UM

How dare he. How dare he give his affection to some random child instead of his own blood. How dare he not even search for his brother. It isn’t fair. It isn’t fair that Marcus has love and adoration, while Snatcher has nothing but fear. Sure he ate a few (dozen) people, but it isn’t his fault he was hungry. He couldn’t help it. It just wasn’t fair. Well, maybe it’s a little fair, he has been terrorizing the kingdom for over 2 decades now after all. It doesn’t really matter anyway. His reputation isn’t the point here. The point here is that Marcus is about to add another member to his family. Now, Snatcher can’t let this happen for a few reasons.

1. It isn’t fair that Marcus has people to care for.

2. It isn’t fair that Marcus has people who care for him.

3. Even if Marcus does do his best to care for people, Snatcher could DEFINITELY care for people better. He is the oldest after all.

Maybe he should demonstrate that. He could be wayyyy better at caring for a child than Marcus. He could prove it. All he needed was a child. Luckily he knows where to find one, holding onto his dear younger brother’s hand. It should be pretty easy.

This is an approximation of The Subon Snatcher’s thoughts as he began to slither alongside the two figures walking down the forest path back towards the manor. If he wanted to do this, he would have to do it soon, as the shrubs would stop being thick enough to hide him a few yards away.

A large creature slithers out of the brush. It is unlike anything Marcus has ever seen before, with glistening long yellowed fangs, elongated eyes the color of slightly dirty gold, a long sinuous body covered in feathers a shade or two darker than the skin of a plum, and two long and thin legs with claws on the end.

“A child for me before a child for you.” The creature hissed.

It’s arms darted out to grab his new little girl, who Marcus had recently discovered was named Beatrice. 

“Stop!”

The shout echoed through the trees. It took Marcus a moment to realize that the exclamation had come from his own mouth.

“You want a child? I can get you one, please just leave Beatrice alone.” A pleading tone leaked into the king’s voice. Of course he would never actually give The Snatcher (as that is the name of this beast in front of him. Marcus had heard complaints of him for as long as he can remember) a child. He just wanted this serpentine avian to leave them alone.

“Will you now?” The Snatcher hissed coldly.

“Of course!” Marcus replied, a little too quickly. “I’ll come back as soon as I can with a nice juicy little girl for you.”

“I don’t believe you.” A skeptical expression, or as close as you can get with such a monstrous form, slid onto the snake’s face.

“R…really? Perhaps you could come back to the city and help you pick one out?” Of course, this was Marcus just trying to buy time, There’s no way this thing would be stupid enough to come to the village with him, right?

“Alright, but you’d better walk fast. You humans are all so slow.” Aaaand nevermind then. Apparently he’s doing this.

tired: mermaids are all women

wired: much like elves, merfolk are mistaken by sailors for being all women because they have long hair and are very pretty

I love talking with neurotypical people about my executive dysfunction because I'm like "yeah there's this invisible wall in my head that I'm incapable of getting past no matter what I do and it stops me from doing things" and they're like what the actual fuck

Meanwhile other neurodivergents are like

But what if it was all a dream

no offense but I heard the evil scientist say he likes studying me better than you

Nope. That, my friend, is a shapeshifter.

Kinda surprised how many different animals can be black and tan

I think that a really cool au idea for a hat in time would be one based on the prince lindworm fairytale. Maybe not romantic, but there’s some dadcher potential… like it’s a story about a worm monster with no back legs who is secretly a prince who becomes human through the power of love/being hit with a really big stick, so I think that would be neat to do something with. I’m nowhere near talented enough to do anything with it though lol

:) thanks I needed to hear this

hey. don't cry. I went to Mad At You island and none of your friends were there :)