This.

What Do I Do?

While I dwelled in one of my prayers, I still asked for more. The universe listened closely, Numerous missed calls on my phone. They say, a human ends with diminishing aspirations, But was it coming from my core? What's the point of achieving anything, When my body doesn't belong to my soul, When I don't even belong to myself anymore.

~ark

How difficult it was to accept that you were never the one. Lying in the shadows of others, no source of light until they leave. It was never envy or jealousy, just question marks.

Just wondering where you were lacking. No matter the efforts, no matter how much of your time invested, you were just never good enough. The weighing scale always rose upwards at your side, the lines of progress descending. 

Life is a competition, I believe it too, As always, I prepared to achieve something, But somehow found myself standing in the “I wish, I could” queue.

Participation matters the most, they say, but those symbols of achievement just never reflected you. 

~ark

There were two reasons I was scared to let people in; the damage they could do, and the damage they could find.

Chris Mc Geown

What a dilemma..

~ark

I Must Be

I have to be relatable to be seen,

I must feel the same to be heard.

I have to be patient and listen to their empty words,

I must be caring to make them feel like home.

I must remain unknown to make them known.

I have to make them feel happy,

I must compliment their flaws.

Standing in the courtroom,

I must face a trial for breaking the laws.

I should have a bad memory,

Forgetting everything

And move on,

I must apologise for not becoming their lifeless doll.

~ark

And the highlighter of mundanity, Bathed the whole book.

~ark

The Chase

I forgot the date,

But remembered the day.

I forgot the location,

But remembered the place.

Forgetting the words,

I remembered the face.

Even though, it was completely ruined,

I remembered the taste.

The years forgotten,

I tried to forget the phase.

Maybe it was time,

To let go of the chase.

~ark

My Happy Ending

I know very well, That the end is near. But still, I believe that it's not the end of the world. I just keep sitting, fearing it, thinking about it, But I don't know why, I don't act for change, I don't change for the same.

I know that if I try, I may make it. But the fear of what if, Makes me stationary. Even after its monumental importance for me, I don't act, I don't change.

They say, everything has a happy ending, But what if I don't want it to end? Because if it doesn't, I wouldn't have to act, I wouldn't have to change. It appears so easy being stationary.

But it's not the same, As for the poison of fear, Is consuming me gradually. And that ending is the only way, I could get rid of it.

I don't know if it'll be a happy ending or not, But it'll end for sure, Even if I don't wanna act, Even if I don't wanna change, I have to act, I have to change. For my happy ending.

~ark

And then, I found home in an unfamiliar voice, And peace in the familiar noise.

~ark