Valeriannnnnn - Valerian

When a disabled person says that they can’t do something, we don’t mean that we just don’t want to. We also don’t mean maybe. We mean that we physically cannot do it or that we could, but it could really harm us. We have to pay consequences. You don’t.

Every time someone (incl disabled people) say that disability is just a social construct, a fairy looses their wings

i’ve been thinking a lot lately about AI and its use in pornography, specifically in the seemingly gendered approach to it. Broadly speaking, there is a sort of ‘binary’ to the demographics of AI Pornography; men, typically, gravitate towards AI Images while women tend to gravitate more towards AI erotic roleplay (such as Chai and similar platforms which permit 18+ roleplay, unlike CharacterAI, generally speaking). While the gendered differences in consumption of pornography have been discussed and analysed before, I’m particularly interested in the broader implications of the intersection of AI and roleplay within pornography as I feel it differs from the traditional erotica-focused/text-focused pornography that many women gravitate towards, which I feel indicates a broader social pattern.

Particularly, what fascinates me about this is how much of this roleplay isn’t simply action-based (i.e., focused solely on sex) but rather more narrative-based (i.e., a specific dynamic - a mafia husband who’s secretly falling for you, a demon boyfriend courting his angel girlfriend, a prince smitten with a princess, and so on), which speaks to a broader desire for emotional connection.

Simply put, a cursory glance at these bots suggests that the user demographic seeks more than just sex - they seek connection.

Now, on its own this is not inherently surprising nor new - many women tend to prefer to feel ‘desired’ or ‘courted’ by their partners - but rather, I think that the broader social context that we see this interest evolving in is noteworthy. I think it is fundamentally linked to a larger social dynamic of the growing social gaps between men and women.

Over the past several years, particularly since the start of the pandemic, men in many countries have shifted towards more conservative and reactionary viewpoints; men overwhelmingly vote conservatively, many men have become far more outspoken in their misogynistic viewpoints, and many men have overwhelmingly demonstrated themselves to not be a desirable partner - be it due to politics, unequal contributions to domestic labour, disinterest in female sexual pleasure, or a litany of other factors.

Moreover, as the rate of female college graduates continues to rise - while the male rate declines - and womens’ overall growth in careers, mental health, education, income, and similar categories catches up to - or outright outpaces - mens’ performance, more and more women have seemed to developed a growing awareness that, simply put, being in a relationship with a man frankly does not offer the same benefits as it once did.

In reaction to this, many - though not all, of course - men have reacted negatively, instead doubling down on these behaviours rather than seeking to improve, which, in turn, has resulted in many women de-centering and de-prioritising men.

Concurrent to this, we’ve seen the rapid development and evolution of AI, which almost offers an escape - the ability to instead find fulfillment from an ‘AI Boyfriend’ - who’ll never leave dishes by the sink or ignore your pleasure - which I think contributes to this divide. Fundamentally, if you still desire companionship, at least in the vaguest of senses, you can satisfy it momentarily through the virtual embrace of AI.

Now, this isn’t to blame women for such a pivot - it’s wholly understandable why, given the above reasons, a woman might decide that remaining single isn’t that bad of an option - but I think it nonetheless requires discussion as we stare down the question of what happens when a large portion of the population may not end up in a relationship?

Regardless of what side of the issue an individual falls on, the question nonetheless retains its gravity. Fundamentally, whether or not we view men as wholly or in part at fault for this social trend in women choosing to remain single, we must consider how this affects men.

For example, if we take a group of 100 heterosexual men and estimate that 20% of them will not end up in a relationship, that leaves 20 men effectively isolated - particularly when we look at statistics of male friendships. Now, if we assume that 40% of them are unable to find a partner for ‘self-induced’ reasons - such as holding misogynistic views, for instance - that nonetheless leaves 12 seemingly ‘decent’ men single.

Now I’m not arguing that those 12 individuals are entitled to a relationship nor that they are obligated to be ‘given a chance,’ but rather I think we must ask ourselves: what happens to those overlooked individuals? It’s not sufficient to simply say “sucks to be you” as, ultimately, humans will still desire connection. Moreover, when we look at the systems that target these men - pipelines of radicalisation, such as the Far-Right - we fundamentally need to consider the outcomes of these circumstances.

I’m not positioning myself as a ‘defender of men’ here, but I fundamentally believe that we should not just abandon a segment of the population for no reason other than their gender. While, yes, the onus does ultimately fall on men as a whole to build up spaces and connections to combat this isolation, we nonetheless have to consider, as progressives, what will we do in response to this? Will we simply abandon these individuals, telling them to effectively ‘figure it out’ and leave them to search for communities, many of which implicitly push them out?

Fundamentally, I feel that that is an issue that pervades many progressive spaces; there is this tendency to engage in rhetoric outwardly hostile towards men and then be surprised that men are broadly disinterested in these spaces.

Now, I’m not arguing that we should placate and centre men - much of this rhetoric comes from people and groups who have understandable reasons to be distrustful of men, given the unfortunately too-common experiences of male violence - but we must nonetheless consider how we communicate this. To put it bluntly, we cannot reasonably expect men to happily sit by and be told they are fundamentally evil due to their gender; rather, we should try to find a reconcile our justifiable anger towards patriarchial violence while still offering space to men.

This doesn’t mean that we have to blindly tolerate patriarchial views and attitudes - fundamentally, I believe that everyone, regardless of who they are, should be held accountable and encouraged to grow - but instead we should open ourselves to a more intersectional perspective that considers that we are all victims of patriarchial violence.

Obviously, I’m not trying to equivocate between individual experiences of patriarchial violence and present them as all equal; instead, I’m simply positing that, in our ever-divided society, extending empathy to others is beneficial to reactionary ideology when we can.

In closing, I feel the words of Bell Hooks communicate my point much better than I ever could:

“To create loving men, we must love males. Loving maleness is different from praising and rewarding males for living up to sexist-defined notions of male identity. Caring about men because of what they do for us is not the same as loving males for simply being. When we love maleness, we extend our love whether males are performing or not. Performance is different from simply being. In patriarchal culture males are not allowed simply to be who they are and to glory in their unique identity. Their value is always determined by what they do. In an anti-patriarchal culture males do not have to prove their value and worth. They know from birth that simply being gives them value, the right to be cherished and loved.” - Bell Hooks, “The Will To Change”

welcome back king (do NOT let xavier see this)

shout out to autistics who get angry when they’re overstimulated. who want to hit. who want to bite. i love you. you deserve love and care too. you are not less valid or autistic because you dont have stereotypical symptoms.

THIS IS NOT MINE.. REDNOTE: http://xhslink.com/a/297um5OmvpHbb •THE AUTHOR ALLOWED ME TO POST THIS.•

hi everyone!! your 5th favourite queer yapper on tumblr has excited news !!

if youre into abstract art, i have a portfolio ^-^ you can find it here

alsooo i'll be posting my first lookbook In The Soon™️ on my instagram so take a look if you wanna see ^-^

Another thing I've noticed working as a children's librarian is like... kids get so Paralyzed By Choice and the adults in their lives never really register why. Like, for example, we have little scavenger hunt sheets in the children's section and when a kid completes it, they get to pick out a cute eraser from our prize basket. We also have a little toy prize chest as part of our "1000 books before Kindergarten" challenge for when kids complete 100 books--and kids will spend minutes carefully picking through everything while their parents are shooting us anxious looks like "sorry they're taking so long! I know this is silly and it's completely ridiculous that my child is taking so long to choose between a bath toy and a cube puzzle because these are cheap and arbitrary objects! Hurry up, Harper! Just pick something! You're embarrassing me!!" But in the kids' perspective, they already have so little control over what objects come into their lives, and in this case, the object represents labor and effort on their end, so of course they feel they must choose very carefully. I've always been an anxious and indecisive person, so it's striking to see how being rushed really doesn't help that and really only makes it harder for kids to figure out what they want.

PAIRINGS. . . xavier x reader

CW. . . smut, small spoon!xavier, kinda sub!xavier

xavier was soft in your arms—literally and figuratively.

curled into your chest, his back flush against your front, legs tangled under the blankets. his breathing was even, gentle. like he hadn’t meant to fall asleep so quickly, but your arms around him and the steady stroke of your fingers along his chest made it impossible not to.

your hand was tucked under his shirt, fingers spread across the warm skin of his torso, right over his heart where his heartbeat pulsed soft under your palm, which wandered lower a few beats later.

he was already hard when you found him, cock flushed and heavy where it curved against his stomach. you pressed a slow, featherlight kiss to the back of his neck and wrapped your fingers around him.

xavier stirred with a soft, strained grunt, hips twitching the tiniest bit into your palm. you smiled.

“shh,” you whispered gently, letting your fingers slide down his length and back up again, dragging him gently from sleep into something needier.

he whimpered when your thumb passed over the head, already slick from the way he’d started to leak, coating your fingers.

your hand worked him in a smooth rhythm, slow and teasing at first, just enough pressure to make him ache. he moaned—quiet, restrained, muffled into the pillow—and you knew he was trying to hold it in.

so you slid your free arm under his neck, hand curling around his face, fingers brushing his lips gently. “open,” you whispered. “let me hear you.”

xavier’s mouth fell open without hesitation, his tongue wrapping around your fingers, moaning low and desperate into them as your other hand jerked him a little faster.

you curled around him tighter, chin tucked into the crook of his neck, whispering soft praises right against his skin.

he was trembling in your arms now, his cock twitching with every pass of your hand, your fingers slick, your breath warm on his throat. his hips started to stutter forward, fucking your fist now, quiet little choked sounds spilling out around your fingers, exactly the way you wanted.

“can’t—” he gasped, biting on your fingers. “m’fuck, i’m close.”

when he fell apart—body trembling in your arms, cock twitching in your hand, spilling into your palm with stuttering, gasped moans—you held him tight the whole time. your mouth on his shoulder. your hand slowly stroking him through it until his hips twitched from overstimulation and he had to whimper your name to make you stop.

he let your fingers slip from his mouth, jaw slack and flushed, turning just enough to look at you with those dazed eyes.

“…fuck,” he whispered.

you smiled and wrapped yourself around him, nuzzling the juncture where neck meets shoulder. “back to sleep, baby.”

commissions ⋆˚꩜ send me a kofi !

see, the thing about Palestine that confuses me is why does it matter if it meets the 'definition' of genocide? like, is the fact that literal children are being slaughtered en masse insufficient?

what's always baffled me about zionists is that, like, even if we humour the idea that israel is wholly in the right here (as in defending themselves), do the war crimes not bother them?

like, i don't get how anyone can look at something like bombing a refugee camp and not feel bothered by this. even if you truly believe that israel is the victim here, how can you justify actions this horrific?

especially because there isn't even plausible deniability here, like israel is basically celebrating and sharing evidence of this, so it's like you have clear proof of crimes against humanity being committed, and you're just like "yeah ends justify the means" then????

(and, if it's not obvious, i fully support Palestine)