IMPORTANT

Extra stuff in the tags. I’m normal about this image. Totally.

snipertism. sniper autism. :-)

HAPPY PAN DAY!

How would Spy react to not being able to find his knife, only to see some little kid messing with it?

LET ME SEE WHAT YOU HAVE,

A KNIFE!

NO!

SMALL CHILD WIELDS SHARP OBJECT, LOCAL SPY CONFOUNDED!

His first feelings would likely be of confusion, anger, followed by seething rage when he noticed his knife was missing. After all, he was the Spy, no filthy pickpocket could simply take it. There was no way he had forgotten it either, as he triple checked his belongings and kept them on his person at all times. Being in public, there was no way for Spy to necessarily do much about it. He couldn’t just shout “WHERE IS MY KNIFE?!” To the world, and so he forces a deep breath and begins to search, splitting off from the team and looking about without garnering attention, as if he were merely a tourist.

At first, he had expected to be looking for any suspicious individuals, not anyone barely up to his middle in height. Yet, after a minute or two of scanning the room, there had been no other options, and right there. A lone child, holding a knife.

They were practically begging to be yelled at, dragged by the ear and taken to their guardians for such a bold defiance of all things he held dear, yet… It seemed the child had no parents in their midst. They were enthralled by the blade, flicking it between their fingers and trying to get the butterfly knife to do a trick or two, the light metal clattering far less satisfyingly in their smaller hands. Yet, while not masterful, the little kid treated the weapon with respectful caution, lacking precision but aware that their plaything was dangerous and sharp.

Spy found himself staring, rather than doing anything about it. Nothing about their appearance resembled his son, it wasn’t as if he had reason to not snatch it away and be done with it, yet here he was. Perhaps he saw a bit of his younger self in their eyes, or in the way they had healthy caution for the unknown, yet played with it anyway. 

Eventually, he exhaled and wandered over to the child, unsure what angle with which to approach the situation. Putting out his cigarette and kneeling down to get to eye level, he left a hand outstretched for them to return the knife, frowning.

“This is mine, mon petit, may I have it back…?

The child seems afraid, immediately shocked that they were caught. They shake their head, mumbling a “noo…”

“And why is that?” He has to force himself to be patient. Interacting with children is not his forte, but perhaps it feels like a second chance.

 Reminding himself this is a stranger, but unwilling to walk away without at least getting his knife back, and giving the child reason not to do such a thing again.

They blink, looking down at the butterfly knife. “Cause it’s pretty and feels good to use… Whus your accent from? S’all sounds pretty...”

Spy, shocked by the answer, goes silent, before sighing.

“Well, it is unwise to play with dangerous objects, mon ami. And… It is French. Do you know French?”

“My momma was from France! I knew I recognized th’ talking…”

“And where is she now..?”

The child’s expression immediately falls, and Spy needs no verbal answer to know what may have happened.

“Have you any other guardians?”

They shake their head, pointing down the road towards the old orphanage, shrugging sadly.

“Don’ matter, s'alright…”

There was the anger again, but now tenfold. Not at this child, but at himself. Of course he had to converse with the child, feel protective, now look at him. He had a job to do, he should have just grabbed the knife and went on with his day. 

When they finished talking, and Spy had left, there was a hollow feeling in his chest. Guilt, was it? Insecurity? Knowing the effect of not being present, it felt as if perhaps he was being given a second chance, yet he wasn’t sure how willing he was to throw it away.

Returning to the base, there were quite a few phone calls made to Miss Pauling, then the Administrator herself. Paperwork, negotiations, how in gods name would he work this out- Convincing Miss Pauling to allow a child into the base-- so long as battles were separate and hidden from their view, had been a breeze, but it was the Administrator, a cold, cruel hag of a woman whom he knew would take issue with the idea. It was to the point that he had been conversing through the night, even just in his white button up and suit pants, but he continued to talk.

What would his teammates think? He dreaded to find out, he merely hoped none of them would question it or tease him, but he knew he would come under fire, if only because he was the Spy, an uncaring, cold, emotionless figure.

At the very least, he knew he had time to pass, since the time in which it would take to get the paperwork in order, a new room built, etcetera, would give him ample time to learn more about who it is he was about to bring to the base.

That next day, a child wakes up to a gift by an unknown donator, all they know is it was a man with a vest and tie, with salt and pepper hair, inside of which is the materials to make the popsicle stick butterfly knife, a soft rabbit plushie, and a note written in a very simple cipher for them to solve.

“Pack your things in two weeks, If you see a woman in purple, she is your friend.”

I was reading through your work and its great!!! I can't wait to read more! Also while i was reading it i had a thought. Please imagine: spy trying to be a good teammate and carry one of his teammates to bed but he has the muscles of a stickbug and he's struggling so hard

Thank you so much!! That means the world to me haha.

ALSO YES I AGREE. Y’know how Engineer calls Scout “Stringbean”? Spy is a walking beanpole, its genetic.

Despite this, I’d say he’s perfectly capable of hauling around the unconscious or dead. After all, he’s a silent killer and a master of espionage. He uses his appearance to his advantage if he is found out since they’ll underestimate just how dangerous the Spy can be. 

HOWEVER!

Just because Spy can haul things around doesn’t mean he can do it in a manner that is comfortable to the person he’s holding. He just need to be quick to get away. So uh, sleepy merc on the couch, someone like Engie?

Spy is gonna need some help, but from who? Maybe Demo, but he called the lad a drunken wretch earlier that day during battle, so that was a no go. Soldier? Too loud. Scout? Absolutely not. Heavy? No, no. Heavy might wake them up. Certainly not Pyro, and Sniper is out in his van.

Through process of elimination, he begrudgingly has to ask Medic for assistance. Safe to say he’s not happy to have been brought out of an important experiment for something of such unimportance, but he certainly finds it amusing. He agrees to move the sleeping mercenary and in return Spy finally agrees to an annual “checkup” (aka having all of your organs rifled through).

He can be charitable.

Sometimes.

Someone give this man a hug (you’ll get backstabbed, make sure you’re hooked up to respawn first)

Edit: I SWEAR IT BEING ENGIE WAS NOT ON PURPOSE DIRECTLY BEING POSTED RIGHT AFTER YOU AND @pocketsniper IM SORRY

OKAY, so I was a bit antsy about posting this but hopefully I got the tw tags right? If there’s anything else I need to / can do to prevent this from reaching people sensitive to blood or gore let me know!!

It’s just a bit of medic fanart, but I’m still getting used to this site so I don’t know how much forewarning is needed.

Oh btw! Someone sent in an ask so hopefully I’ll have some headcanons out soon. Heads up though, school is on weekdays obv and that’s when I usually write chapters for tens a crowd, so I don’t know if posts will be as common during those times!

-And the connective point between worlds must be sustained by a kinetic field suspended inside of both rifts, leading to the divided halves entering stasis and allowing travel- yes! But how to harness the raw energy if this plane prevents Merasmus from even harnessing- no, wait, incorrect... But why then do I...

Oh!

Is- is this thing on?

Yes, it appears to be working fine...

Well, hello, mortals! Long time no see! Merasmus has been busy.

Allow me to fill you in on the details!

Aside from cleaning up blood stains in the carpet, drama and a rather chaotic week, Merasmus has been doing... Other things, on the side.

See, as powerful and mighty a wizard I am, the fact remains that I appear to be... Stuck.

Trapped in a realm known as “Earth.”

There is a reason for this! But Merasmus will sore you the grueling details. All you mortals need to know is that I have yet to find the clues to how magic works on Earth, and it has hindered my progress in getting back home.

Now, I will admit, Merasmus has enjoyed these adventures! A lot, actually! But it is unfamiliar, and Merasmus is very, very scared.

After all, like Merasmus said! There is a reason for my intrusion!

But why am I telling you this..?

Err,

Well,

There’s sounds of shuffling.

I don’t know... What am I doing? There’s no way this will work...

Ahem.

Mortals, I am going to be frank with you.

Whether or not I can make it to the next realm, I require assistance. The channeling of magic, my channeling of magic, has manifested into a situation far beyond my control.

So, I will continue to post suggestions! Serious or not! But please, if you have- if there is any way you know- how this “Earth” works, send Merasmus a letter! Any information- any suggestions- any questions may bring me closer to a new discovery.

Ah, this is getting a bit long, isn’t it.

Farewell, Mortals! Best of luck on your journeys!-

The tape cuts out on the last word.

So, self insert ocs.

As someone who’s blog revolves around this one, I have some thoughts on the post.

Edith was originally a self insert oc. However, since I wanted the fic I was writing to be a sort of love letter to the community, I decided to expand her personality and try to make it so that she could be projected on by anybody. Or at least, as many people as possible. Speaking a second language, feeling out of place, having anxiety about going places, making impressions, the things in her past and mistakes she’s made, all of these things are a mixture of what I feel and what I’ve heard others feel a lot, and so I added them.

But she is, in fact, her own character and 10th class, whom I love a lot. Whether or not she is so wholly unique that she stands out, I don’t care.

But what I did care about, ironically enough, was making an impression. And that came with the mechanics of her class. 

Just because you have a self insert or 10th class OC, you are not obligated in any way to explain what their purpose is, what their reasons are, so long as YOU are happy.

For me, I wanted to come up with a unique 10th class that had her own mechanics, but that’s because I saw untapped potential. If she were to be in the game, it would be near impossible for those mechanics to actually work due to map limitations. 

And that’s the thing, because she’s a work of fiction, it doesn’t matter.

That means I can get as creative as I want with her, because she’s not part of the game. 

As for shipping, my personal rule is not to ship her with any of the mercs! Not in the main fic, anyway. Might make some spinoffs if I ever finish the main one, but I felt that many had a bias towards certain characters they liked, (which is absolutely fair and I love those kinds of fics either way), and I wanted to keep it so that she could have varying relationships with everyone and not just romance! It’s for personal reasons, not influenced by anybody else.

 However, I immensely enjoy seeing people shipping their ocs and self inserts with the team! Why the heck do you think I post x reader headcanons sometimes?

In the end, your characters are not more or less valid, and you don’t love your characters more or less depending on how developed they are.

As long as a character makes you happy, as long as the relationships they share make you happy, as long as you are content, then nobody, and I mean NOBODY can tell you how YOU should write YOUR characters.

You can take overdone concepts and expand upon them in your own way, because your character is unique to YOU.

You can give them modern day clothes and use tropes because your character is unique to YOU.

and YOU,

can do whatever you DAMN want.

You are valid, loved, and your characters, your self inserts, your tenth classes are yours and yours only. I support you all the way!

Do not send hate/harassment towards the author of the post being mentioned here, you goofs. 

Hello! So I have this OC i ship with Sniper, and I was wondering if you could write prompts for Scout or any of the other team members trying to get Sniper and a reader in general together. Thanks, and love your prompts!

Sure can do, and thanks so much! The compliments mean a lot to me :•) lol this idea was fun to work with, I wrote a lot more than I thought I would! I hope it’s not too rambly lol

Scout and the mercs being Sniper’s wingmen

No TWs

Scout and Sniper’s friendship is actually stronger than one might think, considering it all started because Scout refused to stop pestering the Aussie. Eventually Sniper got used to it, and Scout basically adopted him as his introverted friend. They don’t always hang out but they’re definitely close!

The Bostonian is not always the most observant, so he doesn’t exactly catch on to the tension between Sniper and you until he’s questioning why the Aussie’s been ditching him to hang with you.

“What, you got like a crush on ‘em or somethin’?”

“…”

“… wait, no way— actually?? You have a crush?? On them??!”

“Oi, shut your trap, ya damn weasel!”

The furious blush that grows on Mick’s face, and the lack of an outright denial, are enough for Scout to absolutely tease the shit out of him. It’s likely that the entire team will find out about Sniper’s crush on you simply from Scout’s teasing. He likes to make kissy faces mockingly behind your back when the man speaks to you, especially.

The other mercs tease him too, but none are as relentless (or as vulgar) as Scout.

“You know they’re waaayy out of your league, right?”

“…Yeah, I know.”

That’s what ultimately strikes a chord with Scout. He was only joking, but Sniper wasn’t. Mick doesn’t… think very highly of himself to begin with. He’s certainly not boyfriend material in his eyes, and you’re like perfection personified. There’s no way you’d settle for a bloke like him.

Scout hates seeing someone he cares about wallow in self pity like that, and he feels pretty shitty for going too far with his teasing. So, his apology? He’s going to play Sniper’s wingman and get him a hot date (despite Sniper’s protests).

At first, Scout tries to big up Sniper the way he big up himself. He tells you anytime he does well on the field as he’s especially proud of his work. But he also tries to make Sniper seem “cooler” the same way Jeremy tries to make himself seem cooler, which… leads to some slight lying. He gets halfway through his very over dramatized story about Mick winning a bar fight against five dudes the size of Saxton Hale before the Aussie pushes Scout out of the room and apologizes to you for his behaviour. You both get a laugh out of it at least!

Scout tries to recall everything Spy had taught him from Expiration Date, except he’s mostly forgotten half of what he said and Sniper’s certain that the bucket of chicken trick is not going to work on you. Jeremy argues that no, it will because who doesn’t like a bucket of chicken??

But not all of his advice is that bad. He does tell Mick that if you hated him like he thought, then you wouldn’t always be hanging around him or talking to him. And that he’s certainly not as unattractive as he says. That builds his confidence a little, but he’s still grumpy the entire time, slouching in his seat with his arms crossed as Scout explains what to do when your date is at 7pm.

Eventually, because Scout cannot keep a secret to save his life, word gets out that he’s been coaching Sniper on how to ask you out, and the other mercs decide to help. Some out of a genuine desire to help, others simply because the “Sniper has the biggest, sappiest crush on someone” schtick is hilarious and they want to tease him. Sniper is not appreciative all the time.

“You want to impress them? Is not necessary. They like Sniper very much. But my advice? Fight bear for them. Is very attractive trait to have.”

“You want my advice? Take a shower, bushman.”

“Laddie, yer plenty good enough for ‘em. They’re always hanging around ye anyways; what makes ye think they dinnae like ye?”

“Mph mmmhph!!”

“Now slim, you’re overthinkin’ this. I’m sure it’ll all go well. They’re always telling us guys how great a guy you are… if I was any less observant I’d say the feelin’s mutual.”

“The purest form of love is WAR! You must FIGHT to win the object of your affection’s heart! Now get your boney ass out there and show that son of a bitch the most ROMANTIC fist fight America has ever seen, private!!”

“Don’t worry yourself, Herr Sniper; if you fail to win over their figurative heart, you can always have their literal heart! I am not using it at the moment.”

Yeah not everyone’s advice was taken. But strangely, it did make him feel overall more willing to bite the bullet, especially hearing that the feeling’s not unrequited. But he still refuses to use the chicken trick or lovingly fist fight you. He figures he’ll just invite you to his camper for coffee and fess up there. And that he does.

Just know, the entire team will be proudly patting Sniper on the back for scoring a date with you. And Scout will take all the credit for setting up the lovely couple despite being of little help.

In honor of the second anniversary of his passing, I'm leading another community tribute for the voice actor of TF2's Soldier, Rick May, in the form of a digital zine! If that's something you're interested in, please fill out this interest check!! We'll be accepting artists, writers and SFM/GMOD creators!

Google Docs

Interest Check

Howdy y'all! It's Archie and I'm back at it again with another tribute for the late voice actor of TF2's Soldier, Rick May. This year's trib

Additionally, while the other mods and I are still working things out, here's a carrd full of some information to tide you guys until the Discord server is posted next week, on January 21st! It'll be posted both here on my Tumblr and on my Twitter, @/enbyfroggy :]

Thank you, Rick May

Thank you, Rick May

A tribute zine for everyone's favorite patriot.

(You can also find last year's tribute right here if you've never seen it before!)

I love the idea that friendly fire is enabled and mercs of the same team can hurt eachother so to spy check they're just really tactile with eachother.

Like big pats on the back when passing, hugs as greetings, gripping eachothers shoulders alot y'know?