This Is Just So Sad...

Here’s a chance to change some black trans lives

Saw this on facebook and am keeping the momentum going. I’ve copied all the fundraiser links below, and here’s the link to the original post in case you’d prefer to look at the list that way.

Help me get home, please! $1,729/10,000 《《 high priority

Gender Fluid Human In Need Of Help $1,670/3,500

Adopted Trans Woman seeking safety & medical help $17,085/29,000

Shane’s Top Surgery $2,101/7,750 《《 this one has been up for over a year and he’s still waiting

Help J Remove Themselves from Toxic Household $1,372/2,500 《《 needs more contributions

Grace Mwangi’s Gender Confirmation Surgery $2,986/38,000

Nyne’s top surgery $2,943/8,000

Help Grayson start transition $1,201/2,000 《《 keep this going!

Skyler’s Transition Fund €458/3,000 《《 needs more contributions

Londynn’s New Life $8,828/15,000

NYIEMÄ’S GENDER CONFIRMATION FUND $8,770/37,000

Zoeys transition fund £4,224/10,000

Supporting Black Trans Elders cashapp $fakerapper $16,397/100,000

Top Surgery For Yadriel Acazio $1,817/11,000 《《 this one needs a boost

Coco’s Medical Transition Fund $3,430/15,000

Maya’s Transition & Recovery Fund $1,987/35,744 《《 needs more contributions

Help Create Corbyn $1,943/4,000

Flora’s Transition Fund $800/5,000 《《 needs more contributions

Amina Transition And Rent Fund €3,437/5,000

Help Guilly Get Top Surgery!! $3,070/7,500

Atticus’ homeless fund $5,598/10,000

HOUSING FOR TRANS WOMEN OF COLOR $7,553/60,000

Ahren’s Top Surgery $3,961/7,500

Malakai’s Top Surgery $1,119/10,000 《《 needs more contributions

Top Surgery $7,675/8,000 《《 so close; let’s close the gap!

Phoenix gotta move! $987/45,000 《《 needs more contributions

Kiana’s Gender Transition $2,140/35,000

Jacobs top surgery $6,870/8,000

Skye’s Top Surgery $2,037/8,500

Hunter’s Top Surgery $4,805/12,000 《《 time sensitive, get this funded before September!

Alexandria’s Transition fund $3,562/40,000

Myles’s Tracheal Shave Procedure $2,980/8,450

Zeke’s Top Surgery Fund $4,469/9,000

help koo start a new life $1,154/25,000 《《 needs more contributions

Landon’s Top Surgery! $950/2,000 《《 it’s a small goal, but so vital to covering what insurance doesn’t

Donate to Myla’s Breast Augmentation $1,992/6,000

Vanessa L. Naisha needs support to seek justice! $14,588/15,000 《《 so close! Let’s close the final gap

Travis’ Transition Fund $15,435/30,000

Disabled Enby Needing Help For Top Surgery! $2,672/8,500 《《 NEEDS FUNDING BEFORE AUGUST 4TH

Tyler’s Transition Fund $13,285/30,000

Clarabelle’s Gender Affirmation Surgery $10,637/20,000

help deluca get top surgery ! $4,907/7,000

Help Black Trans Woman Transition $18,495/20,700

Wriply’s surgery/ continued living fund $8,642/26,520 《《 this one has been up since 2018. I found Wriply’s socials and she’s still active, still waiting. Let’s get this fulfilled

Help a black trans woman w/ advanced cancer in ATL $21,826/25,000 《《 keep the momentum going

Help Harmony, a Black Trans Woman Survive $7,676/20,000

Help a black trans-man get FTM top surgery! $6,069/15,000

Malikais Top Surgery $4,097/7,500

Finn’s Therapy & Wellness Fund $2,960/7,000

Kyo’s (aka Key) Transition Fund $13,514/25,000

Transition Funds for Dallas $6,790/15,000

Help a Black Trans Woman from homelessness $6,606/8,000 《《 let’s get this goal met asap

Bottom Surgery and Electrolysis $6,329/40,000

Noelle’s Breast Augmentation $11,155/13,000

Aeri’s Moving Out & Transition Fund $14,859/20,000 《《 more than halfway; keep it going

SAVE A TEENAGE TRANSMAN’S LIFE $4,520/25,000

Cody’s Top Surgery $2,628/7,000

Help Kit get Top Surgery $1,820/6,000

Help Erika Begin Her Transition $4,433/10,000

I will periodically update the progress amounts. As the goals are met, I’ll mark them as funded and change the colors from green to pink to make it clear. I’m also tagging the ones that could use more attention with red.

Been hearing a lot about “reparations” lately? Well, this is one way to start working towards that, since those in power certainly won’t.

This one has an urgent deadline, August 4th ⬇️

https://gf.me/u/x8y8ak

gofundme.com

Disabled Enby Needing Help For Top Surgery! organized by Atlas Raymond Ursen

Short Summary:I am an individual non-binary pansexual guy who has bee… Atlas Raymond Ursen needs your support for Disabled Enby Needing Hel

Please help me with my overdue rent and bills!!

*URGENT: PLEASE READ/SIGNAL BOOST*

Tuesday, April 6th: Hi everyone, I’m Gemma, a bi, mentally ill disaster, who’s in desperate need of help, and I had to remake this post as I'm still struggling to pay my rent and keep my utilities on.

As most of you are already aware, I have been struggling financially for quite some time due to my welfare benefits being under a review, which is due to my worsening mental health and the UK’s controversial changes to how benefits are assessed and assigned. And at the moment, I'm currently struggling to get by, as I'm a bit behind on my rent, as I had to replace my broken washing machine + pay some overdue bills and I am still awaiting the outcome of my PIP assessment (April 2021 at the latest)

I'm completely heartbroken to keep asking for help, but I still desperately need some as I don't have anyone else to turn to for help and my rent is now overdue!

If anyone could spare any amount to help me, even if it’s just £1/$1/€1, it would literally save my life, and sharing definitely helps just as much as donations. Nobody is obligated in any way to donate if they can’t or don’t want to, I know we’re all struggling right now.

£24.40/£250!!

~PayPal~ | Ko-Fi

The inherent fucking racism/xenophobia in the “Save Christmas” rhetoric????? They imposed lockdowns twice right before Eid, countless Hindu, Jewish, Buddhist and more holidays went by in lockdown and now that its Christmas it’s somehow more important? People out there telling all of us that our holidays and religions don’t matter and we have to step up for society (which we did btw) are now going “oh no not Christmas whatever will we do??” Now that it’s YOUR holiday you finally pay attention? Fuck off. We could have been careful and ended this months ago but y’all decided to play around until it came to Christmas. The government deciding to not give a shit about Eid but decide to “protect Christmas” tells you everything you need to know.

x

IMPORTANT

The Philippines has been recently struck by two very strong typhoons in the past few weeks (and another one on the way) and a lot of people have been afected by it. If you can, please pray for us and donate to some donation drives to help those in need.

Many people have been displaced and the flood has reached as far as the second floor. Please pray for us and keep us in your hearts. Thank you. I’ll try to update this post later when I find some links for places to donate..

SHUKRI ABDI 2007 - 2019 (12 years old) Manchester, England, United Kingdom 

‘If you don’t get into the water, I’m going to kill you.’

Shukri Abdi was a 12 year old Somalian girl who was born and brought up in a refugee camp in Kenya having escaped conflict in Somalia. She arrived in the UK in 2017 and experienced horrific bullying from her classmates who called her ‘coloured’ and ‘half-caste’. 

In 2017 her body was found in the River Irwell, when police arrived children were still laughing as Shukri drowned. Greater Manchester police quickly declared the incident an accident. 

“Child Four said that Shukri seemed untroubled in the deeper water when she had her arm on Child One’s shoulder, but appeared to get into difficulties when Child One let go of her and swam back to the other children.”

“Then Shukri’s head went under and came back up. I think she was trying to say something but she couldn’t, trying to call out but she couldn’t,” Child Four told the court.  

Child Four was asked by the court if Child One was laughing when they could see Shukri struggling and sumberging beneath the surface.

Child Four replied “Yes” and said they presumed it was because they thought Shukri was joking about drowning, but Child Four said they could see Shukri wasn’t joking. Child Four jumped in the water to try to save Shukri. Child Three ran to get a stick to try to pull Shukri out.

“Child One was laughing for a couple of minutes,” Child Four told the inquest. “Child One was still laughing when me and Child Three were trying to help. Child One was still laughing when I jumped in.”

Child Four said that neither Child One nor Child Two were doing anything while Shukri was drowning, and that Child One only stopped laughing when the police came.

After jumping into the water to try to save Shukri, Child Four realised they would not be able to save her, so ran to the nearby Bury police station to alert them. Child Three did the same.

Child Four said that Child Three blamed Child One for the tragedy “because they let go of Shukri”.

- The Guardian 

It is claimed by the other children CH1 said ‘If you don’t get into the water, I’m going to kill you’ to Shukri before the incident. This was intentional and not an accident. Shukri, her poor mother and dear siblings deserve justice. They came to this country thinking they were going to be safe. Manchester claims to be open and honest and loving and yet a vulnerable child has died in their city. You need to be screaming for Justice. Inquests are not enough and not fast enough, not for Shukri, not for her mother. Justice. 

PETITION | DONATE 

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hot flaming take i’m abt to slap you with: it’s not acceptable to punish children for their grades, no matter the circumstances.

What abusers believe.

If you’ve ever had to deal with an abusive person in your life - like an abusive parent or partner - you’ve probably wondered what made them treat you that way. If you understand why abuse is happening, the thinking goes, you might be able to figure out how to make it stop. 

So why do abusers do what they do? Do they have anger issues? Drinking problems? Past trauma? Personality disorders? Do they just need to get in touch with their feelings and learn how to communicate better?

Nope. 

Abusive behaviours come from abusive beliefs. Abusers - whether consciously or unconsciously - hold specific beliefs about relationships that drive their behaviour and allow them to justify the horrible things they do. Even if your abuser has never put their beliefs into words, you’ll probably recognize a lot of these abusive beliefs:

You are responsible for my emotions. It is never my responsibility to reflect on my emotional reactions or learn better coping skills - it’s your responsibility to stop doing things that make me angry or upset.

I must act on my emotions. If I am angry, I am going to lash out. You have no right to criticize me for that, and it’s not my responsibility to learn to manage my  emotions - you have to stop making me lash out at you. Asking me not to act on my emotions is controlling and wrong.

You will always be responsible for my emotions. Even if the relationship ends, you will continue to be responsible for my emotions, and I will expect you to continue to prioritize my feelings.

If I have feelings about something, it’s my business. If something you do or think causes an emotional reaction in me, then I have a right to get involved or tell you what to do. My feelings must be the priority. You don’t have the right to tell me that it’s none of my business. 

You must judge me on my intentions, not my actions. If I didn’t mean to hurt you or scare you, then you don’t have the right to be hurt or scared. No one has the right to try to hold me accountable unless I meant to hurt someone.

I get to decide what your intentions were. If you hurt me, you meant to hurt me. If you make me jealous, you meant to make me jealous. Nothing you do is ever accidental or unintended - everything you do is intentional and malicious, even if it was a response to something I did.

My feelings are genuine; your feelings are manipulation. If I’m upset, my feelings are real and important. If you are upset, you have an ulterior motive - you’re just trying to be manipulative and get attention or sympathy for yourself.

You have freedoms because I allow you to. Every freedom you have in your life - like wearing what you want - it’s because I generously allow it. I expect you to be grateful to me for that. I have the right to take those freedoms away whenever I want, and I expect you to obey.

If you set boundaries with me, you are mistreating me. If you really loved me, you wouldn’t set boundaries with me. You are doing this to intentionally hurt me, which means I don’t have to respect those boundaries.

You holding me accountable for hurting you is worse than me hurting you. My pain at being called out is worse than your pain at being mistreated. If I feel bad about something I did, I have already been punished enough. You trying to discuss the issue or hold me accountable is just your way of abusing me.

If I apologized for something, you have to forgive me. If the relationship has ended, you have to reconcile with me. You don’t get to ask for more time apart or more discussion of the issue - once I’ve apologized, the matter is closed for good.

The relationship is not over until I say it is over. So long as I want a relationship with you, you must have a relationship with me. Your feelings are irrelevant. Even if we have broken up, you must remain available to me so we can get back together in the future. Not wanting a relationship with me means you are mistreating me or being immature. 

I am the authority in this relationship. I am smarter and more perceptive than you. I know what is best for both of us. My version of events is always the correct one. I have superior judgement, taste and opinions. If you question me or disagree with me after I’ve given you the correct answer, you are disrespecting and mistreating me, or you are simply immature and incapable of knowing what’s good for you.

I have the right to control you. It is my absolute right to decide what you do and who you associate with. You have no right to disobey me. I am owed obedience and control; if you don’t give me those things, you are wronging me and cheating me out of the relationship I deserve. 

If you resist my control, I am allowed to do whatever I think is necessary to get it back. Once you’ve resisted me, I am justified in whatever I do to regain control of you. I am not responsible for my actions when you resist my control; you forced me to do it, and it’s your own fault. 

I should be your main focus. Everything else in your life comes secondary to me. When you make decisions, my feelings should be your first consideration. You are expected to make sacrifices for me and put me at the center of your life; I am not obligated to do the same for you. 

If I spend money on you or do something for you, you are in debt to me. You spending money on me or doing things for me does not erase your debt to me, and I am never in debt to you. You are indebted to me for as long as I decide. I may decide that your belongings and earnings also belong to me, since I allow you to have them. I may also decide at any time that you owe me for gifts I gave you, even if they were meant to be gifts.

I am not abusive, and you are not allowed to tell me otherwise. I know what abuse is, and real abusers are significantly worse than me. If our relationship has ever had any good times or positive moments, it can’t possibly be abusive. If you accuse me of being abusive, you are the one abusing me, or you have been led astray by bad influences. 

Relationships should be effortless (for me). I am owed a relationship that is peaceful and requires no real effort from me. It is your job to make sure we have that kind of relationship. If there is any tension or conflict in the relationship, it is your fault, and you are depriving me of the relationship I deserve to have. 

Abusers and victims alike often buy into the narrative that abuse is rooted in anger issues - after all, abusers are frequently angry, and anger is an issue that can be treated. But this narrative just isn’t true. Abusers aren’t abusive because they are angry. Abusers are angry because they are abusive. 

A non-abusive partner is not someone who has learned how to control their rage whenever you spend time with your friends or get home 15 minutes late from work. A non-abusive partner just doesn’t feel any rage in those situations. An abuser’s rage is firmly rooted in their beliefs about relationships - they feel entitled to a relationship that meets their impossible expectations, and when they inevitably don’t get it, they bubble over with fury. Whether they know it or not, they have firmly entrenched beliefs about how relationships should be, and those beliefs are at the heart of their abuse. 

Can abusers stop believing these things? Maybe. If they can acknowledge that they have these beliefs, accept that these beliefs are dangerous and unreasonable and let go of these beliefs, maybe it’s possible for them to no longer be abusive in the future. Maybe. But it’s not your job to hang around and find out. If you’re in an abusive relationship of any kind, you deserve better. There are many people in this world who don’t hold abusive views of relationships, and you deserve to find happiness with them.