"Well Done, You Just Decapitated Your Grandfather."

i have so many thoughts about the ending of Narnia, when they fall back through the wardrobe and into the spare room.

What does Narnia think? When their kings and queens vanish? Do they wait for them, the same as they wait for Aslan? Do they think they've been abandoned? Do they search tirelessly? How long does it take for them to give up hope, if they ever do?

And what about the Pevensies? How do they handle suddenly being thrown back into the past? Do their memories blur? Do they struggle with being children again, when their hearts and minds are already so grown? Do they turn to a friend only to remember that they're not there? Do they whisper to trees and ask animals their names and wait in silence before remembering that this is not the world they know?

Does Edmund flinch at Turkish Delights, or the brush of winter? Does Susan ache when someone calls her gentle? Does she ever miss the weight of her bow? Does Peter miss the weight of his sword? Does Lucy ever hear a song and think of Tumnus? Do they all stand straighter, mindlessly keeping their crowns balanced before remembering they aren't there?

Do they struggle with the harsh lack of magic in this new-old world? Do they dream of Narnia and wake up in tears, a hole in their chest that nothing can really fill?

They spent a lifetime in that world, fighting for it and ruling it, learning the laws of magic and royalty; is that something they ever forget?

i love going back to the beginning of a piece of media with the full weight of knowing how it ends. you see characters get introduced and it’s literally like

[id: the ‘they don’t know’ meme edited to say ‘they don’t know the profound and life-changing effect they will have on each other’. it shows a simple drawing of a guy with a party hat standing in the corner of a room, looking at two couples who are happy and dancing. the guy is edited to have shiny, tearful eyes. end id.]

kids remind me, often, of the things i've taught myself out of.

i have a big dog. he looks like a deer. he is taller than most young children. while we were on a trail the other day, a boy coming our direction saw us and froze. he took a step back and said: "i'm feeling nervous. your - your dog is kind of big."

goblin and i both stopped walking immediately. "he is kind of a big dog," i admitted. "he's called a greyhound. they are gentle but they are pretty tall, which is kind of scary, you're right. their legs are so long because they are made for running fast. i am sorry we scared you. would you like us to stand still while you move past us, or would you feel more safe in your body if we move and you stay still?'

"oh. i didn't know that about - greyhounds. i think i ... i want to stay still," he said. at this point, his adult had caught up to us. "i'm nervous about the dog," he told her, "so i'm - i'm gonna stay still." she didn't argue. she didn't make fun of him. she just smiled at him and at me and held his hand while goblin and i, with as wide of a berth as we could make, crept our way through.

behind us, i heard him exhale a deep breath and kind of laugh - "he was really big, huh? she said it's because greyhounds have to go fast."

"he was big," she said. "i understand why that could have made you a little scared."

"yeah. next time i - next time do you think i could maybe ask to touch him? when - i mean, next time, maybe, if i'm not nervous."

later, going to a work event, in the big city, i stood outside, trembling. my social anxiety as a caught bird in my chest. i took a deep breath and turned to my coworker. she's not even really my friend yet. i told her: "i feel nervous about this. i am not used to meeting new people, ever since covid."

she laughed, but not in a mean way. she said she was nervous too. she reached her hand out and held mine, and we both took another deep breath and walked in like that, interlinked. a few people asked us - together? - and i told the truth: i feel nervous, and she's helping. over and over i watched people relax too, admitting i feel really kind of shy lately actually, thank you for saying that.

the next time i go to an event, and i feel a little scared, i ask right away: wanna hold hands? this feels a little dangerous. i hesitate less. i don't hide it as much. i watch for other people who are also nervous and say - it's kinda hard, huh?

i know, logically, i'm not good at asking for help. but i am also not good at noticing when i need help. i've trained myself out of asking completely, but i've also trained myself to never accept my own fears or excuses. i have trained myself to tamp down every anxiety and just-push-through. i don't know what i'm protecting myself from - just that i never think to admit it to anyone.

but every person on earth occasionally needs comfort. every person on earth occasionally needs connection. many of us were taught independence is the same thing as never needing anything.

each of us should have had an adult who heard - i feel nervous and held our hand and asked us how we could be helped to feel safe. no judgement, and no chiding. many of us did not. many of us were punished for the ways that we seemed "weak".

but here is something: i am an adult now. and i get nervous a lot, actually. and if you are an adult and you are feeling a little nervous - come talk to me. we can hold hands and figure out what will help us feel safe in our bodies. and maybe, next time, if we're brave, we can pet the dog that's passing.

Looking at this I can't stop thinking about how now they're going to live day by day, enjoying a peaceful life full of love and laughter in their little slice of heaven, and one of those days Hunter will be hit with a realization that he doesn't have to kneel to be on Omega's eye level anymore. And his back will creak when she falls asleep under that tree and he'll pick her up to carry her to bed. Another day he'll notice she's too tall to be seamlessly tucked under his chin. And she'll show up to breakfast one morning with his bandana in her hair because it got long enough. One of those days she'll become too tall, too big, too old to be carried around but it won't stop her from jumping onto Wrecker's back. People will turn around when she walks by and it will dawn on him that it's because of her beauty. She'll pick up a knife and twirl it between her fingers as smoothly as he used to do and she won't even think about it much but he'll be replaying it in his head for days.

And one day he'll hear the words he's been secretly dreading for over a decade. She'll get her own ship. Get in touch with some old friends, maybe find some new ones. She'll tell him that she's ready, then hug him just like she used to do when she was a little girl. And it will break his heart into a million pieces but he'll watch with a smile as she flies to the sky, ready for her next adventure. And he'll know that he raised her right.

petition to rename the usa ‘south canada’

Bucky Barnes: A summary

the darkling: exists

every 16-19 year old in the vicinity: i’m about to end this man’s whole career

High school be like:

dude: *draws on girl who sits next to him*

girl: *gets mad, punches the dude*

dude: *is to manly to let it end there, punches her back*

girl: *is too much of a feminist to let him win, punches back while cursing*

other dude, behind the two: *stops throwing his neighbours pens at the trashcan, starts throwing them at the two in front*

dude who doesn't have any pens anymore: *wakes up, gets mad at pen throwing dude*

other girl: *genuinely tries to ask a question despite the fistfight between the first dude and girl next to her*

teacher: *on the verge of walking out the door/window and or a mental breakdown*

the rest of the class: *chanting the names of the people involved*

Holy fuck I just saw the pictures of the cast of shadow and bone and they are so incredibly perfect I don't know wether I should laugh or cry. I am so in love with the whole series I don't know how I will make it into April without dying