Here's Something Silly That I Haven't Seen Anyone Point Out: Y'know This Section Of Grian's World Tour?

“barbara gordon getting paralyzed for the sake of bruce wayne’s development was misogynist, but oracle is a better mantle for her and she should still be a wheelchair user.” i say into the mic.

the crowd boos. i begin to walk off in shame, when a voice speaks.

“she’s right,” they say. everyone turns to the 5th row, but no one is there. then on the screen behind me: barbara gordon herself.

Cryptid!Alfred, who is actually immortal. Like, he cannot die for forever - he did once, during the war, and after that... for some reason, he kept coming back, completely without any additional magical help. He sometimes dies again, and then mysteriously comes back on the next morning, as if nothing happened. Bruce used to it at some point, so instead of asking questions (Alfred has no answers, anyway) he just pretends that it is normal. He gaslights kids to think the same. Like, what do you mean he died, Damian? No, he is alrightish. Look in the kitchen, he is making us breakfast. It probably was just a bad dream.

So, when Jason dies and gets back? Oh, Alfred knows his grandson has the same curse/blessing. Because it wasn't the Lazarus Pit that brought Jason back after all, but some strange, unexplainable force. Perhaps, both of them are just bound to end up as guardians, as warriors and protectors - that's why they keep coming back.

...Nevertheless, it doesn't make their family less... anxious about the whole thing. These two from the other side? Oh, they absolutely enjoy their immortal hang-out hours.

Jason: What was your funniest death?

Alfred: I am going to say... that one time, when I was teaching young master Bruce using a hunting rifle, and he accidentally shot me. I came back in fifteen minutes, and, of course, a poor thing was sobbing, but afterwards he was doing all chores for a month. Wonderful days.

Jason: Damn, poor Brucie... My funniest gotta be that one time, when Roy and I got drunk, and I legit jumped off the building because I thought I can fly. Roy had never got sober that quick.

(The first time Jason dies on the family's watch)

Dick, sobbing: Alfred... Alfred... He died! His neck was snapped! How can I live-

Alfred, casually leaning to snap Jason's neck again: Wake up, my boy.

Jason, dramatically gasping for air: Damn, who made me a massage, while I was sleeping?

Tim: What. The. Fuck.

Nobody wanted any of this

By LabradoriteKing on Pinterest

Jason, trying to intimidate Tim: you think you can escape me? in the league of assasins they used to call me the executioner. do you know how fucked up you have to be to get an organisation of assassins to give you a murder-centric title?!?! DO YOU?!?!?

Tim, eyes wide: dude i didn’t realise they were your waffles i’m sorry-

Damian in the doorway: they were MY waffles that Todd stole from ME.

Jason:

Tim:

Damian: and for the record nobody called you ‘the executioner’. most of us called you ‘pebbles’ because after you were brought out of the pit we kept finding you throwing pebbles into the pond in the courtyard

Tim, fighting a smirk: …pebbles?

Jason, to Tim: i will slam you up against this wall.

Damian, humming: he does have a strong arm. all that pebble throwing practice.

Jason: OK I WILL CALL YOUR MOTHER-

(jason totally taught damian how to skip rocks instead of training him one morning and damian would rather die than admit its one of his favourite memories)

What ppl think thugs in Gotham are afraid of: Batman

What the thugs in Gotham are actually afraid of: Robin

Bat is stoic with brute force who wants justice, robins do it cuz they feel like it and it’s fun to them.

Hello!

I'm Titanium. The bio sums up quite a lot. However! Here are a few things

I have a hyperfixation/special interest in archaeology. So you'll see some of that

You'll see the rest of my ADHD-fueled madness in what I reblog

I write! I might post about my original stories, and you can find my fanfiction here:

I'm a pastoral ministries student in the Church of the Nazarene!

yeah that's it

Tim: I like how "not my circus, not my monkeys" implies that you DO have a circus, perhaps even with monkeys, but this isn't it.

Dick:

Dick: I do.

Inspo

Update: @werealldieinghere is also here, Cryptid ratted you out

Me and my siblings are slowly discovering just how many of us have tumblr accounts that we just. never communicated about. we find each other, narrow our eyes, and then suddenly a text pops up like "Is that you??"

Sibling pokemon collected so far are @somenewafternoon, @armsmaster-mando, and @the-crypdid-known-as-raye. Are there others? Who knows

I refuse to let DC reboot their way out of a warped timeline. No explaining it away, lean into it.

Tim drake is a 90s kid. He is seventeen, he grew up alongside computers and listens to terrible rock rap. Jason, one year older than him, is from the 80s and the height of the AIDs epidemic. Dick, maybe six years older than Jason, is from the 40s. Babs, five years older than dick, is from the 50s. The year is 2025. Bruce Wayne has just turned 40.