How Did We Get Here?

OH MY FUCKING GOD IT'S TOMORROW

THE CHASE VIDEO IS TOMORROW

IM GOING INSANE IDK WHAT TO DO IM NOT READY

reverse rant

(Yup, it’s that time again…)

There’s no use pretending that the JSE community isn’t going a little sideways at the moment, at least here on Tumblr anyway, and I’m not presumptuous enough to assume that me adding my thoughts to the proverbial dumpster fire will solve anything. But I’ve sat by and watched the flames get higher for a few weeks now, and I think it’s high time I get this off my chest.

The “tea” blog is a flawed idea, yes. We can all acknowledge this. Anyone can go and anonymously spread misinformation or fear, and that’s not helpful. But a lot of the anons on the blog are also just concerned members of the fandom who don’t feel safe to speak out otherwise, and that’s scary, guys. People in our community can’t or won’t speak up because of the PMA Police jumping down their throats about “spreading negativity” when really, we do need a chance to clear the air. That blog’s existence is proof enough of that.

So allow me to be honest: I haven’t felt connected to the community really since Sean’s break last year. The things that I loved most about the Tumblr side of the community was the theorizing and the inside jokes and, yes, the positivity. It seemed like this community, among others, stood out as one that stuck together and encouraged one another. But recently? There’s been nothing to theorize about (Ego content, gaming content, or otherwise). The inside “jokes” have gone on too long and many weren’t even that funny to begin with. And the most depressing of all? Friends of mine have been harassed because they shared their honest feelings about Sean’s changes to the channel. Others don’t feel comfortable voicing their opinions at all. All because of this forced mentality that if we pretend everything is fine, eventually it will be. But that’s only going to put more and more strain on things.

Let people feel how they feel. That’s the main idea behind PMA. Feel distant from the community. Feel sad to see the channel change. Feel a little wary if you want to. But don’t resort to going anonymously on a blog that has said they don’t really care about this community. Speak to friends and fellow members. Get those things off your chest to someone you trust and acknowledge them. It’s okay to feel those things. Maybe they’re just temporary. Every community goes through lulls. There have been times where I’ve felt distant from many communities I’ve been a part of, but 9 times out of 10, I’ve come back around to them later on. The same may be the case now.

Or they may be a permanent issue for you, and that’s okay, too. People change and move on. If this community isn’t a place you want to be anymore, it’s not the end of the world. I know that many of us are emotionally attached to the channel and the community, myself included, and it’s hard to entertain the idea that this change might alienate us from something we’ve loved for so long. But there’s always more out there to discover, and you are free and welcome to explore it, no matter what others say. Don’t let them guilt you for leaving.

And if you want to stay, spread real positivity. Spread real kindness. Don’t elbow for attention and validation by being “the most positive” or “the most devoted.” That’s a cult, my friends. Cult-fandoms sicken me. There is no room for new people. There is no room for open discussion. And there is no room for an actual community. Make no mistake, I am not saying we’re already there. But if we keep traveling down this road of jealousy and finger-pointing and censoring, people are going to leave and never come back and the best days will be far, far behind us. And I don’t want to see that happen.

Instead, just be genuine. That’s something I think our community is lacking right now: genuineness. Be honest and allow others to be honest as well. Decide to stay because you want to, or allow yourself to step back if you need to. Personally, I’m taking a step back. I’m going to allow some time to pass to see if my interest returns. I’m not going to follow as many JSE blogs as closely. I’m not going to watch videos unless I really want to. I will continue writing the Egos because I do genuinely enjoy that, and my slice of the community here around my blog is still a ray of sunshine in my life. The people I have here are why I’m still posting at all, and I want to keep posting for them. And I’m not going to feel bad about it. This is how I choose to enjoy something that is made for enjoyment. And it’s okay.

For anyone who wants to talk, get some things off your chest or whatever, my DM’s are always open. I promise that this blog is and always will be a safe space for you guys, and I thank you all for being so kind and so fun. I really do love this little corner of the community we have here, and I want to keep it together. That’s why I say these things, not to start drama but to clear the air. And that’s all I’ve got!

Stay gold, cutie pies.

IS THAT

IS THAT ANTI IN THE BACK?!

What a perfect way to describe today in the community

Bonus GIF:

Breath of life. ghost/soap.

YES PLEASE 😍

Chapter Two: 1824 October 10th Part 1: Snow

Before i start i would like to apologize for the wait my depression hit me like a goddamn truck so i’m gonna try and upload at least 1-2 times a week and i am so sorry about that. Anyway i hope you like it.

‘Jacks Thoughts’

Writing

Liru’s Thoughts

      It’s been a full year since I met Liru and since then things have gotten a little weird but also a little better. Now they feed me everyday, granted it’s a piece of stale bread but it’s better then nothing, besides Liru gives me food everyday even when she’s busy she’ll just send Stella with a sack of food. Although weird things keep happening around here since then. For one Liru kept getting spotted a lot more, almost every week as wear it was about once every other month before that. Second Mrs. BlanchField, The orphanage’s owner, had gotten attacked and lost the her left hand, the one she slapped me with a week before hand, the day after I told Liru. She wont say what happened but I think it might have been a wild dog or something. The third thing was that whenever she gave me flowers was that instead of wilting they would grow whenever I held them and wherever I went that plant life seemed to flourish.

      Another thing was that there was two voices in my head now. One in pain that sounded a lot like me but sounded like it was struggling to speak, and the other was this weird… noise? I’m not sure what it is but I do know that it’s either scared of Liru or hates her. Probably both in all honesty but the thing I hate the most about it is that it keeps trying to control me, like it’s trying to posses me as if it was a demon… I think it wants to hurt Liru but I’m not sure but I am sure of is that I wont let it.

      The final thing as actually what is happening now, there is a large, only a few centimeters smaller than Stella, snow white horse with a mane and tail as black night with near glowing green eyes and it was trotting to me with a piece of parchment in it’s mouth. Everyone was staring at it as it trotted past them and I instinctively knew it was here for me as I walked into it’s path ignoring the angry whispers of my supposed caretakers of me to get back. I stopped in front of it just as it stopped in front of me and I reached up, a bit hesitant, and grabbed the parchment from it’s mouth and read it.

      His name is Snow. He’ll take you to me today. When he stops say ‘This valley is home to the queen’. Happy Birthday Πυγολαμπίς. -Liru.

      I smiled a little at the use of the nickname she gave me, Lightning Bug. She still wont tell me why she calls me that. I look up at Snow and reach up and begin to pet his snout or at least what I could reach, while I said in a low voice so only he could hear, “Hey Snow,” The horse whinny happily causing me to smile “you here to take me to Liru?” Snow nods his head in a comical way causing me to stifle a laugh, and before I could move to get onto the horse, he suddenly put his ears back before reared back on his hind legs neighing angrily and I quickly stumbled out of the way landing on my butt look to want angered him. When I saw Mr. BlanchField scrambling back, I knew he was going to try and yank me away from Snow.

      Speaking of Snow, he had stomped down in front of Mr. BlanchField who was scrambling back trying not to fall, and kept stomping towards him as if trying to crush him beneath the giant hooves. Once I realized this I quickly scrambled up and ran in front of him throwing my hands up and yelling “STOP!” Snow stopped in his place just in front of me snorting while glaring at the retreating back of Mr. BlanchField.

      I whispered in a soothing voice trying my best to copy Liru’s whenever I begin to panic, “Easy boy, why don’t we go to Liru.” That got his attention and he quickly knelt down for me and I quickly got on and held onto his mane loosely so I don’t fall off as he stood back up. I look around and I can feel my self shrink under their glares and there whispers of calling me a freak and Snow a monster. I lean down burying face into his mane and I can feel myself beginning to shake as Snow huffs angrily as he turned around and I tighten my grip just as he bolts of and I let out a yelp despite expecting it. After a few minutes I sit up a bit as Snow slows down a bit but doesn’t stop and I can see that we are riding through the forest now and I force my self to relax again.

      I close my eyes listening to the wind as we whip past everything and to the sound of Snow’s hooves hitting the ground which surprised me because I was honestly not expecting that, I thought it would have been like Stella’s and make no noise at all but I guess not. I open my eyes again my mind flashing back to looks I got from the people from the village, their whispers and it’s not the first time this has happened either and nowhere near the worst but it still hurt. I sigh to my self knowing I was going to get beat when I go back tonight ‘If I go back tonight’ and then my mind was racing through every offer Liru gave me and I could feel regret churning in my stomach from not accepting any of her offers, even more so when I realized she stopped asking about 4 months ago.

      I look at our surroundings as we exit the forest and into a field as Snow slows down to a trot and I can feel something is off about this place. Not in a bad way but… not in a good way either it was more like if I wasn’t invited I would have my head cut off.  The feeling got strong the closer to the middle field we got but I could also smell something, it smelt kind of like Liru honestly, Roses, fresh water, and something I can’t quiet put my finger on. We were almost to the middle now and I can here multiple voices in different languages saying something they seemed to be saying- no, asking the same thing from what I heard they were asking “Who are you?” over and over until snow came to a stop in the middle of the field and they all went quiet before saying in unison, a male voice dominating them all, in their languages.

      “Oh, you’re her lightning bug.” I froze at the words and I can feel my cheeks turning pink wondering how the voices not only knew Liru but her nickname for me. Before I can dive deeper into that thought Snow neighs softly reminding me what I need to do in the first place. I look around at the field one last time before looking ahead and saying in a soft voice,

      “This valley is home to the queen.”

Liru’s P.o.v.

      I’m sitting on top of one the libraries book cases, a book in my lap about Body and Soul Merging, books around the same or similar subjects floating around me unconsciously as I try to make sense of what is written on the pages before me and before I could say anything to Serenity who, now that I look at her seemed to be in some sort of trance. I went to pick up the grey chinchilla but before I could she snapped out of her trance as a voice flooded not only the library or even the castle but the valley it’s self. I smile recognize that familiar voice and words being said together for the first time and I look up to the glass ceiling whispering.

      “Welcome home Jack.”

Tag List

@immabethehero

@antis-gauge

@therealtiger77

@nerdylampeclipseuniversity

@a-mad-tea-time

@i-maybe-exist

May you touch dragonflies and stars

Dance with fairies and talk to the moon

Another playlist, now based around these two. I can't get them out of my mind and I'mnot complaining, so why not just do a playlist based around them.

Theres like a lot of these, but everyone has their own interpretation so why not have all of them.

(Playlist is updated frequently, suggestions are always appreciated)