Latest Posts by tf2strategist - Page 7

Woah wait what?! No wonder the chat wasn’t showing up... I was planning some stuff with them.

Deleted or deactivated?

I’m not going to speak for them, there’s many reasons that it could be but perhaps anxiety surrounding the blogs? I don’t want to speculate though.

If you’re reading this, we hope you’re okay! Please be safe, we’re worried about you. 💖

Does anyone know what happened, to @talk-to-the-mercs? The blog is gone for for some reason. And the creator’s prersonal tumblr (@aggressive-positivity-network) is gone too?? They didn’t do anything against the rules, as far as I know.

If you’re reading this, I’m not mad or anything. But it’s a bit weird to just suddenly disappear…

DAY 1 - BEGINNING

Most lives begin with a doctor, the life of a mercenary begins with a mad ex-doctor! And his boyfriend, too.

How the mercs would cuddle

Really want some soft stuff rn figured I’d share

Not really in any particular order? I just picked some mercs from the pile and put em in there.

Image from tf2gallery

Scout

Touch starved, Scout will melt into any move regarding affection possible!

He’s adamant that he thinks cuddling is gross, but you know he’s a cuddlebug when the two of you are alone.

Prefers to hug facing you while sitting in your lap, maybe leaning against something so you’re more comfortable.

If you’re taller, he’ll probably be attached to your side, arms around your torso.

If you’re shorter, his arms are around your shoulders, head leaning next to yours.

Heavy

Doesn’t mind public displays of affection, though he seems surprised at how confidently you show that he’s your s/o or platonic friend-

Normally when the two of you are together, he has you wrapped up in a bear hug with you resting on his chest.

Other times, if you’re somewhere like a couch, you’ll sandwich yourself between him and the back as if he’s a wall of safety.

But most of all, Heavy prefers to be held. Even if he’s the bigger guy, he’s the little spoon and it shows. He’s always afraid of crushing you in his grip, and he’s always been the mother hen type. Having you there to be his emotional support means the world to him.

Demoman

Being so broad shouldered means hugging can be an issue at times. When cuddling, the two of you tend to be in a sort of sideways position around each other, curled up like cats. The other mercenaries find it hilarious, especially when Demo is drunk and unable to realize he’s even with somebody, holding you to his chest while you just lay there smiling, content.

He is. A sweetheart when it comes to that kind of thing. When he’s more sober, which isn’t very often, he’s much closer and tries to make the best of remembering the moment.

Spy

Being the most well versed in the world of romance, one would think that Spy would be a cuddler. He’s not.

He’s great with giving out compliments, whispering them in your ear as he brings you closer into his arms, but the second you approach him and he isn’t expecting it, he freezes up quicker than lightning.

“Mon cher, what is it you are doing?”

He’s completely flabbergasted by the idea of just. Sitting, and relaxing next to another person? He much prefers to be alone, but you manage to convince him to try after an unbelievable amount of effort.

At first, it started with him sitting, unsure next to you with you leaning into his side, or maybe with your arm wrapped around his shoulder and your head nestled into the crook of his neck.

Eventually he warms up to it, returning the gesture of having one arm around your shoulders and ith the other hand preoccupied with a book, a cigarette or a glass of wine.

After a particularly long battle, disheveled and ready to throw something, he realized just how helpful having somebody there with him turned out to be. No need for any fancy rituals, just being in each other’s company. He’s drooped over in your arms, hung over your shoulder sideways and exhaustedly bringing you both into a laying position, just so you can both talk without the effort of sitting up.

Medic

Medic is a busy man, constantly moving about in the infirmary attending to his latest inventions or tending to his beloved doves.

He hates when he has no say in something, which is why you have to convince him to step away from his projects after two days without sleep by being there with him for practically every second.

He’s the big spoon, no questions asked. It gives him the feeling of having control over a situation, having you in his arms and close to his chest.

Around the base, particularly if waiting for an early morning mission to begin, he loves it when he can use somebody’s lap as a pillow, meaning yours are the first choice.

When he truly cannot step away from his work, you can probably try sitting in his lap. He likely finds it cute, but he’s very absorbed in his experiments. This means he’s on autopilot and might slice you a few times when reaching over to make an incision, so it’s a risky move for both parties.

Sometimes in the evenings while doing paperwork, when warm orange sunlight filters through the window and onto the desk, he can be found conked out in his office chair, with you in his arms, facing against his chest. When this happens, the doves join in, tucked beneath your neck, on his shoulders, on the seat by your legs, some are even brave enough to quietly nest in your hair. You both deny it happened when scout walked in on the sight while looking for a bandaid.

Sniper

Much like Scout, Sniper is hopelessly touch starved and any affection sends him into overdrive.

Prefers to sit straddling your hips, he’s got long, long legs and is NOT afraid to use them.

Speaking of legs, your cuddling positions can get a bit crazy at times. Considering the fact they can fold entirely across your back, his hugs are more like a trap than an actual method of snuggling up to each other.

When lying down, it’s easier for you to lie on his chest than anywhere beside him thanks to how long his limbs are, but you both don’t mind.

Even just sitting beside each other, Sniper practically melts. Hug? He’s jello. Pet his hair? Cries.

The way he holds you isn’t just for his own comfort though. He’d sacrifice it to see you happy in his arms. No, it’s because in the end, he always has to have one eye open and is therefore rather protective of you.

It’s a sort of defense mechanism, really. If you can’t move away, nobody can try and take you or steal you either. He’s too embarrassed to admit it though, or maybe he just doesn’t know how.

Either way, seeing you safe and sound in his arms is enough.

Not doing all the mercs, but if you want to see the others let me know! It’s just getting late and I need to sleep, also don’t really have many ideas for the other mercs hhh-

50+ Followers?!

W??! Where did you all come from??? I love you all!

Hopefully I can get more headcanons out soon, I haven’t gotten any asks that have personally piqued my interest as of late! Feel free to send in any, even if it’s been done a lot. I’m happy to give my own takes!

Seriously though, thank you all a ton! It’s been a really fun ride so far, I hope to bring a smile to all of your faces!

Im not reblogging to the wrong blog multiple times a day

shutup shutup shutup shutup shutup shutupshutupshutupshut-

YALL I AM SO SORRY THO

ITS REALLY HARD TO REMEMBER ON LONG POSTS TO CHANGE IT.

PLS DONT,, REBLOG THOSE

IF U WANT TO THOE, DO IT ON SNIPERSUGGESTIONS NOT HERE

I APOLOGIZE I HOPE IT DOESNT SPAM YOU GUYS WHEN IM A BIG IDIOT :,)

HAVE SOME ENGIE BEING A GOOD STAND-IN DAD

Oh absolutely! Sniper would have been my first pick tbh, since he’s definitely one to know exactly what to do in a situation like that. Engineer, while smart and chill (I agree you’d spend a lot of time around the campfire!), might not fare well in the survival department since he’s more of a metal-working guy. 

,,but imagine an s/o cuddling against the merc of choice in the wilderness against a tree or in a makeshift shelter in the cold-- hhh

✈️ tf2? 😳

I dunno the idea of being trapped on an island with ANY merc seems like absolute hell but yknow which would be the least?

✈ - character I'd rather be stuck on an island with -

If I had to pick one I'd probably pick Engineer. He's good company, probably really likes campfires, and after a day or so would probably have built a working plane out of twigs and seaweed to get us the hell outta there.

Sniper's also a good choice due to his wilderness survival skills.

To whom it may concern,

It has come to our attention that you have been tampering with our audio and publishing your findings to the public - or at least making it available to them. This is an official cease and desist from Mann Co. Though @talk-to-the-mercs is a public ask blog, their lives are not. There are some things that should remain private. We understand that you may have done this on accident, or that you are working for someone who, through either intimidation or financial promises, is forcing you to go through with this act. However, if this is intentional, remember, we have other ways of convincing you.

With all due respect,

Miss Pauling

R.E.D Corporation

𝗁𝗈𝗐 𝖿𝗈𝗋𝗆𝖺𝗅.

𝗂 𝗐𝗂𝗅𝗅 𝖺𝖽𝗆𝗂𝗍, 𝗂𝗍 𝗐𝖺𝗌 𝗊𝗎𝗂𝗍𝖾 𝗍𝗁𝖾 𝗌𝗁𝗈𝖼𝗄 𝗍𝗈 𝗋𝖾𝖼𝖾𝗂𝗏𝖾 𝗌𝗎𝖼𝗁 𝖺 dignified 𝖺𝖽𝖽𝗋𝖾𝗌𝗌 𝖿𝗋𝗈𝗆 𝗌𝗎𝖼𝗁 𝖺, 𝗁𝗈𝗐 𝗌𝗁𝖺𝗅𝗅 𝗂 𝗐𝗈𝗋𝖽 𝗍𝗁𝗂𝗌- 𝖼𝗅𝗎𝗍𝗍𝖾𝗋𝖾𝖽 𝖻𝖺𝗇𝖽 𝗈𝖿 𝗆𝗈𝗋𝗈𝗇𝗌 𝗅𝗈𝗈𝗌𝖾𝗅𝗒 𝖻𝗈𝗎𝗇𝖽 𝖻𝗒 𝗍𝗁𝖾 𝗐𝗈𝗋𝖽 '𝖼𝗈𝗆𝗉𝖺𝗇𝗒'.

𝗂𝗇 𝖽𝗂𝗋𝖾𝖼𝗍 𝗋𝖾𝗉𝗅𝗒 𝗍𝗈 𝗒𝗈𝗎𝗋 𝖺𝗍𝗍𝖾𝗆𝗉𝗍 𝖺𝗍 𝗍𝗁𝗋𝖾𝖺𝗍𝖾𝗇𝗂𝗇𝗀 𝗐𝗁𝗂𝖼𝗁𝖾𝗏𝖾𝗋 𝖾𝗆𝗉𝗅𝗈𝗒𝖾𝖾 𝗁𝖺𝖽 𝗀𝗈𝗇𝖾 𝖺𝗀𝖺𝗂𝗇𝗌𝗍 𝖽𝗂𝗋𝖾𝖼𝗍 𝗈𝗋𝖽𝖾𝗋𝗌 𝗂𝗇 𝗐𝗁𝗂𝖼𝗁 𝗂 𝗁𝖺𝗏𝖾 𝖼𝗅𝖾𝖺𝗋𝗅𝗒 𝗌𝗍𝖺𝗍𝖾𝖽 𝗈𝗇 𝗆𝗎𝗅𝗍𝗂𝗉𝗅𝖾 𝗈𝖼𝖼𝖺𝗌𝗂𝗈𝗇𝗌 𝗍𝗈 𝗇𝗈𝗍 𝖼𝗈𝗇𝗍𝖺𝖼𝗍 𝖺 𝖻𝖺𝗇𝖽 𝗈𝖿 𝗍𝗁𝗎𝗀𝗌, 𝗂 𝗐𝗈𝗎𝗅𝖽 𝗅𝗂𝗄𝖾 𝗍𝗈 𝖿𝖺𝗑 𝖺 𝗉𝖾𝗋𝗌𝗈𝗇𝖺𝗅𝗂𝗓𝖾𝖽 𝗆𝗂𝖽𝖽𝗅𝖾 𝖿𝗂𝗇𝗀𝖾𝗋 𝖼𝗋𝖾𝖺𝗍𝖾𝖽 𝖾𝗇𝗍𝗂𝗋𝖾𝗅𝗒 𝗂𝗇 𝗍𝖾𝗑𝗍 𝖿𝗈𝗋𝗆𝖺𝗍.

𝗌𝖾𝖾𝗂𝗇𝗀 𝖺𝗌 𝗍𝗁𝖾 𝗀𝗈𝗏𝖾𝗋𝗇𝗆𝖾𝗇𝗍 𝗁𝖺𝗌 𝗒𝖾𝗍 𝗍𝗈 𝖽𝗈 𝖺𝗇𝗒 𝗋𝖾𝖺𝗅 𝗁𝖺𝗋𝗆 𝗍𝗈 𝗒𝗈𝗎𝗋 𝗍𝗁𝗂𝗇𝗅𝗒 𝗏𝖾𝗂𝗅𝖾𝖽 𝗋𝗂𝗇𝗀 𝗈𝖿 𝖼𝗋𝗂𝗆𝗂𝗇𝖺𝗅𝗌, 𝗂 𝖽𝗈 𝗁𝗈𝗉𝖾 𝗒𝗈𝗎 𝖺𝗋𝖾 𝗇𝗈𝗍 𝗌𝖾𝖾𝗄𝗂𝗇𝗀 𝗅𝖾𝗀𝖺𝗅 𝗋𝖾𝗍𝗋𝗂𝖻𝗎𝗍𝗂𝗈𝗇?

𝗈𝗁, 𝖺𝗇𝖽 𝗂𝖿 𝗒𝗈𝗎 𝗐𝖾𝗋𝖾 𝗍𝗁𝗂𝗇𝗄𝗂𝗇𝗀 𝗈𝖿 𝗌𝖾𝗇𝖽𝗂𝗇𝗀 𝗌𝗈𝗆𝖾𝖻𝗈𝖽𝗒 𝗍𝗈 𝗄𝗂𝗅𝗅 𝖺𝗇𝗒𝖻𝗈𝖽𝗒 𝗐𝗂𝗍𝗁𝗂𝗇 𝖤𝗊𝗎𝗂𝗇𝗈𝗑 𝗉𝖾𝗋𝗂𝗆𝖾𝗍𝖾𝗋𝗌, 𝗐𝖾 𝗌𝗉𝖾𝖼𝗂𝖺𝗅𝗂𝗓𝖾 𝗂𝗇 𝗌𝗎𝗋𝗏𝖾𝗂𝗅𝗅𝖺𝗇𝖼𝖾 𝖺𝗇𝖽 𝗌𝖾𝖼𝗎𝗋𝗂𝗍𝗒 𝖿𝗈𝗋 𝖺 𝗋𝖾𝖺𝗌𝗈𝗇, 𝖽𝖾𝖺𝗋𝖾𝗌𝗍 𝖯𝖺𝗎𝗅𝗂𝗇𝗀.

𝗁𝗈𝗐𝖾𝗏𝖾𝗋, 𝖺𝗌 𝗆𝗎𝖼𝗁 𝖺𝗌 𝗂 𝗉𝖾𝗋𝗌𝗈𝗇𝖺𝗅𝗅𝗒 𝖽𝗂𝗌𝗅𝗂𝗄𝖾 𝗒𝗈𝗎 𝖺𝗇𝖽 𝗍𝗁𝖾 𝗁𝖺𝗀 𝗒𝗈𝗎 𝖺𝗋𝖾 𝖺 𝗉𝖺𝗐𝗇 𝗍𝗈, 𝗍𝗁𝖾𝗋𝖾 𝗐𝗂𝗅𝗅 𝖻𝖾 𝖺𝗇 𝗂𝗇𝗏𝖾𝗌𝗍𝗂𝗀𝖺𝗍𝗂𝗈𝗇 𝗂𝗇𝗍𝗈 𝗍𝗁𝖾 𝗌𝗈𝗎𝗋𝖼𝖾. 𝗋𝖾𝗌𝗍 𝖺𝗌𝗌𝗎𝗋𝖾𝖽, 𝗇𝗈 𝗂𝗇𝖿𝗈𝗋𝗆𝖺𝗍𝗂𝗈𝗇 𝗋𝖾𝗅𝖺𝗍𝗂𝗇𝗀 𝗍𝗈 𝗒𝗈𝗎𝗋 𝖽𝖾𝖺𝗋 𝖿𝗋𝗂𝖾𝗇𝖽𝗌 𝗁𝖺𝗌 𝖻𝖾𝖾𝗇 𝗌𝗁𝖺𝗋𝖾𝖽, 𝗐𝗁𝖺𝗍𝖾𝗏𝖾𝗋 𝗒𝗈𝗎 𝗆𝖺𝗒 𝖼𝗁𝗈𝗈𝗌𝖾 𝗍𝗈 𝖻𝖾𝗅𝗂𝖾𝗏𝖾.

𝖼𝗁𝖾𝖾𝗋𝗌, 𝖻𝗎𝗍 𝗇𝗈𝗍 𝗋𝖾𝖺𝗅𝗅𝗒, 𝖬.

Another Medic headcanon

Medic is a surprisingly good singer! He whistles and murmurs lyrics to himself a lot, so it’s no surprise he’s a fan of tunes, not just those of his birds.

When you’re someone who has to go to drastic measures to get the organs, bodies, and medical equipment you need, (including grave robbing, mind you), coming up with ways of convincing your peers becomes essential to the job.

Spy may be a master of disguise, but Medic is more of a deception and manipulation kind of guy. Of course, normally he would never be careful, caring little for the well-being of others, but at times he has to sacrifice that to act more like a ‘professional’ and a ‘doctor’, not to mention ‘not a hired killer’.

So he used his vocal range to his advantage! Medic can easily switch from a smooth baritone to pipsqueak within seconds— from softer than feathers to a harsh yell. He uses it to sell a character that isn’t his own.

Speaking of yelling, Medic is DEFINITELY into releasing his stress by screaming death metal. Without a guitar, he learned how to shred. With a bonesaw. With the amount he has to deal with on a daily basis, can you really blame him? Besides, he enjoys it.

But away from that, what about his voice is really so special? Surely being so distinct in appearance would detract from the show he puts on and the shock factor of switching to a much more agreeable and polite character.

Well, that’s when confidence comes in. As somebody who outplayed the devil himself, it’s safe to say Medic knows how to get what he wants. Outsmarting is one thing, but that requires planning that truly isn’t possible all of the time. So he improvises. That’s how he keeps the mercs alive away from respawn and brings people back from the dead.

Naturally, this gives him an air of authority. He learned exactly how to demand what he wants, be it exotic animal organs, tools, or anesthetic, he knows it all. Sometimes all it requires is the threat of being on the receiving end of the vitasaw, others it requires charm and beguiling charisma to have his way.

Well, either way. Not even spy can figure out exactly how he does it.

Maybe you should ask the birds. They’re always watching.

So a decent amount of people showed interest about this when I gave the idea of this through an sfm poster I made, so I wanted to talk about it here! (Also to show off my work, im rather proud of it!)

Taking place during MvM’s arc, a few of Gray Mann’s bots malfunction and become creepily... sentient, if you could even call it that. They displayed keen interest in their real counterparts, most notably the bot medic. Deep within the tunnels that usher tanks into the scene, a makeshift infirmary was created, where they attempted to mirror the real RED medic, their medicine, their birds, and most of all their excitement. 

They would take pieces of worthless, broken comrades and spare them from incineration, instead repairing them. Unfortunately, they didn’t seem to understand their surroundings quite like he did, and in turn deactivated themselves. So, out of sheer loneliness, they saw one other option...

But enough talk about the Medic, who’s that Sniper?

Bot Sniper was just another pawn of Gray Mann’s, and a younger one at that, fresh out of the factory and emotionless just like the others. Hurriedly rushed onto the battlefield and clueless of what would become of them-- (not having an ai will do that to you) --and began to pick away at the enemy team. 

They aren’t sure what happened that day that allowed them to survive, but a stray rocket hit them square in the chest, exposing their circuitry and leaving them for dead. Yet, as the battle raged on, they held on by a thread, malfunctioning and twitching the entire time. And as it ended, Scout found them convulsing and sparking on the ground long after the mess of cogs had been collected and sold off. 

While he was initially tempted to put it out of it’s supposed misery with his trusty ol’ bat, he uh, wouldn’t tell ya this but he kinda felt bad for the little guy y’know? I mean, not like he didn’t enjoy bashing their heads in, but he was reminded a bit of his own sniper, who very much despised Scout despite his advances to try and be friends.

So, he carefully brought the bot all the way to the base. 

The others did not react well. After all, it could have tracking on it! it could self destruct! spy! what the hell was this kid thinking?!

But he was adamant, saying it couldn’t do crap. I mean, he wasn’t wrong, the bot had little to no function in the first place, but being moved around had... Changed something, wires crossed and code malfunctioned that enabled the experimental programs meant to allow for better fighting tactics in the other robots.

And in that moment of clarity, Sniper let out a fairly broken and staticky transmission.

[ H E L P - M E ]

...

But that’s all in the past. Who are these people, what’s up with scout’s leg? I suppose you may know in the future... Or not! :)

HEADS UP

Might mess with tumblr codes and stuff. Expect my page to be broken or ugly for a while, maybe ever a day or more if I’m lazy! Tryna figure out how this place differs from toyhouse with css and html coding. 

Love ya’ll, stay safe, drink water, and I’ll see you in the next post!

Medic coming to terms with feelings like butterflies and bursts of excitement when fem reader is around? He doesn't really know what love is or if he does hes stubborn and dismissive of it as a concept.

(Hope this sort of ask is okay, also started reading your fic recently and I love it)

Thank you very much, your compliment means a ton! I’m really glad people are liking the fic so far! B,)

And heck yeah these sorts of asks are okay! I’m pumped to do this one!

MEDIC & FEM READER

Oh, Medic was aware of the concept of “love” alright. Not once had he ever thought it more than a series of chemical reactions, that only brought trouble along with them. (Edgelord)

Technically, he briefly had a license. Having gone through training and watching beside “real” doctors, the number of times he had seen the wrong side of relationships was astounding. Partners abused, unfairly treated, spiteful, arguing, more venomous than snakes. Truly, it gave him the idea that love was merely a reason to stick with somebody for far longer than one should, and to give up on your work.

It wasn’t that he didn’t believe in love as a concept, no, but the amount of fantasy brought into such a cut and dry idea left him impassive to it at best.

So when he and you first met, Ludwig found himself baffled at your lack of fear for the doctor, and the confidence you put into your stride, invading his life and the other’s without a care in the world.

He found himself urging you to stay away. After all, these men were dangerous- yet it puzzled him. Why would he? You were a free source of experiment material, not to mention he cared little for others wellbeing, why yours?

It only dawned upon him that he… Rather enjoyed your presence when Archimedes made a display of landing on your wrist, and instead of freaking out or attempting to crush the bird, you merely… Pet it. Stroked it’s feathers with care and… love, that it hit him like a truck.

This man was furious. How dare you come into his life, interfere with his experiments, and drag him into this, this pitfall-

But when he gripped the ubersaw, the look of genuine, pure curiosity and unfiltered exuberance upon seeing it, going so far as to approach the weapon and try and take it in your own hands, that he realized he couldn’t bring himself to do it.

He supposed it was because this woman had never been like one he had ever met prior. Miss Pauling understood his excitement but it was unlikely she shared it, and undoubtedly all the other civilians he had met had been put off by his stories…

Passing in the hallways, he recalled the moments in which it felt like a fluttering dove in his chest, he almost checked if Archimedes had somehow gotten in there- But das war nicht der Fall, no. Had it truly been the affection he had ignored out of spite for god this entire time?

Or instances in which the room went electric with thrilled elation at the discovery that a recent experiment was a success, to have somebody who shared their maniacal laughter or smiled despite their clear discomfort, only served to amplify the charge of exhilaration he felt, to share it.

That you were there when he dropped his guard, showed affection towards his doves, or was vulnerable and weak, sickly even, you had stood by his side like a doctor’s assistant. How had he been so blind?

When he discovered you with his coat draped over your shoulders, far too long with the swath of white fabric touching the floor, he had been stunned. You donned it despite it being spattered with red blood as if it were your own, he could only chuckle and gently pry it away when he saw your look of shock at being found out.

When he found you had taken care of the other mercenaries after watching his methods and practicing it on your own so they would not disturb Medic’s intense focus, had the feeling been pride?

The mad doctor decides to allow you to stay, arranging with Miss Pauling for you to be an assistant so that you would not be gunned down upon leaving with company secrets. As much as he loathed the idea of company of the other mercenaries outside of his experiments on heavy and the others, he can’t help but allow the cheerful bounce in his step when you sign your name on the paperwork, and are accepted into your new home at RED.

PROFESSIONALS HAVE STANDARDS

Sir please brush your teeth I am begging you please sir, sir ple

𝙲 𝚑 𝚊 𝚙 𝚝 𝚎 𝚛   𝟷 𝟶   𝚜 𝚗 𝚎 𝚊 𝚔   𝚙 𝚎 𝚎 𝚔 .

"𝘠'𝘬𝘯𝘰𝘸, 𝘮𝘢𝘺𝘣𝘦 𝘸𝘦'𝘳𝘦 𝘯𝘰𝘵 𝘴𝘰 𝘥𝘪𝘧𝘧𝘦𝘳𝘦𝘯𝘵 𝘢𝘧𝘵𝘦𝘳 𝘢𝘭𝘭."

a bastard

I AVENGED MEDIC

IT WAS A BLOODBATH AND MY CHARACTER NEARLY DIED, THANK GOODNESS I REMEMBERED THAT I CAN SWAP OUT SALVE FOR BETTER HEALING ITEMS...

AFTER HE RESPAWNED, THIS IS ALL HE HAD TO SAY ON THE MATTER:

“I’m alive again! That’s good.”

I don’t know, it’s just canned npc dialogue but the nonchalant way he said it is just. thats him! he’d do that.  I’m thinking of making fanart of my little starbound world crossover thingy, or making a headcanon or two. I’ll try not to clutter the blog though, I just figure you’d like to hear the ending of the story :)

I KILLED MEDIC

ONE OF MY MEDIC CREWMATES IN STARBOUND I MADE INTO LUDWIG AND,, WE WERE WITH A RESEARCHER OF MINE CLEARING OUT A HUGE GANG OF NOVAKID OUTLAWS AND I LEAD HIM INTO A SPIKE TRAP ON ACCIDENT 

THAT WAS ONE OF THE LONGER

“NOoOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO”s IVE LET OUT IN STARBOUND

YALL I MUST AVENGE MY DOCTOR

HE’LL RESPAWN IN MY SHIP, BUT WE CANT JUST GO GET HIM BACK WE’VE GOTTEN THIS FAR >B,(

👀

Hey everybody! As decided in the dontneedadiscord server back at the beginning of December, I’m hosing a TF2 Valentines Week event. This Valentines Week will run from February 8th-14th, 2021 using the hashtag #dontneedavalentine2021. This is a celebration of love: Romantic, familial, and platonic! All ships* are welcome and OCs/Self Inserts are encouraged! 

SPECIAL THANKS TO: @fuckyeahscienceparty​, @squipdop​, @queen-anarchy-666​, and @allthepandasintheworld​ for their collective help with advice and spot art respectively. Thanks to the dontneedadiscord server as well for helping brainstorm prompt ideas!

More info below the cut!

Keep reading

I may or may not have had a bit too much fun with the fake twitter post generators

edit: removed the fake news one bc its an overused joke

Bonus spy:

Makin my way downtown

You know what time it is.

For that merc roadtrip post, I see Scoatcand Demo as the ones asking to stop every 20 min. Granted Demo almost has an excuse

Hah, certainly agree with that headcanon! Engineer ends up screaming out of frustration half way through because multiple times they both stopped them just to say they were kidding. 

Chapter 9 is out!

I misquoted in my heavy x medic post, it was chapter 9 that quoted not 8!! Either way, Ten’s a crowd has been updated!

Read it here!

I was reading through your work and its great!!! I can't wait to read more! Also while i was reading it i had a thought. Please imagine: spy trying to be a good teammate and carry one of his teammates to bed but he has the muscles of a stickbug and he's struggling so hard

Thank you so much!! That means the world to me haha.

ALSO YES I AGREE. Y’know how Engineer calls Scout “Stringbean”? Spy is a walking beanpole, its genetic.

Despite this, I’d say he’s perfectly capable of hauling around the unconscious or dead. After all, he’s a silent killer and a master of espionage. He uses his appearance to his advantage if he is found out since they’ll underestimate just how dangerous the Spy can be. 

HOWEVER!

Just because Spy can haul things around doesn’t mean he can do it in a manner that is comfortable to the person he’s holding. He just need to be quick to get away. So uh, sleepy merc on the couch, someone like Engie?

Spy is gonna need some help, but from who? Maybe Demo, but he called the lad a drunken wretch earlier that day during battle, so that was a no go. Soldier? Too loud. Scout? Absolutely not. Heavy? No, no. Heavy might wake them up. Certainly not Pyro, and Sniper is out in his van.

Through process of elimination, he begrudgingly has to ask Medic for assistance. Safe to say he’s not happy to have been brought out of an important experiment for something of such unimportance, but he certainly finds it amusing. He agrees to move the sleeping mercenary and in return Spy finally agrees to an annual “checkup” (aka having all of your organs rifled through).

He can be charitable.

Sometimes.

Someone give this man a hug (you’ll get backstabbed, make sure you’re hooked up to respawn first)

Edit: I SWEAR IT BEING ENGIE WAS NOT ON PURPOSE DIRECTLY BEING POSTED RIGHT AFTER YOU AND @pocketsniper IM SORRY

Fanart of a beautiful moment :)

(did the mercs ever change appearance save for the splits? if so i can fiX IT i just wasn’t sure)

@talk-to-the-mercs​ has a rlly good story goin on! Might put some posts I make here into context bc i reference it sometimes-

YOOOOO SNIPER welcome back mate! it's been a while, innit? we all missed you something terrible! how're you feeling?

Sniper: [giggling]

Engineer: Whatcha laughin’ about, Snipes?

Sniper: [laughing] Batman.

Engineer: That anesthetic is really hittin’ ya hard, huh?

Sniper: Nah, barely scratched me...I gave ‘im the ol’ one two...

Engineer: When’s this stuff gonna wear off?

Medic: A few hours to a day, depending on zhe pain and functionality of the heart.

Scout: Maybe we can tote him around like on Weekend at Bernie’s.

Demo: People’d talk. Besides, he doesn’t look dead, just drunk. Drunk out of his skull, sure, but still alive.

Scout: Eh, he looks more stoned. Actin’ stoned, too. Yo, Sniper, what’s two plus two?

Sniper: Water.

Scout: [snickering] Yeah, friggin’ high as a kite.

Engineer: Don’t mess with him, Scout, he’s been through enough.

Heavy: Heavy missed you, Sniper.

Sniper: [mumbling] A’course you missed me. I’m the best bloody shot this side of down under...

[END OF TRANSMISSION]

The mercs going on a road trip? 👀

Arguing over who gets the front seat: Heavy and scout. Heavy needs his space, Scout is childish and wants to be in the front, and Sniper is just standing there like “I’d also like the front seat please my legs dont fit” but nobody listens because he’s Sniper. Eventually the two compromise and Scout ends up in Heavy’s lap. 

Keep Scout occupied, otherwise he’ll start screaming wheels on the bus to annoy the others for the entire. ride. (Or at least until someone tapes his mouth shut, a common occurrence.)

Alternates include: Beer on the wall, tongue twisters, what’s new pussycat...

Crammed into the middle: Demoman, Pyro, Soldier. Pyro is in the very middle and is restless, eventually they fill up the other’s laps with toys and crayon drawings. Soldier is just happy his hand isn’t being cut off at the moment, and Demoman doesn’t mind as long as he has a bottle of scrumpy for the long ride ahead. 

Designated driver: Also Sniper, or Engineer (and on rare occasions miss Pauling herself). Engie can stand being in the back seat for long enough to brave the ride, but he’s still backseat driving from there, calling out directions and making sure nobody does anything dumb to get them pulled over.

Crammed into the back: Medic and Spy. Spy would rather not disclose what he saw during the road trip, but it’s safe to say there was a lot of suspicious, muffled yelling from the body bags he just had to bring along.

Quick Medic HCS

Inspired by a string of doveposts from medicsmenageries;

Ludwig names all of his doves.

The mercs have tried, and failed, to count how many he owns. 

Not even Heavy knows, and he’s the only one allowed to pet the birds.

As mentioned in a previous post, this man can disney-princess style call his babies to his very whim, it’s not unusual to think they bring him his coat in the mornings while he makes coffee.

He just really loves his doves okay? 

OKAY, so I was a bit antsy about posting this but hopefully I got the tw tags right? If there’s anything else I need to / can do to prevent this from reaching people sensitive to blood or gore let me know!!

It’s just a bit of medic fanart, but I’m still getting used to this site so I don’t know how much forewarning is needed.

Oh btw! Someone sent in an ask so hopefully I’ll have some headcanons out soon. Heads up though, school is on weekdays obv and that’s when I usually write chapters for tens a crowd, so I don’t know if posts will be as common during those times!

Click the link. This is a threat.

You guys just have to trust me on this one and click here okay?

I GASPED WHOEVER SET THIS UP IS LEGENDARY

awwwwwww 

How would the mercs react if they got sick? Nothing serious, just, like, a cold or something.

Demoman:

Likely pretty honest about it. Medic spooks him at times, but he trusts the doctor to at least give him some semblance of a “good” idea on what to do if he gets sick.

Though before he does anything, he likely tries to work through it himself. His ma taught him how to care for himself, so he mostly just needs help setting it all up.

If he gets cold medicine, you have to have a guard on him at all times, because he can and will try to drink, even if he knows they absolutely do not mix.

Engineer:

Assures everyone he’s doing fine. Being the voice of reason and the team mom, he’s sure he’ll work it out on his own and mostly just self-isolate until it’s over.

It’s only until he’s hollering encouragement to Scout on the battlefield that he breaks into a coughing fit, and things go south.

Surprisingly, Scout is the one who ends up volunteering to take care of Engineer. The whiplash it gives the rest of the team is palpable. 

He tries his best to make the soup that Engie always brings the others, not very well, but he makes a genuine attempt.

Eventually he has to ask for help from spy, this dude sacrifices his own ego to help someone and Medic is about ready to check if scout himself is feverish-

Each member of the team eventually gets involved to chip in and help out, and Engie gets better quicker than any of the others. Scout denies that he did anything, but the sentiment stays.

Heavy:

Like Engineer, Heavy assumes he can get away with just shrugging it off and braving through it. He has bigger worries.

Unfortunately, with Medic’s constant doting, it catches on pretty quick that he’s sick, and he gets the angry talk about how he’s contagious and should have told the doctor.

Heavy disappears for a day to Medic’s office, nobody is entirely sure what happened, but he comes back smiling and feeling better, so they don’t question it.

(Medic may or may not have just replaced his lungs entirely)

Medic:

Ludwig here knows full well that he’s sick. He’s the “Do as I say, not as I do” kind of guy that advises the others to come to him when they’re feeling unwell, and then proceeds to cough on others.

Who’s to say he doesn’t do it on purpose? He uses it to his advantage. Someone ticks him off? Cough on them, deal with the consequences later. 

Colds make him sleepier than usual, he’ll be slumped over the main room table with a coffee and looking like death itself, then come back the next day looking spry as ever.

(He may or may not have also just replaced his lungs entirely)

Pyro:

Pyro is a drama queen when they’re sick, because it means they get to cuddle up with their toys and the other mercs and have attention. You’d think that Scout would be the one to do this, but nope, it’s Pyro.

Engie is in their room 24/7 making sure they have hot soup, plenty of things to do, puzzles to solve, the others are almost envious.

Pyro is sad when the extra attention ends, but Engineer assures them that they can visit his workshop whenever.

Scout:

Scout, on the other hand, will come to the respawn room, eyes streaming, nose stuffy, and say to your face “I’m fine, shut up.”

He doesn’t want the others to think he’s weak or think less of him because he managed to get sick, so he tries to hide it from the others until it ends up worse thanks to his attempts to push it away.

Sniper is tasked with bringing him soup and medicine, and Scout refuses to take any of it unless the door is closed and nobody can see him do it. The only reason Sniper gets to even do it is because he doesn’t talk all too much and keeps secrets to himself.

Stubborn.

Sniper:

Nobody really notices he’s sick since his eyes are covered in aviators and his hat shadows his face. Not to mention Snipes tends to blend in with the background, something that can be to his advantage.

Not now, because he’s too shy to really ask anyone for help.

Ends up having a coughing fit and completely missing his targets one day on the field. BLU spy, who was just getting ready to backstab him is just watching like “yo wtf”

He uh, doesn’t want to get sick either, so he just creeps away and alerts the medic before he backstabs them.

Soldier:

Nobody knows how he manages it, but any time he catches a cold, he’ll disappear for a day, and come back good as new.

In reality, he goes and screams at the sickness until it cowers in fear and runs away, then walks back.

Seriously, how does he do it?

Spy:

Not one to really ask for help, Spy mostly takes care of himself. Having been with Scout’s ma meant he has decent experience with caring for the sick, not to mention his constant ventures to other countries. 

Begrudgingly visits Medic to get some cold medicine, and ends up having to knock him out so that he wouldn’t get his lungs replaced.

Never again. He’ll just stick to laying in bed and drinking water.

Thanks for the ask on @talk-to-the-mercs ! Pyro has a question for you...can you guess his favorite Disney movie?

“From... From the research I-I’ve done, maybe... Something like- um, Peter Pan? Oh! Or- or Alice in Wonderland! I-I think that’s the name of... That movie. Um, please... Don’t tell anybody I sent this letter. EQUINOX OFFICE 165 - SECRETARY ELWYNE - TOP PRIORITY MESSAGE