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#well mark me down as scared and h*rny

An Incomplete List of Potter Family Headcanons

Harry looks like James but he has all of Lily’s facial expressions

He has her “duck and cover” temper too

And her sense of justice and her total obliviousness to the person crushing on him

Hegets his flying skills from James ofc but also his sense of humour and his loyalty

He inherits potions skills from both of them but doesn’t realise until he     suddenly no longer has Snape as a teacher

His nosiness and investigative thing comes from Lily. The way he goes about finding out these things is all James

His Defense skills come from the Potter family even though his dad was     actually better at transfiguration

He and his mum have the same “disgusted” face and he would be horrified to know that they share it with Petunia

His paternal grandmother was born and brought up in India until she was 21 - at which point she moved to England, promptly fell in love with Fleamont Potter and immediately married him bc like hell was she going to marry the racist piece of shit that her parents wanted her to

She was descended from a distant branch of the Avery family that moved to India following the British Invasion and never returned

He’s very bi.

He doesn’t notice this until he’s been married to Ginny for 10 years 

Ginny is very surprised that Harry didn’t know he was attracted to men since she’s known since he was in fourth year (more on lgbt+ in the wizarding world later)

In a world where Harry is female he discovers that he’s bi a lot earlier due to neither Cho nor Ginny being shy about the fact that they find him as     attractive as he finds them and bc Ginny is many things but all of them     are Weasley

Harry’s kids have plenty of Nanas and Grannys (Nana Andy and Nana Molly and Professor Granny Minnie and Granny ‘Gusta and Nana Cissy (when she’s feeling generous and only bc her sister begged her) and Granny Tuney (once they’re all teenagers)) but only one living Gramps: Arthur Weasley (Nanny Lily, God-Nana Alice, Grandpa James, God-Gramps Sirius and Grandfather Regulus (Kreacher would not stand for a less dignified form of address) are all commonly mentioned and talked about and their graves are all visited but none of them talk back)

There are four Potter kids: Teddy, the eldest, who had other parents first but only ever knew his Nana and his Dad and his Mum; Jamie, the second eldest, who takes after both of his namesakes in terms of theoretical mischief making but neither when it comes to practice; Al, the youngest boy who takes after his God-Gramps and immediately befriends kids as willing to blow things up as he is; and Lily-Lu, the baby of the family, who uses this status to get away with murder and is the true heir of the Marauders and the Weasley twins

Teddy gets the Marauder’s Map when he goes to Hogwarts. Jamie nicks the invisibility cloak out of Harry’s desk when he goes. Al is basically indifferent but does occasionally blackmail his siblings for use of one or the other. Lily-Lu somehow has both when she starts. No one knows how. Jamie is very irritated by this fact. She lets her brothers use them if they tell her why and ask nicely.

Teddy is rebellious and mischievous. He is also somehow both prefect and Head Boy. Teddy is also the good child. Harry looks back on Teddy’s rebellious teenage phase fondly when his other kids reach teenagerhood.

Jamie is quidditch mad. He is not above pranks but his world revolves around quidditch. Harry has vivid flashbacks to his time playing under Oliver Wood.

Al cannot be left alone. He especially cannot be left alone with any     combination of Rose, Scorpius, and Daisy. Harry despairs. He was surely not that bad when he was a teenager.

Lily is an angel. She doesn’t break rules and is always helpful without being asked doesn’t get caught. She is a terror but the only person     who’s ever caught her in wrongdoing is Uncle Neville. She does not try to lie to him again. Her parents know. That doesn’t mean they can catch her. Harry knows she didn’t get this from him.

The Potter household is always noisy and none of the kids can be left     unsupervised.

All four kids adore Kreacher. He adores them all right back and spoils them rotten half the time unless specifically told otherwise

Winky ends up as a Potter House Elf. Somehow. She isn’t as happy as she was with the Crouches but is a great deal happier than she was in Hogwarts. She’s a lot stricter with the kids than Kreacher is. But she has a soft spot for Master Al 

The Potter family has three dogs and an owl. A German Shepherd-Labrador mix called Snuffles, a brown Husky mix called Moo (he was originally called Moony but Jamie couldn’t pronounce it properly), and a black Wolfhound mix called Paddy (Al couldn’t say Padfoot and the name stuck). The owl is a tawny owl and is officially called Lord Thomas Dark Lordiness Riddle Jr Jr but only answers to Tommy (Ginny thought it was hilarious and Harry went along with it after seeing the humour. Ron, Hermione, Neville and Andromeda were horrified. Luna earnestly told them she thought it was an excellent name. No one else ever found out the origins of “Tommy”. Nearly everyone who knows goes to great lengths to keep it that way)

Teddy gets his own owl when he goes to Hogwarts. He calls her Pandora

Jamie spends an entire year trying to convince his parents that he should be able to take one of the dogs with him to Hogwarts. They point blank refuse. The last day before the express leaves he turns up in the kitchen with Harry’s enchanted Hungarian Horntail model and asks if he can take her as his pet (he’s named her Thorns the Glorious). Ginny throws her hands up and basically yells “FINE!” like a teenager

Al is not allowed a pet. He nearly killed the owl by accident with one of his experiments. He is not allowed a pet. He’s fine with this. He’d forget to feed it anyway.

Lily-Lu spends a not-insignificant amount of time trying to decide between a cat and a snake. Both of them eat rats. She eventually decides on a     part-kneazle that basically pounces on her in “Magical Menangerie”. She names her Tiger. Tiger is terrifying

Teddy is a Hufflepuff, like his first Mum. He’s a chaser like his second Mum. He has his second Dad’s temper but rarely lets it out. His first dad refused to judge people by their appearances or what other people thought and he does so too. This is something his other parents had to work at but that comes naturally to him.

He loves chocolate frogs more than almost anything.

He’s been in love with Victoire for longer than he’s known what that means

He is addressed as Mr Potter throughout his school years and the surname he uses for his Auror application is Potter. The Lupin in front is private and only used when his full name is required or if he’s in trouble

Jamie is a Gryffindor, like his parents, his biological grandparents and his namesakes. Sometimes he’s a little disappointed that he isn’t a Hufflepuff like Teddy

He’s a chaser on his house team and becomes captain in his fifth year

He always asks for Bertie Botts whenever they have sweets. He knows which ones are the nasty flavours but when his siblings are upset he’ll make sure that they only get the nice ones and he gets all the horrible ones. This never fails to make them smile.

He mocks and bullies Al quite a bit but the only time someone else tried they ended up in St Mungo’s and he was grounded for a year. He doesn’t regret this

He wants to play quidditch professionally and has always been lowkey disappointed that the Holyhead Harpies will never be an option for him

Al is a Ravenclaw. He follows Teddy and Jamie everywhere to the point that they want to scream and tie him up so he’ll stop and when he can’t follow them it’s his parents or his Nana Andy or his Nana Molly or his Gramps. His first word is “why”. This word also happens to be his     favourite word. He is very confused when he is sorted into Ravenclaw. He is the only one.

His best friend is his cousin Rose. On the Hogwarts Express he sees a small blonde boy trying to avoid upper years. “This will be my person” he decides. This boy is Scorpius Malfoy. Rose is her parent’s daughter, so when her best friend decides to adopt the strange little boy that doesn’t want to make friends, she immediately decides to befriend him too. These three befriend muggleborn Daisy Dursley, fellow Ravenclaw, approximately 6 weeks into the year. There is a very hasty and strained family reunion on the platform at the start of the Christmas hols. The Potters end up at Privet Drive for New Year (conspicuously missing a walrus-mustasched man). The relationship quickly gets less strained after the first time Daisy goes to the Potter’s house and nearly blows it up.

Unlike his siblings and their friends, Al does not make mischief when left unsupervised. Al experiments. It takes exactly one visit from Rose, Scorpius and Daisy for such visits to always be supervised. There was     fire. There were explosions. More than one person escaped harm by the skin of their teeth. No one likes to talk about it.

Experiments in the Potter, Malfoy, Granger-Weasley, and Dursley households are BANNED.

Al loves sugar quills. Victoire thinks it’s adorable. Al pointedly refuses to suck on them in her presence

Lily-Lu is in Slytherin. This surprises no one.

By the time she’s in third year she lowkey runs the dungeons. Professor Greengrass couldn’t be more proud

The Scamander twins are her best friends/loyalest minions despite being in the year below, nearly two years younger, and not in Slytherin

Her favourite sweets are ice mice. She tried to throw Jamie down the moving staircase once, when he transfigured them into real mice.

She’s been terrified of rats and mice ever since she was little when she found out that Peter Pettigrew was able to turn into one. No amount of convincing her that he was long dead ever helped

She’s the most stubborn person in the family and also unable to refuse a dare if it comes from her brothers. Teddy and Al are reasonable about this. Jamie abuses this fact mercilessly

She will continue with charades to the point of ridicule just to prove     that she can

If Janet from The Good Place can wear dresses and have long hair and use she/her pronouns and not be a girl, so can you!

Alpha-17 and Obi-Wan being friends (derogatory) on 17's part and friends (threatening) on Obi-Wan's part is such an underrated dynamic

They could be so funny and terrifying, like Obi-Wan went through a soul shredding experience with Alpha-17 as his only company. They're friends because what else are you gonna be after you witness each other at absolute rock bottom from torture.

It's like 'dog put in cage of cheetah who's threatening to go crazy', except the dog is a grizzly bear and also threatening to go crazy.

Emotional support trooper except the trooper in question has never done any sort of supporting in his life and is actively an emotional distress trooper to a great number of the CC batch.

I want them texting everyday, I want Obi-Wan mailing handmade BFF bracelets to Alpha and Alpha sending pics back of him flipping off the camera but still wearing them, I want Alpha using Obi-Wan to keep track of and occasionally terrorize his cadets, I want 17 ending problems in the GAR (like Krell) before they begin because Obi-Wan has him shipped out on a personal transport at the first opportunity, decked out with slug-throwers Obi-Wan got him for his decant-day.

Natborn officers think this is all just an odd indulgence of General Kenobi, the Vode, however, correctly identify it as a goddamn threat and their danger assessment of Obi-Wan ticks up significantly.

When Alpha arrives on Kamino, Shaak Ti presses a shiny new comm into his hand. It has the Jedi Order symbol painted onto it alongside a smiley face sticker, and it pings immediately with a new message: Hello! I hope you're settling in well!

Alpha stares at the message, stares at the singular contact named 'OWK' and then stares Shaak Ti in the eye as he pitches the comm straight into the ocean. Shaak Ti's serene smile only grows larger as she calmly reaches into her robes and pulls out an identical comm, only this one has a frowny face sticker, and presses it into his hand. It lights up: I'm afraid we've bonded, Alpha :). Alpha shuts it off and pockets it with resignation.

Cody arrives on Alpha-17's personal recommendation.

A-17: He's the most difficult little bastard I have. You're perfect for each other. OWK: Thank you, he's very handsome :3 A-17: No. Stop.

The first thing he asks once he gets comfortable is who his general is texting so much that has him swinging his legs and twirling his hair. Cody assumes it's Anakin, given they seem joint at the hip anyway, but little does he know Obi-Wan's ability to consistently have the Weirdest Relationships Ever.

"Oh, it's Alpha-17, I understand you're familiar with each other?" Hmm. OK. Cody.exe is experiencing a processing error, please hold. He exits the room instead of answering. The next day he peeks over the General's shoulder when he's texting and sees walls of rambling messages from Obi-Wan. Alpha-17 replies every hour with a single text: Lose this number. Obi-Wan giggles. "He's so funny." he says.

When Obi-Wan meets the rest of the CC batch, Cody makes sure to stand perfectly angled so that he can record the reactions when his general cuts off their introductions with "Oh, no need, Alpha-17's told me all about you." It's always immediate FEAR.JPG followed by a slow spiral of What The Fuck.

What do you mean by that General. What does that mean Cody. What do you mean they text. No. Cody. What the fuck is happening, Cody. Alpha-17 doesn't have friends he has enemies and enemies he tolerates enough not to shoot on sight.

OWK: Wolffe reached for his vambrace? when I mentioned you A-17: That's where he keeps his spare knife. OWK: Hm that does explain the way he eyed me up, ambitious. A-17: Clearly not enough, he should have followed through. I taught them better.

I thought that was adorable!