A Collection Of Seemingly Unintentionally Profound Shitposts That Fill Me With A Viscerally Intense Feeling

Holy fuck I just saw the pictures of the cast of shadow and bone and they are so incredibly perfect I don't know wether I should laugh or cry. I am so in love with the whole series I don't know how I will make it into April without dying

just watched The Old Guard and it's possibly my new favorite thing ever but did y'all notice that there was ZERO sexualization? Not even a love interest/love triangle/etc aside from the (beautiful) pre-established, no-drama relationship between Joe and Nicky? There was reference to Andy's past partners and she has a close bond with Booker but there's no kiss, no establishing-shot boyfriend for Nile. And there's no shirtless scene, changing-clothes scene, smash-cut-to-sex-scene, nothing. It would have been so easy to slip into the movie had it been directed by a man! All the women in the movie wear just as much as the men, or more, if you count that Joe and Nicky had their shirts off when being tested (tortured). It's beautiful and refreshing and all the characters with partners drink only love-your-partner juice, even Copley talking about his wife.

Glorious. Refreshing.

Dream of the Endless has a singular braincell at all times and that braincell is petty. Every once in a while it perfectly aligns with the inside of his head like the dvd menu logo hitting a corner and that’s when he has moments of humanity

Mostly he’s a dick who needs to be smacked with a baguette tho

That feeling tho when you find that fic writer that just absolutely fucking

understands the characters to their core

writes so well they–just so–they just—their writing is—-THEY WRITE GOOD

shatters your bad mood with a new update

writes a fic that you can read over again and still clutch at your heart like HOLY SHIT I FUCKING LOVE–I LOVE THIS FIC

writes a scene that has you all giddy in public and that one random stranger asks you like “ooo you are smiling :) :) is that a boy :) you are talking to :)” and you’re like “no I’m reading a Everybody Lives/Nobody Dies AU, please leave”

understands and portrays the characters better than the people who make MOVIES with those characters

amazing. just amazing. fic writers are awesome

i have so many thoughts about the ending of Narnia, when they fall back through the wardrobe and into the spare room.

What does Narnia think? When their kings and queens vanish? Do they wait for them, the same as they wait for Aslan? Do they think they've been abandoned? Do they search tirelessly? How long does it take for them to give up hope, if they ever do?

And what about the Pevensies? How do they handle suddenly being thrown back into the past? Do their memories blur? Do they struggle with being children again, when their hearts and minds are already so grown? Do they turn to a friend only to remember that they're not there? Do they whisper to trees and ask animals their names and wait in silence before remembering that this is not the world they know?

Does Edmund flinch at Turkish Delights, or the brush of winter? Does Susan ache when someone calls her gentle? Does she ever miss the weight of her bow? Does Peter miss the weight of his sword? Does Lucy ever hear a song and think of Tumnus? Do they all stand straighter, mindlessly keeping their crowns balanced before remembering they aren't there?

Do they struggle with the harsh lack of magic in this new-old world? Do they dream of Narnia and wake up in tears, a hole in their chest that nothing can really fill?

They spent a lifetime in that world, fighting for it and ruling it, learning the laws of magic and royalty; is that something they ever forget?

Anyway adults saying “I don’t know isn’t an answer” is part of the reason I learned to lie and bluff so well.

death: i've come to collect your soul

me: wait one more episode

kids remind me, often, of the things i've taught myself out of.

i have a big dog. he looks like a deer. he is taller than most young children. while we were on a trail the other day, a boy coming our direction saw us and froze. he took a step back and said: "i'm feeling nervous. your - your dog is kind of big."

goblin and i both stopped walking immediately. "he is kind of a big dog," i admitted. "he's called a greyhound. they are gentle but they are pretty tall, which is kind of scary, you're right. their legs are so long because they are made for running fast. i am sorry we scared you. would you like us to stand still while you move past us, or would you feel more safe in your body if we move and you stay still?'

"oh. i didn't know that about - greyhounds. i think i ... i want to stay still," he said. at this point, his adult had caught up to us. "i'm nervous about the dog," he told her, "so i'm - i'm gonna stay still." she didn't argue. she didn't make fun of him. she just smiled at him and at me and held his hand while goblin and i, with as wide of a berth as we could make, crept our way through.

behind us, i heard him exhale a deep breath and kind of laugh - "he was really big, huh? she said it's because greyhounds have to go fast."

"he was big," she said. "i understand why that could have made you a little scared."

"yeah. next time i - next time do you think i could maybe ask to touch him? when - i mean, next time, maybe, if i'm not nervous."

later, going to a work event, in the big city, i stood outside, trembling. my social anxiety as a caught bird in my chest. i took a deep breath and turned to my coworker. she's not even really my friend yet. i told her: "i feel nervous about this. i am not used to meeting new people, ever since covid."

she laughed, but not in a mean way. she said she was nervous too. she reached her hand out and held mine, and we both took another deep breath and walked in like that, interlinked. a few people asked us - together? - and i told the truth: i feel nervous, and she's helping. over and over i watched people relax too, admitting i feel really kind of shy lately actually, thank you for saying that.

the next time i go to an event, and i feel a little scared, i ask right away: wanna hold hands? this feels a little dangerous. i hesitate less. i don't hide it as much. i watch for other people who are also nervous and say - it's kinda hard, huh?

i know, logically, i'm not good at asking for help. but i am also not good at noticing when i need help. i've trained myself out of asking completely, but i've also trained myself to never accept my own fears or excuses. i have trained myself to tamp down every anxiety and just-push-through. i don't know what i'm protecting myself from - just that i never think to admit it to anyone.

but every person on earth occasionally needs comfort. every person on earth occasionally needs connection. many of us were taught independence is the same thing as never needing anything.

each of us should have had an adult who heard - i feel nervous and held our hand and asked us how we could be helped to feel safe. no judgement, and no chiding. many of us did not. many of us were punished for the ways that we seemed "weak".

but here is something: i am an adult now. and i get nervous a lot, actually. and if you are an adult and you are feeling a little nervous - come talk to me. we can hold hands and figure out what will help us feel safe in our bodies. and maybe, next time, if we're brave, we can pet the dog that's passing.

I don't want a Career I want to Fuck Around

High school be like:

dude: *draws on girl who sits next to him*

girl: *gets mad, punches the dude*

dude: *is to manly to let it end there, punches her back*

girl: *is too much of a feminist to let him win, punches back while cursing*

other dude, behind the two: *stops throwing his neighbours pens at the trashcan, starts throwing them at the two in front*

dude who doesn't have any pens anymore: *wakes up, gets mad at pen throwing dude*

other girl: *genuinely tries to ask a question despite the fistfight between the first dude and girl next to her*

teacher: *on the verge of walking out the door/window and or a mental breakdown*

the rest of the class: *chanting the names of the people involved*