Latest Posts by timetobetraumatised - Page 8

I GOT 10 MINUTES LEFT OF BEING A TEENAGER I GOTTA DO SOMETHING REBELLIOUS UH

It always gets me that the name "Gandalf" literally just means "Wand-Elf" or "Stick-Elf". I'm imagining old Gondorians just being like:

Librarian: I saw that weird guy at the library again today.

Guard 1: What weird guy?

Librarian: The old guy with the beard? Kinda elfy-looking, apart from the beard?

Guard 1: Oh, with the big-ass stick?

Librarian: Yeah, looked like he was carrying an entire tree branch.

Guard 2: Yeah, that's the Stick Elf.

Guard 1: Hell yeah, I fuckin' love the Stick Elf.

Librarian: The "Stick Elf"?

Guard 2: He comes by every few years, usually after some weird book or other.

Librarian: Oh. Yeah, he wanted a treatise on goblin breeding habits.

Guard 2: Like, how they have sex? We have books on that?

Librarian: Yeah, turns out we do. I was as surprised as you are.

Guard 1: What'd the Stick Elf need a fuckin' goblin-fuckin' book for?

Librarian: I didn't ask. So you just call him "Stick Elf"?

Guard 2: I mean, he looks kinda elfy and he always has that stick, so, like, yeah.

Guard 1: Dude also has some fuckin' dope pipeweed.

Guard 2: Oh yeah, his pipeweed is awesome.

Librarian: How long has he been coming here?

Guard 2: Oh, for decades. He's, like, super old.

Guard 1: More like fuckin' centuries. Dude's old as balls.

Guard 2: Wait, really?

Guard 1: Yeah, my gran-gran used to talk about him. She loved his pipeweed too.

Librarian: So he's… an immortal pipeweed dealer?

Guard 2: I think he's just, like, a connoisseur. He doesn't sell it or anything. He just always has some really top-notch pipeweed on him.

Archivist: Oh, are we talking about Stick Elf?

Guard 1: Hell yeah we are!

Librarian: You know about the Stick Elf, too?

Archivist: Oh, totally. Stick-Elf's a super chill dude. Gave me some awesome pipeweed when I was maybe 12, and tee-bee-aitch I think I'm still a little buzzed from it.

Guard 1: What'd I tell ya, fuckin' dope pipeweed!

Archivist: Also he's really old.

Guard 1: Old as balls.

Librarian: Yeah, so Éodan and Jenniforomir were telling me.

Archivist: My grandpa used to tell me stories - he said one time he saw Stick Elf enter a smoke-ring contest.

Guard 1: Ooh, I'll bet he kicked fuckin' ass.

Archivist: Apparently the guy made an entire warship out of smoke and it flew around shooting down the other rings.

Librarian: And how much of this "fuckin' dope" pipeweed had your grandfather had by this point?

Guard 1: No no, that's totally plausible. Dude's got weird elf powers and shit for sure.

Archivist: He brought fireworks for the king's birthday one year, too.

Guard 1: Oh fuck, I forgot about those! Fuckin' incredible fireworks! Dragons and knights and glowy trees and shit! I was fuckin' 6 years old or something, they totally blew my mind. Hey Éodan, did you see that shit?

Guard 2: No, I think that's before I lived in Gondor.

Guard 1: Wait, you're not from here?

Guard 2: Oh, no, I grew up in Rohan. We moved here when I was, like, thirteen because my uncle Éojeff said he could get my dad a sweet job. And also that there were houses that didn't smell like horseshit.

Guard 1: Oh shit, are you related to Éojeff and Éosteve who run that æbleskiver stand on Norndîl St?

Guard 2: Yeah, they're my uncles!

Guard 1: Shit, they cook a fuckin' great æbleskiver!

Librarian: Ok, hold up a sec, "Stick Elf" can't possibly be his real name.

Guard 1: Why not?

Librarian: What? You think his parents named him in the hopes that he would carry around a fucking tree when he got older?

Guard 2: Maybe they gave him the tree when he was born!

Archivist: I don't think a baby could carry that stick.

Guard 1: You ever seen a baby hanging onto something? They're hella strong.

Archivist: It's not a strength thing, their hands are tiny. That staff is enormous!

Guard 1: My halberd's bigger 'n I am, I can hold it just fine.

Archivist: You're not a baby.

Librarian: Also why would elf parents name their kid "stick ELF"?! Presumably they know that their kid's going to be an elf!

Archivist: Is he actually an elf? I didn't think they grew beards.

Guard 1: How'd he get old as balls if he's not an elf?

Guard 2: His ears aren't that pointy. Maybe he's just a really old guy? Like, a Numémoriam or something?

Guard 1: Did you just say "Numémoriam"?

Guard 2: Nûnenorman? Munimõrbitan? Y'know, those guys like the king that can get super old.

Guard 1: You mean the fuckin' Númenóreans?

Guard 2: Yeah, the Númenóreums.

Archivist: Even the Númenóreans don't live THAT long.

Guard 1: Plus he carries that fuckin' stick around.

Guard 2: Wait, what does the stick have to do with it?

Guard 1: That's an elf thing. Y'know, trees and shit? Very elfy.

Librarian: Ok, look, but his parents naming him "Stick Elf" would be weird whether or not he's an elf. In fact, it's even weirder if he's not - what human names their kid "elf"?

Archivist: Huh. Yeah, you're right, he probably does have another name.

Guard 2: Yeah, I guess so.

Librarian: He's been coming here for decades and nobody's ever asked his real name?

Archivist: I dunno what to tell you, he's Stick Elf. Even his library card just says 'Stick Elf'.

Guard 1: Fuck yeah, the Stick Elf!

Guard 2: Maybe we could, like, ask him his name sometime?

Guard 1: Hey, look, Elrond's over there. He's old as balls too, maybe he knows?

Guard 2: Oh, we shouldn't interru-

Guard 1: HEY ELROND, YOU'RE OLD AS BALLS, RIGHT? WHAT'S THAT OLD ELF WITH THE STICK'S NAME?

Elrond (coming over): Do you mean an old man cloaked all in grey and blue, leaning on a rough-cut staff, who came to the great library this day?

Guard 1: Yeah, the Stick-Elf!

Guard 2: (Sorry to bother you, sir...)

Librarian: He's got to have a real name besides 'the Stick Elf', right?

Elrond: Indeed, for no elf is he. You speak of the wizard Olórin, wisest of the Maiar, older even than Eä itself. Many are his names in many countries: Tharkûn among the Dwarves; Incánus to the south; Mithrandir he is called among my people, the Grey Pilgrim.

Librarian: Oh.

Elrond: And here in the North he is called Stick-Elf.

Librarian: Oh.

Guard 1: Fuck yeah!

tumblr users love reading. you literally stopped for this post just because it has words in it

How does Cal meet Merrin in the fix it au? Does Cordova borrow him for Zeffo research?

omg thats a PERFECT idea yes

(commission info // tip jar!)

laptop overheating?? pour water on it to cool it down!

skeleton of cave bear in Bears Cave, Romania

For anyone who hasn't seen them before, Hidden Search Operators are handy tricks you can use when you're either searching or filtering AO3.

summary: string is a generic way of explaining that you can search AO3 for a specific word that appears in a summary. You can do this from the search bar in the header, from the Any Field box at the top of the Advanced Search form, or from the Search Within Results box at the bottom of the filter menu.

Examples:

summary: Bruce

summary: "Bruce Banner"

summary: Bruce OR summary: Banner OR summary: Hulk

You need to put quotation marks around your search term if it is more than one word. The quotes make sure that the site searches for those two words together.

The other two operators listed work best in the Search Within Results box.

expected_number_of_chapters: 1 will return results where every fic has only 1 chapter currently posted.

You can use expected_number_of_chapters: -1 if you want results where every fic has more than 1 chapter currently posted.

otp:true will return results where there is only 1 relationship tag on the fic. If you want results where there are 2+ relationship tags (and no fics with only 1 relationship tag) then you can use otp:false

Download this easy DIY clothing repair guide (only 10 pages) from Uni of Kentucky

link to PDF

https://fcs-hes.ca.uky.edu/sites/fcs-hes.ca.uky.edu/files/ct-mmb-147.pdf

Sir Edward Burne-Jones, School For Dragon Babies, 1884, pencil on paper

Why do witches like always wanna fatten kids up before they eat them?? fat is like the grossest part of meat

friendly reminder that findtags is the best way to search tumblr’s absolutely destroyed tag system. it actually accurately looks through the tags without omitting results. it’s the only thing i use at this point because it’s the only thing that works

still the most under appreciated joke in recent hermitcraft history...

hey ao3 can you like give the extra $38k you made from this month’s funds drive to charity

Seeing red: Inside The Acolyte's shocking bloodbath and big villain reveal

Honestly, everyone [who already watched ep.5] should read this article. Practically every paragraph deserves a separate post. Aside from Leslye casually dropping gems left and right, I am just overwhelmed with how delightful, smart, and appreciative this team of cast members is. They actually get it, they understand what's at stake, and enjoy every moment of being a part of this story. You just wait until we can all talk about it without fear of spoiling something, people will quote the heck out of these interviews.

Pterocarpus Angolensis is a tree native to South Africa. It’s also commonly known as the bloodwood tree due to the fact that when it’s chopped or damaged, a deep red sap which looks eerily similar to blood, seeps from the tree. In fact, the purpose of the sap is to coagulate and seal the wound to promote healing, much like blood.

Scientists once thought that ADHD symptoms were always present. But previous research from Rapport, who has been studying ADHD for more than 36 years, has shown the fidgeting was most often present when children were using their brains' executive functions, particularly "working memory." That's the system we use for temporarily storing and managing information required to carry out complex cognitive tasks such as learning, reasoning and comprehension.

Here’s full study: https://www.eurekalert.org/news-releases/478386

If you enjoyed this post, please give it a ❤️ and check out @scienceisdope for more science and daily facts.

old gods are waking

The Battle of the five Armies countdown - day 21 of 30

we’reくコ:彡 entering squid territory

 くコ:彡                                                                       くコ:彡                              くコ:彡  くコ:彡                                                        くコ:彡                           くコ:彡 くコ:彡

Download this easy DIY clothing repair guide (only 10 pages) from Uni of Kentucky

link to PDF

https://fcs-hes.ca.uky.edu/sites/fcs-hes.ca.uky.edu/files/ct-mmb-147.pdf

as a child being told "the moon controls the tides" with no additional explanation was like. oh okay. you want me to believe in magic? you're talking about magic right now? okay. fine

i’m sorry but the point of this website is to make jokes and have your dash be unusable while said joke pops off and if you’re not doing that then you’re using it wrong

What Happened to the local Jedi temples from the acolyte during the Jedi purge?

For those unaware, while in EU there were several larger temples / enclaves of Jedi, notably on Dantooine during KOTOR - tbe high republic introduced a similar concept brought up again in the acolyte : smaller, regional temples / monasteries / outposts. Basically a way for the Jedi to have a foothold safe space in the outer rim far from Courascant. Places for them to oversee and help a region and have some sort of base to operate from.

I think “outposts” would’ve been better for the show to have used as it represents their role more - only a handful of Jedi, sparse accomodations just to regroup, recover and oversee an area. But not rly a big deal, since it’s easier shorthand for the function they serve to a new audience than a more militant connontation of “outpost.” But that’s pedantic!

even then, as you say there are Jedi spread throughout. 100 years isn’t THAT long, so can’t automatically assume they all got closed down in the same way if we saw them last 900 years ago.

But they were on the downturn, and in the recent canon novel “the living force” a padawan obi wan mentions years ago he spent time at one and is surprised to learn its since been closed, and there are various other ones having to close down (which has the interesting flourishes of needing officials to formally administer the signing over of the property to planetary gov, jedi masters needing to process and mark sensitive or historic objects and pass them along to the archives , donate other things etc”) , and in comics there are mentioned a couple outposts thag have been abandoned since the high republic - and if that pattern held there’s probably few if any left by TCW.

But I imagine if they’re still using any, which there very well could be a handful, but by that time the clone wars has taken care of that problem: a call for conscription amongst the Jedi would see most of these temples emptied as Jedi are obligated to join the war and are placed alongside clones; seperatist attacks on outer rim worlds would drive remaining Jedi into the core. Plus, if any of those frontier worlds signed on with the seperatists - expelling the jedi would be first on the docket.

So really, I don’t think any would be in use by the time of order 66. Tho there might be those too young, too old or entrusted with other duties deemed essential that for some reason aren’t able to rejoin Courascant. Unlikely but it could happen.

In that case, part of the sub 5% Jedi who survived the initial order 66, they’d be hunted down in the resulting purge - and with a comms blackout it’d likely be among the first places the empire attacks the outposts / local temples are an obvious rallying point and source of Jedi, but also symbolically as a bastion of the Jedi way and light of hope.

the problem with autism is sometimes you want to do something (brave) but you need someone to gently walk you through each step so you know what will happen. and people don’t like doing that