Latest Posts by theslytherinbigot - Page 5

“I’ll just rest my eyes” is the biggest lie you’re going straight to snorkmimimi land

THIS IS THE FULL MOON EXPERIENCE

When your enemy is about the same height as your ex-wife, and the muscle memory kicks in 😔

When you want to bully your enemy, and they kiss you on the cheek 😔

This is the late night/early morning prompt for radio apple week!

You know a fanfic hits you hard when you close your phone or whatever you are reading on for a few minutes and just stare into the void cause holy motherfucking son of a bitch

every time i listen to “you’re a mean one mr. grinch” i can’t help but sit there and think “what did the grinch do to hurt you?” because dude just stands there for 2 minutes and 58 seconds and drags the grinch into the dirt

he's out of character TO YOU. i know him though.

Okay, you know what? After reading this post, I jokingly said we should all just make a pact to reblog it five times a day forever. So I'm gonna do this louder for the people in the back:

AO3 WAS CREATED BY FANS, FOR FANS

AO3 IS RUN BY FANS (VOLUNTEERS, NO LESS)

AO3 IS PART OF THE NON-PROFIT, ORGANIZATION FOR TRANSFORMATIVE WORKS

AO3 IS NOT OWNED BY ANY COMPANIES AND DOES NOT EARN REVENUE

AO3 OPERATES ON DONATIONS FROM FANS

again:

AO3 WAS CREATED BY FANS, FOR FANS

Why fic no climb out of my head and lie down in paper? Why must I write fic? ☹

being poor is traumatic. even if you’re not homeless or starving. never being able to get anything nice for yourself, never being able to go out to eat without feeling guilty, never being able to do anything fun that isn’t free, making you housebound in bad weather because you can’t afford to go to a cafe or a movie. it takes a toll. being poor under capitalism makes your life a waking nightmare. this post must be reblogged by everyone.

"thank you, your the best" I say to the inanimate object that did it's job amazingly

“really?” I say to inanimate objects that are not working like they usually do

Why am I like this

Y'all are amazing. Reblog to hug the person you’re reblogging from.

REBLOG if you have amazing talented artist friends!

I swear no fic altered my brain chemistry the way Running on Air did. If you look inside my head, you will probably find a shrine dedicated to that fic.

REBLOG THIS TO GIVE THE PERSON YOU REBLOGGED THIS FROM A GOLD STAR BECAUSE THEY’VE BEEN STELLAR TODAY AND THEY DESERVE IT ⭐️

I think I might wanna try making this but no guarantees

I was hoping to do a better job of presenting this AU, but life is against me. So, messy sketch of Dragon!Ron, Kneazle!Hermione and Basilisk!Harry (my dear).

Magic works in numbers, but sometimes numbers can be used against Magic. When T. M. Riddle did so (Seven against all that is pure), Magic retaliated. She found Three to defy him. Three to restore balance. And they were almost ready.

They just needed to be different.

Being bitten by a Norwegian Ridgeback, morphed by a Kneazle's DNA and infected with Basilisk venom and Phoenix tears can be just what they needed. Side effects, sadly, weren't anticipated.

Hermione, for example, could have never believed she would be the heat-pillow of two cold-blooded bastards. Literally. Thankfully Ron—much to his chagrin—could use the flames of the fireplace instead of her fur.

Which was good for her, because she would rather hug Harry.

Not that she would ever tell him, of course.

Y'all I'm never fucking leaving, this is my resting place.

My brain is bouncing between Rosekiller, Wolfstar, Jegulus, and Drarry. I'm fucing trapped.

"You can't be a lurker on tumblr." Yes, you absolutely can. I've been quietly reblogging things since 2014 and I haven't interacted with anyone in years.

this site really hates people with ocd

Gay Panic?

First year:

James, casually: So my uncle has a husband.

Sirius, shocked: You can do that?

James: Yeah, I reckon so.

-

Second year:

Sirius: So I have a gay uncle too.

James, not really bothered: Weird, mate. Guess a lot of people are gay.

Sirius, a bit contemplative: Hahaha. Weird.

-

Third year:

Sirius, nervously: Do you ever want to kiss people?

James: Girls, right? You mean girls?

Sirius, even more nervously: Erm, yeah. Girls.

James: Yeah, I like Evans. She’s like…bossy-hot.

-

Fourth year:

Remus: So…I'm gay.

Sirius, having a gay crisis: Ohhhh! Erm, we support you!

James, also panicking, thinking of gay Regulus: Yes. We're allies!

Sirius, still internally panicking: Such allies.

-

Fifth year:

Sirius, freaking out again: So, you know how we're like…allies?

James, paranoid, worried Sirius saw him staring at Reggie: Yeah?

Sirius: Allies can have like…gay dreams, right? And still be straight?

James, relieved: Oh. Oh, yeah! Absolutely. I do, too! And I'm a thousand percent straight.

-

Sixth year:

Sirius, really having a crisis after Remus returned to school six inches taller: It's totally normal as a straight person to have a crush on another bloke, right?

James, still fully in denial even though he's been stalking Reg on the Map: Erm, yeah. Definitely. We're both straight.

-

Seventh year:

Sirius, having just kissed Remus: So actually Im definitely gay and I'm dating Moony and that crush and those dreams were all very gay.

James: Well FUCK what am I, then?

Drarry from that sectumsempra scene

love the classic damsel in distress trope, but the damsel in question is a pathetic fictional man bleeding out in the dark somewhere on the floor before his ridiculously gorgeous knight comes for his rescue just when he’s about to pass out, and the ridiculously gorgeous knight in question is actually a deranged villain who is his archenemy. but they both have these frustratingly unresolved sexual tension going on where they both hate each other but are also super possessive and protective of each other in the sense that no one else can hurt this little guy but me!!!! and so the knight carries his pathetic damsel in his arms bridal style back to his goth castle where they have hot, kinky gay sex ever after (after he nurses his pathetic enemy’s ass back to health, of course, can’t risk bruising our fragile damsel when he’s already half dead).

girls r like "but he's my comfort character" and then it's literally the most emotionally traumatized man you have ever seen ever

jk r*wling would absolutely fucking hate what we've done to her story. and im relishing in this knowledge.

welcome to the marauders fandom <3

To the long hair Regulus haters

Guys, it's just hair. It grows and shortens, and all that. It's just hair

Honestly that's so true

joining the marauders fandom is so chaotic like it always starts off with jily or wolfstar

you learn about jily and then slowly you get immersed in wolfstar until suddenly you’re obsessed

and then it’s just like no i’ll stay here this is good and then you get into the fics

and then you get exposed to dorlene and bartylus and rosekiller and marylily/pandalily and all the ships and then slowly slowly you become a diehard jegulus shipper until somehow you’re here, obsessing over a ton of dead fictional men yet more lesbian than ever

it’s called maturity ig