Latest Posts by thesadboisclub - Page 3

I'm so bored, but good morning 😂

My Dearest L…

Well, today went to shit, I had a long car ride and then I got home and found out that my best friend stole my credit card and used it to buy someone that's 172$ I know that doesn't sound like a lot but when you broke asf and only have about 100$ to your name and your credit card is already at 400$ from trying to pay it off for 8 months after losing your job. it's alot of fucking money... so now I'm 900$ in the whole and I am just still a broke as bitch YAAAY ME!!!!

It will be time for bed when the cigarette hits the floor

TheSadBoisClub

My Dearest L…

Well, today was actually a great day. Man was I tired when I got up this morning, but I didn't let that stop me from going out today. I got up put my hair up and put on some makeup and left out the front door. Off I went to store after store. The sun felt so good on my skin!!. OOOHH!!! you guys might or might not be happy to hear that Mexico is going to come home soon!!! so he says, I believe it when I see it XD but other than that today was a really great day. I loved it!!

This shit messes with my head The only home I know is my bed Too lazy for suicide I just watch the days pass hoping to die

Palaye Royale

My Dearest L…

I started my day with my mom waking me up like every other day with her whimpering "are up getting up today" and like always I said, "yes just give me a sec" but today I feel a bit better than yesterday. I started this new movie on Netflix not long ago, it's like 2h long. I'll let you guys know how it is, haha. I say that like people actually read this blog..... anyways uhh the movie is called Space Sweepers it's this Korean sci-fi movie. it looks pretty good and I love a good sci-fi movie, I'm really into the whole cyberpunk style tbh I love it so much the city's in those kinds of movies are fucking AMAZING tbh I wish I could live there honestly!!! but I don't know if the world will ever get to that when I'm living but till then I guess I'll just have to wait and see...

My Dearest L…

My b-day is next week HAHA who would have guessed that I would still be here to see my 21st b-day cuz I sure and hell didn't. this is probably the part when I drift off into some random thought that pops up in my head. like it smells like chocolate in my room. I don't even have any air fresheners in here strange. sometimes I struggle to write things down on this blog and I think it shows sometimes. but sometimes I don't want to write but nothing comes out at all, so I just mash a bunch of random thoughts in my head into one paragraph.

My Dearest L…

I'm bipolar, that's right the endless days of up's and down's, today and the past week now have all been downers. I mean, I pop my pills and stay alone because that's where I'm comfortable. I try and not think about it but sometimes it's all that goes through my mind the thought of always being alone with none to hold or to be here for me. I have texas and my friend but calling then is just not the same so actually having someone here with me to just fuck up the night together. you know sometimes I think about ripping my leg open again but am I going to maybe not cuz I'm in my right mind now but there is always that thought in my head that's like "you know you want to, come on, do it, just once!!" but if I start I won't be able to stop. it's almost like cocaine. just one line they say or just one more cigarette they say then 1 line become 5 and that becomes 10 then the next thing you know your whole leg is filled with lines. I miss the way I used to feel when I was 13 years old. whatever happened to the little boi where did he go????

My Dearest L...

Tonight is a weird night for me. I had a great night last night talking to texas till he went to bed, but still nothing from Mexico... I hope he's okay. back to what I was going to talk about. where do people go when we die? cause last night I was trying to fall asleep and as I was drifting off I thought to myself what if I have a heart attack tonight in my sleep. where would I go? would I just think I woke up in the morning and I just fell asleep or would it just start all over again from the begging? like a being FUCK YOU! try again... wait, one second!! what if when we fall asleep every night and die and when we wake up we come back to life but then there is that one night we drift off and don't wake up. and then billy in the corner will be like "well damn, he sure in hell hit that damn coffin hard" then the nurse will come over and say "billy get back to your room NOW!!" she's yelling because she's stressed about the dead body just laying on the bed. then billy will walk up to her and say "Debbie I'm already in my room" and of course Debbie will say some stupid shit like "fine just go for a shit then" and she'll storm out of the room stressed out and walk to the corner of the building outside and walk to her secret smoke stash under the birdhouse.

My Dearest L...

I'm spending V-day with my friends online watching a show but something about, still being alone in my room is just so sad...

I wish I could hold "Mexico" in my arms I miss him so much:..(

sometimes I wonder if he's moved on without me in Mexico but just doesn't have the balls to tell me. And he's kinda just stringing me along. But and the same time I'd rather just not know... since his b-day and his scop sign is the same as mine. I know how he acts cuz we are the same person, but then if I were him all alone for so long I don't know if I could hold on to someone for so long without being with them in person but then if I look at it this way and wait it out till the day we do see each other we will be soo damn happy :) just thinking of that day makes me want to cry...

My Dearest L...

I woke up today at 4 pm and I didn’t feel sad for once I just feel what I think is “happiness” It such I weird feeling to me but I wonder if this year will be my year to finally spread my wings and fly. I might go on a walk tomorrow it’s supposed to be a nice day out tomorrow so I might as well enjoy some fresh air. I think I’m going to open my window after have it closed for 8 months now...:)

My Dearest L...

it’s time is driff off into a dark slumber agian...

My Dearest L...

tonight is coming to an end but before i go i want to just say some time i think i’m in a coma  in some hospitle waiting to wake up one day and this is all just a big dream i’m in...

My Dearest L...

I miss the day’s drinking with my bestfriend...

My Dearest L...

I have this smoking habit that I'm trying to stop, but then I don't know why I'd stop when we're all going to die one day. do I have to stop because I want a few long years to live or should I stop because I want to be old enough to see my grandchildren? then comes the question will I ever have grandchildren? I'm single right now, correction I have "someone" but I don't know how long it's going to last cause it a long-distance R-ship and everyone knows how they tend to go. My longest one was I think a year long. I know this is going to sound bad to me. but don't judge till you know the whole story boys and girls. but I have this boy I started seeing before covid and I was already in my online R-ship but this guy was here in my home town and he knew I had the online boyfriend but I am yet to tell my online boyfriend about him, not because I don't want him knowing I just don't know how he's going to act knowing I have 2 boyfriends and NO I'M NOT A PLAYER.....I'm just poly and my online boyfriend knows I am. but now the boy that lived close to me. went home to Mexico for x-mas and he has not come back, I talk to him everyday. he told me he'd be back at the beginning of Jan but now it's the middle of Feb and I have two online R-ships and I'm left cold and alone in bed at night in the....dark...with my panic attacks...and my nightmares...to suffer all alone...in a cold beddd.

My Dearest L...

Why do I feel like your going? but are you still with me...it’s like you have left me.

You used to be with me when I was 13 but then I got older and you slowly just ended you fading away from me. Times got too hard for you, I guess. Was that the case tho? for are you still here with me. Do you still live in the dark? when will you find the light again... and make me feel the same way you used to? will it ever come back or is it gone forever!!! I guess I’ll just have to wait.

“The beat of broken jazz”

It’s a lonely world, everybody tries to hide. 

Behind there dark blue eyes, behind those broken lies.

Did it really hurt, when you left me in the dirt.

The sky is crying, as the thoughts of you are sighing.

Boy the last string to tie was to say goodbye.

I tend to stick in your head, like the last homeless cat you fed.

You're like the beat of broken jazz.

You used to hit strings, in my heart like sweet smooth jazz sings.

In those steam filled showers, passing by those arousing seductive hours.

I found myself face down, trying to pick up my crown.

As you undid my lace, I tried to replace.

All the broken dreams i had to face.

They brought me to a place, where time can’t bring a trace. Of peace back to me.

How am i going to find a way to cope, when i can’t even wash the scars with that bloody red bar of soap.

In the dark, of a lonely park.

Passing the time away, but i only find myself fading away.

Through the wind I've sinned and through the sky I'll fly.

Say goodbye as we dance with the devil tonight.

Give up the fight, we gave it a good try.

Broken and beaten. To nothing we shall remain.

And that will be the end of my pain.

-TheSadBoisClub

My Dearest L...

Dose anyone else listen to sad love music on V-day??

My Dearest L...

V-day is coming up tomorrow, it’s a dreadful day for me and the rest of the singles out there, no matter how hard they try to tell themselves they're happy just lying to themselves they know damn well. Just like I do that V-day is just a day the world made up to say “fuck you” to all the singles out there. Then on the other hand I wish I had someone to hold me at night and call my own...but till then I’ll just wait and keep calm for my time to come. They say if you stop looking love will come to you, but how are you gonna find love when you don’t put yourself out there. That’s almost like when you in an R-ship everyone wants you and when nobody wants you. I find it so weird how the world works sometimes...

Dear, Elisa Lam...

Before I go to bed tonight, I have to tell you something. I am not convinced that you did this to yourself at all, I truly believe that the hotel is hiding something from us. That manager from the new Eisa Lam documentary on Netflix has got me so damn angry!!! all she cares about is her stupid little hotel not looking like a fucking drug house. Well smell the roses hun it’s already home to the night stalker and a bunch of other prison rats. She didn’t even shed a damn tear for Elisa and don’t even get me started on how I think they made this Elisa lam documentary to cover up the real truth behind this case uggghhh fuck this makes me so damn angry!!!!

My Dearest L...

How can I miss someone I’ve never met? I miss those soft eyes glancing up at me as the morning sun comes beaming through the window, I miss the feeling of your hands brushing over my delicate skin during the midnight hours in bed, I miss how you would keep the sheets warm at night when I’m cold. How can I miss these things when I haven’t even laid my eyes on you yet???

My Dearest L...

Will i ever find the one that will make me happy to be alive??

My Dearest L...

I honestly have felt for years now like I’m not moving forward in my life I feel stuck in a pit that I can’t get out of, to make it even worse I’ve been wronged by so many people in my life that I feel like my heart doesn’t even know how to feel or be in love again. I mean it’s not like the opportunity hasn’t come up but even when it does I talk to the person for a max of a week or two weeks if there lucky. Then it’s almost as if it just doesn’t mean anything anymore... is it even possible for someone to be so broken that they can’t love anymore????

Relationships are like glass. Sometimes it’s better to leave them broken than try to hurt yourself putting it back together.

Unknown