This Is Me Trying

“I’ve found that growing up means being honest. About what I want. What I need. What I feel. Who I am.”

— Epiphany

Colleen hoover shows us every good thing about a character, romanticizes it, makes us love it, swoon over it then just when we reach a peak point and we've fallen knee deep for the character, she shows us the worst side of it and we're left utterly unraveled.

I need someone to think of me the same way authors describe their characters

After you leave a toxic or abusive environment, a lot of normal things are going to feel weird, and just plainly awful at the beginning. Buying that thing you've always wanted can make you feel guilty for spending money on yourself. Resting can feel a lot more like being lazy. Safety and happiness can feel so temporary, almost like you are just waiting for life to get bad again.

It's normal, it's part of the process. You will get used to be at peace. To feel joy. To be safe. I know you will<3

“Pessimistically speaking, we could break each other's hearts again tomorrow— I know we won't, but even if we did, I vow that I will be immensely grateful for the love that led to that heartbreak until the day that I die. If it's my destiny to end up a statistic, there's no one else I'd rather become a statistic with than you.”

– Colleen Hoover, It starts with us

{Chelsea Dingman, from "Psychogeography," published in The Los Angeles Review/ Anne Sexton/ Karen Russell, St. Lucy's Home for Girls - Raised by Wolves/ Abraham Verghese/ Naguib Mahfouz/ Clementine von Radics, Poem: Courtney Love Prays to Oregon/ Aleksandar Hemon, The Lazarus Project/ Fatimah Asghar, from "How'd Your Parents Die Again?" published in The New York Times Magazine/ John Murillo, Poem: Mercy, Mercy, Me}

“The other day, lying in bed, I felt my heart beating for the first time in a long while. I realized how little I live in my body, how much in my mind”

-Rodger kamenetz, from Terra infirma

So in love

I can't stop watching @taylorswift haunting renditions of Lover an False God from SNL last night! I've probably already watched them both a hundred times and will probably watch a hundred more! They are so achingly beautiful I loved them before but stripped down they take you to a whole new level of emotion! Thank you for this @taylorswift @taylornation

Losing sleep because your heart feels heavy is the worst thing