Hazel: What's A Thot?

too much leo slander happening

Nico: Estelle is asking about where babies come from

Percy: Hmmm. She's too little, tell her about the stork

Nico: Okay

Nico: *to Estelle* Your mom slept with a stork

Percy: *spitting out his drink* nO -

Will: look, you have to eat something!

Nico: like an apple? *Throws apple at Will's head*

Will, easily catches it: oh yes, 'an apple a day keeps the doctor away' very mature😒

Hera *appears out of nowhere*: so you have chosen marriage.

Nico: what

Will: what

Demigods just trying to eat their lunch in peace: what

Mr. D and Chiron: oh shit-

Hera: prove to me of your devotion to each other by undergoing three trials of my choice. Only then will I bless this union. If you fail, then the marriage is destined to fail as well. *Vanishes*

Nico: 👁️👄👁️

Will: you know... I always imagined I'd be the one to propose...

Nico: 👁️👄👁️

Will: why don't we go prepare for these mystery trials? You can help me pick out some armor. Unless that accidentally calls upon Ares to make us battle each other to the death

Nico: 👁️👄👁️

Will: I'm just saying why didn't SOMEONE *glares at Chiron and Mr. D* warn us about this???

Chiron: you know the myth of ancient Greeks proposing to each other by the throwing and catching of apples. It's derived from the story of-

Will: yes, yes, when Aphrodite and Hera and Athena fight over the apple that someone threw their way that read 'to the fairest' or whatever. They each argued the apple belonged to them. But you never said something like this could happen now!! That if someone throws and catches an apple here that it counts as a proposal!!

Mr. D: i thought it would be funnier if we didn't warn anyone

Chiron: I had to stop him from creating a camp activity that was just dodgeball with apples

Mr. D: which I still think would've been hilarious. I'm surprised it's taken so long for this to happen tbh

Chiron: yeah sorry about that, it's been so long I honestly forgot. What do the kids say nowadays? "My bad."

Will: I'm ENGAGED and you can only say 'my bad??' Look! You broke Nico!

Nico: 💀💀💀

Mr. D: eh it's just wedding jitters. He'll be fine

Will: Nico? Nico, it's okay. We'll find a way out of this-

Nico: I can't believe I'm marrying the love of my life 🥺

Will:

Will:

Will, deciding William di Angelo has a nice ring to it: oh okay, good 🥺

Nico: Adoption is hard. I just wanna make sure we find the perfect fit for our family

Will: *who's been there for three hours* Please just pick a goddamn plant, Nico

To this day I cannot understand why Grover Underwood is such an underrated character.

Why do wlw books have no fandom I neeeddddd

Percy Jackson is canonically set in the 2010s and since Percy's a emo bitch he'll most likely have this haircut

Nico is a hufflepuff and that is a fact. I will not be taking any criticism at the moment <3

Not me consuming queer books like oxygen