It's Crazy How You Have To Choose To Be Different And Then Once You Do It's Not Even Over - You Have

i started isolating myself and ignoring people as always, great to know I'll never get better

people literally make it their job to tell me the goldfinch is boring. GIRL I KNOW ITS BORING…… im talking about the goldfinch me and the besties made up on tumblr

i think the hardest thing to accept is that my life is not a novel. there is no omnipotent reader rooting for me, loving me despite my flaws and character deficits. my life does not have a poetic theme or overarching narrative, and if it ends bitterly it will not be beautifully tragic or hauntingly relatable, i will just have wasted the life i was given trying to make it that way, always trying to see myself in the third person

Can't believe it took me until I was lying in the dark trying to fall asleep last night to realize that Theo's mental breakdown trapped in an Amsterdam hotel room after a disaster and waiting to find out if Boris will ever return was fueled by its similarity to his time years before in his childhood NYC apartment after a disaster, waiting to find out if his mother will ever return.

Like I don't think I'm an idiot, but how did it take me so long to realize the connection there?

Anyway, Boris is the hero of the novel, weirdly! He subverts the central trauma of the book!

Theo is uprooted and shipped off to Vegas, a place where he himself says nobody loves him. Not true though, because Boris does!

Theo discovers his fiance is cheating on him, that he's betrayed and completely alone. Except then Boris shows up, and even though he did betray Theo, he wants to make it right!

Theo is stuck with no answers and no way to call his mother who he knows deep down will never return. Except when it happens again, it's Boris. And Boris completely subverts the mirroring of the book's central trauma! He does return! Not only that, he's fixed everything! The painting is returned and the guilt is gone! The money will fix Theo's mistake with Hobie! Come to Antwerp with him and get over your cold, you're fucking fine!

not normie enough to fit in but not fringe enough to lean into being a freak, worst of both worlds, pure liminality, just the weird coworker, and unrelatable classmate. and your mutual

yeha boris.. im sure u were just “young and needed girls” ..

SOPHIE THATCHER for Marie Claire (2024)

My pretentious opinion is that I prefer adult boreo and I think that Las Vegas boreo enjoyers are weak. Everyone can get behind angsty gay teenagers but it takes a real one to enjoy those full grown assholes with literal girlfriends and unresolved tension that has been built up for like a decade. They reek with doom and toxicity and they still would sacrifice their lives for each other. And there's definitely some resentment built up there they really need to talk about BUT THEY WONT.

"More than anything I was relieved that in my unfamiliar babbling-and-wanting-to-talk state I'd stopped myself from blurting the thing on the edge of my tongue, the thing I'd never said, even though it was something we both knew well enough without me saying it out loud to him in the street—which was, of course, I love you."

– The Goldfinch, by Donna Tartt