Call me Virgil, I steal pancreas, and I randomly hyperfixate on random things. Enjoy your stay on my strange little page.|Any pronouns
276 posts
Latest Posts by walmartkeeboplushie - Page 2
Yeah yknow?
hey... don't cry.... tesla recall for most cybertrucks, okay? >46,000 vehicles affected <3
things i say that confuse and worry my coworkers:
“happy birthday” every time i hand them something
“well, that’s not ideal” whenever something is going wrong
“we are in the timeline that god abandoned” whenever i’m mildly inconvenienced
“can’t you see that your fighting is tearing this family apart?” whenever two or more coworkers are arguing
referring to taking medication as “eating medicine”
“time to go back to prison!” when putting animals back in their cages
referring to inanimate objects as (s)he, particularly when i break something and say “oh no, he’s dead.” this concerns them especially when i follow it up with “that’s not ideal”
“what are they gonna do, fire me?”
Next time you're around when the mail gets delivered, ask your delivery person if they're understaffed or not.
But don't hold them up too much, they have a lot of work to do.
need $30 for life-saving meds
hey yall. sorry to ask for help so soon but someone backed out of a payment they owed me and it's left me beyond short again for needed medication.
characters for sale and offer here
ko fi link
cashedapp: $JudasStarmoon
vendmoe
tysm in advance 💜
Listen.
EVERYBODY knows (or should) that you DO. NOT. STOP. in Vidor, Texas.
It’s best to just run out of gas elsewhere. Whatever you do, black folks, DO NOT STOP IN VIDOR, TEXAS.
There’s a good chance you’ll get lynched or just come up missing - and I’m not joking.
also do NOT stop in Harrison, Arkansas!!!! (relatively close to OK and MI) a nazi town with a BIG KKK organization.
Reblog To Save Life
big day today
British man: I can’t take a bloody shit!
Doctor: But you shouldn’t be having bloody bowel movements in the first place.
It IS true that being on here gives you a tumblr accent. This morning my mother asked me something and i replied "i don't know i've never heard these words in that order" and she nearly choked laughing. It wasn't even that funny
people are literally so boring a male character will kill 10000 people and steal candy from babies and theyll be like omg thats my king! but a female character is rude once and theyre like i hope she dies violently
These posts are cousins to me.
delighted to discover there’s a bird called awebo that says “awebo”
Oh no. MAGA is mad that the NYT shared the names of DOGE staffers. Don’t share this! Would be a shame
I know it’s not hard to point out reactionaries hypocrisy when it comes to like safe spaces or hug boxes or whatever but genuinely how much of an echo chamber do you have to exist in for you to think this is a reasonable thing to say
funny i made a week ago
In honor of the Ides of March approaching, here’s the trash can I wrote on 2 years ago and only touch up in March
YOU WOULDNT SANDERS A SIDE
[ID: the "You wouldn't download a car" meme rewritten to say "You wouldn't sanders a side" with "was waiting for someone to do this one" underneath in small lettering /END ID]
“hi welcome to mcdonalds what can i get for you?”
“yeah can i get a deluxe quarter pounder with cheese?”
“absolutely, do you want the meal or just the sandwich?’
“uuuuuh hold on”
*fishes something out of my pocket*
“mikey what do i do?”
“get the fries. youll need the energy in the coming days”
*stuffs it back in my pocket*
“uhh yes please the meal would be great”
you need to care about ALL trans men and transmascs
fat men and mascs gnc men and mascs butch men and mascs intersex men and mascs disabled men and mascs neurodivergent men and mascs men and mascs of color and especially black and indigenous trans men and mascs
You can only reblog this today.
white dude in this horror movie : *translates old arabic text* *somehow it rhymes perfectly in english*
Remember: the more difficult you make it for them to realize a report is false, the more useless you make the portal.