Vaellis1994 - Untitled

Ooooo 84 for amethylia/Bastila if you want? :0

thank you Rae!! <3 I attempted to keep it short and sweet lol. brief allusions to Lock (OC of mine) in there, but easily skippable for the uninterested!

84. “Why didn’t you just call me?”

—

After a near week straight of festivities celebrating Malak’s death, Bastila thought that she would be happy to never attend another party again.

She knew that she was in the minority here. Almost everyone else in their bizarre group of companions had been happy to celebrate, no longer hounded by the Sith or living in fear of Malak’s reach on the galaxy. It was as good a reason as any to celebrate, really, and it was why Bastila put on a calm face and a smile, never joining in overly much but doing her utmost to not bring down their moods either.

Even if she hadn’t heard the jokes made about how stuffy she was, the fact of the matter was that less than two weeks ago, Bastila had attempted to kill the people she had been traveling with and had come to consider friends. What’s more than that, one had been her oldest friend and another had been the woman she loved. Allowing them their fun was really the least she could do to make up for it, and she wondered if she’d ever truly be able to do just that.

Leaning against the railing of the balcony, a subtle shift in the Force clued Bastila into a very familiar presence approaching her, one that brought a smile to her face.

“Hey there, Bas,” Amethylia said quietly, the shorter woman wrapping her arms around Bastila’s torso and resting her head against her back.

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uh i've been reading a bunch of time-travel fix-its and my brain generated another one of my stupid-ass aus:

Darth Vader retrieves Luke except he is busy so it's Cody who ends up caring for Luke on the day to day bases and through this, he manages to circumvent the chip. (nothing new so far)

Lo and behold some force osik happens and baby Luke is transported back in time into the middle of clone wars and into the middle of 212th frontlines.

Now

This is where it gets interesting

*Luke crying "daddy/papa/buir!" upon seeing Cody*

Obi-Wan: You did not tell me you have a secret child, commander. Cody: I can't have a secret child, sir! I'm gay! Obi-Wan: Now, dear commander, you know perfectly well that the universe is a beautifully diverse place. Cody: (holly shit Luke can actually be my child)

Obi-Wan: Luke, dear, are you sure Cody is your father? Luke: Mhm. He has less lines on his face and darker hair... (holly shit Luke is from the future) Luke: ...but he feels the same so I know it is him! (holly shit Cody fathered a force-sensitive child)

Cody: Luke, do you have other parents? Luke: Yes! I have another dad! Vader! Cody: (oh force he is actually my child) Cody: Can you describe him to me? Luke: Uhm, he wears a mask and a cape and a red sword.. And he has a funny accent!

(holly shit somewhere down the line Cody is going to have a kid with a darksider)

Anakin thinking he is using the braincell when he actually is not: funny accent? close with Cody? OMF Obi-Wan is going to fall

Because they are!

Tessa said BI VALKYRIE RIGHTS!!!!

bonus:

i love that in the “so uncivilized” story level in lego sw skywalker saga (aka the one where you get to be obi-wan and cody), at the start grevious calls obi-wan “jedi scum,” and cody says “i think he’s talking to you.” then at the end, grevious says “pathetic clone” and obi-wan says “he means you cody.”

like they’re mid battle against grevious and still teasing each other (flirting), it’s amazing

My new favorite picture ever ❤️

Cursed mostly crack au nonsense.

The real reason Palpatine hates Obi-wan so much is Not because he's the Master of the Chosen One™ and therefore in the way of his plans. Oh no.

Sheev Palpatine hates Obi-wan because Obi-wan turned him down when he asked him on a date. Sheev was like 'cute redhead that can hold an intelligent and scathing conversation. Score'. He thinks they'll go on a few dates and as a bonus he can convince Obi-wan to go Dark.

But Obi-wan always gets 'weird old man' vibes from him and politely declines.

Of course Palpatine is offended that Obi-wan turned him down. Hes a catch. Anyone would be flattered to go on a date with him. How dare he! What do you mean he's fucked the Organas?? What do they have that i dont?!

So starts the long passive aggressive murder attempts.

Except. Every once in a while Palpatine tries to shoot his shot again. Its a matter of pride. He hints that maybe these assassins will go away if Obi-wan agrees to go on a date with him.

Obi-wan is like 'ah. Youre one of Those types' and doubles down on declining Palpatines date invites. Not once does it occur to him to Tell Anybody what Palpatine is doing.

This continues for a Long time. Then, midway through the war Padme pulls Anakin to the side and asks very politely if Anakin would talk to his good friend Palpatine about leaving Obi-wan alone. Anakin, having had no idea anything was going on, asks wtf shes talking about. So padme explains that during one of her and Obi-wans friendly bitching Tea dates that Obi-wan let slip that the Chancellor was trying to pressure him into a relationship by using his position of power over the republic, the Jedi, and Anakin himself. Obi-wan usually wouldnt have said anything but one of the assassins shot at one of his men instead of him and thats 'a step too far' and Obi-wan is a sleep deprived irritated mess.

Anakin of course goes a little unhinged at this information. No one threatens his brother-dad like that. So he goes to confront Palpatine, because maybe it's been a misunderstanding, but maybe it hasn't been.

So he confronts Palpatine, who doesn't deny it and instead makes his biggest mistake. He asks anakin to convince Obi-wan to agree. The 'Or Else' isn't said, it isn't even really implied, but Anakin hears it anyway. And he remembers what that kind of thing means on Tatooine.

Anakin goes even more unhinged. Theres a misunderstanding between Anakin and Palpatine where Palpatine thinks Anakin has figured him out as a sith but Anakin just thinks he's a predator. It turns into a fight.

There are explosions and saber duels and lightening.

When the dust clears Palpatine is dead and Anakin has curled himself around Obi-wan like 'its okay, he's dead now. He can't threaten you ever again'. Obi-wan is like 'thank you. I love you. But wut?'.

Both are sent off on a long vacation. Anakin because he was being groomed by a Sith lord and because the stress from the war has clearly caused something to snap. Obi-wan because he was being romantically pursued by a Sith Lord, the stress from the war, and because Anakin wont let him out of his sight.

Of course Ahsoka and the 212th and 501st go with them. Padme stays behind to help girlboss the Senate into getting their shit together.

Cody is a little salty he didn't get a chance to kick Palpatine in the dick (Its also a codywan au), but he claps Anakin on the shoulder and goes 'Good job son'. Anakin cries.

with new pictures of Hayden Christensen floating around I keep seeing people saying 'imagine if Anakin didn't turn bad, the biggest problem for Luke and Leia would be that their dad is a dilf and all their friends swoon over him when he comes to pick them up from school'

and yes of course that's valid because Anakin would absolutely be casually leaning against his modified speeder with sunglasses on dressed in black like a model but please imagine the twins getting horrified by their friends drooling over him and going "dad you're not allowed to show your face at school now, mom will come pick us up" but HAVE YOU SEEN RECENT PICTURES OF NATALIE PORTMAN?

the twins have zero ideas how hot their parents are, they're just their lame parents, they don't realise that their mom has the face of Natalie Portman and the second their friends see her they're like "your father is a dilf and your mother is a former queen and the nicest AND hottest milf in the galaxy?? you guys are so lucky"

Leia is traumatised and almost shaking, saying, "this is the worst. I can't believe our parents are...." She makes a horrible gagging sound. "...Hot."

"I know, I can't believe it either," Luke groans.

"Next time we'll ask Obi-Wan to come pick us up."

"Oh good idea! It's not like anyone would find old uncle Ben hot!"

"Yes, that's impossible," Leia replies, relieved.

"Impossible!" Luke laughs.

I thought that was adorable!

I feel so called out right now, 😂