Easily Paleo-ified With Some Tweaks To The Stir-fry Sauce.

“We don’t have balls. But we know how to use them.”

adulthood is carefully writing a two paragraph email that could actually just be reduced completely to “hey, what the fuck”

An Intro To Indian Dishes, by BuzzFeed India

fluffy 21? thank you :)

Lexa sat patiently on the bed, occasionally glancing at her phone. She heard a thump and a groan and looked toward the bathroom.

“Babe?”

“Not yet, not yet!” The reply came.

Lexa sighed and scrolled on her phone, mindlessly clicking on the pictures that popped up on her feed. When an article finally caught her attention, she didn’t hear the door open.

“Lexa.”

“Hm?” Lexa looked up and felt her jaw drop, but most likely not for the reason her wife wanted.

“Oh my god,” she said, then couldn’t stop a burst of laughter.

“Lexa! It’s not funny!”

Clarke stood in all her glory, wearing a human-sized bee costume with the antenna hat to match. It looked like the stomach was padded with thick and soft material, making Clarke look especially round and wildly adorable.

Lexa stood up with tears in her eyes. “Are you going to teach these kids about the birds and the bees?”

Clarke glared at her, folding her arms beneath her ridiculously fuzzy chest, which somehow made her look even less intimidating.

Lexa touched her antennas. “I wouldn’t mind a lesson.”

“If you think you’re getting laid after laughing at me, think again.”

“Okay, okay,” Lexa said, trying to control her facial muscles. “It — it looks great.”

Clarke stared at her for five long seconds before Lexa exploded into laughter again.

“Oh my god, I can’t stand you,” Clarke exclaimed. “You said it looked cute when I showed you a picture!”

“Yes, on the preschooler modeling it!” Lexa tried to defend herself. “You said they had an adult version! I assumed it didn’t look like… this.”

“Oh like this, huh? And what is this, Lexa?”

Lexa bit her lip. “It’s just so… fuzzy. And bright. That yellow is very bright. I mean, it’s practically neon.”

Clarke pinched her arm. “Ow!” Lexa whined,

“That’s for promising Octavia’s kids we’d dress up for their stupid themed party and then you bailing on me.”

“How could I know Anya would plan lunch?” Lexa justified weakly.

“Oh shut up,” Clarke glared at her. “You’re abandoning your wife for your older sister. It’s duly noted.”

“Babe,” Lexa pouted, “I haven’t seen her in five months. I see Octavia every week.”

Clarke said nothing, maintaining a steely stare. Lexa couldn’t help but notice the popped collar of the costume paired with the hat made Clarke’s face look rounder.

“I know you’re trying, but you’re not very intimidating,” she pointed out, amused.

Clarke stepper closer, their noses almost touching. Lexa could feel one of the antennas poking the top of her head but abstained from making a remark that would likely keep her from seeing her wife naked for a good week.

“Um… I take it back,” she said instead. “You’re the fiercest bee in the land.”

She felt Clarke’s breath and glanced at her mouth, smiling softly as she leaned forward.

Clarke pulled back just as Lexa’s lips brushed against hers. “That’s what I thought. I’m going to get my purse.”

When she turned around, Lexa made the mistake of glancing at her ass, which, granted, in any other situation would not have had such tragic consequences. But when she saw that the costume’s stinger bounced with each one of Clarke’s steps, she slapped her hand over her mouth.

The noise made Clarke look back at her. She narrowed her eyes when she realized Lexa was covering her mouth. “Don’t you dare.”

Lexa shook her head, “Hm-mm.”

Clarke waited a few seconds before she turned around again. It took barely one step for Lexa to crack.

“Divorce!” Clarke shouted dramatically as she walked away with her bouncing stinger, further fueling Lexa’s fit of laughter.