Me: *has An Opinion*

Fummins make the world go ‘round!

For those not familiar with Joe Arpaio, he is the county sheriff of Maricopa County, Arizona. He keeps getting re-elected over and over again. These are some of the reasons why:

Sheriff Joe Arpaio created the “tent city jail” to save Arizona from spending tens of millions of dollars on another expensive prison complex; inmates sleep in tents!

He has jail meals down to 20 cents a serving and charges the inmates for them.

He banned smoking and pornographic magazines in the jails, took away their weightlifting equipment and cut off all but “G” movies. He says, “They’re in jail to pay a debt to society, not to build muscles so they can assault innocent people when they leave.”

He started chain gangs to use the inmates to do free work on county and city projects and save taxpayer’s money. Men work in pink “Clean(ing) and Sober” shirts. Their underwear is also pink!

Then he started chain gangs for women so he wouldn’t get sued for discrimination.

He took away cable TV until he found out there was a federal court order that required cable TV for jails. So he hooked up the cable TV again but only allows the Disney Channel and The Weather Channel. When asked why the weather channel, he replied, “So these morons will know how hot it’s gonna be while they are working on my chain gangs.”

He cut off coffee because it has zero nutritional value and is therefore a waste of taxpayer money. When the inmates complained, he told them, “This isn’t the Ritz. If you don’t like it, don’t come back.”

He also bought the Newt Gingrich lecture series on US history that he pipes into the jails. When asked by a reporter if he had any lecture series by a Democrat, he replied that a democratic lecture series that actually tells the truth for a change would be welcome and that it might even explain why 95% of the inmates were in his jails in the first place.

With temperatures being even hotter than usual in Phoenix (116° F set a new record for June 2, 2009), the Associated Press reported that about 2,000 inmates living in a tent encampment surrounded by barbed wire at the Maricopa County Jail have been given permission to strip down to their government-issued pink boxer shorts. On that Wednesday, hundreds of men wearing pink boxer shorts were overheard chatting in the tents, where temperatures reached 128 degrees. “This is hell. It feels like we live in a furnace,” said Ernesto Gonzales, an inmate for 2 years with 10 more to go. “It’s inhumane.”

Joe Arpaio, who makes his prisoners wear pink and eat bologna sandwiches, is not one bit sympathetic. “Criminals should be punished for their crimes, not live in luxury until it’s time for parole, only to go out and commit more crimes so they can come back in to live on taxpayers money and enjoy things many taxpayers can’t afford to have for themselves.”

The same day he told all the inmates who were complaining of the heat in the tents: “It’s between 120 to 130 degrees in Iraq and our soldiers are living in tents there too, and they have to walk all day in that sun, wearing full battle gear and getting shot at, and THEY have not committed any crimes, so shut your damned mouths!”

Sheriff Joe was just re-elected for the fourteenth time as Sheriff in Maricopa County, Arizona.

How to be an Awesome Wife: Millennial Edition

Take care of the children. Staying home to raise your children is not for the faint of heart. It is a daily challenge, but very rewarding in the end. Your Husband is probably an amazing Father, but he will never have the same emotional connection that you do with your children. Mothers have a maternal instinct and a bond with their babies cannot be broken. Utilize parenting techniques that work for both of you. Your Husband should act as lead disciplinarian, with you acting at the lead nurturer. This instills structure and a hierarchy in your home; teaching your children to respect authority. This starts by submitting to your husband, in turn your children will have a model to emulate.

Cook and bake well. Being in charge of your family’s nutrition is of the upmost importance. Making mac and cheese from a box every night dosent count. Cooking shows, online tutorials/ courses and cookbooks are all great references. Prepping meals earlier in the day or the night before is also a big help when it comes to managing family time in the evenings.

Keep your home clean. The home should be a relaxing environment. A disorderly home causes stress and anxiety. Your Husband wants to come home to an orderly home. If you have very small children, your Husband should allow you some leeway here, as young children are professional lil’ mess-makers.

Put effort into your appearance. Look attractive for him, never “let yourself go.” Take time to do your hair and make-up. Online make-up tutorials are helpful. Wear tight fitting clothes; low cut shirts and yoga pants when in the house. If your Husband prefers that you dress more modestly while outside, then do so accordingly.

Never deny any type of sexual advances from your Husband. Additionally, your acceptance should be paired with enthusiasm. Your Husband should feel comfortable to act out any sexual ideas/fantasies that he may have. Once married, ANY kind of sexual act between a Husband and wife is deemed as an “act of love.” Dick sucking/oral sex should be offered daily and is also an act of submission in and of itself.

When you are out alone, never partake in anything that your Husband wouldn’t approve of. If you have to hide something, then you shouldn’t be doing it in the first place.

Dont spend too much time on your phone or tablet when your Husband is home. Additionally, when your Husband speaks to you, look up at him and not down at your phone when replying.

Do not argue aggressively with him. Communicate openly and calmly about any issues that arise. Both partners deserve to be heard respectfully. Your opinion is important to your Husband as he doesn’t want a doormat. But as Man of the house, he should make the final decision.

Save money. Housewives are often seen as “kept women” who shop and spend frivolously. Alternatively, many housewives will tell you what a complete fallacy that is. Learning how to budget money properly, couponing and keeping a stockpile are all important aspects of running your home efficiently.

❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

#getchasumathat

my brother tried to pick up a banana to make it look like he was talking on the phone but all the bananas in the bunch came with it and he just looked at me and went “i guess it’s a conference call”