Latest Posts by theghostofacookie - Page 4

violence

Hi hi everyone.

You can find this map here with all variations:

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Also you can get my maps individually in Roll20:

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Don't forget to support me on patreon for new maps every week

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somehow knowing that tumblr is being kept around mostly as a testing ground for advertisers and corporations doesn’t even make me feel that exploited, because every social media site is exploitive. but being basically lab rats to test shit on before it’s refined for use in polite society is by far the funniest possible way to be exploited.

Ranking of rankings:

Ordered lists

Individual ratings on a plain numeric scale (e.g., 7 out of 10)

Letter grades

Letter grades with extra tiers above A represented by increasing repetitions of the letter “S”

Individual ratings on a gimmicky numeric scale (e.g., three stinky cheese wheels out of five)

Binary pass/fail categorisation

Adjectives

Got new pants

??? I can't see them

smacking you in the face wjth it

Adventure: Enter the Vivlioklasm 

“I’ll tell you something for nothing” said the old wizard, leaning back in her well worn reading chair. “ The power of our station is gained through the acquisition of knowledge and cultivated through understanding. Archmage Jovenal never understood the later, and it led him and the dozens of fool apprentices that chased his horde to the same sad fate. Trapped like a begger in a golden tomb: surrounded by all they could ever want, but with no way to use it.” 

Setup: Rumors among knowledge seekers  and bibliophiles speak of an infinite library, A scriptographic cornucopia  somewhere in the astral plane that contains every though ever consigned to page. Those venturing across planer barriers in search of a multi-dimensional archive invariably return disapointed, having found what amounts to the back room of an ill-managed bookshop, distorted in scale until it reached the size of a city, complete with districts, castles, slums and canals all full of muchabused volumes.  The place is a maestrom of loose pages and flying volumes, constantly being piled and repiled in different configurations. 

Said to contain coppies of every text to have ever existed, the Viivliokasm contains no accurate maps, guides, or filing systems, with volumes tossed about randomly, buried beneith mountians of other mismatched texts, or used as some architectural flourish in the city’s ever changing layout. Most astral explorers know that finding a useful tome, let alone a singular instance of a DESIRED tome is impossible and leave the search to the immortal and foolishly overambitious. 

Adventure Hooks:

Working for a loremaster, the party seeks a book of prophecies that can help them to evade a great disaster. Entering into the most dangerous dungeon they’ve ever delved, their sacrifices and trials come to naught as the tome in question has rotted away into barely legible scraps. Knowing that there is one last “hail Ioun” option, the loremaster equips them with a tracking spell and sets them on a path towards a portal to the Vivlioklasm

A lich and an angel have taken up residence in neighboring boroughs of the book-made city, intent on bringing order to the chaos. The two rivals send minions to steal volumes to one anotehr as they work on increasingly elaborate ( and non-compatible) filing systems. Can the players break the stalemate, or perhaps even negotiate a peace between the two?  it may be only a drop in the bucket, but in a few millennia their organization may turn the Vivlioklasm into a usable resource.

By Chance, the party comes into possession of an absolute rarity, a magically enhanced map that charts the location of a series of valuable books and the shifting hallways that hide them. Sadly, these hallways lay in “the burning stacks”, which is where the arcane servitors that maintain the Vivlioklasm place those books that invariably catch fire in the sprawling chaos of the libric-city. As the books themselves are astral constructs, they don’t completely burn away, instead piling atop one another as kindling in an everburning cathedral reminiscent of something out of hell. Coincidentally, the party acquires the map from a group of demonic cultists. could they have competition in retrieving these rare volumes?  

Keep reading

neurodivergent culture is reading a book in English class and everyone having a completely different interpretation than you

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Alright who shit my pants

as a player you should really internalize the intent/task sentence structure. “i wanna open this door by prying it open with a crowbar,” “i wanna set fire to the hay bale with my firebolt,” “i wanna haggle this price by commenting on some minor scratches.”

very often i see players only stating one of these. either “i wanna open the door” or “i cast firebolt on the hay bale.”

what the intent/task structure does is properly communicate to your GM what a success/failure state looks like, and what kind of challenge they propose. sometimes players have a very specific outcome in mind, but when they just state the task, even a successful attempt will be disappointing because the GM does not know what you want to achieve. and vice versa, just stating your intent puts weight on the GM to not only come up with the consequences to the actions, but what even causes them to begin with.

Footnotes on foes: Eldrazi

Hey DMs, do you need an unfeeling aberrant force to threaten your campaign world at various scales but don’t want to use mindflayers? Bored of lovecraftian knockoffs threatening to drown reality in abstract but unspecified “madness”? Well have I got the monster for you friends, It’s the Eldrazi: an unknowable and all consuming horde that’s here to reduce your setting to nothingness.

I’ve always had a fondness for the Eldrazi after they originally debued in magic the gathering, alien beings that sap all life from their surroundings and seem to have no other aims beyond the total and complete obliteration of whatever world they happen to dwell on. (plus they have a super cool look, and in the end isn’t that what matters?)

Eldrazi have a lot of mystery surrounding them, but in trying to puzzle them out I came up with my own headcanon that was too good not to use.  Below the cut I’ll go into detail on how I think the eldrazi function, and how you can best use them in your campaigns.

TLDR: The eldrazi are the great decomposers of the multiverse, reducing dead worlds down into their base components, and then into dust to be reabsorbed by the cosmic cycles of the astral sea. A perfectly natural process, but one that can go catastrophically wrong should the eldrazi be drawn to a world that has not yet died as they often are by witless dabblers or disruptions to those same astral currents. When they end up on a world they’re not supposed to be they end up creating wastelands, fighting against nature like an infection.  

Keep reading

After over a year of work, it's finally here: my biggest (and I think best) project ever, the cultist class!

Note: This is a preview of the class. You can access the full version by pledging to me on patreon or you can also purchase the PDF directly via dmsguild!

Love when Tumblr recommends me a post based on my likes and the post is just a picture of a cardboard box filled with water

I have replaced the dragons in Skyrim with the state of Ohio.

my DnD group recently started a second campaign & i’m in love with our player characters!!

Foul experiments from mad scientists are wandering behind every corner of the dark temple. Born from an unholy ichor made from the most blasphemous materials, these creatures are created to serve their dark masters.

But there’s one fiend in particular that has the potential to be a destructive force like no other.

Located at the heart of the temple in an enormous room full of the disgusting liquid, this abomination has almost finished being created.

If the heroes are fast enough, and skilled enough to beat the challenges present, then they just might get a chance to destroy the creature before all hell breaks loose.

You can see a preview of this map’s Patreon content by clicking here.

If you liked the map I’d be extremely thankful if you considered supporting me on my Patreon, rewards include higher resolution files, gridless versions, alternate versions, line versions, PSDs and more. Thank you!

how did you get banned on soundcloud?

A month ago during the “soundcloud is going down” scare I wrote a script that basically downloaded my entire corner of SoundCloud at incredibly abusive speed and got bandwidth-banned for a month since CloudFlare detected it as a mass DDOS (which is fair I mean I was downloading like terabytes of data)

ough

glorious without context

yeah no offense to confucius or anything but if i was about to embark on a journey of revenge i would simply not dig two graves

Gifted kid burnout culture is later on realizing you have ADHD... And Autism... And BPD...

But your parents denying it by saying that people with those things usually perform badly in school and I (supposedly) don't, so,,,

Y e a h.

.

Energy company has got some sass

Thinking about a duct tape wizard