after hanging out for a few hours, she had to go because her three kids were home from school ♥
Physically, I'm asexual
Emotionally, I'm a die-hard romantic
MENTALLY? I want to be knotted
He does find it eventually wink wink
https://twitter.com/cnmbwjx/status/1590227514131349504/photo/4
Warhammer high?
I beg my kidnappers for a phone, swearing not to make any calls or texts, and they stare over my shoulder, holding a gun to my head as I use my newly-freed hand to post, "So do like, dudes just buy ropes and baklavas from the same store or what lmfao like a specialty Crime Store"
One of the kidnappers says "balaclavas" but it's muffled under the fabric. I ask them to repeat and they do, their voice raspy from disuse. "You wrote baklava, that's a pastry." The other kidnapper goes "stfu" and then after a pause goes "Why would you buy from a crime store"
A wild Heket joins your party!🍄🍁
Reblog In 5 seconds for good luck
For Years my brother has been fucking with me by periodically texting me to say Jimmy Carter had finally died. Today the bit has paid off.
The response to my reaction at work was “what do you MEAN ‘for real this time’?????”
I fucking hate it here I’m crying