[REDACTED] On Main

Humans are adorable.

Supporting evidence:

1. Humans say ‘ow’, even if they haven’t actually been hurt. It’s just a thing they say when they think they might have been hurt, but aren’t sure yet.

2. Humans collect shiny things and decorate their bodies and nests with them. The shinier the better, although each individual has a unique taste for style and colouring

3. Humans are not an aquatic or even amphibious species, but they flock to bodies of water simply to play in it. They can’t even hold their breath all that long; they just love to splash!

4. When night falls and the sky goes dark, humans become drowsy and begin to cocoon themselves in soft, fluffy bedding.

5. Some humans spend time in each other’s nests! Just for fun! It’s not their nest; they’re just visiting each other.

6. Some humans use pigments and dyes to make their bodies flashy and colourful! They even attach shiny dangly bits to their cartalidgous membranes!

7. Humans are very clever, and sometimes adopt creatures from other species into their family units. They don’t seem to notice the obvious differences, and often raise them alongside their own young!

8. If a human sees another creature in distress, they can commonly be observed trying to help! Even at their own risk, most humans are deeply compassionate creatures!

9. If a human hears a particularity catchy sound or tune, it will often mimic it, even to the point of annoying themselves!

10. Sneezes are entirely involuntary, and completely adorable. Especially when the human in question becomes frustrated

11. Humans love treats!!! Some more than others. Many humans will save these treats specifically for a later date when they are in need of comfort or reassurance. IE, pickles, pop tarts, Popsicles, etc

12. They’re learning to travel in space!!! They can’t get very far, but they’re trying!!! So far, they’ve made it to the end of their yard, and have found rocks

Um…what the fuck?

useful chart

All currently revealed characters for Smash Bros Ultimate

Some nerd: Pokémon USUM sucks

Me: You can do a photoshoot with God

Nerd: What-

Me:

was ringing up a customer and added his coupons, he was surprised it took off so much off the total and i accidentally said “well tits the season!” instead of tis the season but he let out a very long and powerful “Heeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeell yeah”

did i ever tell you about that time my mum psychologically conditioned me to stay away from her snacks 

one day, as i was minding my own business, she walked into the room, said hello, handed me a single raspberry, then left. i said thank you, and ate it. i love raspberries! unexpected ones especially!

the next day, at about the same time, she did the same. and again, the day after that. i would be minding my own business, she would walk in, hand my a raspberry, and leave, and eventually i began to look forward to this. 

then it occurred to me 

if she’s giving me one there’s an entire punnet hidden somewhere. and she knew. when she saw me rooting in the cupboards she knew. 

she admitted that she would come in at the same time every day to hand me a raspberry because she knew that it would take a while for me to cotton on to what she was doing. she was training me to expect a single raspberry, while she hid the punnet for herself, because i had come to view it as a nice bonus during the day and didn’t notice that there would be more. she studied psychology and she used this knowledge to keep me away from the raspberries.

Fire Emblem Fates - Confessions Part 4

I have to give bunny suit to my Hector slayer and my tank too.

This has become something of a tradition I guess

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Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4 | Part 5