Obsessed With This

Animals (j.m. oneshot)

MASTERLIST

Pairing: dbf!joel miller x afab!reader

Rating: NSFW, 18+ MDNI

Summary: Joel randomly calls you and tells you to meet him outside. Your parents are home though, and you can't necessarily tell them that Joel, your father's best friend, is asking you to go with him somewhere. Do you give a little white lie and leave, or do you wait until it's safer?

W/C: 2.5k

Warnings: Age gap (unspecified, but legal). Reader still lives with parents but she is an adult. Nosy and controlling ass parents to their child who's a grown ass adult. Inappropriate car activities while driving. Handjob. Blowjob. Pulling into a parking lot in broad daylight to do some stuff... P in V unprotected. ✨Save a horse, ride a cowboy (in a parking lot)✨ Reader has bit of a size kink. Cum swallowing... Is there a term for kissing with semen in both y'all's mouths??? (Don't look at me...). Possessive kink. Spanking (just once though). Getting caught... Exhibitionism...😵‍💫😵‍💫😵‍💫 I think that’s as much as I can say without spoiling anything, so! After you read it, let me know if there’s anything that I should put in here that I missed out on!

A/N: One of my all-time favorite song is Animals by Nickelback. As of lately, though, with all my Joel brain rot, I can't NOT think DBF!Joel every time I play it... so... here we are... I recommend listening before or when you read, just to really add to the experience hehehe.😈😈😈 @javierpena-inatacvest I hope you’re hungry!😋 Enjoy, y’all!!!

Feral animals under the cut…

You’re beside me on the seat,

Got your hand between my knees,

And you control how fast we go by just how hard you wanna squeeze.

“Two minutes, get your ass outside.”

Your eyes nearly pop out of your head. You blindly brought your phone up to your ear with your parents in the room with you, not taking the time to check the caller ID. 

“I-” you start as you head to the bathroom, not wanting your parents to overhear anything. “I can’t just leave right now, and especially not with you.” He scoffs over the phone. “I was at the dining table with my parents, jackass.” 

“But you’re not anymore, right?” 

“No.”

“And they didn’t question you?”

“Didn’t give them the chance to.”

“Just get out here. I’ll drive off quick, no one will see,” he states matter-of-factly.

“Joel,” you say, your tone betraying your logical responses.

“Now,” he says before ending the call. 

Your heart racing, you peer at yourself in the mirror, making sure you look semi-presentable even though you know Joel’s intentions are going to ruin your appearance anyway. You leave the bathroom, heading for the front door as fast as possible. 

“Who called ya?” your dad asked. 

“Going somewhere?” your mother followed.

“Just a friend. And I’m gonna step out real quick, I’ll be back in a bit,” you say nonchalantly, not trying to raise any suspicion. Your mother raises her brow at you. 

“I really hope you both find the value in respecting people’s privacy,” you say, stepping out the front door as you speak, erasing the chances of any further commentary. That may have come across more harsh than you would have liked, but even into adulthood, the three of you have gotten into huge fights for your whereabouts. It’s not like you left them in the dark all the time or kept them up late waiting for you to get home. You were living under their roof, so you still respected their time. Yet, it was never enough. And you were too wound up thinking about Joel to bite your tongue.

He parked a house away, and you’re practically running at the speed of light to get into the passenger side so he can pull away before your parents decide to make it to the window to gain any more information they can. 

As soon as you get into the passenger seat, though, Joel has different plans as he immediately puts one hand around your waist and the other on the thigh closest to him. You’re barely able to shut the door before he pulls you into the middle of the bench seat of his truck, your body flushed against his. You squeak out at his quickness, his strength. He smirks at it. 

He lets his hand on your thigh drag up your body and situate itself on your jaw, turning your face to his and kissing you deeply, all tongue and teeth and thickened spit due to how fucking turned on both of you are. 

You pull away, breathless, “Baby, you need to drive off, now.”

“Shit, sorry,” he says, releasing his hold on you. “Stop distractin’ me,” he playfully scolds, a smile full of trouble across his face as he pulls out of the neighborhood. 

You scoff at him now, perplexed at his audacity to tell you that you’re distracting him. It makes an idea pop in your head. You’ll show him a distraction. 

You shift your body to face him. Your hand lands on his thigh, running up and down lightly, getting closer to his hardened bulge that’s been begging for your attention since he dialed your number. 

His grip on the wheel tightens, his jaw twitching, “Darlin’,” he grits. “What are you doin’?”

“Oh, nothing,” you say as you lean in closer, licking a stripe up his neck, your mouth at his ear. “Just,” you cup his erection, “being a distraction.”

His hips push up into your hand. He is painfully hard right now, his entire neck and face a bright red from your ministrations. You unzip his jeans, pulling it and his underwear down to let his cock free. You moan at the sight.

“I’m warnin’ you, girl.”

“Want me to stop?” 

Silence. 

He moves his arm closest to you to sprawl along the back of the bench seat, giving you complete access to him as he attempts to drive you two to God knows where. 

You scoot closer in, and let out a content giggle. You place a wet kiss at his pulse point, whispering in his ear, “Thought so, baby.”

You bring your hand up to your mouth and let your spit pool in your hand, bringing it back down to his length, spreading it all over before you wrap your fingers around him.

“Joel, baby, fuck-” you moan in his ear as you slowly begin pumping him, “look how fucking big you are in my hands,” you whine. “Can barely wrap my hand around you,” you say as you nip at his neck again. 

Joel begs his eyes to stay on the road, knowing that if he were to look down right now, he’d lose every ounce of his control — on both his self restraint and his damn truck. But, God damn, the slapping sound of your hand on his spit-soaked cock as you whine and writhe at his side has him desperate. He glances down for barely a millisecond, and he can’t help the groan that leaves his throat, his head threatening to throw itself back in utter pleasure. 

“Am I doing good, baby?” You ask him. “A good distraction?” You add, your lips ghosting his jaw with each syllable. 

“F-fuckin H-hell, baby,” he stutters, hips softly meeting every push and pull of your hand. “G-gonna make me c-crash this f-fuckin’ car.” 

With his admission, your grip gets a little tighter, pumps get a little faster, and you're giving extra attention to the head of his cock. He’s pulsing beneath you, breathing erratic, and you can’t stop the urge to lean down and take him into your mouth. 

On instinct, Joel’s foot falls a little heavier on the gas, causing him to drive a little roughly over a bump on the road. His dick pushes deeper into your mouth, causing the tip to hit at the back of your throat. 

The spit that forms from your gag reflex gives you an easier ability to devour him just as he likes—warm, wet, and sloppy. Your head begins to bob faster, your hand still supporting the base of him as you periodically cup him below, and he’s an absolute mess. 

You pull away for one moment in a choked breath, your hand now jacking him off, and you look up at him through your eyelashes. 

“I know you’re close, baby, I feel it,” you gasp out as your hand squeezes a little more, at the pressure you know makes him break. “Need you to cum, baby, need you to fill my fucking throat,” and with that, your mouth is back on him. 

“Oh, f-fu-…” Joel nearly growls out, immediately pulling into some random parking lot, thankful the nearest slot was empty. The second the car is in park, he’s shooting his load down your throat, his hand flying to the back of your head to keep you stuffed full of him. 

The way that you’re so turned on right now just by giving him the sloppiest head he has ever experienced has you absolutely dripping—an absolute moaning mess, vibrating him into overstimulation. He pulls you off, and you can’t help the blissed out smirk that forms on your face as you swallow almost everything he gave you, residue dripping down your chin. 

He brings your face to his, and his tongue collects up his own spend, feeding it back to you in a desperate, sloppy kiss—if you can even call it that. 

As your lips tangle in a nasty embrace, he’s quick to rip your bottoms off as he settles you on his lap. The feel on your pussy of his spent cock slowly getting erect again has you moaning into his mouth, your hips grinding down onto him, arousal coating him, urging him back to his full, hard length. 

“Sh-shit,” falls from your mouth as his trails further down, leaving kisses down your throat. Joel brings his hand down to pump himself a few more times, ensuring he’s at full attention. Your hips lift up on instinct, Joel notching his tip at your soaking entrance. 

You lower yourself onto him, going in with ease with how wet both you and him are, the stretch of him still providing that delicious burn. No matter how prepared or lubed up either of you are, that burn will never go away. You never want it to. It flips a certain switch of lust within you—an animalistic need—knowing just how fucking big he is, knowing that it’s all for you. 

Usually when you’re on top, he’s extra sensitive, and you wait for him to give the signal for you to move. That need is there, though, and you can’t wait. As soon as your hips are flushed with his, you’re immediately lifting back up and dropping down on him again, maintaining a brutal pace that has you both uttering incoherent filth. 

You place your hands on either side of his head, gripping the back of his seat to give you better momentum as you bounce on him. His hands are gripping at the globes of your ass, guiding your movements, fingertip-shaped bruises threatening to form. “Fuck, sweet girl,” he lets out, “just like that, baby.” His face is nuzzled in between your breasts, nipping and licking at them with every bounce of your thrusts. 

His words cause your pussy to flutter, a possessive feeling gliding down your spine. Your one hand releases the chair and grasps at the curls on the base of his neck. “T-tell me,” you stutter, “t-tell me who my p-pussy belongs to,” you get out, licking into his mouth before you let him answer. 

His hips begin to meet your movements, his pubic bone providing the cherry on top to unravel you. His lips are against yours, breaths intertwining into the thick air, windows beginning to fog. “Mine,” Joel growls. Your hips speed up, the truck shaking and squeaking with every movement. “This pussy is mine. You,” he breathes, “are fuckin’ mine,” a stinging pain fills your senses before your brain registers the slap to your ass. 

Your thighs begin to shake and your body goes rigid, your climax teetering against the edge. 

“Joel,” you cry out. 

“I’ve got you, pretty girl, let go for me,” he coos. And just as he’s about to hold you down to fuck up into you, a car parks right next to you, door immediately slamming as the person gets out and urgently peers into the driver’s side window. 

Both of you are too close to stop your movements, the person’s face outside the car falling into pure horror and shock at what’s going on inside. 

“Oh!” you scream out, both of you using all your strength to stop but unable to.

“That’s my dad outside the car!”

Oh please, the keys, they’re not in the ignition,

Must have wound up on the floor while we were switching our positions. 

Before you know it, you’re pulsing around his cock as he fills up another one of your holes with thick, hot ropes of his cum. 

Neither of you realize just when your father scrambled back into his car and drove away, but the idea of getting caught turned both of you on more than you’d ever admit. 

You don’t get off of him just yet, both of you sitting in each other’s sweaty embrace as you let your breathing and heart rates return to normal. 

“So…” he says, rubbing circles on the small of your back. 

You look up at him, chin perched on his chest. “So,” you giggle. 

“What the fuck do we do?” he asks, wordlessly referring to the mishap with your father.

Not as worried, you mess with him before giving a serious answer. “Mmm,” you say as you place a light kiss to his chest, “I was thinking you give me your boxers since you ripped the only bottoms I have on me, and you deal with the jeans chafing your balls until you get back home.”

His eyes go wide, completely forgetting that he did that, and silently cursing himself for doing something so stupid. Luckily he decided to actually wear underwear today.

“Oh, fuck, baby, I’m so sorry, I just-” he pauses for a moment. “You fuckin’ distracted me!” he says before he completely busts out in laughter, a deep howl filling the car. You smack his chest, your laughter following suit. 

“You motherfucker,” you say, sitting up a little straighter, pulling him in for a chaste kiss. 

He smiles at you, pure warmth and adoration in his eyes. He clears his throat, his face a little more serious. “I, uh, I was actually talkin’ about your old man, though.”

“I know,” you say, completely unbothered.

“Are you not worried?”

You shrug your shoulders. “No.”

“You don’t think he’s gonna try and wring my neck out?”

“Baby,” you laugh, “no, he’s not gonna wring your neck out. I wouldn’t let him, anyway.”

“Oh, gee. Thanks,” he deadpans.

“I promise you, I’ve got it taken care of.”

His fingers grasp your chin, pulling you in for another kiss, a little longer than the last. “I trust you.”

As soon as you enter the front door, you see both your parents at the dining table again. Though, this time around, instead of controlling and angry, they look pale and embarrassed. 

You stroll to the dining table, not caring to sit down, and you get straight to the point. They can’t even look you in the eye. 

“So? Did we learn our lesson about-”

“Yes,” your parents say in unison, “please just,” your mother continues as your dad starts to retreat anywhere else but here. “Let’s not talk about it.”

You can’t help the laugh that bubbles in your chest. 

“You’re a grown woman,” your mother says, rigidly. “It’s really not our business what you do anymore.” You peer at your father. He throws a thumbs up at your mother’s words, eyes still trained on everything else but you. 

“Glad ya guys came to your senses,” you say, offering a smug smile. You can’t help it. If catching you having the steamiest sex in an older man’s car is what causes them to stop breathing down your neck, then so be it. You’d have intentionally done something like this ages ago if that’s what it took. 

You start heading to your room when your dad finally speaks. Still unable to look you in the eyes. “Tell Joel I don’t give a fuck what he does—what y’all do—just,” he pauses to take a breath. “Tell him not to address any of this with me. Ever.”

“Deal.”

No, no matter where we go,

‘Cause everybody knows,

We’re just a couple animals. 

End Note: Well. That killed me. The amount of laps I took writing this...🥴 Thank you all so much for reading! Likes, comments, reblogs, etc, — all your support means the absolute world to me. I wouldn’t be able to do this without all of you. Thank you so so so much. There are genuinely not enough words to express my gratitude. As always feedback for my stories (at a technical sense) is also super super helpful whether it is constructive or positive! Anything helps me to be the best writer that I can be. Also, I try my best to make sure I don’t leave any stones unturned, so if there’s a detail I introduced but never really addressed its significance or gave that detail its full circle moment, please let me know because my perfectionism would like me to fix it immediately :,). All my love! Xo

Tags: @javierpena-inatacvest @katiexpunk @farmerlarrry @mellymbee @jobee403 @soavenuepenguin @rainbowcosmicchaos @untamedheart81 @babygal-babygal @pedritoferg @akah565 @pedrostories

Please let me know if you’d like to be tagged or would like to stop being tagged in future fics! Xo

If so dangerous, why so beautiful…

I would like to formally apologize to the fbi agent monitoring my internet activity for the amount of Spencer Reid and Aaron Hotchner smut I read. I'm sorry but fbi agents are hot, so hit me up??

Kinktober Requests!

Since Kinktober is happening fairly soon (like in a few days), I want to ask for some Kinktober requests! I have a few ideas already, but am really wanting to challenge myself. So... here are some of my rules for this Kinktober (2024)!!!

Hard No's:

Anything that has to do with feces, urine, or vomit

Anything to do with animals (like, actual animals. Werewolves and stuff like that is alright)

Incest (even if it is two siblings sharing someone)

Minor/Underage Stuff (Not even just adultxminor, but minor/underage in general)

Maybe's:

Non-Con (in certain circumstances or with certain characters, but I won't write any r@pe/non-con when it comes to real people. Ex: Brian Quinn)

Yes's:

Pretty much anything else! I will write literally any kink (unless it makes me suuuupppeerrrr uncomfy) so ask away!

Everything from Shelby’s vod

It took Shelby 10 months after the relationship to heal

Wilbur cared more about how it looked

It was subtle in the way Wilbur abused

It didn’t start out with Wilbur hurting Shelby out right

Wilbur wanted to make sure that Shelby was ok with the biting so that she couldn’t come back later and say he abused her

As time went on, Wilbur kept biting too hard more and more frequently

Wilbur decided that he didn’t want to keep “accidentally” hurting Shelby so they came up with a safe word

Wilbur made it seem normal and told his friends and made it seem like a bit to take Shelby’s arm and bite it in front of everyone until she has to shot in pain. And she just has to laugh it off

Shelby kept telling Wilbur after these bits happen that she didn’t like it and that he needed to stop biting so hard

Wilbur replied that this is who he is and he wasn’t going to change.

Wilbur would constantly contradict himself and then try and gaslight Shelby, that he didn’t say these things and how do you know that it’s not your memory being false

Eventually, Wilbur weaponized the safe word and used it insure that Shelby was hurt and on a constant basis

Wilbur wasn’t sorry anymore. He had stopped apologizing so long ago that Shelby doesn’t remember the last time he had apologized

Now, sometimes Wilbur would bite Shelby so hard, she would yell out the safe word because it hurt so bad.

Instead of letting go, Wilbur clamped down even harder or he would grind his teeth down.

He would sometimes smile after.

At one point Wilbur had pinned Shelby down and asked her to try her absolute hardest to get him off of her and she couldn’t do it

He said something to make the point that he was so much stronger than her. That she wouldn’t be able to fight back.

Wilbur said he didn’t have time and energy to do the stuff that Shelby was asking for and then would constantly make any sorta time and energy for anything but her

Shelby was constantly anxious, nauseous all the time, gagging daily, occasionally throwing up because of the bit in her stomach

Shelby would tell Wilbur that she felt unwanted and ignored and he would reassure her that he loved her and that he loved her more than she loved him

Wilbur would INSIST that he loved her more.

Wilbur was love bombing Shelby at the beginning of their relationship.

One month into their relationship, Wilbur was talking about them being soulmates, about forever, about how he wanted to be a dad

On the decline of the relationship, Wilbur doesn’t want kids at all and he has NEVER wanted kids

So Shelby brought up marriage and Wilbur said that he still wanted to marry her

Now, he instead says, “I’m not the commitment guy. You know that.”

Shelby did not know that.

By the end, before Wilbur went on tour, he was basically flaunting that he would never prioritize Shelby over anything

Wilbur was never gonna prioritize Shelby over anything that would give him more fame or money.

He said that himself, directly to Shelby.

Wilbur said he wanted to see how much fame and money he could get.

Wilbur admitted that he had grown to resent Shelby

This was the final push to get Shelby out of that relationship

After the relationship ended, Wilbur was “kind” enough to ship Shelby back her clothes

Only her clothes.

Wilbur trashed everything else.

He lived in filth.

Wilbur would spill things and never clean them up

Wilbur got an ant infestation once and was never gonna do anything about because he said bugs are normal in British houses

Wilbur wouldn’t clean his bathroom for months and months and months but would constantly complain about how bad it smelled

Shelby then told him that it was mold.

But Wilbur would insist that it wasn’t mold even though he hadn’t cleaned in months

When they met, Wilbur was washing his clothes without detergent and then hanging it on his filthy kitchen cabinets

Shelby found out after they broke up that Wilbur didn’t clean at all when she wasn’t there because he just waited for her to get there to do it

Shelby was paying for all the cleaning supplies like soap and paper towels

Shelby was paying for food more than half the time because Wilbur would push her to order for them even if she had paid for the previous meals

Shelby was also paying for every plane ticket and every cat-sitter and Wilbur never offered to help her pay

Shelby told Wilbur that she couldn’t afford doing this all the time so he offered to pay for the cat-sitter from now on

He did that once.

And then never again.

Shelby has said all this because Wilbur is dangerous.

He was willing to lie.

He was willing to do harm to the someone he claimed to love more than anyone he had ever loved.

Wilbur’s actions escalated slowly over time and Shelby wont be the last person that he hurts.

Please note that this is everything I’ve gather from watching the vod. If I missed something, just add it on in a reblog. If you still support this disgusting excuse of a human being after knowing that he did this, you are a bad person.

Always listen to the victim

Ah. The four Genders.

“Until we Meet Again”- Spencer Reidx fem!Reader

Requests are open again!

Unsub! Spencer Reid x fem!Reader

WARNINGS: kinda a lot of build-up, 18+, Smut, Mentions of Blood, Violence, Mentions of Weapons(Guns, Knives, etc.), Canon-Typical Violence, Knife Kink, Oral (fem receiving), Kidnapping, Slight Non-Con (if you squint), Pet Names (Baby, Angel, Princess), mentions of rape/murder/pedophilia, slight angst, not proof-read

If I forgot anything above please let me know!!

Summary: Spencer Reid, one of the BAU’s most prized agents, is on a killing spree. He is killing people who he deems are “bad people”. You can’t exactly say he is wrong, however, as he is killing pedophiles, rapists, and murderers who otherwise would walk. Nevertheless, you and the rest of the team are finally catching up to him, and he is not happy.

Keep reading

Me stumbling onto Jim Hopper Smut

me personally if i lived in haddonfield and i saw micheal myers in person, id scream without the s but idk thats just me.

riddle me this batman, if quizzes are quizzical then what are tests?