It's Your Lucky Day. Nothing You Had That Left Is Coming Back

As soon as I saw her

I was just immediately afraid to lose her

-Rue

My pretentious opinion is that I prefer adult boreo and I think that Las Vegas boreo enjoyers are weak. Everyone can get behind angsty gay teenagers but it takes a real one to enjoy those full grown assholes with literal girlfriends and unresolved tension that has been built up for like a decade. They reek with doom and toxicity and they still would sacrifice their lives for each other. And there's definitely some resentment built up there they really need to talk about BUT THEY WONT.

rip michelle wheeler you would’ve loved champagne problems

The life hack is that if you keep consistently doing healthy things even when you feel like shit you’ll eventually feel less like shit on principle alone

a novel about falling in love in the desert doing drugs and commiting art crimes is something that can be so personal

[S]ometimes, unexpectedly, grief pounded over me in waves that left me gasping; and when the waves washed back, I found myself looking out over a brackish wreck which was illuminated in a light so lucid, so heartsick and empty, that I could hardly remember that the world had ever been anything but dead.

Donna Tartt's The Goldfinch

Hobie: such a natural talent for sales! such success! well done!

Theo, fully coked up, getting ready to sell the 5th knock-off Sheraton sofa that week:

that quote like “god gave us transness for the same reason he made grapes but not wine; yeast but no loaves — so we may partake in the divine act of creation”

i think the hardest thing to accept is that my life is not a novel. there is no omnipotent reader rooting for me, loving me despite my flaws and character deficits. my life does not have a poetic theme or overarching narrative, and if it ends bitterly it will not be beautifully tragic or hauntingly relatable, i will just have wasted the life i was given trying to make it that way, always trying to see myself in the third person