Themarissacooper - Dazed & Confused

AUGUST 7: Alice James (1848-1892)

The name Henry James is legendary in the literary world, but a lesser known name is that of his sister – Alice James – who was born on this day in 1848. Today, Alice is famous for her published diaries and her tragedy-riddled life story.

Alice James is photographed lying in bed, where she spent the majority of her last years. In her own words, she had become “an appendage to five cushions and three shawls” (x).

Alice was born on August 7, 1848 in New York City. She was the youngest out of 5 children to be born to the wealthy and intellectual James family; most notable of her siblings were, of course, Henry James the novelist and also William James the psychologist. From the early age of 12, Alice began to show signs of what was then called “hysteria.” The only daughter of the James family and thus the only James child whose intellect was snuffed out instead of encouraged, she ended up having her first nervous breakdown at the age 19. A lifetime struggle with mental illness and sporadic physical ailments would follow. While her older brothers were being sent to Harvard one after another, Alice was at home taking care of their father and writing in her diaries that illness was to be her life’s work.

A rare photo shows Alice (bottom left) posing with friends (x).

A gay man himself, Alice had a special relationship with her brother Henry. Whereas most members of the family resigned Alice to a life of misery in their minds, Henry was consistently writing letters to his little sister encouraging her to “look for the little good in each day as if life were to last a hundred years” and even to take opium if it would help with her physical pain. Alice, for her part, was in a “Boston marriage” with a journalist named Katharine Loring. During the 19th and early 20th century, “Boston marriage” was a term used to describe two women who lived together without any financial dependency on a man. While the public often treated these women as simple “old maids” who lived together platonically, the reality is that many of them were in romantic relationships. Alice and Katharine were no exception, rather they were one of the most famous “Bostonians” of their day – as the two were the inspiration for the protagonists of Henry James’s 1886 novel of the same name.

Katharine Loring reads to Alice in bed. According to one of Alice’s many biographers, Katharine acted as “man and woman, father, and mother, nurse and protector, intellectual partner and friend” for Alice from the day they met in 1873 until her death (x).

When she was 43, it was discovered that Alice had breast cancer. After dealing with depression and suicidal ideation her whole life, she was ecstatic about her diagnosis. She would die a year later on March 9, 1892. One of the last entries in her diary would read, “I am working away as hard as I can to get dead as soon as possible.” Although ignored during her lifetime, the publishing of her diary in the 20th century would drag the name Alice James right alongside those of her brothers’ in the history books.

-LC

Autistic Dating

Neurodivergent_lou

Things I am good at:

pushing people away

sleeping

fucking things up

forgetting to text people back

eating food

1. Feel sexy underneath. You don’t need a significant other to wear fancy underwear for. Throw on a matching set of a bra and panties. Wear as much lace as you want. You’re seeing it. Feel sexy for you. 2. Remember to moisturize. You are the one living in that skin. You have a beautiful soul to keep warm, so take care of your skin. 3. Shave or don’t shave. Do whatever makes you feel the sexiest. If you like your leg hair wild and free, then do it. Let yourself be as you once were before you knew what society made a razor do to young women. Love your skin. If you like your legs shaved, then baby take your sweet time as you do it. Feel every inch of your luscious legs and smile as you appreciate the feeling of your body. 4. Take millions of selfies. Worship your body, your face, your everything. Your soul leaks through these photos. Each selfie is a shrine built to worship your own unique beauty. Do not be ashamed of it. Share these photos with the world or keep them hidden, but do not fear them. Embrace the power and freedom that comes from loving yourself enough to take a selfie. 5. Nourish yourself. Eat cake or eat carrots, eat what makes your body and soul feel good. Exercise whenever you want to. Don’t do it because you feel like you have to: do it because your body screams for the endorphins. Don’t deny yourself food out of fear. Only do it when you really, truly, deep in your soul, do not desire it. You are a wildfire and you are allowed to eat up the world, as much of it as you choose. If you want something, consume it. If not, burn on, wildfire. 6. Get lost in nature. Take a buddy to the mountains or simply lie down in your front lawn, just allow yourself to be consumed by the world around you. You were once a part of the earth, so remember to embrace every bit of it. Allow yourself at least 10 minutes of peace a day in nature. It will leave you feeling more grounded than ever before. 7. Say no. I cannot stress this enough. Your ability to say no defines you. You are a strong, empowered individual, and if you disagree with something or don’t want something, do not be afraid to say no. That is your RIGHT. No one has the right to coerce you into doing something you do not want to do. Do not let the concern of hurting their feelings injure you in the long run. Say no and I promise you, you’ll be better for it. 8. Be independent. Being single leads to a type of freedom that some people are unaccustomed to. When you are single, you are truly independent. Make decisions for you. Be selfish, in a way. Don’t let others stand in the way of your burning soul, your true wildfire. This is your life and you must live it for you. Do not allow others to dictate how you should or should not live. Let those people go. Be free of those restrictions and burn on.

a few things i learned after being single for almost a year (squatdatazz.tumblr.com)

Needed this right now

“Do not be afraid to take risks in your work. I spent 10 years pursuing a career before I booked anything. You need to have an unwavering belief in your abilities and yourself. Light that fire in your belly and visualize your goals. But most of all, DO NOT BE AFRAID TO FAIL, Go out there and get it!”

— Dacre Montgomery

Bob's Burgers ❤🍔

Autistic Meltdowns

Neurodivergent_lou

losing your skills and abilities to physical disability can be so scary. especially when you don't know where it's going to end. where the same day a year ago you could walk unaided and now you can't cook while standing. it's okay to be afraid, to mourn what you used to do and what you might have done. nobody is allowed to tell you that you have to be positive, be a "warrior" of your condition, or that you can't mourn.