The Bane Of My Existence

(Source)

I feel a very Rational™ stab of fear everytime I start reading a fic with like 20 chapters and the main couple gets together at like chapter 8 or something.

I always hate it when people are all “so do you go to school, or are you working, or” and I either have to

make up some lie, or

eventually get around to “I am not working because of depression/anxiety,” and subsequently have to deal with whatever bullshit-riddled and completely unsolicited opinions on mental illness this stranger feels obligated to share with me.

So my therapist was like, “You don’t have to do either. You can just say you haven’t worked in a while because you’re recovering from an illness.”

I tried it when the home inspector was here today, and it fucking worked. He was like, “oh, I’m sorry, are you doing better now,” and I’m like yeah, and don’t worry, it’s not contagious, awkward laugh, and we moved on.

MY THERAPIST. IS A GENIUS. Because it is an illness, so it’s not a lie to say that, and it’s also none of his business to know specifically what it is, and I clearly don’t want to give more details, so we should move on from this topic. MY THERAPIST IS A GODDAMN GENIUS.

just realized I understand Luke so much because I also did everything my parent wanted from me, well beyond what any child should be expected to do, in the hopes that they'd be pleased only for them to keep asking for more and more and more and never once putting me ahead of their own desires

only difference is that I went to therapy LMAO

What is guardian drama?

Hello, anon! Guardian 镇魂 is a Chinese live action sci-fi webdrama. It’s about a special investigative department that handles cases related to supernatural criminals from the underworld. The two leads are:

Zhao Yunlan, police chief of the department in question. He’s scruffy, charming, confident in the face of danger, and sharper than he lets on. Outwardly informal to strangers in a way that’s kind of rude. Also, when he’s into someone, he’s a huge flirt.

Shen Wei, university professor.  He’s very mysterious and restrained, and tries his hardest to be all mild-mannered and polite. But he’s actually secretly ~THE BLACK-CLOAKED ENVOY~, an ancient powerful ambassador from the underworld who helps catch abovementioned supernatural criminals.

So, the deal is, Shen Wei has this epic crush on Zhao Yunlan. They have this 10,000-year-old connection that Zhao Yunlan isn’t aware of. Shen Wei would do anything to protect Zhao Yunlan, he’d kill for him and he’d die for him. He is so devoted and self-sacrificing, and you can just see the love in his eyes whenever he looks at Zhao Yunlan. And Shen Wei does this ridiculous stoic woobie thing, where he’s visibly pining and suffering and keeping secrets from Zhao Yunlan.

Zhao Yunlan is initially wary of Shen Wei..but he’s intrigued by him, and he can tell that Shen Wei is so intense about him even if he doesn’t know why, and their relationship builds over the course of several cases.

Guardian is based on a BL novel by Priest. The drama had to change many elements to get past the Chinese censors - it had to change all the supernatural/fantasy/mythological aspects into sci-fi. Shen Wei and Zhao Yunlan are a canon couple in the novel, but the drama had to scale back the m/m romance also because of the censors.

But…it’s very much there. Like, it’s screamingly obvious that Shen Wei and Zhao Yunlan are in love and they’re a couple, even if it’s subtext-that’s-pretty-much-text. The chemistry between them is palpable, and you can tell that the writers, cast and crew committed themselves to make this as gay as they possibly could (here’s a fanvid for reference). 

Caveat: this show is not high quality television and obviously had a low budget. Terrible CGI, bad voiceover dubbing, bad acting from most of the characters who are not the leads, the plot and worldbuilding is a mess, ridiculous villains, awful costuming of side and background characters, etc.

But it’s tropey fun if you’re like me and have nostalgia for shows like Torchwood and early New Doctor Who, and the love story between Shen Wei and Zhao Yunlan is one of the best things I’ve ever watched onscreen. This is a show that knows the BL fan id, which is ‘hot badass dudes getting hurt and having tender feelings for each other and gently touching each other.’

I’d like to note that this series has a sad ending that verges on being ambiguous, which sucks, but that can easily be headcanoned away. And it helps that Priest (who wrote the original novel) fixed it by connecting it to the novel universe, which does has a happy ending.

Guardian drama subbed on YouTube

Novel Translation on Wattpad

Novel Extras Translated on Wattpad

"Why can't the freaks on AO3 just go and make a site for all the gross stuff and leave AO3 alone."

Because AO3 is that site. Because AO3 was that site long before you decided AO3 was better than the sites you bullied us off of before, and I can promise you if someone somehow comes up with a fanfic site you like better specifically for the 'gross stuff' you'll try to bully us off that too so you can benefit from it.

AO3's specific core purpose is to preserve fanfiction, yes, but it was also instigated as a host site for the fanfiction that kept getting yeeted off other platforms like Wattpad. Its designed to preserve all fanfiction, not just the fanfiction you, personally, think is 'allowed' to be written.

AO3 is the site for all the gross stuff the freaks make. We've been there just as long as you. We've been funding it just as long as you have. AO3 has specifically said you have a place here. The timeline was literally:

Wattpad/FF.net/LiveJournal purge fanfics > AO3 is born > The people who's fics got purged moved over to AO3 > AO3 gains popularity as the best functioning site > The people who pushed for the fics to be purged off Wattpad move to AO3 > The same people try to push for AO3 to purge fics.

AO3's source coding is open-access. You go make a polished, strict, rigid site where nothing 'icky' is allowed. You go make a site where you can control what is hosted. We already have our space.

Person A: Do you have anything to say for yourself?!

Person B: I have a lot of things to say, first of all, BITCH.

College AU pt. 1

Luffy

Studies video game design

never has a pen or paper with him

not sure if he’s passing

once brought a chicken to class because he saw it on the street and felt bad for it

Called it Amadeus

Eats in class (not Amadeus)

Robin

Wears gucci

Smells like lavender and high class

One of the best students, also the one who lends Luffy everything because she feels bad for him

Drinks her coffee black with an extra shot of superiority

Zoro

Sleeps in most of his classes

Plays sports, studies engineering

Gets into fights regularly because “he provoked me with that eyebrow of his!”

Thinks vaping is cool

Good friends with Franky

Sanji

Thinks he’s an Instagram model

Studies Culinary Art

Has hit on every single girl on campus

Never got a date

Secretly a tap dancer

Gets into fights with Zoro daily

Brags about his chest hair when drunk

Usopp

Studies Journalism

Acts like he’s one of the cool kids

Everyone slowly starts to believe him so he’s cool now

Never listens in class, would rather scribble some pictures into his notebook

Has a meme page

Helped to pick out the name for Amadeus

Nami

Studies economics

Goes to frat parties to steal things

Thinks Luffys pranks are actually funny

She always chews bubble gum

Barely has to pay for anything because she steals everything

Is known for being a hard ass partier but just pretends to be drunk and leaves after she gets everyone’s stuff

Franky

Studies engineering

Smells like coffee and sweat

He spends his free time at the gym where he posts daily gym selfies

Gets naked when drunk

Whole college has seen his dick

Chopper

Transfer student from Canada

Has an obsession with deers

Studies Human Biology and is the only friend Law has

Doesn’t drink alcohol

Looks like he’s 12

Very popular

Brook

Studies music

Has an own band, where he is the singer, guitarist, drummer and everything else

Only member of the band

Once wrote a song about a drunk girl he made out with at a party

Runs around with the same coffee cup everyday

There’s milk in it

Law

Looks like he’s dead

Smells like Monster Energy and Depression

Studies Human Biology

People think he’s a furry (Nami started the rumor)

The only time he smiles is when he talks to his white cat called Bepo

Gets mad at Luffy for passing even though he’s dumb as hell

Listens to Skrillex only

Marco

Studies Law

Replies to everyone that slightly inconveniences him with “I’ll see you in court”

Gets all the ladies without trying

Is one of the best students

Always has sushi rolls with him no matter where he goes

His EarPods blast Mozart because he is that bitch

Ace

Studies Sociology

Falls asleep everywhere, mostly next to Zoro

Best friends with absolutely everyone besides Law

Has most of his things stolen by Nami but doesn’t know

Known for stripping when drunk

No one has seen his dick yet

Kid

Studies engineering too

One of the best engineering students and people hate to admit that

People say he eats raw meat as lunch

Has once punched a tree for provoking him

Loudly tells jokes in class but no one besides him laughs

Has tried to hit on Robin since day 1

Smells like motor oil and wood

Him and Law are enemies

Smoker (professor)

Teaches classes for criminal justice

Secretly vapes behind the building

Tells stories about war

Wears the same clothes everyday, people wonder if he has any other clothing

Smells like cigarettes and old people

“Wanna see my dope vape trick?” - “Leave me alone, old man.” - *does one single ring* “dope huh?”

Special thanks to @vvelvetfleur for saving my ass as always 💗

Me in real life :

Me reading fan fiction: