Please Help A Queer Black Woman Leave An Abusive Household

Please help a queer black woman leave an abusive household

TW: Abuse, Rape mention and mention of cancer and homophobia/queerphobia

Hi everyone, I am a queer black woman, my name is Chelsea and I desperately need $3500 to help move out of an abusive household.

Throughout my life I have been living with my narcissistic parents who are frequently abusive (both emotionally, physically and homophobic/queerphobic) and it has taken a toll on my mental well-being as I've been diagnosed with chronic anxiety and undiagnosed adhd. My parents continue to speak negatively to me and they have a tendency of using personal hardships that I have been through to belittle me. In 2018 I was raped by someone I knew in highschool. That incident made me ill and I had to be treated for vulvar intraepithelial neoplasia which is a precancerous skin condition. Both my parents use this incident to gaslight, belittle and manipulate me. They also constantly speak down on the queer community and say hateful things, which suggests that they would be physically violent towards any queer people. They are unaware of my sexual orientation and I've been hiding that from them to keep myself safe.

They do not allow me to leave the house unless I am accompanied by someone. I have been trying to look for work so I can become financially independent, but they physically stop me from going to job interviews. I do not know how many more years I can go on being trapped like this.

I’m raising money so I can move out and afford a one-bedroom apartment and start healing in a safer environment and to gain financial independence. I will need funds for transport to move, and for a couple of months groceries and rent as well as funds to get a new ID and passport, my parents keep them from me. I’m hoping to be able to move to another city because my rapist lives in the same neighbourhood and city as me, so not only am I not safe when I am at home, I'm also constantly paranoid during the few occasions that I'm allowed to go out. Please please help if you can!

I will be extremely grateful to anyone that donates any amount at all. If you can't donate may you please share it and hopefully reach someone that can.

I have a PayPal account which is currently the only place I can accept donations:

My PayPal is: paypal.me/chelseanovasummer

Update:

I've added some proof about my living situation with my parents because someone accused me of being dishonest, and basically scamming people for money.

In case no one told you growing up

Bras last longer if you let them air dry. Don’t put them in the dryer.

If you have a problem with frizzy hair, don’t dry your hair with a towel. It makes the frizzies worse. (I recently read an article that said to use a t-shirt? I brush mine out and let it air dry.)

Whites wash best in hot water. Everything else can be in cold - save on your electricity bill.

You can kill 99.9% of germs in a sponge by putting it in the dishwasher for a cycle or by microwaving it for 2 min (be sure to make the sponge damp before microwaving and to put a cup half full of water in with it and please DO NOT squeeze the sponge until it has cooled off)

Airing out your room/house and letting sunlight in every so often can decrease the number of household pests like silverfish and ants.

Black underwear is best during your period as stains are less likely to be visible.

To save money, put aside 10% of each paycheck into a savings account. It’ll add up.

Unless your hair has something on/in it (like grease or mud or something), using conditioner first can actually be the better choice. The conditioner holds in the good oils that help you hair look sleek and beautiful, which shampoo would otherwise wash away.

Speaking of shampoo - if you have long hair, washing just the bits that touch your scalp is generally enough. The rest of your hair gets cleaned with just the run off from your scalp.

If you put a tampon in and it’s uncomfortable/you can feel it, you didn’t do it quite right. A properly placed tampon is virtually unnoticeable by the wearer.

Apply deodorant/antiperspirant a couple hours in advance of when you need it. This gives the product the chance to block your sweat glands. Using deodorant just before going somewhere where you’ll sweat (this means walking outside for people in high humidity places) results in your sweat washing the deodorant off and starkly limiting its usefulness.

After running the dryer, use the dryer sheet from that load to brush out the lint catch - it gets everything off in a fraction of the time it’ll take you to get it clean with your bare hands. Paper towels also work well.

Wash your face everyday, or as often as possible. Forget which brand of cleanser is best. Just washing your face everyday will guarantee you clearer skin. And do you best not to pop pimples, as tempting as the urge may be.

Fold laundry asap after taking it from the dryer to avoid wrinkles. This may seem obvious for dress shirts and silly for things like t-shirts, but you’ll notice the difference even then once your shirts stop looking like unfolded paper balls.

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