— Wolkenleere, Excerpt Of A Book I’ll Never Write

Sometimes it is your fault.. Sometimes you don’t listen well enough, you’re selfish, you’re rude and you aren’t always right. Sometimes you fucked it up and tbh that’s okay. It happens, learn from it, apologize and keep it moving. Just because you fucked up doesn’t mean you’re a bad person. Don’t dwell on it

i don't know if anyone needs to hear this, but in case someone does... if you were abusive as a child, and adults in your life knew about it but did nothing to stop you, encouraged you, or maybe even forced you into it... that's neglect, and abuse in the latter case. they failed you. they failed you horribly, and they should have taught you better.

and if your abusiveness was impacted by experiencing abuse, trauma, or mental health concerns... the adults in your life should have been there for you. they should have genuinely supported you by helping you find ways to healthily manage what you were going through. they shouldn't have just let you hurt others, and likely destroy some of your relationships in the process.

yes. you are responsible for your actions, abuse included. but the adults in your life... they were still responsible for taking care of and teaching you. but they failed you, and i'm sorry they did. you (and those at the receiving end of your abuse) deserved much, much better. i hope by now, you've grown into a healthier person, and are able to have safe, fulfilling relationships.

but if not... let this be your sign to change. let this be your chance to grow. i promise you, whatever sense of control and power abuse gives you isn't at all worth the damage, pain, and suffering it leaves in its wake. if you don't believe me... you'll understand either once you change, or the consequences finally bite you in the ass.

living in a constant haze, walking through the world as if nothing was real

I'm so sorry I hurt you.. it feels like swallowing glass every time I think it was never your fault.

MAYBE I'M DEFECTIVE

OR MAYBE I'M DUMB

I'M SORRY, SO SORRY

FOR WHAT I'VE DONE

MAYBE I'M BAD NATURED

OR MAYBE I'M YOUNG

I'M SORRY, SO SORRY

FOR WHAT I'VE DONE

— Vladimir Nabokov, Letters to Vera

When a person tells you you hurt them, you don’t get to decide you didn’t.

you’re in her dms, i’m on her dni, we are not the same