Its Not Your Fault.

Its not your fault.

Depression is, when you’re in it, absolutely ridiculous, because it seems to be the most important thing in the world when it’s happening. At the same time, it robs the world of any importance, as if nothing could ever happen again. It is a nightmare of infinity wrapped in cellophane.

Whenever I describe it happening, it sounds absurd. And it is.

I wish I could say it gets easier each time, but I never know how long it’s going to be.

I never know when the colors will come back.

I never know if this will be the one that wins.

The one thing I know is that depression is not your fault. Depression is not a “sin.” It isn’t a matter of your worth or effort or grit or value. You may have tried everything and nothing worked: but that’s the monstrous evil of depression. It isn’t you. It has nothing to say about you. You are loved, regardless. You are not your depression. You are always more. There is always more. — J.S.