I Would Love To Date You

You are a 10 in my book

I would marry you today if you would agree to this!

XXX CrossDresser

You are just that, and sexy!

Feelin cute

I love the new hairdo, it amazes me how you keep on improving on a already perfect woman! Stephen xoxo

My new hairdo!

There is nothing sexier, than a beautiful woman in authority, wearing powerful business attire, and sharing valuable lesson of worthy information. Kaydee, I thank you for being the woman you are. Your a beam of hope , and I thank you, Stephen, thedoctorin

This afternoon I’ll be doing a presentation for the Arizona Industrial Liaison Group’s 40th annual conference. I’ll be speaking to a hundred or so HR professionals from around Arizona about my work transition, and how companies and their employees can improve their etiquette with regards to transgender employees.

I’ve always enjoyed educating the cisgender population, and I’m very excited to have this chance. I’m well aware that I have quite a bit of “passing” and other privileges and I do my best to take full advantage of that. It lets me get closer to people - particularly the kinds of people that may be making decisions affecting the lives of trans people in various circumstances - so that when I tell my story, when I educate, they’re far more apt to listen, to absorb, and to shift their thinking in positive ways. It has always been my hope that every person I’m able to do this with will walk away from the experience with a whole new perspective on trans people, or at least the beginnings of one, and that they will be far kinder and more supportive to other less fortunate, less privileged trans people down the road. This is why I’m so very out when I really don’t have to be. It’s a choice I happily make, and I like to think I’m using it to do a lot of good, today’s presentation being a great example of this.

Anyways, this is the outfit I picked out… I wanted to convey a sense of confidence, power, authority, and beauty, all the tools I should need to capture their attention, and I think I’ve nailed that. I’ve also put together some really great content in a friendly format that should stuff those attentive minds with lots of valuable info! Wish me luck!

Kaydee <3

I would like to meet someone like you, and travel the journey together, being the supportive mate you.deserve! Thinking of you fondly, Stephen xoxo

9785) Ever since I realized I was trans, dating became even worse than it was when I was just considered a gay guy.

Now both gay and straight men alike think I’m gross and a freak. Which is really frustrating when I see all of my friends getting into relationships.

You look absolutely gorgeous!

New hairstyle #blonde #layeredhair #newhair #gotmyhairdid

But be ready for a most sensual ride!

You are my favorite hero, or should I say heroine! I hope I will find a woman like you to settle down with.

When you no longer recognize yourself.

As I sat down to make today’s TBT post, I decided I wanted to go back a bit further, so I randomly selected 2009 as the year to browse through.  With each month, so many memories came flooding back.

My daughter turned three that year and my son wasn’t even a year old.  How cute and adorable they were!  My daughter was such a trooper (this was the year she had to start her NG tube and later her G tube).  I was still married then, and we had taken our trip to San Diego that year and had seen and done so many great things.  I smiled as I came across photos of pets that I loved dearly but are no longer with us.  I found photos of the biggest and best Halloween party we had ever thrown… I had forgotten just how awesome the decorations had been.  There were so many faces of friends and family, some I still see, some I don’t, and some who have passed on.  There were hikes and adventures… soooo many memories, good and bad, were made that year.

But there was something wrong - something off - about all of it.  In all of these photos I was missing, replaced by an impostor.  The memories were mine, to be sure, but I was nowhere to be seen.

In the past year, I have changed so much that I can no longer even recognize my former self.  Sure, logically I know that it was me, or rather some version of me, in all of those photos, but whatever connection I may have once had to that person has apparently withered and atrophied to the point that it no longer exists.  My memories - the happy ones, the sad ones, and everything in between - are now undeniably inhabited by a total stranger.

As this realization sunk in, a sadness swept over me.  Even as I write this, I’m fighting back tears.  I couldn’t be any happier about where I am in life right now.  I am finally the person I was always meant to be.  I have friends and family that love and support me.  I have supportive coworkers and a successful career.  I have my health and I’ve never felt more beautiful, inside and out.  Up to now, I’ve felt so very lucky that this has all come at such a small and happily paid price, but now…

The price I’ve paid cuts a lot deeper than I had realized.  The true price of my transition is the loss of my past.  It’s just not… mine… not anymore, and so begins the next chapter in my transition.  I have to find a way to be okay with this, or I have to find a way to reconnect with it - to reclaim my past.  I’m going to strive towards the latter, though I’m not sure where to start.  Maybe the first step was simply to recognize and acknowledge it.  Now to figure out the next step…

Whether or not I can recover my past remains to be seen, but all of this has managed to make me acutely aware of how important it is that I now focus on making new memories, memories that will completely and forever be free of that interloper.  This past year, and even a majority of the year or two before it, has been completely focused on starting over and rebuilding my life, but now that this is largely behind me, it’s time to refocus on living this wonderful new life with my friends and especially with my family.  It’s time to close the curtain on the second act of my life and to bring on the third!  It’s mine to own, and I’m going to make it amazing!

Very sexy. You look so much more comfortable like this!

Really!

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