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Hands That Heal - Ch.6

Bucky Barnes x mechanic!fem!reader

Chapter Summary: Bucky opens himself up and you see a new, softer side to him. Chapter Warning: fluff - so much fluff Word count: 2266

Series Warnings: 18+ only, canon-typical violence, swearing, fluff, misogyny/degrading comments from some men, smut.

Chapters: 1 || 2 || 3 || 4 || 5 || 6 || 7 || 8coming soon

RECAP: “Stay the night.” You half asked, half begged as you ran your thumb across his full and kiss-swollen lips. “Please.”

“You sure?” He asked, having left every other night, but tonight was different, tonight you had both taken a big step together.

“More than anything.”

━━━━━━♡♥♡━━━━━━

You woke up as your body reminded you that you hadn’t eaten last night and pulled yourself out from under Bucky’s arm. He stirred slightly and dragged your pillow into his arm before settling back down. It wasn’t until your stomach rumbled again that you were able to pull yourself away from his sleeping form. It was so tempting to stay and watch him, with every muscle relaxed and his dark eyelashes flicking as he dreamt. Grabbing his t-shirt off the floor you pulled it over your head and were enveloped in his scent before leaving him to sleep.

When you went to the living room you found the bowl still full of stale popcorn and the tv still frozen on the colourful entrance to Munchkinland. You turned the tv off and tossed the popcorn in the bin before quietly making breakfast and taking it downstairs. You would normally have put music on while you worked on Bucky’s motorbike but while he was sleeping you didn’t want to disturb him.

Some of the final parts you had been waiting on had arrived so you cut open the boxes and packaging before sitting on your stool and connecting them up. You had just finished installing the replacement exhaust when the stairs creaked and Bucky entered the garage shirtless. Your eyes drank in the sight of him walking over to you, his jeans hanging low on his hips and his scars now unabashedly bared.

“Good afternoon.” You smiled as he pulled you up from your seat to kiss you sweetly. “Did you sleep well?”

He nodded as his hands slipped up beneath his shirt you wore to rest on your waist. “I haven’t slept for that long in…I don’t know how long. How long have you been up?”

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tsnelf7

2 years ago

This is golden !!! 😭😂

Enamored Extra Scene - 15

[Set in : After chapter 36]

Warnings: Explicit language, drinking, Regency era social norms, mentions of sex

“Remind me again why we are meeting here instead of the gentlemen’s club?”

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tsnelf7

3 years ago

Born In Flames || Chapter Six

Pairing: Bodyguard!Bucky Barnes x Reader

Summary: Being the daughter of a mafia boss was hard enough growing up. You got out and made a new life for yourself as a bartender only to be sucked in when your old man made a bad deal and he thinks you need protection. Enter Bucky Barnes, your new bodyguard and roommate.

Warnings: Blood, broken nose, kidnapping, guns

Word Count: 3,011

Authors Note: Three chapters so close together? Whaaaat? Have fun, babes. If you want to be included in the tag list, send a message or ask otherwise it will be ignored.

Born In Flames Masterlist

Reblog & leave some feedback

You knew what sitting in the hospital alone meant.

It meant you were vulnerable.

It meant Pierce’s men could find and take you.

But you couldn’t just leave Bucky to wake up alone.

The bullet thankfully didn’t cause any organ failure, but he did have surgery to get the piece of metal out from his chest. All while you sat in the waiting room, curled up in a chair and hyper aware of your surroundings. For the past week, you didn’t have to watch for yourself. Bucky had made sure to do it all and now you were realizing just how much you had become dependent on him.

It was about an hour into waiting when you saw Michael appear with one of his other men. The two of you didn’t speak, just gave nods and sat in silence.

A couple hours later, a woman came out to talk to you about the surgery and how it went well, but he wouldn’t be able to do any strenuous activity for a while. You asked to see him, stopping Michael from being the first one to go in. Bucky didn’t need to deal with work right now, he needed a friend.

A friend who was almost killed protecting you.

Quietly you stepped inside to see Bucky’s sleeping frame in the bed, little beeps coming from the monitor. It pained you to see him like this, but it was a risk that came with being in the mafia. The last time you had been in a hospital, it was to watch your mother on her final days.

If only you had known then.

Pulling a chair up to the bed, you sat down and reached out to take Bucky’s flesh hand. He was still, probably hopped up on pain meds. You didn’t mind, you were just glad he was alive.

Hearing a knock, you assumed it was a nurse and called for them to come in. It was the man who came with Michael.

“Boss went home. I’ll be sitting out here. He paid them off so you can stay past visiting hours,” he spoke. Glen, if you remembered correctly.

You nodded and quietly thanked him before the door closed again.

“I’m so sorry, Bucky,” you whispered, resting your head on the bed as you held his hand.

No television, no music, just the sounds of the monitors and activity on the other side of the door.

You ended up falling asleep like that, fingers laced with his. What did wake you was soft grunting from the man in front of you. Leaning up, you caressed his arm and sighed.

“Shh, it’s okay. You’re okay,” you sighed. You couldn’t imagine how much pain he was in.

“Y/N…” Bucky’s eyes slowly started to open, wincing at the bright light overhead before his eyes adjusted.

“Yeah, it’s me,” you stood, hip leaning against the bed as you looked down at him.

“What…happened…” he mumbled.

Letting go of his hand, you grabbed the little styrofoam cup filled with water and put the straw to his lips as you answered.

“More shooting. A bullet got lodged in your chest but they got it out. It broke a rib but that’s about the extent of it,” you said, pulling the cup away after Bucky got a good sip.

“How did we end up here?” He asked. His voice was hoarse but just slightly better. His chest ached like no pain he ever had before.

You set the cup down and bit your lip. “I uh…drove us away. Called Michael and met up with him. Not sure if they got the guys that were shooting at us. I was more worried about you,” you admitted.

Bucky raised an eyebrow, trying to shift in the bed but a grumble of pain left his lips.

“No, no, stop it. Don’t move,” you frowned.

Bucky huffed and laid back, taking a moment before speaking again. “You drove us away? But I was driving…”

“I may have driven from the passenger seat. Or well, the console really. Had to keep pressure on your wound, kick your big legs out of the way so I could reach the pedals, and steered. It looks like being a getaway driver is a skill I never knew I had,” you shrugged.

Bucky reached out slightly and brushed his fingers over yours that sat on the bed. “Are we sure you need protection anymore?” He gave a hint of a tired smile.

“Probably not. But…I do like the company,” you tilted your head, glancing down at your hand with his. “I’m sorry you got shot because of me.”

Bucky shook his head slightly. “I didn’t. I got shot doing my job. It just so happened that my job is you.”

You sighed and pulled your hand away, taking a seat on the chair. Right. A job. That’s what you were.

So why did it hurt so much to hear? Why did you want more?

Bucky could see the disappointment in your eyes and he closed his for a moment. “I didn’t mean…”

“I know. Don’t worry about it. Just focus on getting better, okay?” You said quietly, glancing over to him.

Both of you were silent for a few moments before Bucky spoke up again. “You know, I like the company too. It’s not everyday I can show this thing to someone and not have them be afraid of it,” Bucky said as his metal arm lifted, the gold shining in the overhead light.

“It’s not scary though. It’s just an arm and I don’t really plan on being on the opposite end of it when it comes to killing,” you shrugged.

Bucky reached his flesh hand out, realizing he missed your touch. Giving in, you rested your hand in his. You hated how much you liked it, but then again so did he.

“You’re more than just a job. It’s not everyday I can take someone to that diner. And I don’t let just anyone hide against me after nightmares. I don’t know, I just…” he took a couple of breaths, the pain in his chest radiating through him. “I’ve been on bodyguard jobs before but this is entirely different. You’re different. You don’t let anyone tell you what you want and you stick up for yourself. Most people wouldn’t even go so far as to raise their voice to Michael and you went in there and screamed. Others would have too much fear but not you. You know, I think I owe you for saving my life,” he watched your eyes as he spoke.

You met his eyes and squeezed his hand. “Bucky…I don’t know what this means. I don’t…I don’t do this type of thing.” Bucky furrowed his brow in confusion and you continued. “This,” holding up your hand in his. “Going to breakfast and needing someone to hold me during those nightmares. I don’t know how to feel because…truth be told I’ve started to like you. And honestly, I was scared when you were shot. I didn’t want to lose you. I didn’t want to have to find another guard dog or move your stuff out of my little office-“

“You call that an office?” Bucky slightly chuckled, trying not to agitate his wound.

You rolled your eyes and glared for a moment. “You know what I mean. I just…I don’t want to lose you to more gunshots. And I know it’s inevitable because that’s what this business is. That’s what the point of it is. Killing, money, fights. I want to leave it all, leave this state and go far, far away…but I don’t want to leave you,” you admitted.

Bucky listened, surprised at your change in mood. When he first met you, you were ready to kick him out of the door and to sleep in the hallway of the apartment building. Now, you were confessing feelings? Tugging on your hand to silently tell you to move closer, you stood and leaned against the bed.

“I don’t want to lose you either, angel,” Bucky spoke. That was a first. The little nickname. Reaching up with his metal hand, he took your chin and pulled you down into a gentle yet long kiss. You froze when his lips pressed against yours, but soon you melted into it. You didn’t want to pull away but the knock and gentle opening of the door made you. It was a nurse coming in to check on him, surprised that he was awake so soon. She asked him the usual questions about how he felt, completely ignoring the kiss you two had just shared. All while his hand stayed clasped around yours.

You yawned just as she made her way out after jotting down a couple things on his chart, closing the door behind her.

“You need to get home and sleep,” Bucky sighed.

“No,” you shook your head. “They said I could stay as long as I want. And I don’t want to go back there.”

Bucky eyed you for a moment before trying to shift again.

“Buck, I told you-“

“Here,” Bucky patted the bed beside him. It was his left side, where the wires wouldn’t get caught around you from the monitor.

You tilted your head before slowly moving around to the other side. Being as gentle as ever, you crawled beside him. Adjusting the blanket over both of you, you rested your head against his shoulder. Surprisingly the metal arm wasn’t uncomfortable as he used what little strength he had to pull you close. Pressing a kiss to your hair, your hand rested on his bare stomach and you sighed.

This wasn’t how you expected anything to go, but even now you felt more protected than you ever had.

You fell asleep against him fairly quickly, not even waking when the nurses came in to check on Bucky. They did suggest that you move, but Bucky warned them not to wake you. They weren’t about to try fighting him on it.

A few hours into your rest, Bucky had dozed off as well with his head leaning against yours. The door slowly clicked open and in walked not a nurse, not a doctor, not even Michael.

Alexander Pierce stood at the foot of the bed, hands in his pockets as the bodyguard from outside of Buckys’s door stood on the side of the bed. Pierce kicked the end of the bed, rattling both you and Bucky awake.

Slowly your eyes opened, yawning until you froze at the sight of the men. Bucky looked around and his own eyes grew wide.

“Pierce.”

“Barnes.”

Both of the men stared at each other for a moment longer before Alexander turned his attention to you. “Y/N, long time, no see. Looks like we have some catching up to do. Get up.”

“You won’t touch her-“ Bucky started to say but a gun was pushed against his temple.

“I wouldn’t do that if I were you. You were lucky to get away with just a few scrapes. Don’t test me. You, get up. You’re coming with us,” Alexander stated once more.

You looked at Bucky with fear but you knew the only option was to go or die. “Just…don’t hurt him,” you said as you got up, looking at Glen. So there was another rat. You momentarily wondered how many were in Michael’s business but you didn’t have time to think about it.

“Y/N, don’t,” Bucky whispered as you got off the bed.

“It’s okay,” you nodded, though you looked anything but.

“How sweet. Now what you’re going to do is walk out with us and act as if nothing is wrong. You try to run, you’ll get shot. You try to get help, shot. Even look at someone, shot. Keep your head down and make it out alive. And then maybe we’ll keep your boyfriend alive too,” Pierce said. You didn’t bother correcting him, too scared to say anything more. He gave Glen a nod and the man hit Bucky over the head a couple of times with the butt of the gun, knocking him out.

You whimpered slightly, a hand covering your mouth. Pierce pushed you towards the door and now you knew you had to play it cool. Swallowing hard, you walked between both men all while trying to find a way out of this. Bucky couldn’t call for help yet. The nurses didn’t know anything about the mafia business, only that they were paid to keep their mouths shut about who was in the room.

Glen paid close attention to you as you just stared down at the floor in front of you. The one time you wished Michael was around, but when were you ever that lucky? The men led you outside to a black Rolls Royce, pushing you into the back. A driver took off the second the door was closed. Your hands were bound behind your back.

This was how you were going to die.

“Are you going to kill me like you did mom?” You asked, teetering on terror and anger.

Pierce chuckled and crossed his arms. “So you figured it out, huh? I was wondering if you would ever know. And I’m not quite sure how I’m going to kill you yet. May have my men cut off parts of you and send them back to Michael. After all, he can put your back together that way. Or maybe I’ll make sure he never finds you.”

“So you are going to kill me. Why? What did I ever do to you?” You glared.

“Your whore of a mother left me for Michael of all people. You know, we’re still legally married. I never signed the divorce papers she sent me. But I feel as though you deserve the same treatment. Slow, painful death. You were never really my daughter, not after you kept calling Michael ‘dad’. Do you know how much that hurts? I could have given you the best life! But instead I’m left with nothing and now I’ll make sure Michael has nothing left either,” Pierce spoke as the car turned. Where were they taking you?

“You’re pathetic,” you said, spitting right in his face.

Pierce wiped his face before leaning his arm up and elbowing you straight in the face. A sick crunch came from your nose, making you scream in pain. Glen grabbed a bandana and wrapped it around your mouth to keep you quiet.

“You got blood on my Armani,” Pierce grumbled, looking at the sleeve. “You’ll never see anyone ever again. I can promise that.”

You whimpered against the cloth in your mouth, blood slipping down your skin. Tears formed in your eyes as you silently pleaded to whatever gods or even to the universe that they got you out of this.

After an hour and a half of driving, the car pulled up to a building. It looked like a cabin in the middle of the woods. No immediate traffic, no neighbors for at least a couple of miles. Glen dragged you out of the car and pushed you forward as you followed Pierce inside. It looked like a little two bedroom place, as if a hunting cabin used during those few months. Or a safehouse. Probably a safehouse.

“I used to love coming here with my grandfather as a child. It was beautiful during the summers. I was hoping to pass it along to my children, but it seems like that won’t be an option. Now, I suggest you get comfortable. And don’t think about escaping. Every window, every door, they’re all sealed shut. Only way in and out is that door,” Pierce pointed to the one you three just walked through. “And you won’t be able to get within two feet of it.”

Just then, Glen leaned down and strapped an ankle monitor to your leg. “Try to leave and it sounds off. Try to take it off and it sounds off.”

You muffled words against the bandana, and Pierce gave Glen a nod as he stood. Taking the bandana away, you frowned. “Why don’t you just kill me now and get it over with?”

“Because I want to see how much you mean to Michael. I’m sure he will do anything to keep you alive, he just doesn’t know that you won’t be at the end of it all,” Pierce said before backhanding you, sending you stumbling. Glen pulled out a phone just as you looked back, blood still caked on your face from your broken nose. “Perfect. Matthew, I’ll send more men within a couple hours,” he said as he passed by you.

So Glen wasn’t even really a Glen at all.

Nodding, Glen pushed you to the couch. He sent the photo he took to Pierce and followed him out of the door for a moment.

The two spoke in hushed tones as you gently felt your nose. You knew you needed to put it back into place. You had done it once before in high school when your friend fell down the stairs, but could you do it to yourself? You took a few deep breaths and winced before cracking it back into place with a yelp. Glen, Matthew, whatever his name was, looked in to see you cradling your face.

“Make sure she doesn’t leave or else I’ll have you buried out back here as well,” Pierce said, not realizing you managed to hear that little bit.

He buried bodies around here? Great, you were surrounded by corpses. Pierce left and the asshole walked back in, closing and locking the door.

All while you were trying to figure out what to do next, the nurses alerted Michael about Bucky’s knocked out condition. Quickly he rushed to the hospital and found both Glen and you missing. Bucky had woken up just moments before, telling him everything that happened with Pierce.

Bucky felt disgusted with himself all while Michael felt the same. They didn’t keep you safe.

Now they just had to find you.

Tag list: @crownstealer @borikenlove @bitchassbucky @babyboibucky @buckybarneschokeme @buckys-blue-eyes @vanillanaps @bibbidibobbidibucky @spicynudlesoup @bemine-bucky @suchababie @kaaabiii @rebekahdawkins @sebsbrokentoe @marvel-3407 @acmbooksandfilm @stucky-my-ship @boofy1998 @valsworldofcreativity @yaszx @21st-century-daydreamer @doll1917 @luxeavenger @hallecarey1 @booktease21 @supernatural-love14 @bookstan0618

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tsnelf7

2 years ago

@dilemmaontwolegs This! Is so funny to me 😭😭

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tsnelf7

9 months ago

PSA! you don't have to have smut in your fic to make it good.

12K notes View Post

tsnelf7

3 years ago

Consider this my big hug for you !!!

Missed you really much !

Oh god it’s been so long !!! I’m scared to send you this because I anxious part of me is scared that you forgot me 🥲

But I genuinely missed you and your fics so much imma binge read everything that you wrote in a month !!

Eid al-Fitr Mubarak! I missed you too lovely, I could never, ever, ever forget you. I literally squealed when I saw your icon, I'm so happy that you are back ♥️

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tsnelf7

3 years ago

I m genuinely in love with anyshit that involves mafia bucky

Went to start writing part 3 of 2M,1B (Two Minds, One Body) but got caught up making mafia!bucky moodboards and aesthetics...

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tsnelf7

3 years ago

Born In Flames || Chapter Seven, Part Two

Pairing: Bodyguard!Bucky Barnes x Reader

Warnings: Minor character deaths, non-con (no explicit details, just mentions), blood, torment, slight disassociation, kidnapping

Word Count: Both chapters together are a bit over 5K

Authors Note: So this chapter got dark, and long. So it’s split up into two parts. I’m putting the same warnings on both parts as well, though the second part is slightly less dark but still heavy.

Born In Flames Masterlist

Part One

Reblog & leave some feedback!

Bucky was surprised the drive took so long, though he caught glimpses of signs as the headlights hit them. They were still in New York, but definitely not the city. He wondered if Pierce was taking some random route to ambush him, but with a gun to his head, it wouldn’t be a smart idea.

The roads turned into the woods and soon the car was slowly pulling up to a dimly lit cabin. Bucky saw all of the men posted outside and there was no doubt more inside.

“Get out,” Bucky said. They both left the car at the same time, the gun never leaving sight of Pierce. Once he rounded the car, he grabbed Pierce and used him as a shield while the men realized what was happening and approached with their own guns.

“I wouldn’t do that if I were you,” Bucky called out.

He didn’t see the man who had just finished taking a piss farther out in the trees, but he heard the soft crunch of twigs and dead leaves beneath his feet. Bucky pulled the gun away for one second and shot at the spot the sound came from.

It seemed his days in battle overseas really aided him. He hit his mark before returning to the men. He didn’t necessarily have a plan for the moment but he knew he had to act fast. Gripping Pierce even harder, Bucky started to shoot each of the men he saw. None of them fired back, knowing it would kill their boss before it ever hit Bucky. Four men down and one in the woods.

“I should say you’re a shitty boss for even leaving them outside in this cold,” Bucky muttered as snow started to fall. Pushing him towards the door, Bucky whispered “knock.”

Pierce did as he was told and before he knew it, Glen/Matthew opened the door.

He reached for his gun but Bucky shot him right between the eyes, though he added a couple more rounds for even betraying his job. Stanley shot up from beside you, your worn out body curled up. It was evident that something had just finished happening within the last hour. Your panties were off to the side and you looked as though you had struggled to shield yourself with the oversized shirt.

Bucky's eyes grew wide as he put two and two together, piecing it all in place. “You sick fuck!” He yelled, causing you to wake with a whimper of pain. You were dazed as Stanley’s body was shot even more, dropping in front of you.

Sitting up, you curled into the couch when you saw Pierce. But then Bucky’s face appeared from behind him and you froze.

“Bucky?” You whispered, your voice hoarse from all of the screaming.

“A whore like her mother,” Alexander scoffed, rolling his eyes.

Bucky quickly turned him around and shot him in the forehead. His body toppled backwards, hitting Stanley’s slightly. He couldn’t stop himself from emptying the rounds into all three of the bodies on the floor. The gun clicked, signaling they were all gone. Tossing the gun to the side, not having to worry about prints due to his gloves, he slowly stepped over the bodies and to you.

You shook, staring as the blood pouring out of the men. “Is this real?” You asked, wiping at your eyes. Your mind would play tricks on you, your dreams sometimes pleasant only to wake up still in the cabin.

Bucky knelt in front of you, gently taking your hands. He looked you over, disgusted at the way the men used you as a punching bag among other things. Pulling off his jacket, he slid it over your shoulders and cupped your face. You winced, your hands moving to rest on his forearms. You stared at him, gripping him as tightly as your weak hands could, hoping that this wasn’t a dream. You couldn’t bear to wake up from something that felt so real.

“I’m here, Angel. It’s real,” Bucky nodded. Glancing around, he furrowed his brow when he didn’t see any pants for you. “Where are your clothes?” He asked, frowning.

You shuddered and shook your head. “They took them away. I don’t…” you trailed off, knowing that they tossed them in the trash early on. They only ever gave you shirts and underwear, and you were “lucky” to even get those, according to Stanley.

Bucky swore under his breath. Grabbing the panties he did see, he slowly helped you into them and got you on your feet. Your knees wobbled, muscles not yet having found themselves. They never did after those times when you were used. Bucky helped you get your arms into the jacket and pressed a kiss to your forehead.

“I’m gonna get you home,” he said. Picking you up, he walked out of the house and got you into the passenger seat of Pierce’s car. Chances were that they wouldn’t have called it in and reported it stolen yet. After all, the owner was dead now.

Once he got you in, Bucky quickly rounded the car and got into the passenger seat. Setting the gps on his phone, he set it on the console and turned the heat up. He had felt your body and you were cold as ice.

Quickly he pulled out of the place and headed back towards the city while you curled up in the seat. “How did you find me?” You asked after a few minutes, facing him. Bucky reached out with his hand and you took it, leaning forward and holding it to your cheek. He was so, so warm and you needed the comfort.

“Forced Pierce to bring me there. We’ve been getting all of those videos and photos. When we got the one from today…” Bucky shook his head slightly and stared at the road. “I couldn’t sit by and watch as you were hurt. I was ready to kill anyone who stood in my way of finding you. I didn’t care if I was going to die, I just…I had to find you.”

You listened, pulling the hood up on Bucky’s jacket to hold the warmth in. He knew taking you to your place wasn’t the best option considering they knew where you lived, but you needed to be home. And without a boss, Pierce’s men didn’t have anyone to answer to.

“Michael and I have been trying to find anything about where you were. He’s been signing things over to Pierce just to get you back, but each time one thing was signed over, Pierce would add on another,” Bucky glanced over at you, how puffy and red your eyes were even in the darkness. “Angel…what did they do to you?”

You looked down, though you didn’t pull away. Admitting to what they did was the hardest thing and you never thought you would have to. You were sure that they were going to kill you. Turning the heat up as much as it could, you closed your eyes. “They…used me. Made me do things I didn’t want to. I can’t…” you shook your head as tears started to fall once more.

Bucky pulled the car over and put it in park before turning to you fully. “Shh. I’m sorry. They will never, ever hurt you again. I promise. I’m so sorry,” he whispered, pressing his forehead to yours. “I’m not leaving you again. Ever.”

You believed him, but you were still scared. Nodding slightly, you took a few deep breaths. He smelled of leather and whiskey, something you didn’t realize you missed until now. Pulling your head back, you looked into his eyes. “You saved me.”

Bucky brushed your tears away with a nod. “I did say I owed you for saving my life, didn’t I?”

You nodded, though a smile didn’t break through. You weren’t sure if you could smile again, but it would come back in time. “Take me home,” you whispered.

Bucky kissed your bruised cheek as gently as he could before pulling the car back onto the road.

Slowly you started to recognize places, knowing home wasn’t too far away. Bucky didn’t pull his hand from yours. He needed to make sure you were there and you needed him there.

The only time he pulled away was when he parked the car outside of Pierce’s house. He made sure no traces were left before leading you to the car he originally drove in with.

The less evidence, the better.

He got you home quickly after that, helping you up to your apartment. When he opened the door, you frowned. It was somewhat messy, though it wasn’t terrible. To-go containers sat on the counter as well as empty water bottles.

“Buck, what is this?” You asked, looking around. “I didn’t have any of this…”

Bucky rubbed the back of his neck. “I’ve um…been staying here. In case any of the men came looking for something or if you found your way back somehow.”

You looked at him with a sigh, moving to wrap your arms around him and burying your face into his chest. His wound was more or less healed, though you momentarily even forgot he was shot. “Stay.”

“As long as you want me to,” Bucky spoke against your hair. “Think you can take a shower?” He asked, knowing it would help you at least a little.

You pulled back slightly. “I think so,” you muttered. Bucky didn’t give you a chance to do it yourself. He led you to the bathroom and had you sit on the closed toilet seat while he started it up. You noticed that his hair had started to grow out as well as his beard, but not terribly long. It was more full rather than the scruff you had gotten used to. Various new items sat on the counter. A toothbrush, some mouthwash, and Bucky even put some of his own body wash and such in the shower. Bucky turned back to you and nodded gently.

“I’m going to be right outside, okay? Call out if you need me. I’ll bring back a towel,” he looked down at you and he now saw the fresh writing on your leg closer than before. Breathing out through his nose, he met your eyes.

You noticed it but nodded anyways, pulling him in for a tight hug, or as tight as you could manage. “Thank you,” you whispered before letting him go.

Bucky kissed your temple and stepped out, leaving the door just slightly ajar to hear you better if you needed his help. Slowly standing up, you peeled off the jacket, shirt, and underwear. You couldn’t bear to look into the mirror, afraid of what you might see. The showers you were allowed to take were short and cold, while this one felt nice and inviting. If this was a dream, it was the most realistic one. You began to wash your hair first, caked in grease and sweat. It took you two run throughs of shampoo and conditioner before you felt clean. Then came the body.

You used the favorite soap that hadn’t been touched in a while, lathering up and washing your skin as hard as you could. That’s when the tears started again. You knew it was your hands, but you got flashes of the men’s hands on you again. You sat down at the bottom of the tub and tried to do it slowly, shaking as your hand ran up your inner thigh. You froze, sobbing as you tossed the washcloth and hid your face against your hands.

Bucky had decided to clean up the trash he left, shoving it all into bags and setting it by the front door to take out later or tomorrow. He usually was a very clean man, never liking to see trash scattered around. He wasn’t even one to have a bunch of items in his place. He only went there lately to get clothes and such. Once he was done, he went into the hallway and grabbed a thick, fresh towel. Knocking on the door, he peeked his head in.

“Hey Angel? I brought you a towel,” he said softly, setting it on the counter. When you didn’t answer, he frowned deeply. “Y/N?”

“Thank..you…” you gasped between quiet sobs. Bucky sighed and walked in farther.

“Do you need anything?” He asked. He didn’t want to open the curtain considering you were naked and even though he had just seen more of you today than ever, he wasn’t going to be that guy.

You hesitated for a moment before answering. “Don’t go,” you spoke.

Bucky moved to sit on the toilet, elbows on his thighs and hands clasped together. “I’m right here, I promise.”

You sniffled and grabbed the washcloth to try washing yourself again. You had to. You had to get the feeling of all of it off of your skin. Biting your lip and squeezing your eyes shut, you quickened your pace and scrubbed your skin even more until it nearly burned. Bucky was right outside of the curtain, and you knew he would help you do just about anything, but you were strong, right? You had to do this yourself. Once you felt like you were about to make yourself bleed from all of the scrubbing, you slowly stood and rinsed yourself off once more before shutting the shower off. Peeking out from behind the curtain, you looked down at Bucky and reached your hand out towards the towel. He handed it to you and you wrapped yourself in it before pushing the curtain back fully.

Bucky kept his eyes on your face as he stood. “I know this isn’t what you want but…go sit in bed. I need to take care of the…cut,” he muttered. Neither of you wanted to talk about it, but you knew he just didn’t want it to get infected.

Nodding, you stepped out of the shower and headed to your room. He gathered the items he needed while you got dressed. Your room had been pretty much untouched, though he had no reason to even step foot inside. You pulled on a long sleeve and some shorts, knowing it would be better for him to get to the cuts. Crawling onto the bed, you sighed and tried to allow your heart to settle. You were home whether it was a dream or not. You leaned back against the pillows. Being in a bed felt so odd after six months on a couch or floor.

Bucky knocked on the door and you called out that he could come inside. He stepped in and closed the door behind him, one arm full of items. Gauze, wrap, antibacterial ointment, and he even grabbed a couple bottles of water and an apple.

“I thought you might be hungry. It’s not much but if they haven’t been feeding you, you’ll have to start small,” he muttered as he climbed onto the bed next to you.

Sitting up, you curled one leg beneath the extended wounded one, taking the apple as he handed it to you with a small thanks. He turned on the light on the nightstand to get a better look. “So you don’t need stitches, but this won’t feel good. Just remember to breathe, okay?” He asked. You nodded, taking a small bite of the apple.

Bucky proceeded to clean the wound, though you chewed on the apple to bite back the pain. You were thankful it was still somewhat fresh so it didn’t start to get infected. You had smaller cuts from when they hit you but not enough that would get gross. You focused on Bucky’s face, how his eyebrows knitted together as he focused. He had bags under his eyes and looked just about as tired as you.

“What did I miss?” You asked, needing a distraction. Bucky glanced over to your face before your pleading eyes told him you needed it.

Bucky sighed and looked back to your leg. “Well, Michael has pretty much put everyone through the ringer since he doesn’t trust anyone anymore. Glen had been loyal for years so it’s pretty warranted. Liz keeps giving me her pot cookies but I don’t do that stuff so I gave them to Michael. I guess he likes them, but don’t tell her I’m not eating them. I gave her the excuse that you were visiting family. Well…I gave everyone that excuse. I went to your job and told them how there was a family emergency so you would be out of work for a while. Your aunt was sick and you had to stay and look after her. Duff seemed pretty okay with it but I know he missed you. Michael…really tried to get you back. He was ready to do what Pierce asked and sign over the whole company. I know he’s been a bad father, but he does care about you,” Bucky’s words were softer at the end.

You kept chewing on the apple as you listened, your free hand resting on your stomach. You were happy that Bucky came up with lies so people didn’t worry, though you sighed when he mentioned Michael caring.

“Don’t tell him I’m home yet, okay? I just…need a night in here,” you mumbled, setting the half eaten apple on the nightstand as you groaned in pain when Bucky put the ointment on. He whispered a soft apology but continued. Taking a sip of water, he then applied a bandage and taped it down so it wouldn’t fall off too easily.

Setting the water down, Bucky gathered the items and headed out to put them away. You looked around, somewhat feeling like a stranger now in your own home. For the last six months, you had been put out and made to feel like you were nothing but a hole, a body to torment. Pulling the blanket over your legs, you curled up on your side and glanced at the clock. Five am. A time you used to go to sleep after work was finished. It made your heart hurt.

Bucky appeared in the doorway, chewing on his lip. “You should get some sleep,” he mumbled.

Looking over at him, you reached your hand out and motioned for him to come closer. Once he walked over and sat on the edge of the bed, you took his hand. “Stay with me, please?” You asked, not wanting to be alone. Sure, you hadn’t been alone in months, but you trusted Bucky.

Bucky's heart broke at how scared you looked. Nodding, he squeezed your hand. “Let me go get changed and I’ll be right back, Angel,” he said.

You nodded and let go as he got up, watching him walk out. That nickname was beginning to be your favorite in the world. Your brain drifted off as you waited, trying hard to stay away from the demons that were now going to plague your mind. You didn’t have nightmares much at the cabin, just because they would tire you out by slapping you awake and making sure you didn’t get any decent sleep. Hearing soft footsteps, Bucky walked in and shut the door, having done a check around the home before getting changed. He wore just black pajama pants and a tee. Shutting off the light, he crawled into bed on the other side of you and laid on his side. You turned towards him, the streetlight illuminating his face just enough.

“What’s going to happen now? With Michael and Pierce,” you spoke quietly as Bucky slowly pulled you in and wrapped one arm around your waist. The other slid beneath your pillow, his face just inches from yours. His touch was soft, afraid of breaking you farther.

“I’m not sure. It may be covered up, cleaned up with disappearances and bodies that weren’t found,” Bucky shrugged, which made something trigger in your mind.

“Bodies…Bucky, Pierce has bodies buried around that cabin. He mentioned it the day I was taken there. Who knows how many there are,” you muttered, your hand resting on his cheek as you brushed over his beard.

Bucky frowned and shook his head. “An issue for another day. C’mon, you need sleep,” he whispered, kissing the inside of your wrist. You watched him with soft eyes.

“Guard dog…” you muttered, leaning forward and pressing a gentle kiss to his lips. From there, you curled your body against his and tried desperately to relax against him.

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