“His Permission Was Everything To Her.”

phallic worship, pt. 11: falling for fellatio

I want to answer a question I’ve received a bunch of times on and off Tumblr.

“Why do you like to perform oral sex so much?”

In no particular order:

Intimacy: every sex act can be “the most intimate”, but the closeness that I feel with his cock in my mouth is a special kind of intimacy that, at least for me, can’t be replicated with any other form of sexual touch. The feeling of being just that close, where his cock is in the same place as my thoughts and feelings and breath, is emotionally overwhelming. I never feel so intimate with him than when his hard cock is straining against my throat.

I’m beneath him. It’s possible to give oral sex from many different positions, but my favorite is always to be comfortably beneath him. This feels right to me as a submissive woman who believes cock worship and oral sex are acts of surrender and adoration. I love to be in a kneeling position because it shows him that I accept and love my place beneath him.

Generosity: oral sex is a fundamentally generous act because none of us has genital nerves in our mouths. The soul of lovemaking is generosity, of giving everything you are to the one whose pleasure is your greatest reward.

All senses firing: when his cock is on my lips, on my tongue, or working back into my throat, I can smell his maleness, I can taste his essence, I can hear the sounds of my mouth and throat echoing around my head, I can feel with my sensitive tongue and mouth, I can see up close every beautiful element of his richly detailed cock, each vein, the vibrant colors of his arousal, how it glistens, how his velvety soft skin overlays a shaft like iron. We experience our lives, our selves, our bodies with our senses, all of which are located in or around the mouth. Oral sex is a very sensory experience not only for him, but for me.

Focus: everything disappears but his cock, his pleasure, my purpose. I don’t have to try to concentrate. I just do. I slip into another world, where it’s just the two of us, and his cock is the star around which I orbit.

Speechless: I can’t talk with his cock deep in my mouth. I can moan, and I do. I also communicate with my eyes, looking up into his. I let my actions speak for me. He’s heard me talk about how much I respect him, how much I revere him. This is my chance to show him what that means.

Relaxation: when he comes home from work, he’s tired. He wants to relax, to release. He doesn’t want to have to take the lead every time he has sexual urges. He wants to know he can flop down on the couch, cast a quick glance at the floor at his feet, and watch me sink down eagerly, ready to work out all the stress that comes with being a man with responsibility and obligations in the world. He’s home now; he can relax.

Good morning: first thing in the morning, before he’s even awake, I like to snuggle up beside his sleeping cock and welcome him to a new day with love and affection. Wake him gently, letting his cock swell first, and his eyes open second. Oral sex is the perfect way to have sex before work. This way he won’t be worn out and tired before he even gets out of bed; and you’ll have given him a surge of self-confidence for the day ahead, knowing how deeply you respect him.

Gratification: men who haven’t been the recipients of eager, frequent, skilled oral sex - and even those who have been and are - will experience it as tremendously gratifying. It is a whole host of sensations and emotions that he can’t experience any other way. Men whose partners don’t give them oral sex feel it as a loss. I love knowing he will never feel that sense that something is missing.

Lingual stimulation: the tongue is a unique organ, which, in combination with a warm, sucking mouth, can provide such a wide variety of sensations with such precision that no other type of sex can give him such specific pleasure. 

Male focus: fellatio is male-centered. I do it in large part because I want to live the male-centered nature of our relationship. He is the center, and I am at his feet, in service to his pleasure and his will. He knows, when he sees me like this, that I revere his manhood and accept his authority.

Anywhere: I can suck his cock anywhere. I don’t need to be undressed, or to undress him, to do it. I don’t have to be indoors, much less in bed. I can do it under his desk at work, from the passenger seat in the car, kneeling on the balcony floor while he reads the paper, or anywhere else for that matter, as long as we’re alone and together. Oral sex is the most flexible after manual sex.

Huge variety: there are endless variations on oral stimulation. It can be anywhere from violent to gentle, from degrading to triumphant, from sensual to dirty, from messy to neat, from hours long to quick, from frantic to languid, from deeply submissive to empoweringly dominant, from playfully casual to desperately in love.

Control: He decides how much control he needs to have over things. He can lie back and let me care for him; he can watch and guide me with his voice; he can put his hand gently on my cheek or hair; he can encourage me into his rhythm with his hand on my head; he can thrust his hips up into my mouth; he can ball up my hair in his fist and immobilize me; he can pin me down or against a wall and fuck me; and so on. By giving him a choice and allowing him to have control, his pleasure comes from what he himself needs. Never forget that we may think we know “how to please him”, but no woman will ever be in a man’s nervous system. He’s the only one who truly knows how it feels. 

Let him watch: watching me kneeling at his feet, his cock moving in and out of my mouth, my tongue caressing him, is a uniquely gratifying experience for a man. He wants to watch. Sometimes he can’t, because his eyeballs are rolled back in his skull or his brain has switched off all non-essential functions, but he’ll enjoy the view when he can.

Stimulate his balls: oral sex is a great way to pay proper attention to his entire genital area. It’s not just his cock that we suck and lick and kiss. Every part of a man’s body deserves to be adored.

Swallow: I’m a big believer in swallowing a man’s semen. It’s his essence, he made it for you, you elicited it from him with your love and attention, and it is deeply gratifying for men to witness their cum being swallowed. It’s not the only respectful way to receive a man’s seed but it’s one of the most emotionally loaded ones - and many men won’t have experienced it often in their lives. Like most submissive women, I’m grateful for every drop. Oral sex is the act that most naturally culminates in swallowing.

Be proud. Learning to give pleasure with respect and humility is not easy. It can be painful, embarrassing, exhausting, frightening, and intimidating. Practice makes perfect, but until you get to perfect, you have to do a lot of imperfect. It’s a challenge that women can choose to take on. When we do, and succeed, we can and should be proud. That doesn’t mean we lose our humility, but it means we recognize the achievement and celebrate it at every opportunity.

Strengthen the relationship. Oral sex makes him feel wanted, loved, and respected. I know that when I service him this way every day, my relationship will be strong and healthy. He will not be wondering how to fuck other women or complaining to his female friends about bed death. He’ll be smiling to himself and thinking about me.

Up close and personal. It really is the only way to learn about and appreciate the penis fully - what each special spot likes, what his body responds to, how to slow him down, how to get him over the edge, how to drive him out of his mind. Get to know him. The cock exists to connect with his lover, that’s it’s entire purpose. It wants to get to know you. It wants you to fall in love with it. The center of his body wants to be the center of your world. Let it.

Angels & demons 💙 @n.r.hart

If She Doesn’t Feel You For Days, You’re Doing It Wrong

I’m not talking just about the fucking and the sexy times and the scenes. I don’t just mean the slaps and pulls, bites and pinches, belts and ropes, licks and thrusts. Oh, the licks and thrusts. Wait, what was I talking about? Oh, yes! I am talking about all of the above, and so much more. I am talking about anything and everything you do. If you’re doing it without passion, if you are going through the motions, you’re doing it wrong. She’ll know it. Everyone around you will know it. Do you kiss her when you walk in the door? Do you lean over and plant a peck on her cheek as you toss aside your coat? Stop that shit. Stop it now. If you’re going to kiss her, grab her by the back of her hair, lick your way up her throat, and then kiss her like you’re trying to save her fucking life. Even if that entire exchange lasts only 10 seconds because you’re in a rush to hop in the shower and get to wherever the hell your ass needs to be next. She’ll feel that for days. Not everyone is good at putting pretty words down on a piece of paper. I get it. Go ahead and buy her a Hallmark card that says everything you feel about her in your heart. But fucking write something personal in it or go home empty-handed. Tell her about the last time she took your breath away. Tell her what you want to do to her the next time you’re alone. Tell her something that can only come from you because she’s yours. Tell her what you think of when you feel her hair in your hand or smell her shampoo. Tell her your fucking dick twitches when she calls you in the middle of the day and laughs into the phone. She’ll feel that for days. Don’t roll over when you get into bed. Grab her hip and pull her into you. Burrow your nose into her neck. It doesn’t matter if all you do after is go to sleep. Do it because she’s the last goddamn thing you want to feel as you drift off at the end of the night. Do it because you want her in your dreams. She’ll feel that for days. Don’t spank her because she asked for it. Spank her because holy shit, that ass. Don’t eat her pussy because that’s what gets her good and ready. Eat her pussy because it’s the only thing that will cure the cancer eating away at your soul. Whisper into her ear every dirty fucking thing about her that makes you crazy. Up your game a bit. Don’t ask her, “Is this what you want? Whose pussy is this?” Fuck. That. Lean over and fucking TELL her that pussy is yours. Because you’ve never felt pussy so good.
Because you’ll never stop wanting it.
Because all day you can’t wait to get in it. She’ll feel that for days. Long after the sun rises and the soreness wears off and the bruises fade, she’ll still feel you. She’ll feel you sinking into the cracks in her soul and hear the echoes of every whisper as it bounces around her heart. She’ll call you in the middle of the day and laugh that laugh that makes your dick twitch, but what you won’t see on the other end is her blushing and squirming in her seat because she can feel you. Whatever IT is, if you do it like you fucking mean it, like you cannot take another breath without doing it, she’ll know the difference. She’ll feel it forever.