hi me again um i'm thinking about andrew going to aaron's wedding. thinking about what nora said about neil using two favours, one to get him there, one to make sure he didn't start anything during the ceremony. did aaron check the guestlist eight times to make sure his brother was on there. did he make sure there were places and invites specifically for andrew and by extension neil. is it the first time aaron sees andrew in person since going to med school. does he wait by the entrance, half-heartedly greeting people, scanning the blurry faces for blond hair. does nicky have to drag him away eventually and tell him to relax and aaron, he's going to come, just breathe, okay? does aaron smile and thank nicky and then go back to inspecting the crowd for his identical copy. does he catch sight of andrew and immediately look away, move to a different area, because he needed andrew to be there, but he didn't realize he couldn't actually talk to him yet? and after everything's over, after dinner and the reception and everything's wrapping up, is that when andrew finally comes over. does he find aaron, against the wall, katelyn taking her cue to leave, and do they stay silent for a moment. if they speak who talks first? does aaron say "i didn't think you would come", admitting it out loud for the first time? does andrew say "i didn't think you had it in you"? or is it as silent as so many of their conversations as brothers have been, but the angry devotion touched with resentment doesn't burn like it used to, they're older now, family doesn't hurt now. the bridge across the gap between them grows stronger with every step they take across it.
wordlessly andrew says"i'm proud of you" and aaron says "i know."
The line ‘He’s not allowed to fight his addiction.’ changed my perception of Andrew Minyard forever
Wymack was ready to propose to Kayleigh, but choose to leave to not overstep Kayleigh boundaries. Wymack called Kayleigh to know if Kevin was his and was ready to be a dad, but she said no so Wymack let it go. He sees Kayleigh everytime he looks at Kevin.
Betsy developed an unnoticed way to call Andrew's attention when he is going anxious and trying to hurt himself. That way he stops and nobody notices.
Andrew accepted joining PSU because it was Aaron's opportunity to study medicine and became the doctor their mother couldn't believe he could be.
Aaron was able to see through Andrew's denial about his feelings for Neil. Because he knew his brother ticks, expressions and mannerisms better than he let it show.
When Andrew and Aaron graduate, they hug. Andrew is the last to let go.
You know I get it.
(The Raven King, ch.14)
This one line lives in my head rent-free. Neil may be antagonistic, but he never hated Aaron. He wanted him to be happy from the beginning.
I will say that at the heart of Jeremy and Neil's stiff attitudes towards the other is that they are worried about Jean. Jeremy sees Neil show up at a bad time and take Jean out and brings him back an even bigger mess, so of course he would be a little put off. And when Neil showed up, he saw Jean all beat up and immediately asked Jean in French if the Trojans did this to him. It will all probably be cleared up, maybe, but i love that they are so protective of Jean. 🥺
even though renee isn’t in the books as much as some of the others, i’d argue that she’s on the same level as andrew and kevin in terms of importance, not necessarily because of her impact on the main plot but more because she symbolizes something these characters desperately need: hope. first of all, it has become increasingly obvious to me that she’s a narrative foil to neil. not only do they leave their sketchy pasts behind, change their names, and dye their hair, but their birth names (natalie, nathaniel) are incredibly similar. renee represents who neil would be if he actually processed his issues instead of running away from them (“i’m not proud of my past, but i’ll never heal if i hide it”). neil is so unsettled by renee because she’s the person who neil has been told for his entire life that it’s too dangerous to be. he dyes his hair to blend in. she dyes her hair to stand out. and she’s HAPPY. she’s not dead like neil’s been brainwashed to believe. then, of course, there’s her iconic friendship with andrew. i’m not going to say that she’s the only one who andrew likes, because we all know he’s very protective of his cousin, brother, and neil. however, renee is the only one who andrew never lashes out at. if renee hadn’t intervened when andrew was attacking allison, who knows what would’ve happened? finally, there’s her connection to jean. jean was denied color for years, surrounded by black and red, never thinking that he would escape. his first interaction with renee always stands out to me because for the first time, he’s left speechless. he sees renee and her rainbow hair and can do nothing but stare. how could he not fall in love with a girl who goes so directly against the rules of his abusers? and she gets him out of the nest. she’s the reason why he defies all the other drafts and stays alive. throughout the books, she grounds andrew, saves allison, and gives jean a reason to keep living. the events of all for the game and the sunshine court couldn’t have happened without renee. none of it could’ve. she was at the center of it all the whole time
I wanna see more andreil "arguments" that's just them being petty assholes to each other. andrew calls neil an idiot on a plane one time and neil tells him "we are 32,000 feet in the air"
I'm like 99.99% sure that Eden's is a gay bar. It makes so much sense. But just imagine Aaron never knowing after 4 years, despite working there with Andrew and Nicky, and Kevin also never realizing.
jeremy knox gets grumpy when he's sick.
the first time jean sees it he is kind of amused. instead of getting up early as he usually does, jeremy doesn't get out of bed until cat and laila storm the bedroom he shares with jean saying breakfast has been done for over an hour.
jean stands by the door, an eyebrow raising as he sees jeremy put the covers over his head to avoid dealing with his friends. something jean has never seen him do before, something that is so not like jeremy.
"come on, jeremy. it's saturday. we already didn't do anything last night, you're not going to waste today."
cat insists while trying to pull the covers off jeremy who with a weak sigh ends up giving up and just letting her do it. the moment both laila and cat see his face they realize what's happening.
"what the hell, jeremy! what have i told you about hiding in the room while dying sick instead of literally asking for help?"
"don't be dramatic. i'm just tired." jeremy unconvincingly tries to calm his friend who already had her hand on his forehead.
"bullshit. you literally have a fever right now. sit up, laila is gonna bring something for you to eat before taking some medicine."
"not hungry. just want to sleep." jeremy whined once again trying to put the covers over his head.
"don't make me get jean to get you out of this bed."
"leave me out of this." jean warned still standing by the door and the moment jeremy heard his voice he felt himself more alert.
the last person jeremy wanted to see him weak, pale and sick was jean. he closed his eyes, defeated. and started sitting up knowing cat wouldn't leave that room until he did exactly as he was told. he awkwardly ran his fingers through his messy hair knowing it'd be useless.
"satisfied?" jeremy crossed his arm grumpily like a child and jean strongly held back the sudden urge he had to laugh- something he seemed to be wanting to do more ever since moving out with cat and laila- at the scene.
laila then re-entered the room carrying a plate of toast with eggs and a cup of the orange juice they had in the fridge especially for occasions like these.
"lighten up, princess. i know you love being babied by us."
laila handed him the plate and put the juice on the bedside table. jeremy who still had his arms crossed against his chest pouted a little.
"not like this! i hate being sick!"
and he did. jeremy didn't get sick as often but when he did, oh boy. it was hell. it'd usually take him at least three days to fully recover everytime and he hated how useless he felt between that time which resulted in a very grumpy, very whiny captain sunshine.
"poor thing. i know it sucks, but you'll feel a little better once you eat and take the meds." laila caressed his hair getting a content little sigh from him this time.
"thank you, guys." he then remembered jean standing by the door and immediately felt his cheeks burn from embarrassment.
"good morning, jean!" jeremy offered him a little smile.
"eat your eggs."
"he learns fast." cat joked and jeremy groaned.
"great. just what i need, three nurses wannabe"
"we can just let jean do the work if that's what you want."
laila winked at him and jeremy almost choked on the eggs he had just put in his mouth.
"alright, alright. we'll let you eat your food and then check on you again later. don't forget to take the meds for the fever after eating."
the girls left the room, but jean stayed where he was.
"jean? are you really gonna stand there and watch me eat?" jeremy joked a bit embarrassed still.
"i do not think you should be alone while sick."
"i'm okay, jean. really."
jean seemed to ponder for a few seconds before leaving. jeremy barely had time to finish chewing a piece of toast before jean was back already.
"to make you company."
jeremy thought his cheeks were gonna crack with the way his smile was so big on his face. in front of him there was nothing less than a six foot french man holding a cardboard dog cutout to put by his bedside.
"jean! you're amazing. thank you!" jeremy said cheerfully, his smile still bright and big on his face. "you... you can stay too if you'd like. i mean-" jeremy's face heated as he struggled with his own words.
"after im done preparing lunch with cat and laila."
jeremy smiled again.
"i will be here. we will." jeremy brought barkbark closer to him and jean rolled his eyes, but the small smile wanting to appear on his face before he left the room didn't go unnoticed by jeremy.