Wasted-life-musings - Musings Of A Wasted Life

Here’s a really quick Coma White cover I did oh...atleast 10 years ago, I found this accidentally while looking through some old folder.

I think tumblr proves you dont need substance, but tits, even tits you’re never gonna touch, sell super, super well...how, cartoony.

It's dreamy weather we're on, you waved your crooked wand Along an icy pond, with a frozen moon, a murder of silhouette,crows I saw And the tears on my face, and the skates on the pond They spell Alice

I disappear in your name, but you must wait for me Somewhere across the sea, there's a wreck of a ship Your hair is like meadow grass, on the tide, and the raindrops on my window And the ice in my drink, baby all I can think of is Alice

When you’re lonely, you seek people.  You find people, you compromise, you sell your good traits and pretend the bad arent there, an vice versa.  When you reach a certain point, you dont care anymore and all your relationships fail, and then you’re lonely for a long time, and then you hook up out of desperation with excuses therein as to why you arent desperate.

And of course those relationships fail, because theyre more about your own problems and less about the people involved therein.  Then you stop caring, and die.  Some people do this quicker than others.  We all start as hot love affairs and end as roomates with benefits, yet we all waste so much time on it.

Id say Humans are 45% concerned with love, 45% concerned with highs, be it drugs or overeating or whatever, 5% regret, and 5% coercive optimism.  Maybe if we all stopped lying to ourselves and eachother we could get somewhere..i mean, did you SEE the new walking dead, how amazing, this is a life well spent, the big bang theory, hahahaha, he said  something sorta nerdy and there was a laugh track! hahahaha, im gonna eat some popcorn, pretend to read a book to appeal to hipsters, then check my many online dating profiles for a hit, this is me spending my life well, this is me, progressing....

How many selfies can one take before they’re considered a narcissistic nightmare anyways?

Here’s a song I always thought would sound better fingerpicked, of course pulling it off didn’t go ALL that well.  Here’s me playing “ You Only Live Once “ by the Strokes, one of the only newish bands I think are worth a fuck

Here’s a song I posted awhile ago, these are random people doing it, but this is probably CLOSER to the original 1800s version of the song.  Little Pretty Anna...

The Human story: When you’re very young, the world is confusing, you struggle to understand the meaning of life, and therefore life is an abstract, fairly meaningless.  In the middle of your life, you have brushes with death maybe, health problems, near OD’s, your parents die and suddenly you’re very alone.  You work through it, but you start to fear death. 

Maybe I skipped a chapter already but at one point if you’re lucky you stop fearing the unknown, you realize everytime you sleep you die and hope you’re reborn, some people find god, and try to right all their wrongs out of fear, but death is the great equalizer, and is necessary.  Unlike Humans, Earth recycles everything and there are only X amount of resources therefore only Y amout of things can live on X. 

Do I fear death?  Sorta, do I also contemplate death as a release from the sufferings of the world?  You bet, but really it all comes down to how stubborn you are, I’m not in love with life, life has been shitty to me, and now that I’m old enough to do something about it I’ve lost all ambition therein.  At the same time, unlike some hot topic teen goth I dont romanticize death, death is grizzly and horrible. 

Most adults make a life via their vocations and families, they dont have to contemplate their mortality or the nature of the universe, not often, but I dont have that luxury, and as I sit here in my little self made cell, high or drunk on whatever, I think my perspective is different than alot of people. 

Every angsty teen is in love with death because they have a goldfish like brain, and they’re just finding the ocean, most adults are affraid to swim, so they only swim for reasons they make up, money, career advancement, what have you, and some pull the trigger and sink.  Death comes to us all, how you handle it is what makes you you, and everything you say do or think will be defined by this one basic premise, youll either be reckless or fearless, and both are really a sham.  You WILL die, your loved ones will die, in 200 years no one will remember your name, anyone who would will die, invent a heaven or live with it, live to youre old and pissing yourself in a bag, die at 20 from an OD it really doesnt matter you’re just a building everyones waiting to fall down so they can use your bones to shape a new building, you matter completely and you dont matter at all.

I refuse to cry for the people I know that have died young from drugs, i refuse to cry for the people that lived to be old enough to drain excess resources to prolong their inevitable demise, I refuse your concept of reality, I refuse.