Ugh, I Know, Right?? When I (age Ten, Probably) First Got My Hands On The Book I Read The First And The

To be fair, he IS an Uchiha. What else is he supposed to make if not a scene? Pottery? That spot's filled, I'm afraid.

oh how Obito likes to make a scene

you just didn't have to do it, honey. you didn't have to if you didn't want to deal with him anymore. oh, you just wanted to show off in front of your man and be like "look it's me, will you find out it's me?" well fuck he will. as you wish.

What if,,, Ryuk came to Earth to watch murder clownery but halfway through decided he preferred star-crossed lovers slow burn romance. And then spent like ten episodes trying to get Light and L together, completely fucking over both of their plans because what can they do against him?

umm, canon

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Hm. When Itachi got him with Amaterasu post-mortem I assume Obito either used Kamui to snuff it out with vacuum or just chopped his arm off and grew a new one in a span of seconds, which is badass. What would he do against a glue trap, though?

Theoretically, first such attack would not yield much since aside from scenes with Kakashi he wears a wardrobe worth of clothes (not gay at all, Kishi, good job as always), but attempts two, three, four would potentially have a chance. Is Obito's control of Kamui good enough to only move his bare ass and not the glue particles already among his skin/zetsu cells? Would he ditch the paper but actually be unable to get rid of glue? Is it why he wears a hellish amounts of clothes up until he uses Izanagi? Because Konan drenched him in glue and now all of those are stuck to him? Is it how Konan learnt about the way around Kamui?

And the main question: if he was unable to get rid of particles but really wanted to, would he just,,, pull his skin off? Like a snake. Would Orochimaru sue him because of Copyright?

konan has amassed 600 billion glue traps. she DOES plan to kill you.

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This speaks to me on spiritual level.

#andrzej sapkowski tower of fools

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He does look like exactly the actor for such a character, tho.

SO SOMEHOW MY YAOI SHIRT ENDED UP IN MY DAD’S LAUNDRY BASKET HELP I CAN’T BREATHE

thinking about if konoha ninja who became anbu frequently 'died' so they wouldn't be on any registry and so other villages would get word that notable shinobi have 'died'. they don't do it often, that would be suspicious, but they do it to kakashi. minato assigns him to anbu and apologizes blandly when he tells him his death is going to be faked. kakashi, broken traumatized and depressed, thinks nothing of it.

kakashi 'dies' on a mission months after the death of rin, after obito watched, after he lost pretty much everything and any sense of self he had. his body isn't recovered and the circumstances of his death are unclear.

if im being entirely cruel, this means that no one in the village (guy, asuma, iruka, etc.) would know that kakashi is still alive. they all think he's dead and they grieve him and kakashi... disappears. he doesn't know himself anymore and he can't, because he's dead and he's in the anbu now and that's all that matters. his life for konoha in life and death, always.

obito, being the stalker he is, looks for kakashi. he missed him entering the anbu, he missed the faked funeral, he missed a lot. he tries to find him in his shoebox apartment, stakes out minato's home, sits at the memorial stone and rin's grave. but kakashi never shows up and obito decides he'll check the active missions in konoha, just to know where kakashi is (definitely not to follow him and watch him, that'd be weird, duh). so after sneaking into the hokage's office with kamui, he rifles through the piles of s-rank and a-rank missions, but kakashi's name is nowhere to be found. confused and almost insulted on kakashi's behalf, he checks the b-ranks and below, but no dice.

now obito is getting...nervous might not be the word but he's definitely feel angry at this point. if kakashi isn't home, on a mission, grieiving, or with minato then where is he. obito stalks guy next, finds him sitting on a rock by a stream, glum. he's pale, his eyes are watery, he looks exhausted and obito is definitely nervous at this point. he'd never admit it but for something to get guy of all people down... obito fears for the worst.

through much stalking and espionage, obito finds out where kakashi is.

he's dead.

that can't be right.

he would've heard if kakashi was dead, right? zetsu would've told him. he would've known. kakashi has one of his eyes, he definitely would've known. and obito, pissed, scared, and indignant, opens up the connection between him and kakashi, searching for kakashi's vision, for what he can see. he hasn't done it since that night when rin...

he didn't want kakashi to know it existed, never even wanted to take that chance. but he doesn't care anymore. kakashi isn't dead. it's just not possible.

obito was right. kakashi isn't dead.

but he might as well be.

kakashi has no way out of the anbu now, no way that wouldn't give away konoha's secrets. guy can't help him because guy thinks he's dead, minato can't help him, he killed him in the first place. kakashi will forever live, breathe, and die for konoha. it makes obito's blood boil, he feels reminiscent of the night rin died.

he hates kakashi. he wants to hate kakashi. he can't hate kakashi. he can hate the world, he can despise konoha, he can want to kill minato. but kakashi...

he's never been able to hate him. no matter how hard he tried, how easy kakashi made it for him. when it came to kakashi, his balance between love and hate was never more skewed.

there's a particularly awful mission, kakashi is the only one to return to the village and he's...he's not good. obito watches him laugh hysterically as he washes his hands of blood that isn't there. he's never seen kakashi so broken and it hurts more than he ever thought it would.

obito gets kakashi out of the anbu. kakashi hates him for it, fights him, thrashes against him and his will and ideologies. kakashi doesn't know him, obito was too ahamed to reveal himself. it doesn't matter though, kakashi wants to die. he was happy in the anbu, he says. it'd be a quicker death, a noble death.

you've already died, obito shouts at him, enraged and torn apart. how can't he see it? how can he be so naive and blind to it all?

kakashi doesn't answer, doesn't know what words to say to make this stranger believe he isn't worth the trouble. obito has no choice.

with a shaking hand, he removes his mask. kakashi watches, eyes wide and wet and obito throws the mask to the side to hold out his hand. you've already died, but you can be reborn.

with me.

kakashi, broken tattered and thoroughly sure he's lost it, takes obito's hand. yes, kakashi thinks, he's died. but if this is the afterlife, than maybe things won't be so bad...

It is truly sad that the whatever-we-are-with-Scar-with-benefits isn't an option 😞 I frankly do not much care abt the fine people who had bagged us as a hero of their story, but Scar's lil club is a bit much even so. If there was a possibility of us clashing on a biweekly basis, then utilising passionate distraction technique and parting once one of us gets what they want (aside from the other kind of booty) it would be great!

he's trying his best to convince us to join his silly little crime gang (it's not working)