Ruby: *Introduces Qrow As Their Uncle.*

Ruby: *Introduces Qrow as their uncle.*

Jaune: *Eyes glaze over. Sucker punches Qrow in the stomach so hard he starts puking.*

Yang: Jaune what the fuck!

Jaune: Huh! Wha-What happened? Whose this sick guy?

Bad Touch

Jaune: I love finger puppets! When I was a kid, my uncle used to play finger puppets with me all the time!

Ruby: That’s so sweet!

Jaune: Yeah… it really hurt to sit down afterwards though.

Yang: Woah, hold on-

Jaune: I was the puppet.

More Posts from Thesapsmith and Others

4 years ago

Jacques' been gone for what? A day and a half? And Willow’s gone from paranoid to depressed to seemingly more relaxed now? And/Or sultry?

Someone protect Jaune. We have no idea how much stronger an Atlas milf would be than a Mantle milf.

Willow's VA had no right to deliver that line so sexily wtf


Tags
2 years ago

Are you going to invent the Mudcrab Miraculous?

I have such a dumb idea for my MLB x Skyrim AU....help

5 years ago

Taiyang: Yang, where?

Ruby: Don’t tell-

Yang: *Playing on her scroll* Across the hall, blond guy.

Ruby: Yang! How could you!

Taiyang: Ruby, I just wanna talk to him...

Ruby: Dad! Jaune’s nice! you don’t have to-

Taiyang: *Knocking on JNPR’s dorm room door* I just wanna shoot him...

Ruby: Daddy no!

Taiyang: *Still knocking* Daddy yes!

Jaune: *Opens door, in pajamas* Hello?

Taiyang: Jaune Arc?

Jaune: Yes?

Ruby: Jaune get bac-!

Taiyang: *Levels shotgun with Jaune’s chest and fires, knocking Jaune back into the room*

Ruby: *Screams, running in after him*

Taiyang: Listen, Sweetie, I know that seems drastic but there are-

Yang: *Walking into the hall* Waaait for it...

Taiyang: What? Wait for-

Jaune: Ahhhh, ow that hurts...fuuuck...this was my last clean shirt...

Taiyang:...what?

*Both Xiao Longs look through the doorway. Just in time to see Ruby pulling what was left of Jaune’s t-shirt off, revealing a massive bruise on the boy’s chest, but no other visible injury*

Taiyang: What?

Yang: Yeah, didn’t work when I tried that either, Loverboy is...sturdy...

Taiyang: That should have at least knocked him- *Gets tackled by Prof. Port*

Yang: *Sitting down by her quickly hogtied father* At least I did mine when he had armor on, did even less...

Taiyang: This could not get worse...

Yang: Well, Ruby did have fun playing nurse last time, I don’t know if they ended up at second base or third by the end, Ruby wouldn’t say, you might wanna send some condoms along with your apology note, Wingman-in-law.

Taiyang: *Groans against the floor*

Ruby: daddy i have a boyfriend

Tai: really?

Ruby: his name is jaune.

Tai:(holding a shotgun) and where does jaune live?

Ruby:...


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5 years ago

Is Weiss suggesting Willow has a separate bed just for sex?

How would each member of RWBY react to finding Jaune in bed with their mom?

Summer

Ruby: hi jaune! Hi mom! mom!? Wait… *gasp*

Willow

Weiss: MOM! JAUNE! YOU TWO ARE DOING IT!? AND IN THE BED YOU SLEEP IN MOM!?

Kali

Blake: ugh mom why do you always sleep with my blonde friends?

Raven

Yang: mom! Do you have a thing for hot blondes or something?!


Tags
4 years ago

Jaune: *Telling Pyrrha how very datable he thinks she is*

Pyrrha: *Red-faced, trembling in place, thinking* ‘You’re so fucking close, and so am I...’

The Prom Episode In Volume 2 Was The Pinnacle Of Human Evolution.

The prom episode in Volume 2 was the pinnacle of human evolution.


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4 years ago

I’ve always loved a theory I saw that the vault isn’t even in Beacon either.

It’s in the Emerald Forest Ruin.

I’ve Always Loved A Theory I Saw That The Vault Isn’t Even In Beacon Either.

There’s some logic to support this, but it isn’t concrete:

The relic of choice getting hidden right under the spot where where partnered students choose their teammates.

The relic draws grim to it. The forest has more grim than we ever saw in the wild in Anima, for instance. But it would be regularly cleared out by students training in it.

The forest is wired up with cameras, supposedly just to monitor initiation, but Grimm Eclipse up and calls it a security system.

It’s not perfect, but I do love the idea.

Beacon’s Vault

So we know that the Relic of Choice is hidden differently to other relics, but I think I may have an idea on whereabouts it may be, or at least the door to it.

Beacon’s Vault

There’s a lot we can discern from the Vault under Haven Academy and later Atlas Academy. Each Vault is accessible via a tall, thin trapezium door which is unlocked by the touch of a maiden.

The Spring Vault is that of a dreamlike desert landscape, a single biome that stretches to the Horizon - a pocket dimension of sorts. The fact that it is a desert is to make it abundantly clear that this is not part of Haven, nor even Mistral.

I would say it’s easiest to assume that Atlas and Vacuo’s vaults have similarly contrasting biomes to the kingdoms they’re housed in - for example, Atlas’s may be a green forest, while Vacuo’s might be comprised of waterfalls and lakes. Being magical, these vaults probably aren’t beholden to the whims of time and therefore likely stay as they are, year around.

You’re probably wondering where I’m going with this.

Each vault is an almost unnatural biome.

Each vault stands out against its home kingdom.

The vaults probably don’t change based on natural-world time.

Now where have we seen something like that around Beacon?

Oh yeah, Forever Fall.

Beacon’s Vault

There’s a place in Vale that is noted to literally be always Fall. Not beholden to the passage of seasons or time, for no particular explained reason. (Unless…)

Volume 3 shows us fall, and its trees aren’t as bright red as Forever Fall’s are - they’re a more natural orange. Volume 1 makes a point of showing us this place twice, once in the Black Trailer and again in the Jaunedice arc, and yet never explains why it’s how it is. Jaunedice could have just as easily (if not more easily due to budget) occurred in the Emerald Forest again. But they choice to show us Forever Fall.

Forever Fall. Beacon’s vault needing the Fall Maiden. Forever Fall looking somewhat more fantasy than the rest of Remnant.

I’m not sure whether Beacon’s vault is located in Forever Fall, or if it is Forever Fall, or if it’s even goddamn open already and has leaked out into Forever Fall, but it’s something to do with goddamn Forever Fall.

4 years ago

What if Jaune caught Neo, and then lifted her so she was higher than him, then tip-toed up to kiss her after?

Okay but imagine that first Silent Knight kiss

Jaune’s knees are bent but he still has to lean down and nearly hurt his neck to reach Neo

Neo is on the tips of her toes practically pulling Jaune down to her level, using him as support so she doesn’t fall over


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4 years ago

What’s that rule about a pawn getting to become a queen or a knight?

They need to get to the other side of the board first...

My Cinder obsessed brain struggles between the idea that Cinder is important to Salem’s plans more than we think given how Salem backpedals her behavior to make sure Cinder stays loyal to her vs the idea that destiny as stated by the show’s thesis is a myth and Salem chose Cinder because like Hazel, she was perfect to mold into a destiny for her needs.

Sometimes, it really feels like Cinder is important in some way and that Salem chose her for a reason. But in earlier eps on v8, that idea feels contradicted by the “more than a pawn, but not a player” sentiment. So which is it?

4 years ago

We’re going to find out that Schnee Manor can detach from Atlas and fly under it’s own power.

Whitley will land it near the crater long enough to get the Mantle refugees on board, and so we can have a tower defense episode.

Winter and the defection squad will defend it from the air until they crashland in Willow’s depression-garden.

Ironwood will be one of the only people on Atlas when Salem gets there.

Theory.

The Schnee Family mansion could become a sanctuary for the people of Atlas fleeing Salem

Theory.

Look at the size of it. Look at the towers in the foreground and back ground. Assuming the Schnee's like to keep their mansion architecture symmetrical, the Mansion is as possibley wide as it is long. If not a huge square block.

I don't doubt for a second that the Schnee Mansion has its own security system that can run on generators in case of a power outage. It may even have its own hard light shield. Something to be expected of a company that not only produces hard light dust but the technology to use it.

And my other theory is it won't be Weiss who instigated it, but...

Theory.

Whilst watching that broadcast, there was a facial expression here, (I can't remember the exact word off top of my head but I remember at the time thing. 🤔 Wtf, is that?. I think it was something about helping)

I'm also thinking about the huge point that had been made that whitley was left behind by his sisters, the staff aren't there, he's practically by himself. (I'm of the belief willow is sobering up and trying to practice her weapon/summoning)

Whitley is very lonely. He's also seeing that the army cannot do what huntsmen can. He has the resources at his disposal.

I can see him being the one to try to gets his sister's attention and telling her.

"We can use the mansion as a safe haven. Open the doors.

And Willow coming down and agreeing.

Whitley can finally feel like he's worth something other than a pawn of his father.

Not as a huntsmen. But in the spirit of one, helping those who need it.

4 years ago

Winter, and maybe Emerald:

Winter, And Maybe Emerald:

jaune makes everyone dinner. how do they react?

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thesapsmith - Mostly Nonsense
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