cashier: ok that'll be $20
me (visibly sweating): ah, yes, of course! a perfectly reasonable price for a grilled cheese and a small smoothie! that was exactly the price i expected you to say when i ordered a single grilled cheese and a smoothie and my vision is NOT getting blurry as we speak! i am a perfectly normal temperature and my speech patterns are natural and even because this is the countenance of an individual who expected to pay 20 american dollars for a single grilled cheese and a smoothie!
cashier: where's all that blood coming from
I finally got my tonsils out!! Thank you to everyone who supported me and stood by my side as I removed my stones every night. I will never forget you
You should never judge someone because you don’t know what they’re dealing with inside (tonsil stones)
Happy 10 year anniversary to a festive day in the life of Dan and Phil!!
sue did such a good job building that bathroom closet that i think she missed her true calling as a general contractor
My three girlfriends. And yes, they smoke weed.
WOMEN "BOOBS" CAN MAKE A MAN... CRAZY AAAHAHAHAHHAAHAAHAAAHAHAAHAH
From deadgirlscantlie on pintrist