Q: He’s Using A Stapler As A Mouse. You Moron. You Are Pretty But Stupid.

Darkness Calls

Pairing: Luke Skywalker x F!Jedi!Reader   Summary: As the call of space nearly consumes you, Luke reaches for powers forbidden to a Jedi to keep you safe and deals with the consequences. Warnings: reader gets a leg injury that is briefly mentioned, angst, canon-typical violence, reader almost gets sucked into space, Luke feeling lots of guilt and inner turmoil, mentions of Luke having insomnia and nightmares/PTSD, slow burn/mutual pining. A/N:  Comments and reblogs are greatly appreciated. Stay tuned for part 2 and enjoy!

**

Blaster fire made an impenetrable web through the ship’s wide, X-shaped hallways and it had become impossible to determine which shot belonged to which side. Even armed with the Force and your lightsabers, you, Luke, and the other rebels were hopelessly outnumbered. Your teams had been so close to gaining control of the imperial cruiser’s bridge, which would’ve made capturing the necessary plans much easier. But you’d been overrun with reinforcements at the last second via the porthole at the end of the main thoroughfare. Han and Leia had led their team down a hallway to your left twenty minutes ago, yelling something about the hangar and the dropship docked at the porthole that was hard to discern over all the commotion. 

You glanced at Luke across the hall, his blue eyes wide and chest heaving as he caught his breath. His flesh hand gripped the hilt of his green saber so hard, you could see his knuckles turning white. Closing your eyes, you sank into the Force to sense precisely how many Stormtroopers flooded the hallway in between and could feel your fellow Jedi doing the same. 

On three, he sent to you through the Force. One…two…

“Three,” you whispered before the two of you jumped into the fray as one, doing your best to block the onslaught from the imperial’s blasters. The best you could hope for at this point was to deflect their own shots back at them and dwindle their numbers. The path to the bridge had been thoroughly blocked and Han and Leia either needed to get their asses in gear, or a path needed to be cleared for R2 to work his magic without being fried. 

Just as you thought you were getting somewhere, loud footsteps crashed in the distance and a wave of Dark Troopers picked up the slack. 

“There are too many!” Luke cried, motioning to the teams behind him who were desperately trying to provide cover. “Fall back—”

As if fate itself was pranking you, the blast doors suddenly closed off the left and right hallways to trap your peers. You and Luke stepped forward so they could file down the hallway directly behind you, providing as much cover as you could while several rebels traded off shooting the enemy and making a run for it. 

Suddenly, C3PO and R2 came scurrying towards you from behind. “Oh, Master Luke!” the protocol droid cried, his hands waving frantically up near his face. 

“Not now, 3PO!” he growled. “Head back with the others!” R2 whizzed ahead of his companion. “R2, no—”

“But Princess Leia and Captain Solo said to clear the—”

Before he could finish, the blast doors directly behind you slammed shut just as R2 passed the threshold. You cursed. “What now? They’ve pinned us in!”

Luke shot you a worried look. “I don’t know. They’re jamming our comms, too. I can’t get a hold of Han or Leia.”

A sudden mechanical buzzing from R2 caught your attention long enough to make you clumsy. You cried out in pain as a shot seared your leg and stumbled back a few steps, falling right on the astromech’s dome. 

R2 tittered in concern just as Luke stepped in front of you. “Get behind me!”

“I am behind you,” you grumbled, quickly realizing that R2 hadn’t budged at all when you’d fallen into him, which could only mean one thing: his feet were magnetized. 3PO’s message of Han and Leia wanting you to clear something rang through your head…

Oh. Oh no. 

“LUKE!”

But you’d made the realization too late. The magnetic shield separating the porthole from the rest of the ship went dead with a flicker of blue light and a whirl as you realized the imperials hadn’t boxed you in—Han and Leia had boxed you out. Or, at least, tried to. 

“Get back!” you screeched at the remaining rebels, motioning towards the meager available space in the hallways to your left and right. Just as they dove for cover, the dropship at the end of the hall ripped away from the port hole, violently shaking the ship and making you lose your footing before you could finish regaining it. 

The deafening whoosh of wind entered the corridor as the Dark and Stormtroopers were sucked out the hole now staring straight into space. A few of your comrades who had been too slow went with them just as R2 whipped out a retractable arm to tuck both your and Luke’s lightsabers safely in his compartment. 

Luke let out a cry of surprise as you both went flying towards the exit. He made quick work of grabbing a pipe going up one wall with his flesh hand and grabbing your wrist with the gloved one. 

The force trying to separate the two of you was overwhelming as Luke’s fingers dug into your wrist hard enough to bruise. He alternated between checking that he had a good grip on the pipe and turning terrified eyes to you. As you glanced towards your feet, the yawning hole was almost hypnotic and stole the breath from your lungs. 

“Don’t look down!” Luke shouted over the gale, repeating it in your head through the Force to make sure you heard. “Just focus on me!”

You turned your gaze back to him as he tightened his grip on you even more. You could feel how much he was straining as he used the Force to help pull himself closer to the pipe and could see just how much his perfectly tailored jacket clung to his muscles as they worked—

Really? you said to yourself, hoping Luke hadn’t heard your thoughts. You’re gonna think about that right now?

Just as Luke pulled you closer to the pipe so you could grab it yourself, your wrist slipped from his grasp for just a moment. 

“NO!” he screeched, his voice and face more terrified than you’d ever seen him. Fear flooded you just as you caught his gloved fingers. No matter how dire things seemed, you’d always felt comforted by the fact that Luke was not only with you, but typically the calmer, steadier one. But if the amount of terror and desperation you sense in him was anything to go by, you weren’t sure how you would get out of this one. 

“Please hang on!” Luke said, tilting his head up to scan the rest of the hallway. “R2, where are you?!”

The astromech zipped to and fro, trying different wall sockets to no avail. They must’ve been jammed or the magnetic shield required a specific one he hadn’t found yet. You looked down to barely make out another socket just ahead of the door. “R2, it’s down there—kriff!” 

Luke screamed your name as your hand began to slip from his. He held on tighter, but the smooth leather of his glove just made your hold even more slippery. “Hold on, please!”

Afraid this might be your last chance, you took a moment to memorize the shape of his body, the contours of his face, the way his hand felt in yours, the way his golden-brown hair whipped in the wind, the way his Force signature felt so soothing, calming, and like home against you (even in all its unbridled terror). 

“I need you, please!” he begged in a tone that was so frantic, it felt uncharacteristic of him. You’d never seen him this terrified and felt his Force signature shifting into something heavier—darker—as he called on the Force in whatever way it took to save you. 

“No! Luke, no Dark Side.”

As soon as the words left your mouth and the tone of Luke’s signature began to shift back, the glove suddenly gave way. The darkness beyond had been calling for too long, and you finally had no choice but to answer, ripping the glove off Luke’s cybernetic and flying towards the exit at an incomprehensible speed. Just as you were about to exit the porthole to become one with the stars, you stopped with a sudden jolt. Now, two forces were pulling on your body: the gale dragging you towards infinite nothingness—and the Force, wielded by a powerful Jedi, pulling you back towards safety. 

You groaned against the strain on both sides of your body, watching as R2 hurtled towards you and the socket you were now eye level with. You gasped as you were suddenly ripped up towards the blast doors and shot straight into Luke’s arms. He kept an iron grip on the pipe with one arm and held you tight against his chest with the other. You grabbed the now available pipe to ease his burden while wrapping an arm tightly around his shoulders. He let out a shuddery breath as he buried his face in the juncture of your face and neck and squeezed you hard. His hand carefully migrated down the pipe to wrap his pinky finger around your pointer finger. You could feel him growing tired and the strain in his arm through the Force – and this after he’d already started this mission tired thanks to the sudden surge in his insomnia and nightmares lately. 

“Luke, if it’s too much, you can let me go—”

“No,” he said firmly in your ear. 

“I can hold on—”

“No, I’m not letting you go.”

You relented, squeezing yourself closer to his chest as much as possible with the vacuum of space still trying to rip you both away. You pressed your face into his shoulder and thought he couldn’t possibly hold you tighter, but he did. If you hadn’t been struggling for breath thanks to the current situation, you surely would’ve been from the sheer force of Luke’s embrace. 

Suddenly, everything went still and the pair of you tumbled to the floor in a tangle of limbs. Luke fell flat on his back hard just as you smacked right down on his ribs, leaving him gasping for air. With adrenaline pumping and ears ringing, you took his face in your hands out of pure instinct. “Are you okay?!”

He nodded, keeping a firm grip on your hips as his breathing gradually returned to normal. He finally opened his eyes to look at you and you couldn’t help admiring how he looked breathless underneath you with hair in complete disarray—stop that, we almost died, you told yourself. However, any further thoughts came to a halt as Luke pulled you tight against his chest again and pressed his cheek to yours. His breath blew hot and heavy in your ear as one arm snaked around your waist and the other slid up your spine to hold the back of your head. His fingers gently dug into your hair, smoothing back and forth in a way in a way that made you melt. “Are you okay?”

“Yeah,” you breathed in his ear, indulging yourself for a moment and hugging him back just as fiercely. Your hand was drawn to the nape of his neck to play with his hair, but before you could remove it and apologize, he sighed and you felt him relax beneath you.

His hand moved to cup the back of your neck, gently massaging the tension there. “Maker, sweetheart…”

You withhold your shock at the term of endearment in case it made him let you go. You weren’t ready to be released from the safety of his arms yet and it seemed neither was he. The only times you’d been this close was when you’d both found each other after nightmares—but that had been when you’d both been in a desperate, sleep-addled state, only half aware of what you were doing. You honestly weren’t even sure how many of those moments he remembered when he woke the next morning. But you would jump back out the porthole before you were the one to shatter the illusion. 

Several frantic voices of the soldiers around you suddenly came into laser-sharp focus and you remembered you weren’t alone. Luke, however, held on as tight as ever, seemingly content to lay here with you for hours. You could sense his relief, but also echoes of terror and some other feeling you couldn’t quite put your finger on. 

“Are you sure you’re okay?” you asked again. 

Luke’s hand smoothed up and down your back. “Not a scratch, I promise.”

“No, I mean…when you almost…you know…”

You felt sudden, intense feelings of guilt and shame flood his signature and immediately regretted opening your mouth. 

“I—” he cut himself off to let you go, beginning to roll you both so you laid on your sides. You propped yourself up on your elbow, the absence of his warmth leaving goosebumps all over your body. He avoided your eyes to watch R2 quickly roll towards him. “I’m so sorry, I shouldn’t have—that was…” He sighed, closed his eyes, and shook his head. 

His embarrassment, shame, and frustration with himself was so palpable through the Force that it felt like a punch to your gut. “Luke, it’s okay.”

“It’s not,” he whispered. 

“Hey, look at me.” Ignoring how painful the turmoil in his eyes was, you continued, “It happens. You didn’t do anything wrong.”

He glanced at R2 as the droid whistled sadly. “We’re all right, R2.” He turned back to you, not quite meeting your eyes, but still giving your hand a firm squeeze. “I’m just…glad you’re safe.”

“Thanks to you.”

He nodded, but you knew he didn’t believe you. He quickly stood, holding out a hand to help you up as one of the rebels ran up to you, asking if the two of you were all right and for further orders, totally oblivious to the way his soul was ripping itself apart inside his chest. 

“R2, get these blast doors open if you can,” Luke said, his voice much flatter than usual. 

The droid zipped by with a morose series of beeps. The blast doors facing the porthole opened first, revealing a waiting 3PO. “Oh, R2 – and Master Luke and Miss Y/N! It’s wonderful to see you’re all right! Now, as I was saying, Princess Leia and Captain Solo told me to tell you to clear the area. They’re going to shut off the magnetic field and pilot the dropship away from the porthole—”

You tried to withhold your laugh. “We kind of got that, 3PO.”

“Oh…” The protocol droid finally glanced down the hall at the carnage and gaping hole in the ship’s side. “Oh, my! R2! You were supposed to tell them!” He gave the astromech a firm kick to the leg as his companion chirped in protest. 

“It’s all right, 3PO, we…made it work.” 

Luke, who was still turned away from you and focused on a random spot on the floor, closed his eyes at your words and sighed quietly. His hand was still in yours and you gave him a gentle squeeze, gently swiping your thumb over the back of his hand. His other hand hung at his side, the charred edges of the blaster hole and the mechanical workings inside on full display with his glove lost to the abyss outside. It felt as if something private was naked, and you took a step closer, determined to save him from any more embarrassment (no matter how unnecessary his current humiliation was). 

“Here,” you said, unzipping your pants pocket and pulling out a pair of standard issue, black leather gloves. “These were always too big for me anyway.” You gently took his cybernetic and pulled the glove over top of it. 

He looked at you with eyes so full of emotion, it nearly cut you in two. He glanced back down at the glove as you adjusted it, pulling his sleeve to inspect the small red initial sewn into the wrist. “Did you do this?”

“Yeah, they told me that was the only pair I’d be getting for a while, so not to lose them. My old bunk mates were famous for stealing each other’s gloves, then claiming they were theirs the whole time, so…” You shrugged. 

“But—”

“Keep it. Please.”

He swallowed hard and nodded, still holding onto your hands tightly with both of his. His gaze was pleading, and he seemed as if he wanted to say something but settled for gently stroking your cheek with the back of his flesh hand in a feather-light touch. He suddenly ripped himself away and stormed down the now open hallway, leaving a trail of guilt, shame, regret, and an unidentifiable burning in his wake. 

**

Comments and reblogs are greatly appreciated! Stay tuned for part 2!

Tag list (let me know if you'd like to be added! Sorry if I missed anyone, I'm terrible at remembering handles): @kaleidoscope1967eyes @masterlukessaber @coffeeorsomething-irl @eveningserenityyy @victorian-nymph @lxstfathier @rogue-kenobi @lavandula-ipsum @sonofthedunes @pomplalamoose @lex-the-flex

I like that Community went out of their way to tell us that Abed is sexy and he totally fucks not in spite of his autism but in part because of it

What I love about Seth MacFarlane: A summary

(Some of these gifs aren’t mine)

Was a cutie as a kid:

Was a cutie as a teen:

Still a cutie:

Has a glamourous laugh:

Seriously:

I feel like the sun is shining out of my ass everytime he laughs:

Modesty:

The faces he makes for his characters:

Dat hair tho:

Gets drunk and laughs about his own jokes:

Gets drunk and laughs about other peolpe’s jokes:

Gets drunk:

Dat arms damn son:

Loves cats:

The tongue thing:

The fact that this skit happened:

Is a ‘Back to the Future’ fan:

This look:

Is a ‘Star Wars’ fan:

Is a ‘Star Trek’ fan:

Doesn’t take himself too seriously:

Rocks a cowboy outfit:      (The ‘I love you’ is giving me life)

Also this scene:

Is a dork:

Is a Broadway fan:

Appreciates a good orchestra:

Plays the piano:

Knows how to perform:

And whatever the hell this is:

Which leads me toooo: 

Am I wrong for liking this??:

Can Tries to dance:

Casual as it gets:

Hellooooo:

Hosted the Oscars like damn can you be any more attractive??: 

Roasted Donald Trump:

By the way I want to have this woman’s job:

Okay but why didn’t I know this existed??:

Actual footage of me meeting Seth MacFarlane:

And this:

And THIS:

Feel free to add. I know there is much more to include, but time is a b*tch. I have faith in y’all.

LOKI Season 2 BTS

Here's my masterlist!

For now it's kinda of empty since I've just started on Tumblr but it'll get bigger little by little.

Thanks for checking out my work!! <3 <3

Dividers by @saradika

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Rating: +18

Summary: He's back home. You have almost forgotten how warm his eyes were and how big your crush for him was.

Sneak peek

Chapter 1

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DEADPOOL & WOLVERINE dir. Shawn Levy (2024)

just watched wakanda forever and OOHWEE why was the whole cast so goddamn sexy-

every time this man popped on screen id be like “i hear somethin purring 🤨…. OH WAIT THATS MY PUSSY 🤭🤭”

Simon Riley HeadCanon

Simon care about you deeply. He would do anything for you

He would lay down his life for you, extremely protective

If you go to the store he carries everything (including you) and pushes the cart cuz he's a man who take care of his woman

He has a fat ass

He actually good driver when you in car with him. He cares about your safety

He owns a motorcycle. It's old, vintage but he takes good care of it

He lets you ride but ONLY if you wear helment and sefetey gear

He calls you "babycakes"

If you have to walk somewhere late at night, no you don't

He drive you

His thighs are thick like tree trucks

His cock big as a Stanley cup

When it rains he makes sure to drive you so you safe.

Simon helped you get into his truck. You were only 5 feet tall so small he hand to pick you up practically as you struggled to get in

You could feel his hardened body and manhood pressing into your backside as he helped you up.

You glance at him over shoulder

"Simon Jr is excisted?" you ask with a wink.

Simon grunted like caveman.

His hands gripped your hops. Tightened suddenly. He ground into you like a mortal and pestle.

As if crushing seeds

Tou let out a moon of pleasure at the sentation

This sound only made him more excited

Ghost let out a primal growel from deep inside his chest it rumbled like the wheels of a lifted truck. Or lightening.

Ur hand graibedb the leather seat of truck that you bent over seat

"Simon people will see us," you cried out but couldn't help a moan of ecstasy as his cock glided against your princess parts

You were already dropping wet at the sanitation. So was he.

As he lifted you he also lifted your skirt exposing hour pink princess

Part

To the world

But he steeped closer hiding you away.

You are for his eye only. No other man can even looo at you.

"Ur minE!!!" He say "ain't that roight, babycakes?"

"Yes sir!" You screamed. "I'm yours!!!"

You didn't care if everyone in the neighborhood could hear it.

He pulled your panties aside and then...

He let our a loud growl like that of a wild tiger in the wild woods running after its prey catching its prey in its jaw and biting down I. Ecstacy it was like that

So primal so animalistic was his LOVE for YOu.....

He filled your body, slamming his large and tick and juicy and hot and veins cok into u

Over and over. So fast and rough that he rocked the truck in the street where it was parked along the sidewalk.

You gripped the passenger seat for dear life

Cars drive by

Simon 's trusting is hard and fast you scream with each blow of his man hidden inside hou

He hit spot so deep in you you you felt him up in your throat. You feel so full cuz of it. Reaching 0laces you didn't knew about.

Your muscles begi. To tught as your pleasure build inside your feminine flower beads of wetness droop f

Down your feet onto the car of the truck

You s cream wo lpugly as you come for him

The tightness of yur tight English Channel was too much for he

With a rosr like a bear un the jungle he comes

Think and creamy spurts of his manky essence flows into your cavern which socks it allll up. It flows thru you deep into the trenches of your waiting thirsty womb where it plants itself.

The two of your stay entwined for one heart and then two and then....THREE

5 seconds pass and then he pull put of you. With a gush or his seeds and yours he stuff it back in his pants. Before placing your panties back whete they go. Then he leans over and gives your pussy a kiss above the fabric. "Good girl," he tells her (your pussy)

You smjle at the affectionate gesture it fills you heart wirj deep pulsating juicy love

Simon would be a good dad

He loves kids and can't wait to see you fat with his little ones

Thus is why he always makes sure to fill hu with his thick and virile seed every day and night sometimes multiple times in row.

He have no refraction period

And is always hard

He fixes your skirt and then helps you into the Honda Civic truck

The two of your drive away to Tesco to shop for banana, his cum spilling out of you and staining the seat of the vehicle, but Simon didn't care in fact he l9ved to see it.

The wind