That One Couple You Know That Makes Fighting Part Of Their Daily Routine

Spoilers under the cutoff because there is no way I'm jumpscaring ya'll with the biggest gut-punch in the game. Also I'm pretty sure it'd be taller than me if printed out so bare with me!

I'm going to be talking about a very important section in Case 5-5: Turnabout for Tomorrow...

...because good god almighty, can we talk about how GOOD Simon's Mood Matrix segment is?!

Pretense: Facing Your Fears

Let's set the stage for Simon and Athena before we build to what I want to talk about. Context is important and in this case it helps make the following revelations that much more effective.

Both characters at this point have gone through hell and high water to save the other from a dreadful fate; Simon enduring 7 years on death-row to protect Athena from punishment for Metis' death, Athena studying law in spite of her intense fear and trauma to undo the damage done by his false confession. By the time we get here we've seen how deeply Athena is affected by her trauma. We've seen how far Simon is willing to go in the name of protecting Athena, going so far as to disregard his own sister's concern for his safety.

By the time of Turnabout for Tomorrow's trial, they have practically been pushed to their breaking points; Athena is indicted for Clay's murder and is confronted with the idea that she herself is responsible for the death of her mother - her memories of UR-1 resurfacing and being pushed back at the same time as the worst-case scenario becomes apparent. Simon's efforts to save Athena from this punishment have been rendered practically useless with her incarceration, the phantom slipping from his grasp, the guilt Athena would bear being the only thing he stands to protect her from.

At the end of Phoenix and Edgeworth's initial skirmish and seeming Guilty verdict, Simon steps in with one last effort to protect Athena's innocence in this matter. Even though she's set to be convicted for Clay's murder, this carries a lot more weight if ever she realised what he saw that day would prove her guilty of killing Metis Cykes.

Athena - despite a practical mental breakdown earlier that day - pushes herself to stand at the Defense's bench to achieve what she has been working towards from the day Phoenix inspired her to persue this career. She's very much still afraid, still rattled by the accusation Aura had made, stating that she wants to run out of the courtroom as she speaks. Despite this she pushes herself to stand there and ask Simon for the chance to face her worst fears - that of the UR-1 trial and the horrible idea that she could be guilty herself - by letting her reveal his true emotions.

Simon accepts, confident that his prowess in psychology can deflect her efforts, though nevertheless wary of the emotions he has kept under wraps for 7 years. Athena (& Phoenix I guess...) slowly dismantle his testimony in full-knowledge that he is lying for a reason - one that could potentially destroy her if proven true. Both of them are staring down the worst-case scenario for each other and trying desperately to keep the other away from that event.

Let's go over that testimony then, shall we? I'll go through it section by section.

Part 1: The False Confession

Simon's lie relies on people seeing him as a heartless killer. We see him build and reinforce that image in his trials, acting as beligerently and violently as he can muster without causing any real damage. By this point he's already slashed at & sicked his bird on just about everyone who's ever stood in court, save for Bobby Fulbright. He's had to be shocked by him just to stop.

Suffice to say it was pretty effective since it took a hostage situation to convince officials to give UR-1 a re-trial (even after the HAT-2 bombing implied that the crimes that day were purpetrated by another party).

To this end, he brought out every trick in the book to keep his true memories on the event at bay from prying eyes; his closed-off nature, his mastery of psychology, his training with blade and hawk alike, his time in prison exposed to the worst humanity had to offer. All of these were ample tools in ensuring that his image is not broken.

His anger and joy regarding his false murder are almost complete lies. At best, he's enraged that such a thing happened at all and glad that his scheme had worked to protect Athena. The phantom later on demonstrates that people can indeed fake their emotions, though some genuine feeling will slip through the cracks if you try.

Enter Athena. Not only does she have a keen ear for one's tone, she has studied psychology and put her mind towards applying her talent to the coutroom. Her Mood Matrix program makes what she hears apparent to even the least informed person and she's already cracked a good number of testimonies with this power (well, two in 5-3 since Apollo and Phoenix did all the others, though they couldn't have without her explaining things).

For most people, Simon's anger would overshadow the relief he felt when he found Athena in the laboratory. Just enough to keep his lie sound for the untrained ear. That same relief for Athena's safety is weaponised in the next two lines as he talks about how cathartic the act was, cementing his intentions to others.

His relief at Athena's safety did need some explaination - leaning on people's poor perceptions of Metis to help his story along - though aside from that? This testimony is practically impenetrable with only one easily explained oddity that only Athena could have ever picked up on.

As I said however, one's true emotions can't help but leak out. Even the best liars like Simon and the phantom can't help that.

Part 2: A Ronin's Remorse

Only two statements change at this point so those are the only ones I'll show here.

One, he's dropped the anger in the second line to focus on his relief. Before he only mentioned that he found her instead of Metis, using his anger to mask his thoughts as frustration that he had to wait for his plans to go through.

Two, his joy is replaced with intense sadness towards the act of plunging the katana into Metis. There's no mention of catharsis here; only describing what had happened to her. To that, he would feel a great sadness.

Naturally he would grieve Metis, though that would not track with his prior satisfaction with the act. So he leaned on Athena again to explain his emotions, and that does explain things rather cleanly.

Note that this is the only time his Noise Level drops, too. It goes from 100% to 40% here - it's the closest he's willing to get to how he truly felt about the event without giving the game away. Any closer and he would start revealing emotions that do not match his words in the slightest.

Part 3: Brief Shock

His noise level rises to 60% here, so the emotions displayed are less accurate to how he truly felt. Although his tale of grand homicide has shifted somewhat...

Now, his concern at the beginning wasn't killing Dr Cykes to rescue Athena; he entered the room because he heard that Athena was upset in the other room while looking for her in the Psychology Lab.

How true it is that Athena was crying at that moment is debatable given future revelations, though nothing's contradictary about this section. Perhaps at this point she hadn't thought to put Metis on the repair table having only just woken up, reacting much like any child would at the sight of her mother's body before the idea crossed her mind. We do have an hour's gap between Metis' death and Simon leaving the lab, after all.

In any case, Simon's relief has turned to shock in the moment he finds Athena in the Robotics Lab. Any mention of Athena at this stage is long gone - he only talks about his hurry to the Robotics Lab. It isn't clear what he would be so shocked by at this stage. Most anyone would know, not much was out of the ordinary when he walked into the room.

Look at how he hesitates before arriving at this explaination. His words are a lot shakier than they were for prior testimony, the excuse he gives a blatant lie to cover his tracks. The noise level goes up again with this as well, from 60% to a full 100%; Simon has completely obscured the events he witnessed once again.

This was the closest Athena and Phoenix got to poking at what he really saw in the lab and it clearly rattled him. Before, his reasoning was sound. Now, we're left wondering what he actually saw in there to result in that much shock...

Part 4: The Blade of Evidence

Unfortunately, this is where the Mood Matrix becomes useless. Simon has explained his contradictory emotions deftly up to this point; his relief at Athena's wellbeing, his grief at the loss of Metis Cykes, his surprise upon entering the lab. In stark contrast to a good few people subjected to Athena's therapy, Simon is the only one in the game that completely evades her attack. He knows how she operates & is well-versed in analytical psychology himself which shows in just how reasonable his explainations are up to this point.

But stacking lies upon lies only gets you so far until it begins to contradict the one thing he can't re-interpret; evidence.

This is the only time he takes damage during his entire time on the stand. When his words no longer match what is physically verifiable, there is no recourse - his psychological prowess cannot disprove cold, hard facts. Just as Athena's abilities cannot be used as hard proof, rather requiring proof in and of itself (usually in the form of a confession from the witness).

Simon can no longer lie about what it is he saw in the lab that day. There are no avenues through which he can explain his shock and by now Athena & Phoenix have dug through his thoughts quite extensively. With that decisive cut they've managed to open Simon to one last attack...

...saldy, by opening one of his deepest, most painful wounds.

Part 5: That Terrible Scene

By this point it's clear everyone is getting much more than they bargained for. Simon's shock was only the tip of the iceberg; a raging storm of emotions had been hidden from earshot for 7 long years, far away from even Athena's keen ears.

The fact she's surprised that Simon has been carrying this for so long shows just how early he's managed to keep this under a lid, that he's had to hide it from young Athena as well (who's hearing was much more sensitive than now).

Athena herself has managed to endure the sound of people's hearts this entire time, in stark contrast to when being around people too long made her dizzy to the point of needing headphones. We've only seen two emotions at most go overboard at once with Marlon Rimes and she managed just fine with that noise - the grief and anger associated with the loss of his lover Azura Summers (at that point her empathy is the only thing that really shows). Simon is different. He feels everything all at once with such intensity that it pains Athena to hear for the first time since her debut. It changes the Mood Matrix screen we see here to purple for the first time that wasn't her demonstrating something to her co-workers (see Yuri Cosmos' MM sequence). Beyond volume and intensity of emotion, the fact that the person she cared so much for as to practice law to save from death row is experiencing so much mental anguish himself is distressing. Something terrible happened that day. It shook the ever-stoic Simon into a state not seen in even the most wild witness so far. He's hidden it for Athena's sake this entire time, but... why?

He's intentionally vague about it this time, compared to his more detailed accounts of the events. "That terrible scene!" leaves a lot to the imagination and nothing that comes to mind is comforting.

We all know why Athena's the defendant in this trial; Aura thinks she killed Metis Cykes that day. Edgeworth supports her theory through evidence that even Phoenix can't counter up to this point. Simon intervened in order to stop their efforts to indict her by lying about what happened that day.

Lying about... what, exactly, is the most concerning question. At this point the only two plausible explainations are that either Simon or Athena had done it. Savvier players might remember that Clonco stops by for a recharge at 2PM, same time as the crime, though Simon and Athena left the room at 3PM. There's a SMALL chance that what he saw could contradict what's been posited so far, though chances aren't looking great.

Also note that his line "I had no choice but to kill my mentor!" has gotten shorter. No mention of not wanting to hand Athena over. Just declaring in sheer hysteria that he did it and had no choice but to do it.

Simon is in a panic. Athena is reeling from her old friend's inner turmoil. No one is quite sure if what's about to be revealed will be in their favour.

He's very obviously concerned with Athena first and foremost; this entire act goes against even his own sister's wants, after all. That's where the centre of his most complex emotions lie.

And what do we find at the eye of the storm?

Part 6: Fixing Her Mother

Dr Cykes was already dead. Athena stood before her body on the repair table, bloody katana not too far away from her. She's covered in blood and no doubt in shock, but otherwise safe and sound.

Then Simon drops the bombshell; Athena looked at him with this look on her face and told him the following:

So.

Allow me to impart how gut-wrenching this entire sequence is.

On its own, it's already dark as dark can be. A smiling, dead-eyed little girl covered in blood is a sight to shake the hardiest to their core (the suspension of disbelief not withstanding - this is a cartoon depiction). I'm not the biggest fan of how Dual Destinies tends to jump between 3D and 2D anime but it can work. And boy does this work.

In context, this is Athena looking at Simon when he finds her mother Metis dead on the repair table. There's a bloody katana right by her and a stab wound on Metis. Athena has her mothers blood on her. She's smiling. Completely detatched from what is going on around her while looking Simon dead in the eye, telling him that she's about to take her mother apart to "fix" her.

Simon is in a whirlwind of emotions over this; grief at his mentor's death and for Athena's loss, relief that she's alive and well, furious that Metis had been murdered, and shocked that not only that this happened, not only that it seemingly happened because of her daughter... but that she's smiling as she's telling him the most horrific thing he could hear after seeing all of this.

Although. Simon isn't the only one Athena is looking at in this image.

She's also looking at herself. Her older self, the one that's just been told she killed her mother and how she intended to "fix" the situation.

Athena has not processed what happened that day by this point - her memories are still tucked away behind 5 Black Psyche Locks as a truth even she isn't aware of. Some parts of that memory come back to her here; the memory of stabbing someone with a blade, telling Simon she's going to "fix" Metis... but nothing more. The phantom is still hidden away from view. So the only logical conclusion she can come to at this point is that she did kill her mother that day.

She processes all of that while looking at herself, dead in the eye, covered in her mother's blood and smiling as if nothing's wrong.

She's looking back at the most innocent form of herself during the single worst event in her life. And she's smiling back at her.

Even better, she's looking at YOU. The player. Taking all of these dreadful things in while you and Athena are forced to witness something that shook SIMON SODDING BLACKQUILL to his core, before Athena finally breaks and screams in a combination of denial and anguish that her worst fear had come to light.

It's only worse when Simon explains that Metis Cykes truly did love Athena. Everything that she had done - especially the headphones Athena hated oh so much - was done to help her lead a normal life in spite of her condition. Simon, being well attuned to the needs and motivations of others, picked up on this and saw the Cykes for more than what they appeared. He did not want to believe that Athena would so callously kill her mother and rip her apart on her own machine. Without any evidence to prove the contrary, he took the fall to save her from guilt he saw as unjust. It had to be some kind of mistake... right?

Athena, on top of reliving UR-1 under the worst possible context, is practically frozen in her shivering pose the entire time. Without any evidence to the contrary, she has no reason to believe it wasn't her. Her faith in herself has completely shattered at this point. She was brave in wanting to confront the truth Simon had hidden all these years - especially after what Aura said while she was in the Detention Centre. Unfortunately it only revealed the worst for both characters; Simon's drive to protect Metis' daughter had been for naught, and Athena now has to live with the knowledge that in the abscence of decisive evidence, she had set every terrible thing that happened to the her, Simon, and Aura in motion 7 years ago.

I could nark about Phoenix's involvement here. How he steals much of Athena's thunder and how she would have been more fitting to point out the flaws in Simon's testimony, perhaps even showing some growth as a standard evidence-presenting lawyer through disproving the Ponco explaination. I do wish he was written and utilised better, though I completely understand why Athena specifically is out of commission for this part of the re-trial, especially immediately after Aura and Simon's revelations about her part in UR-1.

The trauma Athena experienced has a significant affect on her throughout DD and she's shown that enough pressure being built on her is enough to shut her down completely. UR-1 itself is horrific enough to warrent such a total shutdown in the times it occurs - specifically in regards to not being able to save a friend from a false conviction. The game does a good job in building up to and justifying her reactions. Having her truck on in spite of this is very much in the Athena spirit but there's a clear breaking point; going past that would reduce the impact significantly.

I do still think it would have been more effective for her to pick apart Simon's testimony though. You can't have your faux-protagonist make a big hoo-ha about being given a chance and then hand the steering-wheel to the guy who only learned of Simon's situation THAT SAME DAY-

Ahem. Sorry about that.

My gripes aside, this is a very effective and powerful sequence that makes the triumph later on all the more impactful. This struggle between two people trying to save the other, briefly falling into the darkest moment of both their lives, then somehow coming back from it is the main reason I cried over Simon thanking Athena while she finally let loose those tears of joy.

Dual Destinies can be amazing when it isn't being stupid, you know?

In Defense of the Misunderstood Hero, Mori Ougai

I’m sure many would raise eyebrows when they read the title because, Mori? A hero?

Many people portrayed Mori as a sadistic devil, but in no canon situation has Mori ever shown any sadistic tendency (like Dazai has). In fact, I’d say he’s the reverse of that. He took care of Elise very well, despite/even though she’s his own ability. He never once has hurt people for the sake of hurting people.

In fact whenever he didn’t have any business to take care of, his true personality shone through and it was not of a cold, heartless man with no conscience. Rather it was one full of dorkiness and gentle patience. Here, he even contacted Ango (who was sweating bullet because holy shit he’s being called by the fucking boss of Port Mafia) just to ask what color of dress will fit Elise more.

(For the love of anything holy I’ve scoured Ango and Oda’s tag in tumblr yet I can’t find it. It’s the extra DVD comic featuring Buraiha trio drinking and talking shit about Mori. In exchange, have these dorky dad and son interacting;

First thing first, I will give you what I think is the most important fact about Mori. Look at his line in this scene

Now this is his true nature; his main motivation for doing everything he did. The good of the organization.

At no point has Mori’s action ever benefit only himself. At every instance he appeared in the story, he’s doing something for the Mafia and for Yokohama. The only self-centered thing he has ever done was asking Elise to wear what he wanted her to wear and that’s moot point anyway since she’s his Ability and presumably modeled after his ‘ideal’ little girl.

In this scene, he saved four members of ADA and even gave Atsushi an important lesson. Why would he do such a thing when he could literally immobilize Anne and Lucy by bloodlust alone? He could have let her take Tanizaki and Atsushi, then pressure her to let him out with his memory intact. Not to mention that his Ability, Elise, was waiting just outside, standing by ready to break him out any time.

If he does this, not only he will go free with the memory of the attack and thus the secret of Anne’s Room, he would also take care of not one but three ADA agents. Rather, he chose to save all of them plus every single person Anne has swallowed in the Dark Room.

Now here;

This is the scene where he took over as boss. The fact that the Old Boss was bedridden and hallucinating while seemingly so thin, also from the way he was narrated by Hirostu in episode 21, implicate that his condition was something he contracted at a long period of time rather than it being something sudden.

Notice the circumstance in which he did it. Mori only killed the boss after he issued the order that would bring destruction not only to the Mafia but also to the city and nation at large, killing many people whether criminal or innocent. He didn’t do it before even though he could have.

By becoming the biggest bad of the bad, he resolved himself to take care of the light from the shadows. And this is important because if he hadn’t stepped in at that time either the Old Boss would have burnt Yokohama down or another heinous criminal would have taken over and brings the nation down with them.

He is protecting Yokohama by not letting people worse than him to take control of its biggest criminal organization. Notice what Kouyou think about him;

She supported him because of this too. She knew what it felt like to under one of those leaders that cared only for money and power like the Old Boss. Kouyou will not support people if all they brought with them was suffering and death the way she was forced to feel when her dearest was taken away from her. Under Mori’s reign, our queen Kouyou pledge her loyalty not to him but the kinder way he brought.

It can also be seen in this scene.

Mori could have taken effort to keep Kouyou there, but his tone and body language are open. He knew that Kouyou can go anytime and he’s not fighting to keep her there; Kouyou decided to stay on her own free will and he is appreciative of knowing he had a single ally he can absolutely trust on who also knew of his true motivation.

In this scene

It was made clear that he respect the Old Boss, so much that the death of a hundred subordinate made him embarrassed.  He’s not upset that he lost some underlings, he’s upset that he lost them without a good reason to justify their death. A miscalculation has taken a hundred of his soldiers.

And you might think his reaction to this is rather cold, but remember that all of them were members of the mafia. All of them are criminals who would be executed if they fall into the hands of the police and they also knew what they’re getting into when they joined the Organization.

You can probably say what he did to Odasaku was horrible, sure. But it was expected for the boss of the Mafia to do so. (further reading for this topic)

But you have to admit it was a stroke of utter genius. With the gifted Business Permit and no longer fearing the government, Mori would be freer to take down opposing criminal organization that might bother the peace. Rather, he focused the Mafia to expanding its power and outwardly he did so, like this there will be very little chance for either a rebellion or an enemy organization attacking them in their HQ. This would also mean less threat to Yokohama.

Fukuzawa’s remark in this was absolutely true. Not only between the two organization but also for him and Mori specifically. Mori loved Yokohama, enough to dip into the darkest of dark to protect it. And Fukuzawa knew it too because look at his line here

In this, it can be said that he didn’t want a war to break in Yokohama that might disturb its peace. But then why say ‘balance’?

This is because Fukuzawa knew the extent of his subordinate’s strength also that they will be able to kill Mori if they go all out. This is what he feared the most. While if he died, the Agency can be well-taken care of in Kunikida’s hand, once Mori’s dead there’s no one to reign in the Port Mafia and keep it from wreaking havoc, thus destroying the balance of Yokohama city into what it was before; the Dragon Head Rush. (you might want to read the novel of dark era to really grasp the situation. But basically it was a gang war that led to many victims including the families of Odasaku’s orphans)

More than that, the people who might succeed Mori would not be as kind as him. They might do what the Old Boss did and try to burn Yokohama down.

And this, I think, is also the main reason why Mori sent Dazai away from the Mafia. It is, of course, easy to assume what Dazai remarked about Mori’s intention in chapter 30/episode 21 to be the truth; that he did it to remove a threat to his position.

But is this the whole story?

The fact that he kept Dazai’s spot empty rather than choosing someone else to fill it was a paradox if you were to look at him from the angle of a man hungry for power. He has anticipated Dazai’s return, was so sure of it in fact that he sacrificed monetary and workload gains of having another Executive. If he wanted Dazai back in the first place, then why drive him out of the Mafia and into the ADA?

For now, imagine what would have happened if Dazai took over as the Boss if he’s still the same man he was before Oda’s death. Cruel, ruthless and uncaring for people’s life as he was, he would have gone into the same track as the Old Boss and destroys Yokohama as his mental health eroded. Not even Odasaku would be able to save him from himself at this point.

This is also why he asked Dazai back to the Mafia after taking such extreme methods to drive him out. Of course there are another reason, that is he needed his right hand back to drive out the Guild as he remarked.

But the main reason why he asked back after all this time was because there are people in ADA who have taught him about having something worth loving and worth protecting.

Mori felt that Dazai has learnt enough about the light and why it is something worth protecting. With it, when Dazai inevitably take his seat as the Boss of Port Mafia, Dazai would be able to follow his legacy as the Darth Vader of Bungou Stray Dogs and The Dark Knight of Yokohama. This is Mori’s special way of grooming Dazai to become his successor.

All this was so Dazai can be his successor and not the Old Boss’.

Conclusion for those who are too lazy to read 2000+ words of Mori being awesome: no, Mori is not an evil incarnate born to manipulate everyone to his own amusement.

If anything, he’s the greatest hero of the story. The same way the ADA is protecting the city and Japan from the light, Mori is protecting it from the shadows. With the balance that has been made between him and Fukuzawa, it is imperative that he keep doing what he did, or the balance will fall and Yokohama condemned into a lake of fire.

Asagiri Kafka is truly an exceptional writer. They made Mori into this all-bad boss of the Mafia while slipping in his real face every so often. Here is the author who made every character complex and with their own motivation. What made you think they’ll make the ‘villain’ as simple as a man existing just to be a villain?

Even Fitzgerald and Fyodor got development and reasoning for doing what they did, but the difference is they’re arc-villain and not whole story-villain like Mori. Their reign will be over with their arc, but Mori’s will live as long as BSD continues, so it’s imperative that they got their development and exposition early on so the readers can sympathize with them.

Thus I concluded my exposition of the anti-hero that has been protecting Yokohama all this time not by bathing in sunlight but by submerging himself in blood yet capable of keeping his head out of it depth; Mori Ougai.

AA siblings week day six:

opposites

HOW HAVE I NOT SEEN THIS BEFORE HOLY SHIT WHAT AN INCREDIBLE SNAPE ANALYSIS

Let me get this straight:

Severus Snape, who's probably one of the most fleshed out characters in the franchise is reduced to an obsessive friendzoned stalker but Regulus Black, who's a literal one note character is given depth and personality??

Am I tripping on acid or something??

Comic expressing some of my Kirby universe headcanons (Part 1)

yes i did in fact start this while the trend was still new and relevant so fuck off LOL

Just remembered that instead of going to bed at a reasonable hour last night I made a tier list ranking every male pokemon npc based on how divorced I think they are. This is a catastrophic discourse waiting to happen

A complex and many-layered thing

But Harry’s anger at Snape continued to pound through his veins like venom. Let go of his anger? He could as easily detach his legs. . . .

This is the first Occlumency lesson. Harry is right, of course. Feelings don’t go away because you want them to. To let go of them when they’ve not been addressed or validated can be as hard as detaching a leg. And yet, it’s what Dumbledore asked Snape to do, and it’s what Snape had to do to survive the first war as Dumbledore’s spy. You have to ask yourself… how?

Trapped animals chew off their own legs to escape. It’s a sacrifice they make to survive.

If there’s one thing in a fic that turns me off it, it’s the idea that Occlumency shields are a thing, that Severus was so gifted at it because he’s got some power like Second Sight or being a metamorphagus. I always preferred to think of Occlumency and Legilimency as skills that can be learned, even if some have more aptitude for it than others.

Severus entered Hogwarts with the kind of life experience that primed him for developing these skills, and left it with even more. Occlumency is magical dissociation, a post-traumatic coping mechanism, and Severus has C/PTSD. More under the cut; tw: just general angst.

To survive, he would have had to develop a knack for telling how explosive and unpredictable people feel. Over his life, he faced at least two egregious examples of what Pete Walker, author of “Complex PTSD” calls “the Charming Bully”.

Especially devolved fight types can become sociopathic. Sociopathy can range along a continuum that stretches from corrupt politician to vicious criminal. A particularly nasty sociopath, who I call the charming bully, probably falls somewhere around the middle of this continuum. The charming bully behaves in a friendly manner some of the time. He can even occasionally listen and be helpful in small amounts, but he still uses his contempt to overpower and control others. This type typically relies on scapegoats for the dumping of his vitriol. These unfortunate scapegoats are typically weaker than him. […] He generally spares his favorites from this behavior, unless they get out of line. If the charming bully is charismatic enough, those close to him will often fail to register the unconscionable meanness of his scapegoating. The bully’s favorites often slip into denial, relieved that they are not the target. Especially charismatic bullies may even be admired and seen as great.

These would be James Potter and Tom Riddle, who are distantly related, I might add. Harry inherited the tendency to default to the fight response, but since he grew up the scapegoat and not the golden child, he never becomes quite as appalling, and after all, a fight response is normal when they are after you. Even so, Harry, who has both James and Voldemort inside him, triggers Severus to no end. It’s not a coincidence that the memories Harry sees when he is with him are largely horrible, and vice versa. There had to be happy or at least neutral or even boring moments, but these two detest each other, and they know they detest each other. Negative emotions and associated memories are so close to the surface they can’t be contained. This is the purpose of the Pensieve in this context - to contain the emotions. Since Severus knew what was in there when he pulled Harry out, my theory is that you don’t suddenly forget the memories you placed there, but rather you make them less fraught with emotions.

“Get up!” said Snape sharply. “Get up! You are not trying, you are making no effort, you are allowing me access to memories you fear, handing me weapons!”

Harry stood up again, his heart thumping wildly as though he had really just seen Cedric dead in the graveyard. Snape looked paler than usual, and angrier, though not nearly as angry as Harry was. “I — am — making — an — effort,” he said through clenched teeth.

“I told you to empty yourself of emotion!”

“Yeah? Well, I’m finding that hard at the moment,” Harry snarled.

“Then you will find yourself easy prey for the Dark Lord!” said Snape savagely. “Fools who wear their hearts proudly on their sleeves, who cannot control their emotions, who wallow in sad memories and allow themselves to be provoked this easily — weak people, in other words — they stand no chance against his powers! He will penetrate your mind with absurd ease, Potter!”

A lot to unpack here.

“Memories you fear,” “weapons”, “easy prey”.

Fearing your own memories, viewing your own lived experiences as weapons to be used against you, being easy prey… Severus could not be speaking louder of himself here. He is the one whose mind had been penetrated with absurd ease, he is the one who handed weapons to Voldemort, and he is the one who had to do the psychological equivalent of detaching his own leg – again and again – to survive.

I’ll argue that Severus developed a fawn response and a flight response, as fighting had never really worked out for him if it was possible at all. He had at least two more people I’d describe as bullies in his life, Tobias and Lucius.

Again from Pete Walker:

These [fawn] response patterns are so deeply set in the psyche, that as adults, many codependents automatically respond to threat like dogs, symbolically rolling over on their backs, wagging their tails, hoping for a little mercy and an occasional scrap. Webster’s second entry for fawn is: “to show friendliness by licking hands, wagging its tail, etc.: said of a dog.” I find it tragic that some codependents are as loyal as dogs to even the worst “masters”.

Remember what Sirius called him? Lucius’s lapdog. Bellatrix called him Dumbledore’s pet, Dumbledore said he dangles on Voldemort’s arm, the narrative compares Snape to a rabbit in SWM and Harry compares the Half Blood Prince to a beloved pet who had gone feral (yes, this does mean a lot to me on a personal level, yes my username is not a coincidence).

His unconscious fawn response might have been his undoing, drawn as he was to figures like Lucius and Voldemort. As an adult, I think he utilized the skills he had developed to survive in order to stitch these people up, and involuntary dissociation and fawning became Occlumency, which to me, is his signature magic. Harry needed only to banish Voldemort from his mind; Severus could not settle for this. He had to give Voldemort something, and knowing how to fawn meant knowing what to give him and how to draw himself in such a light that Voldemort would believe it. We see how he wanted to be seen by the Death Eaters: a self-serving coward who sought to hide behind Dumbledore’s apron, playing his pet. But that’s Pettigrew, not Snape. Imagine the self-immolation, the self-violation, it must have taken to convince everyone that you’re an ersatz Wormtail! Snape is a man and a prince, and the text recognizes this as Harry calls him, in the end, Dumbledore’s man, the bravest man, and as that chapter is called “The Prince’s Tale”. Voldemort thought Snape was nothing more than a “good and faithful servant,” and that his last words were “My Lord”.

But Severus had an unequaled gift for Occlumency, specifically against Voldemort, because Voldemort could not legilimens what he couldn’t feel; and he couldn’t feel love, grief, guilt, and remorse. This was Severus’s secret weapon, which would not have worked against Harry - who can feel these things, and who is also Lily’s son. I can prove it. The first time Harry gets the hang of Occlumency is after Dobby dies:

His scar burned, but he was master of the pain; he felt it, yet was apart from it. He had learned control at last, learned to shut his mind to Voldemort, the very thing Dumbledore had wanted him to learn from Snape. Just as Voldemort had not been able to possess Harry while Harry was consumed with grief for Sirius, so his thoughts could not penetrate Harry now, while he mourned Dobby. Grief, it seemed, drove Voldemort out . . . though Dumbledore, of course, would have said that it was love. . . .

Harry learned to dissociate, though fortunately in a healthier way than many of us ever get to.

Of course, Snape was a good and faithful servant… to Dumbledore, which brings us to the flight response. The chapter wherein he escapes after killing Dumbledore is called “Flight of the Prince”. He should be fighting, he had just proven that he can cast a killing curse, and yet he flees. He can literally fly, in fact: He, Lily, and Voldemort are the only ones we see pulling this off.

As a child, we see this too: He copes with his home situation by reminding himself “it won’t be long and I’ll be gone.” He is thrilled when he imagines Hogwarts, his escape; he follows Lily out of the carriage instead of confronting James and Sirius head-on (which might have saved them all a lot of pain eventually). But this doesn’t work out, we see that in terrifying detail. The next attempt at an escape is joining the Death Eaters, but this too doesn’t work out.

He can’t flee anymore.

“Severus, you cannot pretend this isn’t happening!” Karkaroff’s voice sounded anxious and hushed, as though keen not to be overheard. “It’s been getting clearer and clearer for months. I am becoming seriously concerned, I can’t deny it —”

“Then flee,” said Snape’s voice curtly. “Flee — I will make your excuses. I, however, am remaining at Hogwarts.”

Shortly thereafter:

“Severus,” said Dumbledore, turning to Snape, “you know what I must ask you to do. If you are ready . . . if you are prepared . . .”

“I am,” said Snape.

He looked slightly paler than usual, and his cold, black eyes glittered strangely.

He was ready, and he was prepared. He didn’t fly; he walked toward what might well have been his end with open eyes, armed only with the strength of his mind. Before Voldemort killed him, he looked pale, again, and terrified.

“I sought a third wand, Severus. The Elder Wand, the Wand of Destiny, the Deathstick. I took it from its previous master. I took it from the grave of Albus Dumbledore.”

And now Snape looked at Voldemort, and Snape’s face was like a death mask. It was marble white and so still that when he spoke, it was a shock to see that anyone lived behind the blank eyes.

I ask myself if this was the moment he realized he had been betrayed, that by giving Dumbledore a painless death he had secured his own. Maybe he wasn’t pale because he was scared; maybe he was pale because he was shocked. He was at his absolute limit, Occluding with all his might when he could have easily saved himself. The dam is about to break. All the memories he feared, all the weapons, the entire content of his heart is about to spill through - literally.

He fawned for Voldemort, the worst of all possible masters, but in the end, he was Voldemort’s undoing. All the ways in which he was weak and powerless against Tobias, James, Lucius, et al., proved to be part of goodness and source of his power. It doesn’t surprise me in the least that Snape is so loved. I’ve never actually seen such love for any other fictional character. He represents a kind of courage that many of us need to get by, lest we simply become evil or give the fuck up (“I wish I was dead”). A kind of courage rarely celebrated. The more time I’ve spent in the fandom in general and in the Snapedom in particular, the more I am convinced of this.

OMGGG I LOVE THIS ART SO MUCH I THINK ABOUT IT A LOT

GAVIN BROTHERS AND BLACKQUILL SIBLINGS LETS FUXKING GO

ace attorney + older siblings

very messy apollo justice sketches because i bought the trilogy on switch and am very much enjoying it again