Here's A Quick Au Idea That Just Came To Me Today:

Here's a quick au idea that just came to me today:

In a modern au where Merlin is still waiting on Arthur, historians recently discovered a whole batch of legal documents from Arthur's reign. These documents detail many changes he made to the laws of Camelot, including the repeal of the magic ban (which the historians assumed was just a halt on witch hunts).

However, one thing that the historians note as strange were the large number of laws that only applied to the king's personal manservant, who was never mentioned by name in the documents. These laws range from oddly specific, such as 'the king's manservant shall not accompany knights to the tavern', to downright bizarre decrees that make no sense, like 'the king's manservant is hereby forbidden from pointing out stew in the king's hair.'

The historians' first guess was that perhaps King Arthur was going a bit mad in his later years, but they didn't find any other ludicrous laws besides the ones pertaining to his manservant, which then led the historians to question the identity of this manservant and his relationship to the king.

All of this culminates in a historical exhibit showcasing the documents and postulating on this mysterious manservant of king Arthur. Many scholars flock to the exhibit, eager to examine the documents and debate their meaning and impact within a historical context.

Which then leads to a very tired Dr. Merlin Emrys, a medieval history professor, being dragged by his colleagues to see the exhibit and having to stifle is laughter as these world-renowned scholars tear their hair out trying to understand what was essentially a prank war between him and Arthur.

More Posts from Whos-the-seme and Others

3 months ago

oooh and it proves to himself that it wasn't all just a dream or a figment of his imagination because he didn't even know how to do calligraphy or play a ancient chinese instrument in his last life, so obviously, he couldn't have possibly just made up so many years with his friends and family and binghe--

sometimes he can close his eyes while he plays and he's suddenly in his bamboo house, with binghe nearby, perhaps dusting the shelves for a millionth time as an excuse to be near his husband, and he's back home but--

he's broken out of it by applause.

he opens his eyes. his old (new, he had had such a thin face in this body) poker face slips into place as his eyes dull.

--oh. he's still here.

I love Bingge/Shen Yuan so much but I long for more AUs where Shen Yuan wakes up like the pevensies falling out of a wardrobe., and his Bingmei finds him anyway...

Shen Yuan de-transmigrates, wakes up sputtering for breath on his apartment floor, picks himself up, and tries to pretend he hasn't just lived over a decade as the main love interest in a trashy danmei series.

Swears off web novels and forums for life. He pleads with his parents for a Guqin after having shown zero interest in any constructive hobby in his life before, they're shocked he can actually play it? Like, very well? He joins a society, making waves as a scholar of traditional Chinese arts seemingly coming from out of nowhere?

Somehow he's much calmer going out in public than before. Doesn't feel his chest closing up so much... obviously it was his asthma.... (Not that he had social anxiety before, but if he did, he kind of stopped worrying in that... Weird dream? Because nobody seemed real at first. Not that they were real...) Anyway, if he just does what Shen Qingqiu would do, he always seems competent. Even if he's scrawny, dumb Shen Yuan.

He's out playing some day when he sees... someone... watching him, slightly scruffy streetwear, there one moment gone the next. He misses Binghe so bad, he's been ignoring it this whole time. And that guy - but, he needs to not be ridiculous. Stop pining for a fictional character Shen Yuan! You're better than this,!

A week later there's a knock on his door, he opens it to this short, scruffy looking guy who immediately says "Cucumber bro? Is that you?" He panics and nearly shut the door.

Someone gets their hand in the door first and pries it open.

"Shizun? That is you right? Running away again?"


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2 years ago

A Star Wars time travel full of misunderstandings starring Obi-Wan and his "harem" of clones

A Star Wars time travel fic in which Obi-Wan and a group of clones (including Cody of course!) land in the past. Decades in the past.

Ignoring all the nitty gritty details, Obi-Wan and the clones decide to keep silent on the whole time traveling aspect. So, how to explain the clones?

What ends up being the story - a combination of Obi-Wan's creative storytelling and the Mandalorians misunderstanding coupled with observations leading to the wrong conclusions - is this:

Obi-Wan had a Mandalorian lover. Obi-Wan is basically useless by himself, not remembering to take care of himself due to all sorts of past trauma and lack of self worth. Obi-Wan also loves kids.

His lover - some person of the Fett clan (which has split into multiple factions so no Fett can actually confirm or deny things) judging by the clones' appearances - decided to create clones of himself to raise as kids/backups in case he perished so that Obi-Wan would never be left alone. Plus Obi-Wan is at high risk of killed being a Jedi married to a Mandalorian, so he's excluded from being welcomed by either groups. The lover also refused to acknowledge the clones as his children. The clones have rapid-aging chips in them to make them adults.

Conclusion: the lover actually meant for the clones to be his replacement (but Obi-Wan is in denial of that particular fact). This is also the time of the Mandalorian Civil War and Clan Wars so the risk of death is pretty high and unfortunately the lover's fears of perishing... came true.

Obi-Wan now has a harem of clones serving at his beck and call. The leader of Obi-Wan's harem is called Cody, but they all pretend to be a small military group because Obi-Wan is still grieving for his fallen lover. (Obi-Wan is actually grieving for all the friends that no longer exist).

-

Obi-Wan: …why are people out there saying that I was future!Jango’s lover

Cody: Sip your tea Sir. You must have misheard before your morning cup of tea.

-

People misunderstand Obi-Wan to be from some rich, elite perhaps runaway Prince type of background.

Trained force sensitive people are rich people who can afford (and have the influence to be able) to hire Jedi/force sensitive trainers. They also have more reasons to be against giving up their children to the Jedi Temple such as arranged marriages and heirship.

Obi-Wan is also used to some luxuries that only rich people (or Jedi’s) are used to. Plus his mannerism and expansive knowledge points to being a highly educated elite. Being an elite would also explain a lot of gaps of knowledge he has about the present since only elites can ignore important and groundbreaking events like famines (aka the era Obi-Wan has time traveled to.)

Meanwhile Obi’s lover must be of a lower status than Obi-Wan for his clones to automatically defer and serve Obi-Wan like it's normal. (Normal people don't think of doing something so insane as creating clones of themselves in what is basically slavery otherwise.) Plus no one knows who he is or called him out for having a (almost) Jedi for a lover so evidently he is more of a common Mando background.

-

Insert scene of Obi-Wan prancing around in 7 layers of silk and a few clones chasing him, trying to add more layers (and amour) onto Obi-Wan.

The casual Mandalorian on the side of the road stop to stare at the gorgeous sight. With Obi-Wan not in amour and in flowing silk, he looks more like he belonged in a bedroom getting ready for bed than being out in public.

It's indecent, they think. No wonder he was able to seduce a Mando and overcome the whole *waves hands* Mando dislike for Jedi thanks to his looks.

3 months ago
He Heard Shang Qinghua Call Binghe His Son ONCE And Ran With His Own Conclusions
He Heard Shang Qinghua Call Binghe His Son ONCE And Ran With His Own Conclusions

He heard Shang Qinghua call Binghe his son ONCE and ran with his own conclusions

6 years ago
A Day At Centennial Park! It Smells Like Salt And Seaweed. (at Centennial Park) Https://www.instagram.com/p/BsHiGMnlbKc/?utm_source=ig_tumblr_share&igshid=1qil314840zuq

A day at Centennial Park! It smells like salt and seaweed. (at Centennial Park) https://www.instagram.com/p/BsHiGMnlbKc/?utm_source=ig_tumblr_share&igshid=1qil314840zuq

2 months ago

Romantic Cumplane!

I need more romantic cumplane. It’s my guilty pleasure. Idc if it’s post transmitigation or au: never did transmitigate; like don’t get me wrong, I love platonic cumplane but there’s just something about them romantically that itches my brain just right.

Like that haters-friends-lovers tropes is just 🙂‍↕️🤌

The way SY would absolutely be airplanes sugar daddy. Just another nobleman paying an artist during a renaissance period. Like we have all these big man CEO tropes meets petite women whose working at a chicken shop to make ends meet ala kdrama style but make it cumplane. And I eat it up every single time. And airplane is def the shorter one. I think with his luck he would be short in every universe.

But I rarely find fics with them romantically or without another person in the pairing and that makes me sad :(

And no I will not be writing cumplane fics bc I can barely keep up with mine, even tho I know the rule is “can find it then make it”

6 years ago
Black History Show Pt 2!! 😋😋 #dancing #music #blackhistorymonth Https://www.instagram.com/p/BunIoYeHItB/?utm_source=ig_tumblr_share&igshid=1kaafjpegda2t

black history show pt 2!! 😋😋 #dancing #music #blackhistorymonth https://www.instagram.com/p/BunIoYeHItB/?utm_source=ig_tumblr_share&igshid=1kaafjpegda2t


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3 months ago

okay but I kinda need read a fic where Shen Yuan is wife plotted (AGAIN) by some random papapa plant (dammit Airplane--) and he basically falls into a floating coma or something. on a hunt for some rare herbs with liu qingge, he's lured by the sound of his Binghe's (his lost little lamb) voice and ends up ensnared.

okay, imagine that he's being held high in the air by these vines, just asleep, and nothing can wake him, even after liu qingge cuts the monster plant down to get him. he's just sleeping, rosy-cheeked, unwakeable.

peak lords panic, and start trying to figure it out what this rare plant is. sqh wracks his brain somewhat and somewhat remembers this plot line.

they come to the conclusion that its the everlasting dreams flower or some shit. basically traps the victim in their dreams while it sucks out their qi until the person dies of dehydration/starvation or qi loss, whichever kills them first (sometimes, its not the latter, and if the person is a cultivator, they can last a while before their qi is fully drained enough that they can no longer practice inedia but also haven't died yet). meanwhile, the person won't even care because their dreams are so sweet, that they don't want to leave.

the only way to cure it? true love's song. someone who truly knows and loves the sleeper needs to sing something from the heart, and if it's pure enough or something, it can pierce through the pleasant dreams of the person and wake them up. yqy and lqg instantly become flustered, but both of them can't help but secretly wonder how it would feel to have Xiao jiu/shen-shixiong wake up at their song.

they confer with the rest of the peak lords a little outside of shen yuan's resting rooms on the Qian Cao peak, and yqy decides to sing a little lullaby he used to sing to Xiao jiu when they were still on the streets. he goes in, his voice is a steady but a bit nervous, but he croons that shit out. airplane can't believe his fucking ears. yqy could honestly be an idol its not fair wtf-- only, sqh knows he can't dance to save his fucking life, so.

when yqy finishes, he waits, but his heart sinks when Xiao jiu doesn't so much as stir. he hurries out of the room but sqh notices how the tips of his ears are red in embarrassment. of course, even when he still had his memory, Xiao jiu wanted nothing to do with him, why did he think it would change now, he just--

lqj goes in next. he murmurs a song that he constantly hears sqq sometimes strumming on his guqin, thinking that means sqq must love the song. he's not sure what else he can do, he doesn't know how to sing from the heart, but the feelings he has for his shixiong... he has to at least try to wake him.

he doesn't wake. lqj walks out in defeat.

airplane who has been wracking his brain all this time because he was trying to think of requirements for awakening so he wasn't paying attention suddenly jumps up. he doesn't mind the startled glances that the other peak lords give him.

he just remembered!

the song didn't have to be a romantic song or anything. the love for the sleeper didn't have to be romantic love, at all! he remembered this plot line that he added about binghe trying to wake one of his wives, but it was one of the wives' sisters that woke her, because she truly loved her sister deeply. causing binghe to realize that his love was becoming shallow, in that it wasn't enough anymore or blah blah blah. he scrapped that plot line and that plant after he got a ton of bad reviews for even suggestion that lbh's love (pillar) wasn't big enough and so he had lbh fix it with papapa, but whatever!

he shivered.

anyway, the story has been so warped over time that its only told that it has to be a romantic lover. but it didn't have to be.

he had an idea. he loved Shen Yuan! despite the rocky start, their shared transmigration and experiences led them to form a closer relationship, and Shen Yuan was his best friend. he knew him wholly, both in his bitchiness of Cucumber-bro of their old lives, and in the snarky-masquerading-as-pretentious SQQ he was in their new lives. He knew him as a whole of Shen Yuan, not as Xiao Jiu, or as the original goods.

and also, both he and Shen Yuan had discovered they both liked some similar songs during one of their weekly private meetings a few weeks ago, while Shen Yuan was there under the guise of planning their eventual escapes, but was actually just drinking up all his wine and ransacking his snacks.

he's got this! (he hopes.) (he would quite not like his bro to die from an unwakeable coma.)

confidently, with incredulous stares following him, he walks into the room and sits at shen yuan's bedside. and proceeded to sing, as smoothly as he could, a vocaloid love song. if nothing else, it might shock Shen Yuan awake to hear a random ass vocaloid song in his dreams. the lyrics are actually pretty sweet and soft, but he can't stop imagining the music behind it, making it funnier than it should be to sing it.

[Shen Yuan, whose dreamscape has become completely synchronized to his current living conditions and so he dreams of the serene bamboo hut: *sitting at his table with binghe pouring him more tea* *sudden hatsune fucking miku disturbing the atmosphere*

Shen Yuan: 👁️👄👁️]

while he tries not to giggle as the song comes to an end, the stares of the other peak lords boring into his back from the doorway (he can just hear them thinking, "yqy and lqg couldn't wake him up but you think you can?" but maybe that's just his imagination. or maybe they think the song is shitty, what does he know--), shen yuan's eyes flutter open.

airplane, who didn't think this would actually actually work (though he hoped), gapes at him. Shen Yuan, eyes half lidded from sleep, gazes back.

"uh..."

"The everlasting dreams flower, really? That was a really good plot line, can't believe you, ah," Shen Yuan yawns, "dropped it in favor of more papapa as always, you shitty author." He can't catch a break. Why did he wake this guy up again?

"he's awake!?" multiple voices cry out.

THUMP. yqy has fainted.

they both have forgotten their audience. liu qingge has goes outside to punch a tree. the other peak lords are in various states of disarray, disbelief, and discomfort. liu minyan has appeared out of nowhere to take notes. mu qingfāng rolls his eyes and comes in to check shen-shenanigans's meridians.

"Can't believed that shit worked, honestly," Shen Yuan says, eyeing one of the older disciples try to drag YQY to a cot. he is starting to rouse. "hatsune miku, really?"

"aw! well now you know how deeply and purely I love you, shixiong!"

THUMP. YQY has fainted again.

more sounds of breaking trees from outside. mu qingfāng warily calls out a warning to avoid his good medicinal trees, thanks.

after a while of conversation, with eyes closing a bit once more, from exhaustion, rather than the plant poison, Shen Yuan gives Shang Qinghua a small smile. As his eyes flutter shut again, he says, "I love you too, bro."


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3 months ago

"You promised!" Shang Qinghua, despite his efforts, couldn't stop the gasping sobs. "You said you wouldn't leave me behind again! And then you died then and you're dying now and you promised!"

Shen Yuan reached for the other, fighting through the darkness and blurriness encroaching his vision. He managed to grasp his best friend's cheek, weak fingers brushing away the falling tears. "I'm sorry--"

"No! You don't get to be sorry," Shang Qinghua tried to sneer but his face crumpled instead. He didn't shake off Shen Yuan's hand. "This is the second time you're leaving. That's all you know how to do, isn't it? All you do is run away!"

"Qinghua--" Shen Yuan tried to say, but began to cough, hand falling away. The pain was unbearable and it was making it difficult to take in air. Shang Qinghua immediately reached out to steady him as Shen Yuan hacked out his lungs. In between each new flare of pain that swam along with every cough, Shen Yuan could make out the mumbles of his best friend.

"I didn't mean it, please, I didn't mean it, please not now, I didn't mean to say that, I'm sorry, please, please..."

This was familiar. The pain, the loss of breath, even his best friend beside him, keeping him upright. All that was missing was the hospital bed and the frantic beeping of machines. No nurses coming to save his ass now in this forest.

Shen Yuan briefly lost consciousness and when he came back to himself, vision clearing a little, he found Shang Qinghua holding his wrist, pouring more qi into him. As if they hadn't already discovered that qi transfers didn't work when the thing taking all of his was the poison of a Soul-Sucking Bewildered-beest. Shang Qinghua could've tried to get him back to the sect but Shen Qingqiu would have been long drained of qi and, most importantly, dead by then. He couldn't fly and transfer qi at the same time.

It only prolonged the inevitable.

"S-stop," he said, weakly pushing at Shang Qinghua's hand. The other ignored him. "You're gonna d-drain yourself. And then you won't be able to get back at all."

"I don't care," Shang Qinghua said. Shen Yuan wondered how long he had lost consciousness for, as the tear tracks on Shang Qinghua's face were now mostly dry. "You promised."

"I know," Shen Yuan didn't apologize again. "But you know it's not gonna work. And I'd rather you return, at least." He could feel his eyelids getting heavy.

Shang Qinghua let go of him only to throw up his hands in anger. Fresh tears were starting to spill down his cheeks again. "So what? I just leave you here to die without even trying?" He balled up his fists. "Typical. You always think that your actions won't affect other people."

Shen Yuan got the sense that Shang Qinghua was referring to something else, but his mind was starting to get too muddy to think of what. Breathing was getting a little harder. A lot harder.

"Qinghua. A-Hua, please listen to me. C-could you come kneel down next to me? Right here." He waited until Shang Qinghua lowered himself a bit, still frowning, before gently placing his forehead against the other peak lord's. "Listen to me, okay? I know I broke my promise again. But you've found me before and I trust you'll find me again." He said between gasps of air.

"A-Yuan--"

"We've met again and again... and we'll keep meeting. I k-know it." Gasp. Cough. "Beyond all ideas of... right and wrong, there's a field." Vision dimming. Grasp slackening. "I'll be... waiting for you... there."

"A-Yuan?"

"..."

"A-Yuan!?"

"..."

A wail broke through the serenity of the forest.


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2 months ago

im so obsessed with cumplane dynamic, theyre soulmates, theyre enemies, theyre eat others worst nightmares, theyre equally obsessed w/th each other, theyre divorced but also theyre old married couple. imagine ur watching sqq interact w/th sqh and like sqq is so aloof that he rarely lets ppl touch him and sqh is just hanging off his arm and laying directly across him and kissing him and sqq has massive rbf and everytime u think that sqq had enough and is gonna hit him, it doesn't happen!

id die, id go home, id sob, everyone has to settle for headpats and sqh over here is getting the full spa treatment

6 years ago

Wait till the end!!

“ Todoroki should’ve folded your ass!!”

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whos-the-seme - gay bog (b|w)itch
gay bog (b|w)itch

yo! they/them, queer. i live in the bog

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