Book Rec!!! Compound Fracture By Andrew Joseph White Is So Good, And I Highly Recommend It For All Of

silly desertduo core song

God I fucking hate Olaf the snowman so fucking much holy shit. Holy shit, every frame he's in, every scene, every gif, every jpeg, he's got this painfully vacant, stupid as shit, fuckass look on his stupid lumpy face. Absolutely no part of his ugly as sin piece of shit character design is endearing. His stupid fucking legs? Who the hell makes a snowman with legs. His dumb flaily fucking twig arms? His shitty, lumpy bastard head? The three thousand percent unnecessary dumbass shitass fucking SNOW BUCK TOOTH that no snowman has EVER FUCKING HAD IN tHE HISTORY OF GOD'S GREEN FUCKING EARTH? God, I hate him. I hate him so much. So FUCKING much. Every time I see a stuffed toy Olaf or an Olaf gif or a shitty goddamn commercial, it ignites my primal rage response and I'm overcome by the need to punt this shitty little homunculus into the fucking sun. "Bhurr blur, I'm Olaf the fuckshit snow fucker, I like warm hugs". Fuck you. Fuck you fuck you fuck you fuck you fuck you. You look like Tow Mater summoned a patronus. Your dumb fucking twig hair makes your whole shitty head look like a hairy skin tag. I hate your dumb fucking lumpy carrot nose and your stupid, empty googly eyes and your over-the-top goofy ass upbeat asshole personality. Any scene he's sad it invokes all the wrath and fury of a spoiled child having a meltdown over a chocolate bar in a w*lmart checkout line. And I know its irrational. That's the worst part. I know he's just a shitty fucking side character in a stupid fucking children's movie, I know it doesn't matter, I know I shouldn't care. But that's part of the problem. The part where no matter the might and fury of my hatred, the locus of my homicidal intent is alltogether inconsequential. I find myself laying awake in the dark in the early hours of the morning consumed by the spirit of Wrath itself, all the force and might of a flaming hurricane directed at a bottle of piss in a ditch by the highway. The absurdity of it all burns me to my core. What better things could this energy be directed towards? And yet my disdain for this stupid, useless, insubstantial failure of endearing character design utterly eclipses the intrigue of all other pursuits. I hate him. I hate him on a level of my mind reserved for the worst of the world's array of sinners, and I can't even begin to justify it. Shitstick the snow dick is, for all intents and purposes, the animated corpse of all of humanity's saccharine pretenses- every condescending, passive-aggressive statement of meaningless upper middle class suburban drama distilled into a single, hateable form. The fucking. Fuck. I have no words. There is no cuss or epithet in any language that can encapsulate the height of the emotions I am experiencing. God, I hate him so much. I hate him so, so fucking much. I want to light his ugly little dumpster body on fire. I want to graphically beat him to death with his own stupid fucking nose. I want to punch him to death. You know that weird feeling you get, when you see a picture of something so cute you find yourself overcome with the bizarre, inexplicable urge to squeeze it? It's EXACTLY like that, except instead of cuteness it's disgust. The wordless knowledge that his existence as a fictional work is evidence of all the failures of mankind. I find myself possessed by the will of a Holy Angel gone rogue with the belief that God has made a mistake, and I alone must correct it. This is the trial by which Samael himself fell from grace. This wild, meaningless rage. A thousand blades of shining steel cast with inhuman force in the direction of a plastic grocery bag floating on a breeze. What horrors must I have committed in a past life to be plagued by this torment now? I must Unmake this fictional snowman

They're both wordsmiths. They're both politicians that are good with their words, albeit in slightly different ways. The two of them working together for a common goal is LETHAL, especially when involving wordplay and manipulation (even with the negative connotations, but c'mon. When you're good with words, that's just kinda how it goes). Quackity's a conman, Wilbur a skilled writer and poet, and both of them have a history of giving speeches and otherwise public speaking skills.

That being said, they're super good at manipulating their outward presentations, particularly with how they speak to people.

The kicker?

They can't do that nearly as well with each other. They have decades behind them of manipulating their words, of pressing things into their outward shells to appear certain ways, but they just cannot hide how fucking stupid they are for one another.

Insert an old post I saw a while ago that was just "Get yourself a man who despite his lifetime of repressing his emotions can't hide how smitten he is for you." Because that is also them, both of them, at each other.

yup literally canon that's just straight up how they are

referencing the poker hc, they not only know the manipulation tactics too well, but also each other. It's just a constant "Wilbur you're not getting me to agree through affirming the consequent. We're not getting a 5th box of dino nuggies. Grow up" and "Quackity I know exactly what you're doing. You're not making me believe that doing the laundry was my idea all along." but also lots of "Wilbur you were overusing this logical fallacy already in pogtopia. i told you that then, and i'm saying it again now. it's not working" and "Quackity i know you can talk around the subject so good you made Schlatt forget that he was asking you why you smell like me, but you're not gonna distract me from the anniversary plan I clearly saw on the table and how it clearly had a 'shibari class' on it"

What is it with Andrew Joseph White's protagonists becoming more like me with every new book

Benji Woodside

I'm not specifically a trans boy/man but but I can relate to transmasculinity in my own genderfluid way

That feeling of finding a community of other queer kids like you

Silas Bell

Same as above but also:

Autistic on top of that

Special interest in surgery (as a horror movies/gore enthusiast I can get behind that)

I barely even know how to describe it but like,... that feeling that fucking feeling of seeing pieces of yourself reflected in others, that feeling of there are other people like me, I am not broken and I am not a mistake and I am not a problem to be fixed and someday may we destroy this world that thinks we are those things

+ minor detail, blonde hair

Miles Abernathy

Same as both above but also also:

AROMANTIC!! 😭😭 MY BOY IS FUCKING ARO!? I actually have representation?! 💚💚🤍🩶🖤 aaaauuughh 😭😭😭😭

Hating capitalism so so much

Specifically mentions not eating specific foods because they have the most awful textures

Loves his doggy 😊

+ minor detail Supa short hair, just totally buzzed all short (mines like half a buzzcut)

Sorry I still can't get over the aro part 🥲🥲

PRETTY.

with all the time we're spending running through the days

made this in October bc the house brain rot is real

new chapter. you agree. reblog.

Little Silver stops in the middle of Playful Land's dramatic climax to take glamor shots of his friends.

And then he gets kicked in the face by Floyd. Again. This time he gets a nosebleed, but it's alright.

cling to me

I know I said I was going to distance myself from this piece of media because of all of its terrible connections, but these two characters seem to have taken root in a permanent place in my heart, and I can't let them go.

Anyway, here's some character design notes below the cut for the one person out there who's obsessed with these characters as much as me.

Early DSMP: the era of childhood innocence

Bandanas: They sport each other’s bandana’s (they’re hidden in the design for every era). I love character designs with complementary colors (and I love how red and green are also cranboo’s colors)

Disks: Early on, cat and mellohi represent the peaceful moments ctommy shared with his favorite people, but they went on to be a symbol of victory and independence from the people who have hurt him.

Flowers: Ctubbo collects flowers and tries to memorize the meanings and symbolism tied to each type of flower. He also collects them for his bees.

L’manberg: the era where children became soldiers

Horns: Ctubbo’s horns start to grow in here.

Pogtopia: the era of an exile and a secretary of state / spy

You can tell I joined the fandom at the end of this era because I don’t have many notes here or for the l’manberg era.

Exile: the era of an exile once again and and a president too young

Hair: Ctommy’s hair starts to grow longer as he neglects taking care of himself.

Clothes: Ctommy’s clothes are tattered; one shoe is destroyed and he took to wearing cw-lbur’s (f-ck ccw-lbur btw!!) trench coat.

Bandages: Ctubbo’s wrapped in bandages from his recently earned firework burns. He’s gone blind in his right eye, and he’s missing the ring and pinkie finger on his right hand.

Compasses: They share their matching ‘your tommy’ and ‘your tubbo’ compasses

Hog Hunt: the era where one sought to kill the blood god while the other sought refuge there

Stolen goods: Ctommy’s has his antarctic empire outfit plus all the goods he stole from ctechno like the turtle helmet, golden apples, and the axe of peace.

Bedrock: Ctommy wears his counterpart piece matching techno’s from his ear.

Prosthetic: Ctommy’s right foot had to be amputated after he loses it to frostbite in the trek to cemeraldduo’s cabin. Ctechno gives him a simple prosthetic.

Disc Finale: the era of mended relationships and a final stand

Headband: Ctommy begins to wear a devil headband to fit in more, as he’s one of the few humans on the server. The devil horns were chosen to resemble ceryn’s real ones.

Patchwork: Ctommy learns to sew, and he fixes his tattered clothes from exile.

Post Revival:

Devil horns: Ctommy’s devil horns (plus a tail) become real after revival, and he gets a white streak in his hair.

Prime cross: The bad things that have happened to them both that they survived strengthen ctommy’s faith in prime, whereas they weaken ctubbo’s faith.

Sweater: Ctommy makes himself a sweater from friend’s wool.

Mechanical inventions: Ctubbo pursues his passion for engineering more as he makes mechanical bee drones and studies nuclear physics. He also makes himself prosthetic fingers, and he upgrades ctommy’s prosthetic foot.

Marriage ring: Ctubbo marries cranboo platonically and wears the ring on his horn. He also founds snowchester so he can have a place to protect his loved ones and raise his son. He grows out his hair to avoid eye contact for cranboo and to cover his scars.

Body type: Ctubbo gets chubbier and gains some muscle as he gets a bit happier in life.

Post DSMP:

The prison break and everything after it never happened. These are my OCs, and I make the rules because every actor/writer who played a part in their creation either abandoned them or turned out to be a terrible person. Cbenchtrio live happily ever after and begin their journey of healing while cdream rots in prison forever.