EXCERPT #25:

EXCERPT #25:

Hello. I hope somebody is listening.

[…]

And she just gives me the warmest hug… And I just melted into her arms, seriously.

I really missed hanging out with her, relationship or not, I just missed Thalia.

Oh yeah, sorry… Forgot to mention, Thalia came back, old sport.

And everything is fine! Don’t worry about it… We talked it through… Briefly.

I made sure she knew how I felt about her… Habit of running away.

Though I’m not sure how much my words got to her… the conversation moved on pretty quickly…

But! I put myself out there and I said how I felt. That alone is still something I struggle with doing these days…

I haven’t seen the only person who gave me the confidence to do so in oh, so long…

I say it often, but I do wish you’re proud of me, February. You give me strength still, even though you’re so far…

In everything I do, I tell myself you could’ve done it. I muster up my strength and ask myself how you would’ve done it. The answer is almost always without hesitation. Without worry. At least, not in any way of showing it.

Hell, I haven’t seen you in so long, February. There must be a reason for that. I know that perhaps you aren’t all of what you seem on the outside. 

I know you. But perhaps I know a different version of you. The version of you who I last saw. You’ve been gone for so long… Would it be better to say I knew you?

I wonder if I’m speaking to the same February I knew back then. I speak to the stars, yet, have you absorbed into the atmosphere? An unrecognisable energy is left, blind to the human eye, the remains of you… The star that exploded oh so long ago.

I still see your star, February… I know you’re still there… The February I know, how far away are they? Do you still know them? February? Hello…?

I know… I know how I sound. I should let you move on, February. If you ran, it must be because you were trying to erase the person you were. Before you let them go, could you tell them how much they meant to me? Let me plant some flowers before you put down the shovel. Maybe there, at the grave, I can learn all about you again. Allow me to know this new you.

…Perhaps this is why it bothered me that Thalia never discussed my feelings with me. She has every opportunity to converse with me… Something I haven’t been able to do with you, February, in ages.

I hope you would jump at the chance to speak with me again… I know I would. So, why isn’t she…?

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