The Table

The Dictum

I chose to stay silent,

I chose to avoid violence.

I chose to be alone,

I chose to remain unknown.

I chose to accept them,

The people who hid behind the mask of a friend.

I let myself suffer,

Welcoming the troubles

I cried considering my unfaithful life,

A dictum.

But in all of this,

How was I the victim?

~ark

The Changed Tables

The tables stood there,

Watching new faces every year.

The words unsaid,

Were written on them everywhere.

Tired minds laid,

The tables wiped the shed tears.

Handling the burden of books,

It was their duty,

That I couldn't share.

Years after, I visited them,

Venting out my fears.

The tables stood there,

Watching new faces every year.

But today they had changed,

Maybe I could've changed earlier.

~ark

The Right Abode

At the station of doubts, I looked for the wheels of the answer's train. Colliding with people alike, Our luggage carried the same weight. Watching many moving ahead, Towards their right abode, I tried to cater more time, hiding my defeated face.

I peeked inside each of the trains, Trying ensure that I wouldn’t drown, rather, someday sail. Lost in the lost crowd, I searched for an abode that my destiny had framed.

Finally, finding one down a new track, I tried to board it with all my luggage. The bags tossed away by the crowd, I found them etched with my fears’ name.

It was then I realised, I had ruined my life, Thinking they belonged to my unhealed pain.

~ark

I write when I'm sad cause I'm pretty busy when I'm happy.

What Do I Do?

While I dwelled in one of my prayers, I still asked for more. The universe listened closely, Numerous missed calls on my phone. They say, a human ends with diminishing aspirations, But was it coming from my core? What's the point of achieving anything, When my body doesn't belong to my soul, When I don't even belong to myself anymore.

~ark

The Ugly Desire

I wondered why they would stab me,

When I have already died.

But who knew, in the alleys of the town,

My cowardness made me imitate them, a guide.

To hear their crumbling sound, my blind desire,

I stepped on the dried leaves,

who lived my life.

~ark

To be Known, To be Lost

I broke free Too tired to survive in monotony Too tired of being recognised, known to anybody.  The urge to just disappear lingered,  To become a part of something new,  To feel new, to dissolve, to be lost completely. 

But in the process of, Filtering myself to feel unique, Escaping to gain my own autonomy, The desire to belong, My willingness to surrender, Made me realise that I was nothing more than a selfish body. Transient beings, their desires - ugly.  To be bound, to be known, to be contradictory.  I confined myself to have nothing, But a fleeting identity.    

Plethora of thoughts came to my mind, But I chose not to write. Not because I couldn't find words for the same, But because the paper was unable to carry such pain.

~ark

Chaos.

My mind and heart are always in chaos. Their conflicts are my contemplations, their silence my dilemma. 

Their contradicting desires to fulfil a single temptation, their yearning to solve something unsolvable. And that’s what keeps me going. Thinking, understanding, then losing it and then reassuring. 

For the cycle to go on, they must stand at opposite ends so the boat doesn’t sink.

They must act parallel to walk together until my last breath.

But then, how will peace be achievable? For how long must this war go on? One must find content, one must feel fulfilled. 

We choose how we live. Life is a series of them, like every mountain followed by a valley. Pain followed by bliss, riot followed by peace. Read it backwards and the perspective differs. 

And at every turn, isn’t every choice, a war of wants?

Peace isn’t constant, a result of constant choices rather. Choice to stay silent and then speak, choice to find peace in war or war in peace.

Thereby, I choose to find solace in conflict. 

Between heart and mind

They must be against each other so that I can stand against the world.

Sometimes I don't care about what people think, Because I've already thought about it on their behalf.

~ark