When U Only Know One Lyric In A Song So It Plays In Ur Head Like This

My Conspiracy Theory

on this day one year ago someone sewed a fried egg to a tshirt

might fuck around and read a 500 page physical published book in one sitting like it’s 2006 and I’m being bullied in middle school so I take refuge in the library and inhale books at a frightening speed that I have not been able to replicate since

I wanna be in love but also yikes

very specific Julien Baker lyrics that fucc me up

But I think there’s a god and he hears either way …. i rejoice

Maybe it’s all gonna turn out alright and I know that its not but I have to believe that it is 

maybe the emptiness is just a lesson in canvasses

and besides I’m starting to get used to the gap

pinned to the mattress like an insect to styrofoam/ all my prayers are just apologies

Grit my teeth and try to act deserving / When I know there’s nowhere I can hide from your humiliating grace …. and I would go to church on sunday

rom the sting, paper sheets, bloodwork and the IV / And the whirring machines while the nurses reassure me

(I know I shouldn’t act this way in public)

But I’ve kissed enough bathroom sinks to make up for the lovers that never loved me/ And I know my body is just dirty clothes

And I just let the parking lot swallow me up / Choking your tires, and kicking up dust / Asking aloud why you’re leaving / But the pavement won’t answer me

Some of yall have never laid on the floor and listened through the entirety of Sports by Modern Baseball while crying and it shows

RIP jbankles.tumblr.com

of course i have a lot of pent-up rage you fool i’ve been the same height since i was 12

i am so tired of peeing. i drink the water, which i apparently need to live or something, then i have to go put the water somewhere else five minutes later. i drink the water, i go to a place to un-drink the water, i wash my hands, i leave, then i have to drink more water. guess where that water ends up? not in me! i give the water to my body and like a child it tosses it out and demands more. all hours of the day all hours of the night no matter what i am doing my life is interrupted by piss and this is bullshit