Squirrel Looking For His NEXT NUT TO CRACK??!

Squirrel looking for his NEXT NUT TO CRACK??!

The Annuls of Jimmy Novak, Volume II

By @afanofmanystuffs and @sparklingcas

Tags: Castiel x Reader, Jimmy Novak x Reader, Crack, afanofmanystuffs’ Christmas Special, technically dub-con if you squint, co-written by sparklingcas and afanofmanystuffs, highly NSFW

A/N: So, uh, I think Katie is gonna go ahead and get nagged into posting Volume I, which is something of a drabble she created on a too warm September day. As of 12-21-17, there is a plot for The Annuls of Castiel. No idea if/when it will be written and published. I kind of took off with this a few weeks ago.

I took the liberty of tagging Katie’s NSFW Everything tags. She wrote the first part of that, which is divided with ~. I wrote the rest, which has – as page dividers.

Merry Christmas, Happy Hanukkah, or whatever you celebrate- I hope everyone gets a laugh out of this.

Jimmy Novak was a devout Christian man and a good husband and father on the outside.

He went to church and work, a perfectly productive member of society. He played his part, put food on the table, and read his daughter bed time stories like any good man would.

But deep down, and behind closed doors, only he and his wife knew the truth.

Jimmy Novak was a fuckboi™.

He had a heart like ice and a cock of steel, and could get any woman in bed with a wiggle of his ears. Some might think it’s strange, but you’d have to see it to believe it.

It wasn’t until he made a woman come from pure cervical stimulation and a menacing ejaculation that he realized that things needed to change.

On that one night, late, after he was sure his wife was in bed and her four inch vibrator had fresh batteries, he went out. And he wooed a woman with those ears of his, wiggling them at her as if he was a squirrel looking for its next nut to crack.

Not only had this woman been seduced to the max, but from the very first touch of his steel cock against her moist flaps, she knew that her life was over.

Or, life as she knew it anyway.

Keep reading

More Posts from Thatwaywardwitch and Others

thatwaywardwitch

7 years ago

My boyfriend signed up for an Economics class last semester that had a professor who was described by other students on Rate My Professors as “a little offensive but still funny” and “you will still learn if you do the work and attend his workshops.” On the first day of class, he pointed to an Asian girl next to him.

“Are you Chinese?” he asked.

She looked bewildered and said, “Yes…?”

“How do you feel about the One Child Policy?”

The entire class went silent.

She glared at him, “I’m American.”

He shrugged it off, “Yeah, but you’re Chinese. So how do you feel about being the only child in your family?”

When I peruse through class lists, one of the very first things I want to know is whether or not I will be in a safe environment with a professor who cares about their students. Rate My Professors is the most commonly used tool for students to decide whether or not a professor is right for their learning style. It’s a tool for students created by students. But when such tools actively work against students who want to give proper warning about professors, what does that tell you? Does RMP care about student safety? Or is it doing everything in its power to protect corrupt educators? Should students compile a list of corrupt professors to combat RMP’s new policy if they don’t reverse this rule?

The Chinese woman and the rest of the students had to endure a semester filled with violent racist, sexist, and classist rhetoric (he later humiliated a student for 15 minutes for having an old Ford—what he described as a “loser car”) with a professor who only taught outside of class hours instead of during class hours. There are many more stories like this one because students pay for a class they weren’t expecting.

Because students can’t say “racist and sexist”, people have opted for “problematic” with examples as well as synonyms. You can contact them here to ask them to change their policy.

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thatwaywardwitch

7 years ago

“I learn a good deal by merely observing you, And letting you talk as long as you please, And taking note of what you do not say.” - T.S. Eliot

via @quotemadness

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thatwaywardwitch

7 years ago

Maybe Dean saw some Shah Rukh movie lol

SPN Parallels: Dean + That Super Hot Sliding Thing He Does

SPN Parallels: Dean + that super hot sliding thing he does

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thatwaywardwitch

3 years ago

"When you're born in a burning home, you believe the world is on fire. But it isn't."

I try to run from the fire yet the world feels cruelly calm now, there are no singes on my arms, no blisters on my palm and it feels eerie; like it doesn't belong to me. Almost as if I dont deserve the careful caress of the cool wind. The noise that is not the sizzle of melting flesh is not meant for me.

The world is not on fire and my mind will never escape the unrelenting desire to run back and, bury my charred corpse in the home that burnt my sanity away.

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thatwaywardwitch

7 years ago

Reblog if you respect fanfiction writers and believe a fandom would be nothing without them.

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thatwaywardwitch

3 years ago

having to pretend like nothing has happened because they've not yet realised they dont love you anymore??????? just flay me alive instead.

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thatwaywardwitch

4 years ago