I’m Such A Idiot

I wonder if this is a good time to rebrand. 😂

10 Questions to Ask a Pot, BEFORE Starting an Arrangement:

Its more common than we admit, that when we first begin to communicate with a “rich and generous” Pot, that we tend to tread lightly as we don’t want to (or are scared to) rock the boat. In my opinion, thats just bullshit. If I’m putting my time, my body, safety, energy, goals and dreams, plus my physical and mental health on the line, you better believe I want some answers first before crossing any lines and agreeing to any arrangement.

It’s important to ask thought provoking questions (not just the make-us-look-cute-small-talk kinda questions) and to really pay attention to their responses. Are they sincere, well thought out and organized answers or are they taking pick-up lines straight out of a book that could possibly be called “How To Get Laid For Free”

If I was talking to a Pot (or any man or woman at any stage) and they were offended/outraged or even hesitant to answer any of the questions listed below…that would give me something to think about. After-all, its not like I would be asking them to start a formal judicial hearing…I just want to know what I’d be getting myself into. Plain and simple.

1) Why are you looking for a Sugar Baby, and not a girlfriend?

* Maybe he doesn’t fully realize what a Sugar Baby is, and just thinks you’ll be a girlfriend that he has to pay for all your dinners together and get the popcorn while you’re out at the movies? It’s happened before. This is a simple way to put it out there, that there is going to be a definite difference between you and a girlfriend.

2) So far, (because its still new) what is your favourite aspect about me?

* This is important. If he is blunt and says “its your intelligence”, then go get some current news articles, or popular and classic books and stay informed my friend! If he says “its your athletic ability”, take him out to play beach volleyball on a nice day, or go to the gym together for a date. If he says “its your chest”…well then, that’s up to you to either play it up or smack him. In my opinion, I would do whatever I felt worked to keep him hooked…but without affecting my self esteem or self worth. His role is to help lift you up in life, not hold you down.

3) What are 3 passions that you used to enjoy and what are some new ones that you currently do?

* This will give you an opportunity to enliven some of your dates by sharing his past passions with him, and by making sure that even if you don’t enjoy his current ones…that you make the effort to either watch or participate in them for him. He will feel valued and it’ll help strengthen your bond if you can connect with things that he enjoys. Who knows, maybe he has given up on certain passions in life because his wife or current girlfriend hates them. It’s an easy and fun “in” for you.

4) What goals are you working towards now?

* A man without a goal(s) is a scary thing. There is not one person in this world who can honestly say that they have completed all of their life’s goals and can now sit on their butt, twiddling their thumbs for the rest of their life. Goals do not need to glamorous, extensive or expensive. They can be the very smallest of things, but to me, a person without a goal has no drive, lacks motivation and doesn’t have that “gusto” in life that I’m looking for. PLUS, if someone has no goals or lacks the desire to create one…how can I expect them to be understanding of, and to support me in achieving mine?

5) If we were ever seen out in public together, how would you want me to handle the situation. What could I expect from you?

* I have had this talk before with my SD, and thankfully so! There have been times where we have been out together and we have run into (or close to it) someone that we knew. Thankfully we don’t play in the same social circles, so it helps to limit our chances. One of our easiest “cover stories” is manageable because I am his daughters age. If someone comes up to us, I politely say something like this “Oh, I’ve kept you long enough. Please tell Tina that I said hi, and it was nice running into you!” And then I politely make my way somewhere else and just send him a text of where I am or whatever it is that I’ll be doing to keep me busy until he is in the clear. And I wait patiently. I do not send 20 texts and carry on a conversation with him. At this point in the game of privacy…I no longer exist, right ladies?

6) If we were to have a “sleep over”, would you be ok with me taking some time to myself? What do you feel would be an appropriate amount of time to ourselves before coming back together?

* Trust me, if you’re like me, you’ll want your own space so that you have time to relax, unwind, clean up, catch up on texts/messages, have a nap, enjoy a tea etc. He may be the type of person who doesn’t want or need to have time apart, but that doesn’t mean that you should hide/ignore your need for some space. If you do not have some sort of understanding beforehand, it could get ugly if you begin to get annoyed at or with him. I most definitely need my “me” time and I’m very upfront about it. Its simply easier to have the conversation and expectations agreed to BEFORE you decide to spend 24 hours together.

7) When we text, are there certain words/language/innuendos that you’d prefer to avoid?

* If he is the “nervous first time SD” or if he has a curious wife/spouse, you may need to help him feel at ease, by stating that you respect this part of your arrangement and that you want to work with him to keep any suspicions to a minimum. It could help to relax you and him, if you both know what the rules and expectations are when communicating. You don’t want to be saying things like “Ok sweetie, I’ll see you tomorrow and I’ll wear the red dress you bought me. XO”…and his wife has access to his phone. That could back fire on you both, not just him. It’s simple and easy to create code words/sentences. For example: if you want to say “Thinking of you, good night”, you could say something like “I’ll see what Jackson says tomorrow”. And you’ll both know what it really means, and if anyone happens to pick up his phone and read it, its harmless and safer to cover/explain.

Remember not to take it personal that you are a hidden aspect to his life, that sometimes you’re simply not allowed to exist, that you are a “secret”…because you are. Do you want him as an SD or not? There are just some things that we need to put our pride aside for and do to keep their lives running smoothly, so that our lives do as well.

8) If I ever needed extra financial help, for whatever reason, and I felt that I wanted/needed to ask you for your assistance, how would you prefer me to ask? Subtly or straight to the point?

* Some men are turned off by feeling like a bank machine, while others get turned on by it. It’s important to know which kind of response you could expect from him by asking for extra help. This way, you’ll have a better idea of how best to use your allowance when you get it. If he’s not the easy going-extra-help-kinda-guy, there is nothing wrong with that at all…it simply means that you need to prioritize your wants over needs and use your allowance, or money that he does give to you, responsibly.

Some arrangements have more wiggle room for “extras” while others are based on strict numbers and rules. If you do feel that you are going to ask for extra support…start small and assess his responses/reactions to you. You’ll get a feel of whether you should push the boundaries or simply enjoy the benefits of what you already share with him. “Don’t throw away a dime in search of 10 pennies”.

9) What is the safest way for you to give me my allowance, so that you don’t feel stressed each month in trying to hide it from your wife/girlfriend?

* If he doesn’t know what’s the safest way, he may be a ping-pong ball while he uses/tries different methods and amounts, until he can get it all figured out. This actually does take some time to plan safely and effectively, and most new SD’s don’t give it the due planning that it requires. Are you going to be patient and understanding with him? Or are you going to start heckling him and demanding quicker transactions? Either way, it’s best to have a conversation about it, and get it all sorted out before your allowance day arrives, and you have 3 bills to pay…while you’re waiting for him to do a google search on “email transfers”.

10) I recently watched a documentary on the Sex Industry and I’d like to hear your thoughts and opinions on both those who offer their services and on those who seek them?

* This is an easy opener to get the ball rolling for more questions on this topic. It will also give you some insight into his biases, narcissism and his general opinion on where you stand in your “arrangement” with him. Is he negative towards the Sex Industry or is he a whatever floats your boat kinda guy?

So…that about sums it up for today!

Of course, I realize that there are a ton of other questions that you could ask a Pot/SD etc, that all relate to things like allowance amount, allowance frequency, sexual expectations, gifts or no gifts, sexual health history, previous Sugar arrangements, any marital issues that he is seeking your comfort/assistance for etc etc, but at some point I need to stop today lol. I’m actually missing one of my favourite shows to write this. So, I hope that this list helps in some teeny-tiny way, and if anything, it gets your mind thinking of other possible scenarios that you may want to consider before agreeing to an arrangement with anyone.

Good luck ;)

This man really telling these young girls and women to fuck man that has no car and to look past the financial aspect of life for love. Are you fucking kidding me 😂. WOMEN DO NOT LISTEN TO THIS SHIT EVEN IF YOU ARE A “INDEPENDENT” WOMEN YOU STILL GONNA GET PLAYED. He literally even says if a guy has to take a bus to get to your pussy then he’s worthy of fucking. Come the fuck on 🤧

Remember ladies level up and get that bag. He’s just another pick me man who probably gotta his heart broken.

-Sugartingz

 i really luv girls who spoil themselves and who are self-absorbed and cocky and know that they’re fly and popping like ugh yes

So this guy is really going to inquire about another provider I reposted on my Twitter feed to me. Like he @ me asking about a inquiry. Little ole me redirected him to my email and he like “I wasn’t asking about you. I was asking about so and so” if that’s the case why didn’t you just dm her? I’m embarrassed and shit 😂.

self concept affs:

“pretty girls always get what they want and I am a perfect example of that.”

“my presence is a present.”

“I am always the top priority, nothing and no one comes before me.”

“I love myself unconditionally.”

“I am important, I am deserving and I am worthy.”

“I never seek the validation of others for fulfillment because I am already fulfilled within.”

“I am completely secure with myself.”

“abundance is my nature state, my success is inevitable.”

How Many Appointments

Do you need to make your bills?

How many appointments do you need to make double your bills?

How many appointments do you need to make triple your bills?

How many appointments do you need to make quadruple your bills?

Let’s have an example:

Sally has expenses including her food/gas/bills/rent every month that total $3,500.00

For a lot of people that is a lot of money. For sex workers that is a lot of money, but for some sex workers that is what we can make in a week and some of us can make that in a day.

So let’s say that Sally charges $300 per hour. We aren’t going to go into multi-hour theories right now, just hours. So Sally needs 11.6 (Let’s round up to 12) one hour appointments to make her bills every month. So if Sally has weekends off she needs to see 3 clients a week to pay her bills. 

But let’s go monthly. 

One Month Bills = 12 clients (3 per week) $3,600 

Double her Bills = 24 Clients (6 per week) $7,200

Triple Her Bills = 36 Clients (9 per week) $10,800

Quadruple her bills = 48 Clients (12 per week) $14,400

So what should Sally do?

Sally needs to diversify and raise her rates (according to me) but how do you make that work? 

You create a business model that forces men who want to see you to pay a higher amount because they perceive it as a better value. 

So let’s say that Sally charges $300 for an hour but only $400 for 90 minutes and $500 for 2 hours. Most men would opt for the 90 minute or 2 hour appointment because it seems like the best value.

Now that Sally has changed her rate structure to include a more incentive driven pricing tier she will probably gain higher end clients who want to spend a little more money because they see it as being a good value.

And who doesn’t like a good value?

So now Sally needs to see 7 men a MONTH to reach her goal to pay her bills.

SEVEN as opposed to TWELVE

Sure, the appointment may be a bit longer, but realistically - she’s not doing THAT much more work in a 2 hour date that she’d do in a 1 hour date and she’s decreased her foot traffic by 5 clients.

One Month Bills = 7 clients (about 2 per week) decreased by 5 - $3,500 

Double her Bills = 14 Clients (about 4 per week) decreased by 10 - $7,000

Triple Her Bills = 21 Clients (between 5-6 per week) decreased by 15 - $10,500

Quadruple her bills = 28 Clients (7 per week) decreased by 20 - $14,000

So ladies, while you may want to START high in reality what you need to be thinking about is at what price point are men really booking you? 

I wrote a piece a while back called Overpricing Yourself In A Saturated Market that discusses your rate structure and how to properly structure your rates. With this in mind consider the above. While many women want to go all out and start out at $500 & above the truth is that what you need to be concerned about is at what price point are men comfortable booking you? 

I have the luxury of having a pretty solid client base. Most of my dates are dinner dates and overnight dates with well established clients. I do have the occasional date that is one hour or even two but for the most part over half of my dates consist of those that net me $750 or above. 

Your rates should not be an emotional decision. You should price yourself based on what the economic situation can bear in your home city and what you have figured, mathematically, that you need to earn to reach your goals.

If your goal is to make the $2000 you need for your bills and that is it… then do not price yourself out of what your current market can bear. Do not look at taking lower amounts of cash per appointment as an indicator of your self worth because it is not.

Again - who you are as a person is priceless - what you sell your time for has a price tag. You are not the number you put on the screen. You are not the rate that someone pays for your time. 

Now, why is it important to set a weekly goal for the clients that you need to see to meet your financial goals? 

Because you do not want to get burned out in this industry. Even making $14,000 a month and seeing 7 clients a week for $500 per appointment Sally can hit her mark early in the week and if needed - take some time off - because she has already hit her mark for making her monthly bills. 

The rest of the month should be Sally working to stack her cash, improve herself, take care of her family, go to school, travel & recharge.

If you do not have weekly goals you are limiting yourself. 

To be a successful escort you MUST give yourself time to recharge. It is as important as having condoms and lube. Do not think that “I won’t get burned out.” 

Because you will. 

We all do.

I do hope this encourages some of you to start setting goals and to seriously sit down and evaluate where your money is going and what you are doing with it. If you do not have a budget I sincerely suggest you make one. 

Personally I track all of my money via Intuit and for a quick app I use Spendbook.

If you have a favorite app for setting a budget please reblog or comment below with what you’re using and what you like about it. 

Rich older men don’t want to be used for their money but only seek out young attractive girls to use for their looks/sex.

This man is the real MVP.

Ig: creme_de.la_femme