tatrinwhitewolf
Laid back and kind of mean, but feelings are very delicate
66 posts
Latest Posts by tatrinwhitewolf
Early scenarios joongdok dynamic 🔥🔥🔥
the relationship between kim dokja and lee jihye is one of my favourites honestly. she jokes around and insults him a lot, but shes also consistently absolutely devastated when he dies, looks up to him but will never admit it, and even takes on some of his self sacrificing tendencies in the demon castle arc. he's like her loser step dad she makes fun of all the time but still gets really excited when he shows up to her baseball game
ok so. the thing about jang hayoung is. her being transgender is explicitly meant to represent her autonomy as a person, and show how limited kim dokja's understanding of twsa is. like jang hayoung as the character kim dokja knows from twsa is perhaps the character who brings up the biggest questions re: character's personhood because kim dokja literally designed her, she's his oc. so we are forced to question her the most - are her traits and personality more attributable to her own choices, or are they entirely kim dokjas, for example. kim dokja knows everything about her, she was entirely his idea, and it leads to all sort of ethical dilemmas about exactly how much she can be considered her own person and what exactly their relationship to each other is.
or it would, if jang hayoung doesn't neatly sidestep all that 'does she even truly exist outside of kim dokja's perception of her' nonsense by looking firmly into the camera and saying yes, obviously. he doesn't even know im girl! so her gender is used to establish both her autonomy as a real human being AND demonstrate that kim dokja really doesn't know as much as he thinks he does, because hey it turns out even if you create them yourself people are sort of unknowable. i wonder if that relates to any of jang hayoung's themes about communication or something
anyway. these are two ideas firmly shoved into kim dokja's face by jang hayoung's gender identity, and they are two ideas he is deeply uncomfortable with. they force him to confront some thoughts he's been deeply suppressing and conflict heavily with his worldview. and unfortunately, sing shong decided to represent this discomfort with what jang hayoung's gender establishes by showing it as discomfort with jang hayoung's gender itself. that is not to say that kim dokja isn't being organically transphobic when he misgenders jang hayoung, just that that distaste for a conflict within his (gendered) worldview represents his distaste for a conflict within his (reader) worldview.
and this is bad. this is clearly a very transphobic and specifically trans misogynistic way to demonstrate this idea. its genuinely very distasteful to me that they decided to use a trans woman character like this. it casts a dark cloud over her character and the interesting things her transness represents - as well as one over the entire novel, not helped by the many other instances of transphobia we see. and i want to clarify that i do see it as bad and distasteful before i draw the following comparison, because as much as i love reclaiming homophobic and transphobic parts of the stories i like, i am deeply cautious of doing so without clearly acknowledging the harm they cause. also, i am a trans man, so i want to tread carefully when it comes to transphobia against trans women specifically.
but i do think its notable that sing shong clearly establish this link between transgenderism and autonomy and struggling to be understood within the story, and then give us a main character who's entire life has revolved around chasing those latter two things. a character who spends the arc jang hayoung stars in either in an opposite-sex-transformation or learning a 'woman only' sport as a 'man'. yoo joonghyuk, just like jang hayoung, is a character who challenges kim dokjas ideas about what it means to be a person vs character. yoo joonghyuk's entire arc is about chasing that autonomy that jang hayoung so clearly establishes through being transgender. yoo joonghyuk spends multiple arcs trying to get through to kim dokja that he does not understand yoo joonghyuk just because he happened to read about him in the way that jang hayoung clearly does when she declares herself a woman. this is a line that the story draws for me, not one im drawing on my own - this is a link between the autonomy yoo joonghyuk wants and the gender identity jang hayoung has that orv has already firmly established (although in a frequently transphobic way). and i think thats extremely interesting to acknowledge and explore, i think its a very clear part of yoo joonghyuk's character in this arc that never really goes away. and thats (part of) why yoo joonghyuk's end is [transition]
Kim Dokja and the concept of dying (major spoilers)
Warning: mentions of suicide, abusive acts and bullying, though it's only mentioned and not specified.
Okay, I've had this idea in my head since last night and probably a few days ago. But I think we all make fun or joke about how much Kim Dokja dies, and I sure as hell ain't gonna read 500+ chapters again just to count how many times he has died and reference what other characters felt towards Kim Dokja dying.
So, why did I bring this up?
Well the reason is simple. I think that Kim Dokja dies to show his love. I mean, it was practically his go to, he'd rather sacrifice himself than let others do it, even though they were 100% willing to die for him, Kim Dokja time and time again breaks his promises just to let them experience a new day.
Lee Sookyung, his mother, kick-started this whole affair. While she didn't die when Kim Dokja killed their abuser, she did ruin her life and made it unable for her to go back to living a life with Kim Dokja. Effectively, to Kim Dokja, the mother he knew died at the same time his father died.
He also had a shitty life and none of his classmates nor relatives were sympathetic nor empathetic at all, hell when he moves in with some relatives I bet they don't even care about him or just abuse him. His classmates hurt him, his teachers turn a blind eye to him and reporters hound him for their money source. The whole world was telling him he was "useless and unimportant" and even Lee Sookyung couldn't comfort Kim Dokja as a mother anymore, I think she knows she lost the right to be Kim Dokja's mother the moment she let her book out, effectively not only ruining her but her son's life.
To both of them, they both died on that same day.
And when the Alter Han Sooyoung saw Kim Dokja's comatose body after he jumped and realized just how much the book she roasted was the only book that made Kim Dokja get up to live another day, even when the world told him "Die, you're nothing but a murderer's son" she kept giving him that awful story she hated "Three Ways to Survive a Ruined World" because deep down, she wanted to have a reader like Kim Dokja who talked to her, read her work and became the only thing letting him live.
Then the dying part.
The first time we see Kim Dokja die was during that King fighting where he managed to become a Salvation King(?). He died the first time and told no one he would come back or maybe assure them he would, because at that time he was living in the world of his novel. The novel that was created for him, and the people in his life and in the novel blend together making him unaware where his reality started and ended. He told no one because, as much as he can admit, he didn't or couldn't trust them, because the people back then would hurt him and tell him to die. Why else would he have committed suicide?
And as the book continues, we see Kim Dokja starting to piece together that people genuinely care for him, that he saved someone even for his own personal benefits and sees that even though they know, they still want to prove themselves. He sees how his mere existence impacts people to be stronger, to be better, and he feels, for the first time, wanting to protect.
During 45th turn (was it 45th..?) Shin Yoosung. Kim Dokja wouldn't let her die and kept doing the impossible to free her and give her a second chance, maybe he saw himself in her and wanted her to have a chance of happiness and freedom that the young Kim Dokja desperately pleaded. Kim Dokja found respite in his novel and now he wants to free Shin Yoosung.
Don't get me started when Yoo Sangah had to die, Lee Sookyung became desperately ill due to her ability or Lee Hyunsung's soul being yeet off to the Land of Oz. He kept going to them and basically screaming "IF YOU SAY I CAN'T DIE! THEN YOU CAN'T DIE NO MATTER WHAT!!!" challenging the impossible, fighting constellations and gambling with his life at stake for his companions.
As the series progress so does his self destructive habits. He will continuously kill himself if it means that the people he starts to love will have a chance to live in this fucked up world. He's been twisted and hammered down by life ever since he was young and no one ever cared for him... Except for the author of the novel, tls123, Alter Han Sooyoung. That extends to the novel.
Now that he has people he cares for, Kin Dokja doesn't know how to say "I love you", doesn't know how to show affection and that just baffles him so he pushes away those emotional needs and quickly tries to ruin the Star Stream. For me, if he destroys the Star Stream, this will be his saying of "I love you" to his companions because by then, everyone is free, nobody needs to die or hurt themselves over a scenario.
Nobody will be strung along for the amusement of constellations.
And since Kim Dokja always dies...
That's his way of saying "I love you" even when it guarantees giving his companions trauma and fears for him. Because Lee Sookyung's final act of motherhood for Kim Dokja was her ruining and killing herself as Kim Dokja's mother and becoming a "murderer", lying to not only everyone in this world and her son, but to herself. This was her final saying of "I love you" to Kim Dokja as she was dragged away to prison.
Kim Dokja, deep down, believes he is unimportant even though he assures himself he is with his knowledge. But when he sees a situation where even he can't find a solution, he will die for them. He won't hesitate to jump into danger if it means saving the only people who loves and cares for him.
The most telling is during the Demon King Selection. Where Kim Dokja's prophesied demise is by the hands of his "most beloved/loved person" and when Kim Dokja found out and when he saw Yoo Joonghyuk ready to sacrifice himself.
I wonder, if he ever felt the flashes of guilt pass through his eyes, because even back then he knew that Yoo Joonghyuk suffered 1863rd turns to keep one reader alive, and that's why he tells Yoo Joonghyuk to live even when Kim Dokja is the most hypocritical person in the world.
Because, to Kim Dokja, Yoo Joonghyuk was the only person who gave Kim Dokja a reason to wake up and not jump.
When he became the Demon King, he didn't attack. He would watch his party cry and kill him and even then he seemed happy. He would eventually come back but in that moment, this incident must have finally shot a bullet in his head that people would cry when he died.
And that led him to want to live. Live and be beside his companions, his family.
This then shows in the Remake of Journey to the West where he made a deal with the Wenny King or Secretive Plotter to become an Outer God if he could not fulfill the requirements in exchange for him living. And when he finally became an Outer God, you could see how much he wants to be with Lee Gilyoung, Shin Yoosung, Yoo Joonghyuk and everyone else. He keeps pursuing such dangerous options so that his companions won't have to do it. He'll step on thorny roads so that his companions can live.
And that even extends to the very final scenes in the book. Two key points:
A.) Kim Dokja splitting himself up and leaving himself behind in the subway.
B.) Kim Dokja going in a coma.
Both are the same in the prospect that the world where his family will live in is going to collapse if nobody dreams for them.
Why Kim Dokja was ready to give his family an avatar with 49% of his memory so that even in spirit, he could be with them. And he was selfish because, as heavily stated before, they were after all, the first people that cared for him. So he held on to 2% of their journey close to his chest as he headed to his death in that lonely subway.
Why Kim Dokja split himself far and wide just so that his companions wouldn't destroy the world together. A suicide mission. He must have been shocked that they loved him that much to disregard the entire universe for him and felt helpless. Because even when they managed to get a hold on him... They would perish and he would be alone.
What was his final moments as he rapidly split himself up, his guilt as he imagined their faces one last time and his helpless laughter as he couldn't believe how preposterous his companions were.
His happiness that someone cared for him which then turned to fear that they would die.
His sadness that he couldn't stay with them and his anger at them for not being satisfied with 49%... His shame when he clung to 2%... His promise he keeps breaking.
He wants to live, even during those days in the scenario where he stayed with Kim Dokja's Company, wants to live with them and live in a world that's slowly healing.
So he'll take any chances to let them live and maybe hope, in this twisted world, he can live with them.
So he sleeps as the Most Ancient Dream and dreams them to be happy and waits to wake up.
That's why the ending is so bittersweet yet beautiful.
Because the Most Ancient Dream woke up to the dreams of his loved ones crashing through the door and turning to reality.
Because even Kim Dokja can love someone. He's no longer Alone nor a Reader.
He's at home.
Making a come back in Ao3 with my new ORV fic.
https://archiveofourown.org/works/62823925/chapters/160850209
Summary: An ORV reaction where Dokja's suicidal ideation is a bit more obvious from Day 0. Where Kim Dokja's company watches Dokja's past and doesn't take dozens to thousands of pages to realize that Dokja had intended to die during that fateful subway ride after reading the final chapter of his favourite novel. Slowly discovering that the truth is even more devastating.
The current 18k (2 chapters) covers from the Prologue to Joonghyuk throwing Dokja off the bridge.
One of the most subtle ways that SHJ and HYJ show they matter to each other is that their words are never forgotten. Call them petty bitches if you will (which they totally are), but HYJ asked SHJ to make one promise to him once, and SHJ brings it up for the next 700 chapters. One offended comment of “I’ll give you about a day to hide” is brought back up like 500 chapters later as they’re in the middle of an intense fight.
They remember every little petty snark because everything the other person says is important to them.
TSCIR is like an essay on how to love someone without saying “I love you”. “I remember the promise”. “I’ll keep my word.” “The things you say are important to me. Even the most inane, trivial ones.”
LOL I like the fact that in Yoojin's official character bio, it mentioned that he finds Hyunjae annoying TWICE. The second statement is in bold font.
Who is he trying to assure with the same statement twice? It was as if to make sure everyone knows. Maybe he wants to make sure Sung Hyunjae knows.
Or is it to reassure himself? Who knows LOL.
4:35 PM LONDON TIME: I MADE IT 49/51 FUCK YEAH
16:00 UK time: Constellations might see the 49% & 51% and think 'ORV barely won' but it's Dokja's plan all along
Decay Belonged to Izuku
Here is my two cents.
All for One being Hisashi Midoriya would not be enough to break Izuku nor Tenko. Tenko doesn't feel like he was replaced, like how Touya feels. He feels used. Like a puppet. Izuku has more father figures than he knows what to do with. I like Dad for One, don't get me wrong.
But it's not powerful enough.
The only thing that would hit every box of everything the story has been about is if All for One and Dr. Garaki gave Tenko Izuku's original quirk. If Izuku was meant to decay.
"Face it, Deku, you'll never have a quirk stronger than mine."
"Even you could become a hero."
"Perfect quirk for a villain. Even I started to believe it."
"These things aren't gifts, they are curses."
"I can take and give quirks, but I can't just throw them away!"
The absolute worse thing to Horikoshi isn't merely good or bad things. If it was, All Might would be dead. But he's alive because the worst thing in the world is for him to watch his legacy burn and be helpless. If it was, Endeavor would be in jail. But he's free, and expected to re-explain and re-affirm to every citizen and journalist who asks him that this is all his fault. The absolute worse things to Horikoshi are the bittersweet things you are expected to be grateful for, even as they eat away at your will to live. The worst things are the awful truths you must endure. Congrats Hawks, your childhood hero is worse than your parents. Congrats Overhaul, you accidentally put your father into a permanent coma....
So wouldn't the worse thing Izuku could experience from "Hisashi Midoriya" be him expecting gratitude for protecting Inko from the ticking time-bomb that is Decay? Wouldn't the worse thing be the guilt Izuku would have for everything Tenko had gone through? Not simply because "I know the guy that did it to you."
But "he did it to you to spare me."
Someone is going to explain to me why Inko was doing the Upset Woman pose BEFORE Izuku was declared quirkless. And then the next thing is her bland "shocked" performance with the nonsensical test results and exposition provided by All for One's personal doctor... then she's crying and apologizing to Izuku...
So this gorgeous story what is a gift? (what is a sacrifice?) by @cywscross gave me feelings and here you go
VENTI’s idle animations
i
i had to think this so now u ppl have to see it
by アナ
Akira: outside: chill, inside: Intense
Minato: outside: chill, inside: chill~
Yu: outside: chill, inside: LOL
https://archiveofourown.org/works/21681676/chapters/51709477
bury a friend rival
“Y’all gotta start normalizing real bodies OK? Not everybody has a wagon behind them. Guts are normal, they’re normal! Boobs sag, especially after breast feeding. Instagram isn’t real.”
Some favorite things from the FMA light novels:
Ed being a ridiculously good librarian
Roy getting “encouragement letters” aka chewing out from higher-ups in Central, which he and Havoc used to make paper airplanes, testing the hypothesis that the higher the rank of the officer who sent it, the further it flies
Havoc and friends starting a ghostbusting team
The time Ed and Al were supposed to be figuring out to do about the Tringham bros but Ed went off on a completely different train of thought and wound up just daydreaming about himself at age 19
Izumi gave Al a comic book! So sweet
KIP, MY BELOVED SON. SO GOOD. SO GOOD
Izumi told Ed to fix a broken radio without using alchemy, so he karate-chopped it. It broke even more, obviously
In an age before cell phones and computers, Roy needed a way to track down the ever-wandering Elric brothers, so he closed Ed’s bank account in order to force him to come to HQ and talk to him
Ed wanted to piss Roy off, so while he was flirting with some women, he ran up and started calling him dad. He then got kidnapped by people who believed him to be Roy’s actual son, and nobody was really concerned, in fact they mostly felt sorry for the kidnappers and debated sending flowers.
Al locating Ed in an unfamiliar building by whispering “Hey, bean sprout!” and listening for the rampage from 3 floors above them
Al had an entire subplot about learning to accept himself as he is and understanding that he’s not a lesser person for not having a body, and that he can actually live a good life as he is. His final conclusion was “Yeah there’s nothing wrong with me and I could keep living like this, but fuck it, I don’t feel like it”
The time as kids when Ed and his friend Pit threw pillbugs at the girls in their school, obviously causing them to freak out… Except for Winry, who quietly picked up every last pillbug and later stuffed them down Ed and Kip’s shirts.
ROY DOESN’T KNOW HOW TO PEEL CARROTS
What’s your opinion on jiraiya? Personally I detest him
Funny you should ask ‘cause I’m readying chapter 29 for publishing as we speak, and he just happens to make his first apparition here.
I dislike him and always have. In fact I think he’s the only “nice” character I disliked from the start - for most of the others it came when I was older and analyzing Naruto deeper than I had as a kid. But Jiraiya never worked on me. First of all, because the pervert trope is one of the things I dislike the most in manga and anime culture. This whole “old man perving after women, trying to see them naked and talking about boobs all the time” really isn’t what draws me to the media. Especially because it’s never criticized in any way - he gets called out on it and punched on occasion, but it’s not seen as a major character flaw, the way it should. I read back on his first meeting with Naruto for chapter 29 and damn. Naruto uses Sexy Meta to convince him to train him, and he tries to bargain for him to stay in that form the whole time… NOT cute and funny. This is just gross.
Generally speaking he is unlikeable to me. Irresponsible, immature, caring only about his immediate pleasure, kind of mean at times too… It’s been said before but the scene where he convinces Naruto to entrust him with his hard-worn money, only to spend it all in women and alcohol? Like, wow. That’s top-notch asshole move, there’s nothing excusable about it, and even as a kid it made me very uncomfortable, seeing that it was pretty much swept under the rug.
And well, getting into meta and over-analyzing Naruto really doesn’t paint him in a better light, because he’s the boy’s fucking godfather and he abandoned him just like the rest. Even if he was spying around, even if he had missions and whatnot, he should have checked on the kid, there’s really no excuse for it. And again the issue is that it’s not one. Just like the Sandaime, his actions are never put into question. It feeds into the general issue of no one ever fucking apologizing to Naruto for failing him and for the shit they put him though, and Naruto never resenting anyone either, something that’s I’m forever bitter about (and made me write 240k of fanfic lol). As it is, his death didn’t work for me as well as it’s supposed to in the narrative, because like… I really never felt like Naruto was that attached to him, and had any reason to? And I surely wasn’t attached either. I was sad Naruto lost him, but at the same time… Meh.
I enjoy his backstory with Tsunade and Orochimaru a lot more. I like their relationship and the tragedy behind it, how they failed utterly and completely to save each other. And I’m partial to the whole Ame Kids Debable I guess, even if how could the village let him stay in a warzone to teach foreign kids for what many years is beyond me. Don’t shinobi have like, things to do? Duties to uphold? Also I’m on the wikia and I just saw that when he parted with them he told Konan she’d grow to be beautiful, and to come see him when she turned eighteen… Why man, why.
And this whole prophecy child also does very little to me? But that has more to do with that plotline in general, that was pretty useless and unnecessary imo. So yeah, it’s safe to say I don’t like him.
BUT he’s still part of the story and still has a role to play in my fic, and I don’t bash character cause I don’t. So I’ll have to find a way to make him okay for me to write… We’ll see how I fare haha.
Sorry for the rant, seems like I had things to say on the matter. Thanks for asking though, I’m always ready to give a lengthy opinion on anything at any time :p
So I have read several people complaining that they can't be expected to know the "unwritten rules" of fandom. So here's what I wish people knew:
Fanfiction is fiction.
Fictional people are not real.
Fictional people do not have rights.
Fictional people cannot be abused.
Reading or writing about something does not mean the desire to do or support it in the real world.
If I find art upsetting/triggering/disgusting/outraging/unpleasant/squicky/distressing/offensive, it is on me not to read it, not the creators and hosts to remove it.
Curate your own experience. The back buttons exist for a reason.
If you don't trust yourself to do that, get someone you trust to do it for you.
Fandom is an adult space. Adults create and own and host fandom spaces. If minors want to participate, then the onus is on them and their parents/guardians/trusted adults to ensure they participate appropriately, not on strange adults to stop being adults.
You often don't know the assault status or mental health status or neurotype or race or nationality or religion or gender or sexuality or age of a creator or consumer, and they do not have to disclose to you to justify their fantasy.
AO3 is not a safe space. It is not intended to be a safe space. Proceed accordingly.
Just because you don't like something or find it offensive doesn't mean it is a "problem" that "has to be dealt with".
Most characters in anime are not white.
There is no onus on you to reblog or share anything.
Everyone makes mistakes in fandom and is less than their best self sometimes.
Persistent pseudonyms encourage long term relationships.
Ship wars are stupid.
Someone else enjoying things does not impact on your own enjoyment of other things.
Tagging and warning is a courtesy, not a requirement. Assume any fic might contain untagged content.
Rating is an imprecise art, not a science.
Don't hassle IP creators.
Most people who are in fandom are hoping to make connections based on a shared passion.
Trying to profit from transformative fanworks puts us all at risk.
No one is obligated to share your head canon or fanon.
Being kind rarely fails to pay off.
It is okay to block and remove people who make your experience unpleasant. You don't have to placate them. (Learn from my mistakes).
Britpicking is a good thing.
You don't have to justify why you like a canon/pairing/trope/kink. Sometimes navel gazing is fun, but you don't have an obligation to explain yourself, especially to strangers. I share the overwhelming desire to refute an unfair accusation, but the people accusing you are rarely doing so in good faith, so you're batting a losing wicket.
I'm not your Mum. (Well, okay, a very few of you can call me Mum or Mom, but if you are one of them you already know who you are ❤️)
If you aren't mature enough to take responsibility for your online experiences, you aren't mature enough to be in fandom spaces.
Watch "If High School and College Textbooks Were Honest - Honest Ads" on YouTube
@jaaycranic
Few teachers have the energy or will or funds to even change things. One, job's overtime. Two, job's funds are low. Three, with standardized tests parents only care about their children passing tests not being actual decent human beings and if children finds anything unsatisfying about us and dares to say a word to their parents and their parents go to the principal, goodbye to this shitty job that at least has steady paycheck and roof over heads.
There's at least 27 more reasons, go.
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animation practice feat. danny
our fandom has so much variety, so I made a test to help people gauge what type of Danny Phantom Fanfiction reader they are! so many options haha!