I Think About Love Sometimes. About How It’s Taught And Seen And Felt.

Can't get over the prominence of the story of Abraham sacrificing Isaac in my childhood. Can't get over the prominence of the moral of God above family and friends in my childhood. That always tore me apart.

Wtf!!!!!!!

like there’s this whole thing in this book about how your brain grows stronger and healthier by practicing responding to stress in healthy ways,

because if a stressor is predictable and you feel a sense of control over it, you habituate and stop reacting to it,

but if it’s random and unpredictable you have the opposite response and become sensitized, so your reaction actually gets more and more extreme.

(if you hear a loud noise at predictable intervals you’ll soon stop noticing or reacting, but if you hear it at random intervals you’ll become sensitive to it and anxious.)

so one way to help people who have adverse reactions to reminders of trauma is to give them control over how they’re reminded of the trauma,

because it helps the brain practice responding to stress in a safe way so you can habituate to the stress response.

which is why if someone tags something for a trigger and you still choose to look,

it’s actually an act of healthy resistance against your reaction to that trigger (because it teaches your brain to habituate),

but encountering something triggering in a random and unpredictable way actually increases your stress response and makes you more sensitive to the trigger.

so people who are against trigger warnings because “you have to learn to cope” are actually taking away your tools for learning to cope,

because encountering stressors in a way that further strips you of control over your trauma is never, ever helpful.

it’s a lot of stuff i kind of knew but integrated and explained with more context and science

Now is the easiest time of year to start a new garden bed. All you have to do is lay down cardboard:

Top it with still some nitrogen rich compostable matter, in this case grass clippings:

Some carbon-rich matter, in this case old wood chips:

And keep layering until it's pretty thick:

And then walk away and ignore it until spring. All winter long, it'll be decomposing, while killing the grass and weeds underneath. By spring time, the soil underneath will be nice & loose and fertile, and you'll be able to plant straight into it.

(If you want to meet organic standards, then make sure any cardboard or paper is non-glossy and black & white. This was for someone else's flower bed, so the red ink isn't going to be an issue)

Okay but why does it feel like Hogwarts would be just around the corner?